Chapter Seventeen
EMMA
A VISITOR
The scene before me left me feeling a bit uneasy.
I sat in my car and watched everyone walking into church.
One of the conditions of my job was attending church each Sunday.
Well, it wasn’t a condition, but I knew how much it meant to Hadley, Lance, and Patty.
And Aiden. Nothing said I had to sit with Aiden and Hadley, though. I simply had to be there. Right?
Sighing, I knew that wasn’t true. And I also knew Hadley would be hurt if I didn’t sit with her.
Reaching for my purse, I stepped out of the car and made my way to the church. The place was pretty full, but not everyone was sitting. I knew Aiden and Hadley would be seated, and so would Lance and Patty. Once I saw which side of the pew Aiden was on, I could go to the opposite.
I craned my neck and saw there was an empty spot between Hadley and Patty, as if they were saving it for me. It made my heart melt a little, and I felt guilty for even thinking about skipping church.
I drew in a deep breath and walked down the aisle. When I got to the pew where the Bishop family was seated, I smiled and slipped past Lance and Patty and sat down. Hadley squealed in delight.
“Emma! Where have you been?”
Glancing down to her, I tapped her nose and asked, “Did you practice your piano this morning?”
Hadley nodded and reached for my hand. I tried not to look at Aiden, but he spoke directly to me anyway.
“Are you okay? I mean, is everything okay? You didn’t come back to the house last night.”
My eyes lifted to see the concern in his. I had to admit, I was surprised he’d noticed I didn’t return to my apartment. “Everything’s fine. I decided to stay at the Stanley Hotel for a night. I’ve been wanting to see it.”
He frowned. Before he could ask anything else, I focused on the pastor making his way to the pulpit.
I didn’t hear a word the preacher said. All I could concentrate on was the feel of Aiden’s eyes on me. The few times I glanced his way, he focused on something else. Or maybe it was all in my head. Maybe he wasn’t looking at me at all. Why would he? I was only the nanny.
Trying to push the hurt away yet again, I drew in a slow, deep breath and let it out.
Aiden was right. It was my job to be the nanny.
It was my fault for falling head over heels for Hadley.
My fault for daring to think I might be able to be friends with my boss.
I’d simply have to learn my place. No more dancing, or dinners, or watching movies.
His statement the day before to his mother made it crystal clear where I stood in his eyes.
And that part outside his house, about “just sex.” He’d thought I was…
what? Hoping to kiss him good night? Seduce him, maybe?
I wasn’t sure. But one thing I was sure about—I’d keep my distance as much as I could.
When the service was over, Tammy quickly came and grabbed me, hauling me off to the women’s church circle. It was honestly the last place I wanted to be.
All of the chairs were set up like usual. We all sat down, prayed…and then silence.
I opened my eyes and saw all seven women looking at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Has God not talked to you yet?” Landy asked.
“Um…not yet.”
She rolled her eyes as everyone else sighed.
Tammy got up and sat down on the mat. “I need strength.”
Rose leaned forward. “Oh dear, what now?”
Tammy shook her head and took a deep breath. “Jennifer cut her hair when Dalton was supposed to be watching her. All her hair. She looks like a five-year-old boy now.”
All the women gasped, including me.
“He’s an educated man. Why would he let her have scissors?” Rose asked.
Tammy threw up her hands and let them fall into her lap. “They were the kind for her class! I didn’t think they could even cut paper properly, let alone hair!”
“When did this happen?” I asked.
“This morning, before church. I was taking some time to do devotionals, because you know, Patty is forcing us to do that—”
“I am not forcing you!” Patty insisted as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Mumbling was heard around the room as we all looked at her and agreed with Tammy.
Patty huffed. “Well, forgive me for trying to grow you closer to God.”
Cara rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure God is okay if we do devotionals on a Tuesday. Say, around eight at night when nothing good is on TV. Not Sunday morning at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“It puts us in the mood for church!” Patty declared.
“The mood for church?” Shannon asked. “It’s worship day…shouldn’t we already be in the mood?”
I pressed my lips together and tried not to laugh. On second thought, I was really glad Tammy made me come this morning.
Patty faced me. “Did you worship, Emma?”
“Me?” I asked, pointing to myself.
They all looked back and nodded.
“Yes. You,” Patty said.
“Well, I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t get much sleep last night. So I sort of slept in till I had to get up and get ready.”
