17. Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Ellie
M y heart's pounding, my lungs burning, but I can't let Marcus drive away—not without hearing me out. So I sprint across Jake’s freshly mowed lawn without shoes, ignoring the odd sensation of dewy grass between my toes.
"Marcus!" I call out. My chest tightens, a cocktail of nerves and irritation.
He doesn’t slow down, just unlocks his car with an aggressive jab of his finger on the key fob. The beep seems to echo my frantic heartbeat.
"Marcus, stop! We need to talk about this," I insist, catching up to him just as he yanks open the driver’s door.
"Talk? Now you want to talk?" His brown eyes are like a furious storm, and I can see that his protective big brother mode has shifted into something darker, more hurt. "You didn’t seem interested in communication when you were sneaking around with my best friend. How could you do this?"
"Please, just listen to me," I plead, feeling that familiar Carter stubbornness mixing with a dose of anxiety. I've faced down rowdy third graders with more grace than I'm managing now.
"Ellie, do you even realize what you're doing?" he spits out, towering over me in both height and indignation.
I cross my arms. "I don't answer to you about my relationships. I'm not a child anymore. I make my own choices. My own mistakes.” I try to match his intensity. I refuse to shrink back; I can't let him steamroll me.
"Choices?" He scoffs, raking a hand through his sandy hair. "This isn't about you being an adult. It's about loyalty. It's about not crossing lines."
"Your lines," I shoot back, my hands finding my hips as I channel every ounce of sass I’ve got. "Not mine."
"You can't date my friends. It's not right."
"And you can't control my life." I step into his path, forcing him to stop. To look at me. "I care about Jake. And whether you like it or not, I'm going to see where this goes. Your overprotectiveness is suffocating. I'm not Daddy's little girl anymore. I'm a woman who can make her own decisions about who she dates."
His face contorts and he leans closer. "Fine. Cross all the lines you want. All I’ve ever wanted is to look out for you. But if you're hell bent on doing this, if you continue your little fling with Jake, you lose me."
I’m starting to lose steam because he looks completely serious. Now I’m the one who is hurt. He wouldn't turn his back on me over this. Would he? “Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum right now? That’s completely not fair and you know it." I gape at him in disbelief, my heart constricting painfully in my chest. "You're the one being unreasonable and causing drama here, not me and Jake."
His voice is low, the ultimatum hanging between us like a heavy curtain. "You don't get it. When this blows up, and it will, I'm going to be stuck in the middle. Forced to choose between my sister and my best friend. Is that what you want?"
Tears prick at my eyes, hot and stinging, but I blink them back furiously. I refuse to let him see how much his words have shaken me, how deeply they cut. How can he have so little faith in me, in my judgment? "What I want is for you to trust that I know what's best for myself. Jake and I have a real connection." My voice is thick with unshed tears, but I force the words out past the lump in my throat.
I search his face, my gaze roving over the familiar planes and angles, hoping to see some flicker of understanding or acceptance. But his expression remains hard and unyielding, his eyes cold and distant. "I'm looking out for both of you. If you two crash and burn, it's not just your feelings on the line—it's our family, our friendships. Everything gets messy."
"I can deal with messy because I…” My voice wobbles despite the steel in my spine. "I think I love him."
Marcus only frowns. "Love? Does he even feel the same way? Have you thought about that?" His question is a punch to the gut, leaving me momentarily winded. I open my mouth, but no words come out.
"Ellie..." His voice trails off, the anger subsiding into something resembling concern, but I don't need his worry—I need his blessing, or at least his acceptance. “I love Jake. He’s a great guy. But he’s not the guy he once was. Before…You know about his wife?”
I nod, my stomach sinking because I can sense where Marcus is going with this.
"Jake's been through hell, and you want to help him," Marcus says, his voice dipping into an almost compassionate register. "I get it. But he's not ready, Ellie. Not for something serious, or even casual. You need to face reality. He's going to break your heart. And I won't stand by and watch that happen. So cross your lines, but you’ll be doing it without me around.”
