21. Leila
Leila
“ A re you sure you’re okay with Kaia hanging out for a few hours? I can see if Kelsey minds watching her.”
Kristen tsks at me as she plucks a bright-eyed Kaia from my arms. “Tell Mommy to have fun with Daddy, sweet girl. You and Aunt KK have chaos to cause this morning.”
I choke on a laugh. “Please tell me you’re good with this, again.”
She tucks my daughter to her chest, the gentlest of smiles gracing her lips.
“I have your number on speed dial. You have mine. Declan knows which trail you guys are taking if he needs to ride out to find you for any reason. We’re just unboxing the nursery for you this morning, and Gavin will swing by later to help move some of the heavier stuff around.
Go have fun. You and Drew both deserve the break. ”
“Thanks, Kristen.”
“Now go before he sends out a search party for you.”
***
I haven’t been on a horse in so many years that I almost laughed in Drew’s face when he suggested we hit the trails this morning.
Not only am I exhausted from packing all my belongings into Drew’s truck last night, but Kaia’s poor little tummy has been tight and gassy since we started adding formula to her feeding routine.
While he was prepping my coffee earlier, I not so subtly questioned his sanity for suggesting I sit on a twelve-hundred-pound animal when I haven’t had more than four hours of sleep.
Now, as I watch him sling a pad and a saddle over the little chestnut gelding’s back, I nearly have to bite my knuckle to keep the appreciative sound in.
Apparently, I don’t silence it too well.
Drew glances over, his backward ballcap sitting low on his brows.
It’s well before midday, and his shirt already sports sweat marks from the hours he’s been out here riding.
When he slipped out of the house this morning with a quick kiss before the sun came up, I knew he was hoping to get some training rides in before the humidity skyrocketed again.
I watch for any indication that his shoulder isn’t up to this, but he’s a grown man.
I try my best to keep out of his way, even if worry eats away at me that he’s overdoing it.
“Like what you see, sunshine?”
“You have no business looking that good when you’re that filthy,” I say before slapping a hand over my mouth in shock. I can’t believe I said that.
I mean, it’s true…but still.
He opens his arms and starts walking toward me, a dangerous smirk on his lips. One I recognize all too well.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn, backing away as quickly as I can without stumbling over the loose gravel.
“Oh, come on, sunshine. Don’t you want a hug?”
Drew shoots forward, grabbing me as I squeal. His arms wrap around me, tucking me into his chest and rocking us side to side as I submit to the sweaty bear hug. His breath tickles my ear, settling something in me as we just sway. I hadn’t realized the tension building in my chest until now.
“If you’d rather watch or just hang out and groom one of the mares, we can do that instead,” Drew says, taking the tension as nerves about riding. Honestly, I can’t pinpoint where the anxious energy is coming from. It’s frustrating when there isn’t a noticeable trigger.
“I want to ride I…I haven’t been on since my dad died. Guess I’m just getting stuck in old feelings,” I say, realizing thoughts of my dad are exactly what has me on edge.
“Wanna talk about it?” he asks as he goes back to readying the horses for us.
I study his nimble fingers as they manipulate the leather straps and buckles on the bridle, working off muscle memory. He doesn’t even have to glance under the gelding’s head. My treacherous thoughts can’t help but slip to other ways those fingers could—
Drew’s rumbling laugh interrupts my imagination. “Penny for whatever thought just went through your head, sunshine? It seems interesting from here.”
I huff an irritated breath as I realize his eyes are firmly on me, a knowing glint in them. Yep, even my thoughts aren’t safe from this man. And, apparently, I’m still a lovesick teenager with wild fantasies about the cowboy down the road.
Clearing my throat, I focus on the two horses in the crossties, effectively shifting our focus back to appropriate—safe—topics. “So, who are the two lucky lads who get to tote us today?”
Drew pats the neck of the bay colt closest to him.
“This little stud is Loki, and I pray he doesn’t decide to live up to his name today.
The little red guy is just called Red. He’s actually Declan’s, but he doesn’t ride this one.
Says he’s too mellow so he just spoils him with too many peppermints instead. ”
I quirk an eyebrow at him. “He does? Or you do,” I ask, nodding to the peppermint wrapper sticking out of his pocket.
“Definitely him,” he says, stuffing the paper deeper. He tightens the girth on Red one more time before unhooking both horses and leading them toward the trail head. “You ready?”
“Yep. Just like riding a bike, right?”
***
Can confirm: horseback riding is not just like riding a bike.
Sure, we’ve kept this little adventure to a walk—well, I have; Drew’s little colt has pranced, jigged, and moonwalked down the path—but my thighs and tailbone are feeling every hoofbeat by the time we circle around the arena.
We’ve mostly ridden in steady silence or Drew’s guidance on how to maneuver Red down the trickier parts of the trail.
His question from earlier still lingers, though, and I finally find the courage to answer it.
“You asked earlier if I wanted to talk about it…about Dad.”
Drew looks over his shoulder at me, his hands and seat steady even as Loki goes on another sideways shuffle. “You guys just don’t mention him much.”
I shrug, suddenly finding interest in the tooling on the saddle horn. “He had that big black mare, the one with the blaze on her face and two white stockings.”
“Delilah,” he says softly, his voice carrying in the afternoon quiet.
“Yeah. He’d pony her off whatever gelding he had at the time, and I’d bounce around on her, all grins and giggles.
That mare even let me use her neck as a slide.
I begged my mother to let me keep her, but she laughed.
Thought it was ridiculous to keep a thousand-pound animal around when she could sell it to fund her habits. ”
Red’s ears flick side to side as his body tenses underneath me, and I realize my legs are gripping his sides with the rise in my own anxiety.
Breathing deep and exhaling through my mouth, I force my muscles to relax while scratching the sweet gelding’s neck with my rein hand. “Sorry, bud,” I whisper.
“She’s living her best life as a retired broodmare in Kentucky.”
My eyes snap up to Drew. “What? But she was sold to some backyard cowboy.”
“Who my dad then threatened before paying double for her. He sent her to a friend’s breeding farm just north of Lexington to keep your mom from knowing. They fell in love with her, bred her twice. Now, she’s a glorified pasture pet that the grandkids ride bareback around the yard.”
I’m not ready for the emotion that takes hold of me, the tears of gratitude that fill my eyes. “But…why?”
“Your dad was one of the good ones, Leila. Anyone with half a brain cell could see how much he loved you, your brother, and that horse. So, making sure all three of you were safe was the only thing that mattered,” he says softly.
As I blink away the moisture, I realize we’ve both come to a stop at a small opening that overlooks the little town where a happy-go-lucky, horse-loving girl thrived.
The town my dad loved more than anywhere else.
Long-forgotten words he used to say fill my thoughts as I watch the quiet streets at the bottom of the hill.
This place’ll be your saving grace, honey bee. Just you wait.
The hardest part of riding is the ground. Just like life. Live it up, Gracie girl.
I’ve long since given up on stopping the tears that roll down both of my cheeks, not bothering to wipe them.
Without another thought, I slip my reins into the other hand and reach for Drew’s.
He takes my hand in his without question, without looking at me.
As I glance at his face, I realize his eyes are misty as well.
“Both our dads always knew, didn’t they? That we’d end up here.”
Drew chuckles. “I doubt they knew we’d end up with a daughter before we got married.”
I shove him gently, but my lips tug up at his jesting. Loki finally settles next to Red, as if he realizes the weight of this moment, these words.
As he relaxes with a full-body sigh, Drew runs a gentle hand along the colt’s black mane, murmuring praise and assurance. “Yeah, Leila Grace. I think we’re exactly where they wanted us to end up.”