16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Jake
I tear open another box, grabbing a stack of Charlotte’s clothes and taking it to her room in our duplex. Feels like an eternity since I’ve been here. The contractors did a good job fixing the roof and water damage. It’s exactly the same but feels completely different somehow. Ellie is still just on the other side of the wall but she feels miles away.
Hell, maybe it’s time to move out of this place. Charlotte likes the ranch better anyway, and we can make the longer commute work one way or another. She’s staying with Mia and Elijah this weekend, and I worry when she gets back Monday she’ll want to see Ellie. She’ll invite Ellie to dinner and hang out with her outside of school. I know my sweetheart wants Ellie to be a mother figure but that’s unfair to Ellie, especially since I can’t get my head and heart right.
That scare with Marcus coming to the ranch was a wake up call. I’ve been playing with fire too long. Even if I have feelings for Ellie, acting on them will ruin relationships.
I think I will look into moving, as much as it hurts to close this chapter with Ellie.
A knock startles me from my thoughts. For a second, I consider ignoring it, but duty or maybe curiosity nudges me to answer. I yank open the door and there she is—Ellie Carter. Of course it's her. My heart flips as my eyes can’t help but scan the simple jeans and sweater she’s wearing. This woman looks beautiful in everything.
Jesus, this is déjà vu. The day she moved in next door, she showed up with a casserole too, all bubbly laughter and sass. The memory slams into me with unexpected force; her smile, that cute glint in her eye had me hooked without even knowing it. Now her eyes are wary, searching my face for a reaction.
I swallow hard, fighting the surge of longing her presence brings. "Hey." My voice comes out gruffer than intended.
Ellie's smile falters for a second before she recovers. "Hey yourself. I, uh, wanted to drop this off. You know, just a neighborly hello."
I stare at the casserole like it's a ticking bomb. Part of me wants to retreat, the other part is already picturing us on the couch together, her head on my shoulder.
Get a grip. I ended things for a reason.
Still, I step aside. "Come in."
She passes by me, the faint scent of her perfume—jasmine, I think—nearly undoes my resolve. As I close the door behind us, I admit to myself, if to no one else, how much I've missed her these past few weeks.
The best part of my days? Those afternoons I managed to sneak off work early, picking up Charlotte from her tutoring sessions. It’s those moments, catching sight of Ellie, that have kept me going. Seeing her now, standing in my half-unpacked living room, stirs a desire I keep trying to bury.
I clear my throat, watching her set the casserole on the kitchen counter. "You didn't have to do that."
"Found myself making too much again," she says.
I doubt that, but I just tell her, “Thanks.”
Ellie fusses with the dish, avoiding my gaze. "I just thought...Well, it seemed like a good excuse to stop by. See how you're settling back in. Everything in my apartment seems to be repaired, so I hope they got everything in yours, too."
I nod and fold my arms, leaning against the counter. The quicker we get this over with, the better. Because the longer she stays, the quicker my resolve will crack. "How's work? Your class?"
"Good, good." Her fingers twist around each other. "Busy. The kids are gearing up for the science fair. And you?”
"Always something new," I say, though my mind isn’t on work. Ellie's fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, a telltale sign she’s got more on her mind than this small talk.
We lapse into silence. Ellie bites her lip. She's working up her courage to say something—probably about us. About her feelings. The ones I can't reciprocate, no matter how much I might want to.
"Jake, I—"
"Don't." I cut her off, unable to bear hearing her confession. The pain in her eyes makes me feel like the lowest bastard on earth. I lower my gaze. I’m not trying to hurt her; I just don’t know if we should get into this kind of conversation. I’m feeling too weak today.
"Please, just listen." Her voice wavers. "I know you think this is a bad idea. That we'll end up hurting each other, or that Marcus will never forgive us. I admit that us being together has the potential to be messy at first…” Ellie takes a shaky breath, inching closer. "I'm tired of pretending I don't care about you. I care about you. A lot. More than I think I’ve cared about any man.”
Her words strike deep, awakening a yearning I've tried so hard to bury. There’s also a mess of emotions in me—fear, hope, a fierce protectiveness. And under it all, an affection for Ellie that's damn near impossible to ignore. I stay silent, flexing my jaw and feeling torn between protecting my heart and giving in.
She's standing there, all vulnerability and open heart, and damn if it doesn't make me want to protect her from everything—including myself.
She inches closer. "Jake?" Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it crashes into me like a wave. My name on her lips is both a plea and a challenge. “I need to know if it's just me, or if you feel it too."
I can’t find any words because I’m afraid of what I’ll say if I open my mouth; I’m afraid I’ll confess that I never want to let her go.
She reaches for my hand, her fingers brushing against my calloused palm. I tense at her touch, heat flaring through my body.
"Say something," she whispers. "Please, Jake."
I meet her gaze, drowning in eyes the color of rich caramel. The love shining there strips away my defenses, leaving me bare. Vulnerable. The walls crumble, and I'm helpless against the force of my need. My longing. Before I can stop myself, I crush Ellie in my arms and capture her mouth. I cup her face with my rough hands, the ones that have fought fires and clung to life, and now they're clinging to her. I kiss her hard, cutting off any chance of backpedaling or second-guessing.