With that, he turns on his heel and yanks open the car door. I stand there stunned, my feet rooted to the pavement as he gets in and slams it shut behind him with a resounding finality. As the engine roars to life and he pulls away, I'm left standing by the curb, my heart aching with the weight of his words and the uncertainty of what comes next.
He’d really disown me for following my heart? And…Could he be right about Jake? He’s known him a lot longer than I have.
I turn to look at Jake’s open doorway, pressing my hand to my stomach. I thought I’d be coming over today to tell him about our baby, but now I can imagine he’s not in the best mindset to hear such life-changing news. And, as much as I hate to admit it, Marcus’ words keep ringing in my ears: He's going to break your heart.
I enter Jake's apartment to find him sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. At the sound of the door closing behind me, he lifts his head, eyes shadowed. There's a heaviness in his posture that makes my heart sink. The air feels thick, and I know we're teetering on the edge of something irreversible.
"How did it go?" His voice is rough, gravelly.
“Um, you know how Marcus is so…not great.”
He stands and lets out a sigh that ripples through the room. "I knew this was a mistake. I never should have—"
"Don't say that." I place my hand on his arm, heart pounding. "Please don't regret this. I don't. Not for a second."
He searches my face, eyes flickering with doubt. "Ellie, I can't come between you and your brother. Family is too important."
My thoughts drift to the little baby just barely beginning to grow inside me and it feels like something too big to try to contain any longer. “I agree. Family is important. And…uh…you should know that I’m—”
"We need to talk about this...about us."
My pulse races, but I force my feet to move closer, standing before him with a resolve I can barely muster. "I agree. I know what Marcus said, but—"
"Marcus has a point," Jake interrupts again, his brown eyes finally meeting mine, guarded and shuttered like windows against a storm. His words are heavy, but I refuse to buckle.
"Whatever he thinks doesn't change how I feel about you," I press on.
He moves away from my touch. "It's not just about your brother. It's...everything." Jake's voice is weary, the words dragging like chains. "I'm not sure I'm ready for any kind of relationship. I’ve been fighting it, going back and forth. The truth is I do feel something for you, but I’m not ready. This all feels too soon for me, and I know my resistance has hurt you. I don’t want to keep doing that."
My nose stings and tears are pooling in my eyes beyond my control. Jake touches my cheek, wiping a tear away, but I step back and turn my head. “I hear you,” I say, trying to keep my voice clear even as everything inside me is crumbling. I have no idea what this means for my baby. Will I have to raise this child alone? Because if he’s not ready for a relationship, I can’t imagine him being ready to have another child.
I’ll take a few days to recover before telling him but…I’ll give him a clear out and let him know he can be involved in the child’s life but won’t be expected to raise the child with me.
Jake is standing like a statue, staring out the open doorway. “I’m sorry.”
I nod and then I just leave. What else is there left to say?
Each step back to my place is heavier than the last. By the time I reach my apartment, the dam breaks, and tears stream down my face, hot and relentless. Once I’m inside, I collapse against the door. I fumble for my phone through blurry vision. I know Danielle is spending time with a man she’s dating today, and I hate to interrupt, but I just can’t…I can’t handle any of this right now.
"Danielle," I choke out when she answers.
"Ellie? What's wrong?"
"Can you come over?" My voice cracks, betraying the turmoil within. “Please, I need you to come over.”
“Oh my god, of course. I'll be there as soon as I can," Danielle replies, her words wrapping around me like a warm embrace.
"Thank you," I manage before ending the call, sliding down to the floor as sobs rack my body.
I wrap my arms around my stomach, cradling the future within me. This wasn't the plan I’ve always envisioned. I saw myself with a loving husband and a united family, not this solitary path shadowed by what-ifs and maybes. But as I sit here, drowning in despair, I know that this baby, my baby, will never lack for love. Because no matter what, this baby will get all the love I can give.
"Everything's going to be okay," I whisper to myself, to the little life inside me. "I've got you, and you've got me. That's enough."