Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
Cullen
The hammock gently sways beneath the two oaks in Hud’s backyard, my head resting on his shoulder. We’ve both just been lying here, listening to the birds singing and the breeze rustling the trees.
It’s the first day in this circus of a week that we’ve really had a moment to breathe. To just… be.
Between the police investigation and statements, we have hardly had time to come to terms with what happened at the river. I broke down with Maria in my session earlier today, the weight of everything mingling with relief coming to a head.
Hopefully now we can finally move on.
“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Hud nudges me with his knee, jolting me out of my thoughts.
I curl into his side, tucking my face against his neck. “Everything. Nothing.”
“Mmm,” he hums, his lips brushing my forehead.
“What are you thinking about?” I volley back.
“Matt.”
My arm tightens around his stomach, holding him close.
Hud takes a deep breath, exhaling a few beats later.
“Wanna talk about it?” I ask, recognizing his breathing exercise.
He sighs, his hand skimming my thigh. “I already unloaded on Maria today.”
“Same, but if there is more on your mind, you know I’ll listen.”
Hud contemplates for a long time before he speaks. “I feel bad for Matt.”
My jaw tenses.
Hud and I have very different perspectives on Matt.
While I can acknowledge he was clearly unwell mentally, it doesn’t take away from the shit he put us through.
Just remembering what the inside of the camper looked like, decorated with all of Hud’s stolen things, is enough to fill me with rage again.
Two weeks ago, I’d probably let it. Now, I count to ten, allowing the sensation to pass.
“Tell me why you feel that way.”
Hud chuckles. “Okay, Maria.”
I pinch his side, making him jerk and laugh harder. “I'm trying to be a supportive boyfriend over here.”
“I know you are,” he says, his laugh fading out.
He sighs.
“I just wish he had said something. Why go through all that trouble, hoping and thinking I knew it was him when he could have just had a conversation with me?"
My arm pulls Hud closer, cinching him to me.
“Hud, you know better than anyone that our brains are powerful. They hold an authority over us that we can’t always control.
We can ask why forever, but sometimes there isn’t an answer that makes sense.
We just have to learn to recognize when things are getting a little weird in our heads and not be afraid to ask for help. ”
Hudson chuckles, the sound light. “Maria has rubbed off on you.”
My smile is soft. “And good thing too. I’m not great at being a traumatic mess.”
“Same here.”
Hud goes quiet again, his body a little tense under my cheek.
"What else is on your mind?"
He exhales, the sound shaky. "That's two friends who are just… gone." Hud snaps his fingers. "Just like that."
"I know," I say, my voice hoarse.
I still despise what Ella did to Hud.
Still hate what Matt put us through.
But that doesn't change the fact that we grew up with them.
Two people we've known most of our lives, and neither story ended the way they should have.
"I keep replaying everything," he admits quietly. "Trying to figure out what I missed. How—" He shakes his head, his cheek mussing my hair. "It doesn't matter now, but had we seen it sooner, maybe none of this would have happened."
"You know better than anyone we can't change the past, and dwelling on it doesn't do any good."
"Who is the smart one now?" He asks, kissing my forehead.
I chuckle. "It's always been me. I just let you think it's you."
Hud snorts. "Yeah, okay."
We both snicker and turn into each other, our noses brushing. Our limbs intertwine, and we stay like that, holding each other until I start to drift, the late afternoon sun like a warm blanket.
“Hudson? Where are you?”
Hadley comes running out of the house, skidding to a stop beside the hammock. She’s out of breath, a big, bright smile on her face.
“Where’s the fire?” Hud asks, laughing at her red face and windswept hair.
“Mom has something for you inside.”
“Okay… I can get it later.” He turns his body back towards me, his knee hitching over my thigh.
“It’s from Ashbridge State.”
Hud gasps, then he’s fighting to get out of the hammock, his legs tangling in the net and flipping us both onto the ground. He scrambles to his feet, grabbing me by the hand and hauling me up.
“For fucks sake, Hadley. Why didn’t you lead with that?”
He doesn’t wait for an answer, already sprinting through the yard, me in tow.
We make it to the back patio in seconds, Hudson bursting through the French doors, dropping my hand and looking for his mom.
Hadley brings up the rear, yelling at Hud. “She’s in the kitchen!”
He’s off, turning the corner into the kitchen at breakneck speed. I follow right behind him, coming to stand next to him.
In his hand is a weighty-looking envelope, the gold embossed emblem of Ashbridge shining in the corner. Hud is just staring at it, his hand trembling.