She gasps, then melts into me. Her lips part, tongue sliding against mine. I groan at the taste of her, familiar and intoxicating, as desire ignites through my veins.
Her arms wind around my neck, her body pressing against mine, and I'm lost to the sensation of her—something uniquely Ellie that's addictive as hell. My hands roam over the curves of her body, remembering every inch. Ellie arches into my touch with a soft moan and all I want is to be buried deep inside her.
My hands slide down to her ass and hoist her up. Her legs lock around my waist, and I carry her to my bedroom. The door slams shut behind us with a thud that echoes my racing heart. Clothes become casualties in our path to the bed—fabric tearing away from skin in frantic movements. Ellie tumbles onto the bed, gazing up at me with eyes dark with longing. Covering her naked body with mine, my tongue finds a nipple. I take my time pleasuring each mound and try to get my fill.
She lifts her hips, my cock brushing her opening. "Jake..." She moans, and it's the best damn sound I've ever heard. "I need you."
My cock twitches; she has no fucking idea what those words do to me. But I need her hot and bothered. I need her squirming and close to the edge.
Dropping to my knees, I part her legs, revealing her to me in all her glory. My mouth finds her center, and it's like coming home. The taste of her is intoxicating, a blend of sweetness and arousal that I savor with every flick and suck.
My fingers grip her thighs, thumbs circling the tender skin as I work her over with my tongue, committed to drawing out every shiver, every whimper. Ellie cries out, her hands fisting in my hair. I groan against her, lowering one hand to grasp myself because the need is too strong. This woman turns me on too much and always makes me lose my sanity.
Her moans grow frantic, hips rolling against my mouth. I slide two fingers inside, crooking them just so. I lap at her juices, grinning like a fool. When I feel her teetering on the edge, I crawl up her body, positioning myself at her entrance. With no more hesitation, I thrust inside her welcoming heat in one smooth stroke.
"Jake!" Ellie screams, nails biting into my back.
We move together in a rhythm, her pussy clenching around me so damn perfectly I nearly lose it right then and there.
"Ellie," I grunt, thrusting harder, rougher, driven by the sheer force of what's been building inside me. With every plunge, I claim her mouth, our kisses a mirror of our bodies—desperate and consuming.
Her back arches and then I can feel her shatter, her orgasm triggering my own. I bury myself to the hilt, spilling deep inside her in three strong spurts. She continues to move her hips, milking my cock for everything I have left.
I kiss her, desperate for us to stay like this for the rest of my days. But I eventually pull out, bundling her into my arms, her head resting on my chest. The afterglow wraps around us like a cocoon, and for a moment, I let myself believe in this—us—whatever it is we're doing here.
The cotton sheets cling to our skin, warm and slightly damp from the heat we've generated between us. My chest is a mess of emotions, each one wrestling for dominance over the other. Love, lust, guilt—they're all there, but it's the afterglow that softens their edges, blurring them into something almost like peace.
I’m so relaxed and content that the truth tumbles out for the first time. “This scares the hell out of me.”
Ellie touches my scruffy cheek but doesn’t yet speak, giving me time to gather my thoughts.
“Caring for someone again,” I continue, almost feeling like I’m having an out of body experience. “Risking losing you, or Charlotte getting hurt." I swallow against the lump in my throat. "Sarah's death broke me. I don't know if I can survive that kind of pain again."
“What…What happened to her?” Ellie asks softly. “If you’re comfortable telling me. If not, I understand.”
I take a deep breath, fighting my mind not to slip back to the day and to simply give Ellie the facts. “She was driving home from work and it was storming. I don’t know what happened—an animal, the tires slipping on the road. But she ended up swerving off the road and crashing the car. I was one of the first to arrive on the scene, but she…” I clear my throat. “I couldn’t save her. And I should’ve picked her up from work. I knew it was storming. I should’ve driven there to pick her up.” I wipe a tear away and try to angle my head away, but Ellie gently turns my head to look at her.
“You didn’t know. It’s not your fault, and you did everything you could to save her.”
I shake my head. “I’ve tried to tell myself that, but it always feels like a lie.”
Ellie snuggles in, holding me close and I release a soft breath. Just her presence settles me.
“I used to see Sarah everywhere,” I say. “In Charlotte's smile, in the empty side of the bed, in the quiet moments when I forget she's gone. I’ll always see her in Charlotte, but everywhere else…I’m starting to see you. And the thought of replacing her —" My throat constricts around the words, "—it feels like I'd be betraying her memory."
"Jake," she says, her hand now pressing over my heart. "Loving someone new isn't betrayal. It doesn't mean you loved Sarah any less. It just means your heart's big enough to love more than once. There’s room enough for both of us. And I would never try to replace her. She’s part of you and I wouldn’t ever want you to hide that."
Her reassurance should feel like a balm, but instead, it's an ache. "And what if it doesn't work? What if I screw this up and Charlotte gets hurt again? What if Marcus shuts both of us out of his life?" The fears spill out before I can stop them, raw and unfiltered.
