Chapter 30 #2
“It didn’t have to be this way!” he screams, spit dotting my face.
Up close, he looks completely gone.
Blood drips from the corner of one swollen eye, mixing with the tears streaking down his cheeks.
“Get the fuck off of him!” Cullen roars. His arms hook around Matt’s throat, dragging him backward.
I buck hard beneath Matt, trying to get to my knife.
“You couldn’t even save him!” Matt bellows.
Then he throws his head backward, connecting with Cullen’s face.
Cull cries out and falls sideways, clutching his nose as blood spills between his fingers.
I finally free my knife from my pocket.
Matt sees it.
“No!”
He slams his hand down on my wrist. The knife skitters across the bridge before I can even get it open.
Matt falls back on top of me, his breath hot and rotten against my face.
“I saved you,” he croaks.
I shove at his chest, trying to get enough space to breathe, to move, to reach the gun.
His hand clamps around my throat. “I called 911 that day,” he chokes out, shaking violently. “But we should’ve jumped together. We should’ve—”
My blood runs cold.
Matt’s expression crumples.
“You should have chosen me.”
Cold metal presses against my forehead.
My body goes perfectly still.
“If I can’t have you,” he whispers, crying openly now, “nobody can.”
“Hud!”
Cullen barrels into Matt, knocking him sideways.
I scramble to my feet, lungs burning, eyes darting wildly for the gun—
Click.
The sound freezes the entire world.
Archer groans somewhere behind me.
Then silence.
Heavy.
Wrong.
I turn…
Matt has Cullen trapped against his chest, one arm locked around his throat, and the gun jammed against the side of Cull’s head.
My stomach drops so violently that I nearly throw up.
Cull claws at Matt’s arm, silent tears streaking down his face as he struggles for air.
“Look what you’re making me do,” Matt says hoarsely, the gun shaking against Cullen’s skull.
“I tried so hard, Hudson.” His face falls. “I just wanted to be seen. Wanted.”
“Matt, please.” My voice breaks. “Please don’t do this.”
Cull’s face is turning red.
“When he’s gone,” Matt says, almost pleading now, “you’ll finally see me.”
His breathing turns ragged.
“Please. Please just see me.”
“I do,” I croak. “I do, okay? Just put the gun down.”
Matt shakes his head violently.
“Why?” he cries. “If I can’t have you, then I have nothing!” Spit flies from his mouth, teeth bared. “Do you know what that feels like?”
“I do, Matt.” I take a slow step forward. “More than you realize.”
“No, you don’t!”
His grip tightens around Cullen’s throat, pulling a horrible choking sound from him.
“Your parents love you,” Matt spits. “Your friends love you.”
“We’re your friends,” I say quickly. “We’ve always been friends.”
My voice shakes so badly it barely sounds like mine.
“We care about you, Matt.”
Cullen winces, the gun digging into his temple.
“Please,” I rasp. “Please just let him go.”
“You still don’t get it,” Matt growls.
“Yes, I do. We can fix this. We can get you help.”
The gun vibrates harder in Matt’s grip.
“That’s what people do when they love someone, right? I say desperately. “They help them.”
Something in Matt’s expression breaks, his eyes hollowing out.
“I can’t leave here now,” he whispers.
My chest squeezes to the point of pain.
“They’ll take me away.” His voice cracks. “They’ll know it was me—what I did for you.”
His lip quivers.
“It has to end here. Like you wanted it to.”
Cullen gasps, lips tinged blue as he fights for air, clutching Matt’s arm.
“Matt—”
In the distance, sirens start to wail.
Faint at first.
Then closer.
Matt tenses.
“No,” he whispers, broken.
The sirens grow louder.
Red and blue lights flicker through the trees as patrol cars tear down the dusty road.
“No, no, no—”
His grip slips from Cullen’s throat as panic floods his face. Cull stumbles straight into me, coughing violently as I catch him against my chest.
Matt’s face crumples when he sees me hold him.
“You called the police?” he asks, his body shaking.
“I did,” Archer admits quietly, holding up his phone.
Tears cling to Matt’s lashes, his head shaking back and forth.
“Matt,” I say carefully, pulse still hammering. “It’s going to be okay.”
“They’ll take me away!” he screams, the sound tearing from his chest.
Matt staggers backward, dragging a trembling hand through his hair. The gun shakes uncontrollably at his side.
“They’ll lock me up—I’ll lose you—I can’t—”
His breathing turns ragged. He claws at his hair hard enough to yank strands loose.
“Matt, listen to me—”
“NO!”
His eyes dart wildly between all of us, unfocused and terrified.
Patrol cars show up in droves, officers climbing out of their vehicles, guns drawn and shouting.
Matt looks towards the woods.
Then back at me.
For one devastating second, he looks completely shattered.
“I just wanted somebody to choose me,” he says weakly.
Then he runs.
“Matt!”
Cullen lurches forward beside me, Archer reaching too late as Matt bolts off the bridge and disappears into the trees.
Branches snap, a crow caws somewhere overhead.
Then—
BANG.
The world stops.
Cullen gasps.
Archer collapses forward, hands braced on his knees.
I can’t breathe.
And deep in the woods, birds explode into flight.