Shannon sighed. “Since we’re confessing, I haven’t done devotionals in two weeks. It’s just too crazy with the girls. This morning, they decided to pour laundry detergent on the floor to make it look pretty and green.”
“I’m pretty sure you have a bit of the devil in those two girls of yours,” Landy stated, and Shannon nodded in agreement.
“Fine. Since we’re confessing,” Cara echoed. “I haven’t done devotionals in three weeks. I’ve been getting up early and doing body pump class at the community center.”
“I knew you looked even more toned!” Tammy stated.
Patty tossed her hands in the air and looked around the circle. “Did anyone do them this morning?”
Not one of them raised their hands. Even Patty.
“Wait, you didn’t raise your hand. Have you not been doing them, either?” Cara asked.
Patty chewed her lip. “Emma, you sure you don’t want to take the mat yet?”
The door to the room opened suddenly, and we all turned to see a man standing there. My heart jumped to my throat when I saw him. Standing, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
“May I help you?” Tammy asked.
His eyes met mine. “I need to speak with Emma. It’s important.”
Everyone turned and looked at me. Rose came to my side and took my hand in hers. “Is that him?” she whispered. I knew she meant Ben.
I shook my head. “No. It’s his brother. I’ll be fine.”
Taking a deep breath, I walked toward Bill and then passed him. He excused himself to the ladies and I heard his footsteps behind me.
The second we were outside, I spun around and glared at him. “How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t hard, Emma. It’s what I do for a living.”
My entire body shook as I glanced around. “What do you want, Bill?”
“My mother died two weeks ago.”
Jerking my gaze back to him, I stared with my mouth gaping. “What?” I whispered.
“She had cancer but didn’t tell any of us.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “She didn’t tell anyone? Not even Ben Senior?”
He shook his head.
“I’m so sorry, Bill. Are you okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah. We’re all doing as well as can be expected. Still pretty shocked.”
“I can imagine. But you didn’t have to come all the way up here to tell me.” A thought hit me, and I took a step back. “Did you tell him where I was?”
“No. He hasn’t asked me to locate you. Yet. I think he might be dating someone new, I’m not sure. We don’t really talk anymore, Emma. Even if he did ask me, I wouldn’t help him.”
My stomach turned, not because he was dating someone, more because I knew what a monster he was, and the poor girl he was dating didn’t.
I had a feeling Bill had always suspected something was wrong, but Ben was his older brother. His hero and the man he looked up to. He turned a blind eye—just like the rest of the family. Including my own mother. It wasn’t until the divorce that the truth came out.
“I hope she finds out his true colors quicker than I did.”
Bill looked away for a moment, then back to me. He cleared his throat and said, “I came because I found this in Mom’s things. It was a letter written to you. Ben didn’t see it; I was the one who found it. I wanted you to have it.”
Staring down at the paper, I wanted to tell him I didn’t want it. But Ben’s mom, Lee, had always been sweet to me. There were times I felt like she wanted to tell me to leave, but she could never bring herself to do so.
I sighed and reached for the letter. Bill had just suffered an unexpected loss, and the last thing I wanted was to cause him more grief. “I’m not sure what your mom could possibly want to say to me.”
My voice held a hint of anger. Bill gave me a knowing look.
“Thank you anyway for bringing it to me. You could have mailed it.”
“I know, but I wanted to see how you were doing. You know, check on you.”
I lifted my brow. “Check on me?”
It was then I saw Aiden. Surprisingly, he was still at the church. He’d just walked outside and was now standing behind Bill, looking at the two of us. I pulled my gaze away and motioned for Bill to walk with me, away from the wandering eyes of the church.
We walked for a few seconds in silence before he spoke, his voice low.
“I knew, Emma. I mean…I was pretty sure it was happening. I asked Ben about it, and he told me to mind my own business. I knew what he was doing, and I didn’t do anything, and for that, I’m so sorry.
Maybe I was in denial or…hell. I don’t know.
Afraid it was something in our blood because of how our daddy beat our mother. ”
Stopping, I turned to face him, shock overwhelming me. “What?”
He kicked at something on the ground. “Our father used to beat Mom pretty badly. I was little and don’t remember a lot of it.
Ben tried his best to hide it from me, keep me away from our dad.
Ben took a few beatings when he got older, trying to keep Mom safe.
By the time I figured out what was going on, it had stopped.
For a while, anyway. I guess it started up again after I left for school, but Mom never said anything to us. At least not to me.”
My hand covered my mouth as I attempted not to throw up.