"Then we'll handle it together," Ellie says firmly. "One step at a time."
My walls, the ones I've spent years fortifying, crumble a little at her conviction. Is there a chance at real happiness, if I can set aside my ghosts and broken pieces to make room for Ellie? I let myself imagine it, a future where the shadows are chased away by her relentless optimism.
As I’m letting everything percolate and work its way through me, Ellie gets fidgety. She keeps biting her lips and making timid eye contact. "Um, Jake, I need to tell you something—"
A sharp knock rattles the front door. The sound slices through the serenity of the room, and Ellie's sentence cuts off abruptly.
I’m not sure who it is, but I better check. I press a quick, hard kiss to Ellie’s forehead before untangling myself from her embrace. Throwing on some pants, I pad barefoot across the cool hardwood floor of the hallway.
The knocking grows more persistent. “Hold on,” I call out. What the hell is this person’s problem?
Annoyed at the interruption, I swing the door open.
Marcus.
His face is a storm of fury, lines twisting and colliding over his features. For a split second, I'm frozen, my mind scrambling for some explanation that won't shatter the fragile peace I just found with Ellie. I take a breath because there’s no way he knows Ellie is in my room, right? He must be pissed about something else.
I open my mouth to greet him, but he speaks before me, his words laced with an edge I’ve never seen in him.
“You fucking asshole,” he bites out.
The words immediately spike my adrenaline. And my defenses, because I’m not ready to admit anything. This could be a different misunderstanding. Please let this be a different misunderstanding.
I cross my arms against my bare chest and give him a frown, feigning ignorance. “Harsh words. And I don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about.”
He scoffs. “So you’re continuing to bullshit me? Me! I’ve been there through everything with you. When you first started firefighter training and were so stressed you couldn’t sleep, and I came over every fucking night to hang out and help you get your mind off work. And when Sarah passed, who took care of your daughter for months while you were grieving?” He shoves me back, stepping into my apartment.
I squeeze my arms against my chest now as protection, my heart beating into my throat and simultaneously sinking to my feet. Fuck, how did he find out?
He holds up his index finger. “I asked for one goddamn thing that was a dealbreaker— don’t break my trust by crossing boundaries.” He drops his hands, balling them into fists. “Ellie’s lip gloss. At your ranch. You think I wouldn't recognize it eventually? I watched her use it. You can’t buy it locally; she gets it fucking shipped in.”
My throat tightens. The damn lip gloss. A small, meaningless thing was all it took to bring us all to ruin.
The fight leaves him a moment and he looks deflated. “Jake…you hooked up with my sister?” There's a tremor in his voice, the kind that comes from being sucker-punched by reality.
I lower my gaze before speaking. Why am I bullshitting him? He deserves the truth. “Yes,” I manage to say.
He staggers back a step like he wasn’t ready to hear me admit it even though he already knew. "Christ, I can't believe you two." He scrubs a hand over his face, and I watch as the brotherly concern I've always known morphs into something icy and instant. "I thought you were my best friend. That you would respect boundaries and not use my sister."
"Use her?" I say, incredulous. “I’m not using Ellie.”
His jaw flexes. “So you two are in a relationship behind my back? For how long?”
I stammer for a second. “Well…we’re not dating just…”
“Right. So you’re fooling around with my sister and then…tossing her aside? That’s called using someone.”
“I’m not fucking using her,” I say, raising my voice. I want to tell him everything—the way Ellie looks at me, how she laughs, the softness in her eyes that makes me feel like a man who isn't just a walking collection of scars and regrets. But I’m struggling to find the words to lay my heart bare.
Marcus has a point. A casual relationship can look a lot like using someone. But there’s no way that describes what I have with Ellie. So…am I saying I want a relationship with her?
My words fail me, the silence between us growing into a chasm.
He moves closer, inches away, to scowl at me. “Cut it off. Now . Whether you’re calling it a fling or whatever, end it and maybe one day far, far in the future we’ll all laugh about this. But only if you stop seeing my sister today. If you don’t, I’ll never be able to forgive either of you. It will ruin my relationship with her.”
I stare at Marcus, completely at a loss. I would never be able to forgive myself if my actions hurt Ellie’s bond with her brother. And Marcus’ friendship is one of the most important parts of my life, a constant through good times and bad. I've jeopardized everything.
I hear heavy footsteps walking down the hallway. Marcus and I both glance over as Ellie appears, dressed in her jeans and sweater. Her arms are crossed and she’s glaring at her brother.
I didn’t think Marcus could look at me any harder, but somehow his expression hits an entirely new level of ice and pain. “Fucking unbelievable,” he mutters. He spins and heads out the door, Ellie hot on his heels.
I fall onto the couch and hold my head in my hands. I feel like the scum of the earth, betraying Marcus like this. And even though I sucker-punched him, he’s still giving me an out. Which choice do I pick?
End things with Ellie and save her relationship with her brother.
Stay with Ellie and ruin things with Marcus, risking future hurt and pain.
Fuck.