Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Noah
Wow, she takes my breath away every time I see her.
Just being Tori’s friend is getting harder every time I see her.
It was easier when I didn’t see her for years.
I could lock the idea of her away in a box in my mind, only opening it when I felt strong enough.
But being around her, hearing her laugh, looking at her, it’s growing increasingly harder to lock the idea of her away.
I’m trained to have control, patience, assess a situation before acting, but all that goes out the window when it comes to her.
I’d devour her here right now if I could.
“You look beautiful, Tor,” I say as I walk toward her.
“You scrub up pretty good too,” she says, stroking my arm, but she quickly retreats as if realizing what she did. “Where’s Jack and Ria?”
“Probably at the bar. All four girls decided to pitch a fit about something. Once they were all asleep in the hotel room, Jack’s parents ushered us out. Said they could handle it. I don’t know how Jack and Ria do it.”
“Me either,” she says quietly, her face falling, and then I realize how insensitive I am, talking about babies.
“I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about them.” I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
She looks me in the eye. “Don’t be silly. The world doesn’t stop because I lost a baby. Besides, I’ve healed. I’ve made my peace with it all. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” I question.
“Yes, babies aren’t on the cards for me, and I’m okay with that.”
I look at her in confusion. “What, never?”
She shakes her head. “No, that dream died a long time ago. My career, that’s what I’m focusing on now, I’m happy, Noah, I promise.”
I decide not to push the conversation. Her words hurt more than I thought they would because all I had dreamed of was a life and a family with her, but this isn’t the time or place to try and discuss them.
She tugs my hand and begins walking, taking me with her. “Come on. It’s a party. Let’s go enjoy ourselves. I hear they have poker.”
I won both games of poker, sank three shots of whiskey, and now we are sitting around a fire pit, us guys smoking cigars while the girls drink more pink champagne, listening to the DJ, who has been playing on the top deck.
The yacht is incredible. It can sleep ten and has a full staff.
Brad and Gabby are staying here tonight.
They didn’t want to do the traditional sleeping apart the night before, much to Gabby’s mom’s dismay.
They said they waited long enough to be together; why spend any more time apart than necessary?
I understood their reasoning. If I ever had the chance to have Tori in my life, I’d never want to be away from her, but it’s clear from our conversations this evening that we are leading two different lives and going two separate paths.
Maybe some things, no matter how badly we want them, just aren’t meant to be.
It’s been a beautiful evening full of laughter and love, but my focus has been on Tori.
I think I believe her when she says she’s happy.
She carries herself with a new confidence she didn’t have before, and it only makes me yearn for her more.
There are so many unfinished conversations and moments between us.
I wonder if we cleared the air, said what we needed to say, finished what we tried to start, that maybe, if we got it out of our systems, we, or more to the point, I, could move on.
The DJ announces we have one hour left on the yacht, and it’s time to party. Pitbull sounds out of the speakers, and everyone is on their feet, heading to the main deck, where people have started dancing.
The DJ’s voice booms once again through the speaker, startling me.
“Where are the future Mr and Mrs Russo?”
The crowd cheers and whistles. I follow the noise and watch as Brad lifts Gabby onto his shoulders. She leans down to kiss him. I’m so happy for them, but a part of me can’t help but feel a little envious of what they have. Gabby pops a bottle of champagne, spraying it over the crowd.
“Now it’s a party,” Ali screams. She climbs onto a table, dancing away.
“Oh God, no,” Tori yells over the music.
I follow her line of sight, and I laugh when I spot Harry climbing up beside Ali.
He’s wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, his cigar hanging out of his mouth, and he’s started to unbutton his shirt.
The crowd screams and cheers when Ali starts dancing around him as if he were a pole.
I lean into Tori and shout to be heard. “They really are the male and female version of each other, aren’t they?”
She beams. “They’re soulmates.”
“Come on, let’s dance,” Tori yells, taking my hand and moving us closer to the main part of the crowd.
I forgot what a good dancer Tori is. She rolls her body and turns, backing up into me.
My hands find her waist, and we move together as we get lost in the music.
I forget where I am; all I see, all I can feel is her.
When she rotates her hips against my cock, not once, not twice, but three times, my hands glide over the curve of her hips down her thighs and back up.
She repeats the movement, covering her hands over mine that are now splayed across her stomach.
I move my mouth near her ear, “If you keep doing that, darlin’, we’re going to have a problem.” I nip her earlobe, and she winces. She turns to face me, her hooded, buzzed eyes lock with mine, and my gaze falls to her plump lips as she wraps her arms around my neck.
“What kind of a problem? Do you want me to stop?” she asks, grinning.
“Tori,” I warn, and she looks at me with angelic eyes as if she hasn’t just turned my cock into an iron rod.
“Yes, Noah.” The way she purrs my name has me growling.
“You’ll regret this tomorrow. You don’t want this. Us.” I remind her.
“What if we just lived in the moment for once. I’m tired of worrying. Can’t we just do something without it meaning something? I wanna live in the moment with you, Noah.”
She’s right. What if we just lived in the moment? Life is for living, after all. Why am I denying her when I want this just as much as she does? I can do a casual thing with her, right?
I glance around the crowd, making sure that everyone is thankfully busy with their other halves. I drag Tori through the crowd to a narrow staircase. We race down it, hand in hand, like two giddy teenagers.
