Chapter Twelve
AIDEN
WAKING UP, NOT ALONE
The feeling of warmth against my entire body made me pull in a deep, slow breath. I hadn’t felt peace like this in a long time. If ever. I knew what it was in an instant.
Emma.
She’d drifted off to sleep last night while watching TV, and her head had eventually fallen against my shoulder.
I should have woken her up and told her to head up to her place.
Instead, I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it around her.
She snuggled even closer, and even though I didn’t want to admit it, I’d longed for the feel of someone against me for months.
This wasn’t simply someone though.
Her. I’d wanted to feel Emma next to me. Against my body, where I could keep her warm and safe.
I slowly opened my eyes when I realized we were both lying on the sofa, Emma tucked in front of me.
We’d slept together all night.
Crap. Crap. Crap. How in the world am I going to get out of this?
Emma started to stretch—then instantly froze. I closed my eyes and did the cowardly thing. Pretended I was sleeping.
The feel of her body slowly moving against me nearly had me coming undone.
What in the hell was happening to me? Why did this woman make me feel things I hadn’t felt in years? Hell, she made feel things I’d never even felt with my own wife.
She wiggled a bit more and whispered, “Aiden?”
When I didn’t move, that prompted her to hurry off the sofa and exit the room. It wasn’t until I heard her climbing the steps that I breathed normally again. Once the sound of the door going out to the balcony had shut, I sat up, dragged my hands down my face and groaned.
My phone was on the coffee table, and I reached for it, pulling up my messages.
Me: Are you busy? I need to talk to someone.
Dalton: Working in the garage. Tammy took the girls in for breakfast at The Egg and I. Come on over.
Me: Give me a few minutes to get cleaned up.
Dalton: Everything okay?
I blew out a frustrated breath and replied.
Me: No. Nothing is okay.
Dalton: Take a deep breath and I’ll see you in a bit.
An hour later, I was walking into Dalton’s garage. He was under the ’55 Chevy he was restoring.
“How’s it going?” I asked, pulling up a chair.
“This car is a money pit; that’s how it’s going.” He slid out and looked up at me, his smile fading when he saw me. “Dude, you look like hell.”
I rolled my eyes and let out a gruff laugh.
“You need a beer?” he asked, getting up and heading to the small refrigerator he kept out in the garage.
Gaping at him in disbelief, I replied, “It’s not even ten in the morning.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” he said with a wink.
“Nah, I’ll pass, but I’ll take a water if you have one in there.”
Dalton reached in, tossed me a water, then sat beside me. “Talk to me, Aiden. I haven’t seen you look this bad in a long time.”
I stared at the water bottle as I tried to figure out where to start. “Do you think we’re only allowed one love in our lives?”
He stared at me for a moment, then looked away in thought. “One love?”
“Yeah, like God only gives us one person whom we can truly call the love of our lives.”
Dalton focused back on me. “I think God gives us many people we can love, in different ways and in different capacities. Like I love my kids more than anything, but the love I feel for Tammy is different. She is the love of my life, and I know that without a doubt.”
I nodded, continuing to look at the bottle in my hands. “That makes sense.”
“You have feelings for her.”
My eyes shot back up to Dalton. “That obvious?”
“To me. Because I know you, and you’re like a brother to me.
I’ve seen you at your highest and your lowest. It’s okay to have feelings for another woman, Aiden.
Hell, I would be shocked if you didn’t have some sort of feeling for her.
She’s beautiful, smart, loves your kid already, and Hadley loves her… Anyone can see that.”
I rubbed the back of my neck where an ache was blooming. “There’s a problem though.”
“She works for you.”
I laughed. “Okay, thanks for reminding me that there are two problems.”
Dalton leaned back in the chair, crossed his ankles, and motioned for me to go on.
“There is the fact that she’s working for me. And the other issue is the feelings themselves that I’m having.”
“If it’s strictly a physical attraction, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve got needs like everyone else. And you’ve only hooked up how many times since Lisa died? Two? Three, maybe?”
“That’s not it, Dalton.” I swallowed hard, clearing my throat before I tried to explain.
“The first time I ever met Emma, something strange happened. I felt something I’ve never felt before, with any woman.
Hell, I knew I was going to hire her right on the spot.