It’s addressed to Hud from the admissions office.
Mr. Daniels comes into the kitchen, his eyes swinging to everyone gathered around Hud. “What’s going on?”
“Hudson got mail from ASU,” Mrs. Nora tells her husband. “Go ahead and open it, love. See what it says.”
Hud stands stark still, his eyes glued to the white envelope.
“We are all here for you, baby, no matter what’s inside.” I rub his back, hoping the gesture gives him the strength he needs.
He looks at me, fear and hope colliding in his blue eyes, and offers me the envelope.
“You want me to read it for you?”
He manages a jerky nod, still at a loss for words.
Hud hands me the envelope and I rip it open, taking a deep breath and unfolding the paper. My eyes scan the sheet, my heart beating harder with each word I read.
“Well?” Hadley asks, impatient.
I peer into Hudson’s eyes—the blue I love so much—and deliver the news.
“You got your spot back.”
Silence.
Hud takes a sharp inhale, then the room erupts. Chairs scrape the hardwood, and laughter and cheers fill the kitchen.
Hadley snatches the letter from me, her eyes reading the words for herself, her smile bigger than I’ve ever seen.
I grab Hudson and yank him into a fierce hug, my hands fisting his shirt. He returns it with a strength I haven’t felt from him in months, his arms locked around me like a vice.
His parents surround us, piling in for a group hug, murmurs of love and joy wrapping around us.
Hud steps back from the hug, his eyes shining bright. “I didn’t think this would happen, not this year at least.”
“You fought your way back to this. It’s your reward for all you’ve been through,” Mrs. Nora says.
Hud smiles, although it’s a little sad. “As amazing as this is, I need to see if my financial aid that was approved for community college can be transferred. I’ll probably need to look for another grant or maybe even get a job to cover the rest. I don’t want to leave you guys in a bind.”
“Huddy?”
We all turn our focus to Hadley who is holding out a second piece of paper. She has tears in her eyes as Hud takes it from her. He looks down at the letter and begins to read aloud:
Congratulations! Ashbridge State University would like to welcome you to the elite club of students who have previously received the William Wells Academic Scholarship.
Through your dedication to your academic success, you have been chosen based on your merits in academia and your community.
We look forward to seeing you this fall for the upcoming school year. Go Raptors!
Sincerely,
Susan Finch, Director of Student Financial Services
My heart leaps. Hud is still looking at the paper, a tear dripping onto the page. His head slowly rises, his eyes taking in the smiles of everyone surrounding him.
“I got my scholarship back,” he gasps. His body begins to shake, and another tear falls. A smile cracks wide across his face, then he’s shouting into the quiet kitchen. “I got my scholarship back!”
We all break out into celebration, laughter ringing out as we pull each other into more hugs.
My lips crash into Hudson’s, giving him every bit of love I have to offer. His fingers cup the back of my head, giving it right back.
Hud breaks the kiss, and I swipe away the happy tear stuck to his cheek. He looks around at his family, his smile radiant.
“I know I said this when my charges were dropped, but thank you all for never giving up on me. What I put everyone through…” he shakes his head, more tears escaping his eyes. “Not everyone is as blessed as I am with a family who loves them. Who shows up for them, no matter what.”
“We love you, son,” Mr. Daniels says, his own face wet. “There is never anything we wouldn’t do for you or Hadley. Even you, Cullen.” He playfully knocks my shoulder with his fist, his smile pulled up on one side of his face.
I return the lopsided smile, my arm going around Hudson’s waist.
“Okay, I guess this means we need to go do some dorm shopping?” Mrs. Nora exclaims with an excited hand clap.
“Guess so,” Hud agrees, his eyes rereading his letters, smiling wide.
“Wonderful! I’ll call Eliza and we can all go this afternoon and get everything you boys need. Maybe some new cleats for tryouts?”
Hud’s head snaps up. “Soccer tryouts? Holy shit. I can go try out!” He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, elation vibrating through his body.
“Okay, then it’s all settled. I’ll go call Eliza.”
Mrs. Nora walks off to call my mom, Mr. Daniel’s winking at us before he follows his wife from the room.
Hadley comes over and wraps her arms around both Hud and me, pulling us into a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Hud. I love you so much. Both of you.”
“We love you too, Hads,” I admit. Because we do. My love may have morphed into something platonic, but Hadley will always mean something to me.
“Okay, I’m gonna go call Chad. I’ll see you two doofusses later.” With a toss of her blonde hair over her shoulder, she’s gone from the kitchen.