“In here,” I say, giving one quick look around the cabin. I don’t bother with the lights. There’s enough light pouring in through the blind-covered windows to give the room a soft glow. I waste no time, pinning her to the cabin wall.
“What are we doing here, darlin’.” I close my eyes, bracing myself for her to realize the error she’s made and give her the opportunity to walk away, but it doesn’t come.
Instead, she wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me flush to her.
I know this will only be a moment before she’s gone again.
This is a pattern, a bad habit we keep falling into, but still I have no desire to stop. I know the risk, but I can’t stop, because a part of me clings to the hope that things could be different for us one day.
“We’re living, Noah.” She cups my jaw, and I’m forced to open my eyes and look at her.
“I’m not making any promises for tomorrow, but I can give you tonight,” she admits.
I swallow the heavy lump in my throat, hating her words but appreciating the honesty.
“Do you think you can handle that, Noah?”
I think about her words. Maybe we both deserve to just have a moment to live without worry.
I know having her in my arms will only be temporary, and that I’m only a visitor in hers, but it’s Tori.
I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give me, and maybe this is what I need to be able to move on.
To have a night where she feels like mine, and then I can find a way to go on without her.
I hum, my gaze ping ponging between her eyes that have me hypnotized and her plump lips that are begging to be kissed.
This could be dangerous, and the logical side of my brain is saying I’ll probably get hurt, but the devil on my shoulder, he tells me to do it anyway, and yeah, that fucker wins every time.
Fuck it.
My mouth collides with hers, and I forget the reasons why we shouldn’t be doing this.
I cup her ass, and I moan as I push my tongue between her lips, and she parts them, inviting me in.
I lift her, and she wraps her toned legs around my waist as she weaves her fingers into my hair. The kiss is frantic, messy, desperate, as if we were pouring the last few years of separation and built up tension into it.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I say between kisses.
“Me too, me too.” I carry her to the bed and lay her down, never breaking the kiss.
“Do you have a condom?” she murmurs against my lips, and my stomach drops.
“Fuck. No.” My head falls to her shoulder, and I growl in frustration.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she says. “I’m on the pill. I guess we could do it with—”
I interrupt, hearing the hesitation in her voice. I’m not going to put her in a position she isn’t comfortable with.
“Tor, it’s fine.” I brush my nose with hers, “There are lots of things we can do that don’t require a condom.”
She smiles, and her eyes light up. “Oh yeah?” I give her a quick peck on the lips, and then I stand and begin removing my shirt.
She rests on her forearms and drinks me in, watching my fingers as they undo every button.
I take my time, dragging this out. The room is silent, the music from the top deck echoing into the cabin.
I remove my shirt and lay it on the bed beside her. She eyes me curiously. “I don’t want to wrinkle it.” I give her a wink. “Panties off, Tor.”
She bites down on her bottom lip and lets out a sexy laugh. “I’m not wearing any.”
I let my head fall back and stare at the ceiling. “Fuck,” I moan out.
This woman.
I get onto the bed, never breaking eye contact with her. “Knees up, darlin’.”
She does as she’s told, digging her stiletto heels into the fabric of the bedding.
I lean forward, wrapping my hands around her thighs, and tug her forward.
She yelps as I place her legs over my shoulders and push her dress up, groaning in approval when I find her bare, waxed, her arousal glistening.
“Oh my god, what are you doing?” Tori’s breathless words fill the room.
“I didn’t get a taste last time.” I swipe my tongue through her folds, her pussy fluttering under my touch and she bucks off the bed.
I twirl my tongue over her swollen clit and lap up her arousal. When I push a finger inside her, she moans so loudly I wouldn’t be surprised if they heard her upstairs.
“Oh, baby, you’re soaked,” I groan.
I suck on her clit, and I glance up, my tongue still on her sex, and wink. Her head falls back against the mattress as she whimpers.“You’re too good at that.”
“What, this?” I suck harder on her clit as I add another finger inside her.
“Yes,” she hisses.
The sound of the yacht’s horns startles us both, letting us know that we are close to the dock.
“I’m gonna need you to come for me, darlin’.” I command as I bring my mouth back to her clit.
“If you keep doing that, I’m not going to be long.
” Her hand finds the back of my head, and she holds me in place.
I laugh against her sex and quicken the thrusts of my fingers.
Her legs quiver, and the sting of her heels digging into my back spurs me on.
My fingers go in and out at a piston’s pace, her walls gripping so tightly as she nears the edge.
She pulls at the sheets, seeking leverage, something to hold onto.
I slide my free hand, intertwining our fingers as her orgasm hits.
She squeezes my hand so tightly I lose all feeling as I work her through her orgasm.
Her back arches, and the sexiest moans fall from her lips and echo off the walls of the cabin.
When she’s finished, I slide my fingers out of her and gently place her legs down, and stand above her, focusing on her as I push my soaked fingers into my mouth and suck them clean.
“Holy shit.” She gasps.
I pull her up to standing and press my mouth to hers, letting her tongue dance with mine, giving her a taste of herself.
“That was—” she says softly when I pull away, knowing we need to get off the yacht soon.
“Perfect, you’re perfect, Tor,” I finish her sentence.
She reaches for the waistband of my pants, but I stop her. “We don’t have time.”
“What about you?” she asks.
“Hopefully, we’ll have a tomorrow.”