I was almost desperate to know her. And I can’t tell you how hard I prayed for Hadley to like Emma as we drove over to her dance studio. ”
His brows lifted. “Go on.”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but she made me feel…
alive. I mean, it’s not like she’s the first pretty woman I’ve ever seen or anything.
But this was different. She’s different.
The few times I’ve brushed against her, or offered to help her and we’ve accidentally touched, even in the slightest way, I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
It makes me feel guilty as hell, while at the same time I’m electrified. If that makes sense.”
Dalton leaned forward and rested his arms on his legs. “Why guilty? Because you’re a man and you have feelings for a woman?”
“It’s too soon! And these feelings…I don’t know what they are. I mean, I loved Lisa. Maybe not like I had in the beginning, but I did love and care about her. Yet, what I felt for Lisa doesn’t even compare to this thing with Emma.
“I think about her all the freaking time. She makes me and Hadley dinner every night and then leaves so we can have alone time, and every single time she walks away, I want to ask her to stay. When I’m at work and walking out in the meadows, I feel like I can smell her.
That freaking soap or lotion or whatever the hell she uses that smells like oranges and vanilla, it invades my senses until I literally stop to look around for her.
That’s not normal, Dalton! I didn’t feel that way with Lisa, and that’s not fair to her.
It’s not fair that I would feel like this for another woman whom I hardly even know. ”
“Not fair?” he said with a slight chuckle. “It’s not fair that you could possibly meet another woman and fall in love?”
I gaped at him, shocked. “I’m not in love with her. It’s more like lust.”
“Lust, huh? Well, if you need to get laid, go get laid.”
Shaking my head, I glared at him. “You know it’s not the same thing.”
“I want to know why you don’t think it’s fair that you move on.
Aiden, you and Lisa were not in love at the end, and that’s okay.
You loved her because she was the mother of your child.
You cared for her, you did right by her.
But you weren’t in love. Don’t feel guilty because another woman makes you feel something in here. ”
He pointed to his chest, and I let out a slow breath.
“Last night, I invited her to stay for dinner, and we ate and drank a couple glasses of wine while we watched Suits. She fell asleep on my shoulder… A decent man would have woken her up and told her to head up to her place. Her boss should have done that. Instead, I covered her up because it felt good to have a warm body against me. It was like I craved it. I let her sleep, and I ended up waking this morning with Emma in my arms. When I felt her waking up, I pretended to be asleep, and she snuck off. She left her place right before I did.”
A smile moved across his face. “You fell asleep with her on the sofa last night?”
“Yes! Do you see my problem here?”
“No,” Dalton said, shaking his head. “Have you talked to her about this?”
“God, no! She works for me! Besides, Rose said Emma came from a not-so-great marriage, and from what I can tell by the few things she’s said to me, it’s true. The asshole might’ve even abused her. No—not might’ve. I think he absolutely did. I also think he was in the Marines.”
Dalton snarled his lip. “That sucks if it’s true. Why do you think he was in the Marines?”
I sighed. “Long story. I had Janie at the office run a check on a Ben Middleton from Dallas, Texas, but we can’t find anyone with that name.”
“Middleton is probably her maiden name. If she was in a bad marriage, she wouldn’t want to keep the guy’s name. Hell, she might have changed her name entirely, so he doesn’t find her, if he was abusive, that is.”
Damn it. He was right. “I didn’t even think about that. I need to find out if having Emma in our life puts Hadley in any danger.”
“And you call yourself a cop,” Dalton said, sitting back and crossing his ankles again. “Listen, Aiden, do you honestly think Rose would have let Emma into your home if she thought for a single moment it would put Hadley in danger?”
I sighed. “I wonder if she is using her maiden name again?”
Pulling out my phone, I sent off a quick text to Rose as Dalton spoke again.
“Dude, stop overthinking this thing with Emma. Let it happen if it’s meant to happen.”
I shook my head and stood. “I can’t do that to Hadley. Plus, I’m not ready for anything like that,” I added softer.
My best friend let his shoulders drop and closed his eyes.
When he opened them, he pinned me with a look.
“You’ve got to let the guilt go. Your marriage was over, Aiden.
Lisa flat-out told you she didn’t love you anymore.
It’s not your fault she got cancer and died.
You didn’t fail at the relationship, you fought for as long as you could. ”
My phone buzzed with Rose’s reply. I read it and looked at Dalton. “We should hire Rose. She checked out Emma thoroughly. She does have a restraining order but assures me that all is well.”
“You trust that?”