Chapter Fifty-Four
The restaurant was extremely busy which meant a small delay between placing our orders and getting the first dish.
Liam asked if I wanted poppadum to start with, but I declined. Much as I loved the red onion and coriander salad that came with it, I didn’t want to be wafting onion fumes.
Why’s that? asked my inner voice.
Yes, why was that? Well, because… because it wasn’t pleasant. That was way.
In case you kiss?
I hadn’t thought about that. But why should Liam kiss me? This was ridiculous. What was going on with my brain and all these sudden thoughts?
‘Another Prosecco?’ asked Liam.
‘Oh, why not,’ I sighed.
I was feeling very mellow having consumed alcohol on an empty stomach. After all the recent events – Peter’s death, his funeral, the scattering of the ashes, putting the house on the market, Hetty’s sudden resurrection from the dead – I could feel myself unwinding faster than a yo-yo in freefall.
This year had been hectic. And while challenges visited everyone, sometimes trials and tribulations happened at a rate that could leave one reeling. Feeling breathless too. And it wasn’t until we stopped chasing our tails that we later realised how exhausted we were.
‘Are you okay?’ asked Liam, as I got to grips with my second glass of wine.
‘Fine,’ I assured. The alcohol was hitting all the right places. ‘Why?’
‘You look tired,’ he said gently.
‘I feel it,’ I admitted.
I also felt a bit pissed. Hopefully our meal would come soon and act as blotting paper.
‘You’ve had a lot to deal with lately.’
I shrugged.
‘Life.’ I shrugged again. ‘What’s that saying?
That it’s a bitch, and then you die.’ I took another sip of my drink.
Lovely. Just like the man sitting opposite me.
God, he was goodlooking. Bloody delicious.
Hm, was that the way to describe a person?
After all, he wasn’t a meal. Although I wouldn’t mind tasting his lips, or sucking–
‘Tomorrow isn’t a given,’ said Liam. ‘Which is why you should make the most of today.’
‘Ish that what you do?’ I slurred.
Careful, Jen. Have some water. Pace yourself.
‘No,’ he admitted. ‘But lately, I’ve been thinking more about that.’
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘Well, I believe that sometimes new people come into our lives to showcase the tricky stuff that’s happening to them. Like a mirror, it reflects back to us, and then highlights the changes needed to be made in our own lives. Take you for example.’
‘Me?’ I said, startled.
‘Yes, you. You’ve had so much to deal with in a short space of time. You are the perfect example of how life can turn on a sixpence – how people in their middle years think they have decades to enjoy retirement, but then it’s snatched away before they’ve even had the golden handshake from work.’
‘I s’pose,’ I said, leaning forward. I cupped my chin in one hand.
Wow, his eyes. They were so green. The colour of moss.
And it wasn’t just the shade but… it was how they made me feel.
Like standing in a quiet forest. Or stepping out into the sunlight after a storm.
I could lose myself in them. And not because I was lost but because, for once, I didn’t need to be found.
What the heck? For heaven’s sake have some bloody water.
‘What ’bout you then?’ I said dreamily. ‘Are you ready to take early retirement and run away to a tropical island with Victoria?’
‘Victoria?’ he said, surprised. ‘No, definitely not.’
‘Why not?’
Possibly I’d just said why wot.
‘Because after a couple of days, a tropical island would be incredibly boring.’
Ah, no mention of the lovely Victoria being boring. Just the island. Although perhaps, after forty-eight hours, it might be a bit blah seeing her wearing just a leaf over her privates and coconut shells as a bra.
‘So where’ – I gestured expansively – ‘would you take yourself off to?’
‘The world is a vast place, Jen. I’d like to explore all of it.’
‘And does’ – I grimaced – ‘Victoria share your dream?’
‘Why are you so interested in Victoria?’ he said, tilting his head.
‘I’m not,’ I said, looking affronted. Yes, you are. ‘Oh, shut up,’ I said crossly. ‘Oh God, not you,’ I apologised. ‘I mean… I meant-’
‘Chicken korma,’ said Ravi. He began unloading a trolley by his side. Each dish was set down with a little flourish. He then made a great show of polishing the plates. ‘Enjoy.’ He shot me a sultry look before departing.
‘I think you have a bit of a fan there,’ said Liam, looking amused.
‘I don’t know why,’ I mumbled. ‘Um, sorry about telling you to shut up. I was actually talking to… er, Peter.’
Liam broke off some naan bread, then dipped it in his sauce.
‘Is that so?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘In which case, Oracle Hetty will be pleased to know she has a potential apprentice.’
‘It’s not like that,’ I mumbled, picking up my fork.
‘I think you’ve had too much Prosecco on an empty tummy. Now let’s tuck in. Life is too short for bland meals and boring conversations, whereas seasoned minds – like seasoned dishes – always leave a lasting taste.’
‘Are you always so… phil… philo… floss-flickle?’ I asked, squinting at him.
Eat, woman. Eat and be quiet.
‘Not really,’ said Liam. He gave a deprecating laugh. ‘Only when it suits me.’
‘Do you believe in the universe?’
Liam looked amused.
‘Er, yes, Jen. Science says it exists.’
‘No, I mean… manifesting and all that malarkey. Alice does. She read a book about cosmic summoning. She reckons you can have romance to order. And look! She’s just had Ben come into her life.’
‘I’m not sure I agree with that premise. That’s just a coincidence. I think, if you want a relationship, then the opening point – however you meet that person – is to cultivate a friendship. And then let that friendship develop. If there is rapport, then it will become evident quite quickly.’
‘You think?’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I mean, take us.’
‘Us?’ I said, nearly dropping my fork.
‘If I wanted to – hypothetically speaking – cultivate a relationship with someone like you, I think it would happen because we have rapport. Despite us meeting only quite recently, I feel like I’ve known you for years.’
‘That’s a really nice thing to say,’ I said, touched.
So… did that mean that Liam wanted to cultivate a relationship with me? Surely not. But… if he did, how did I go about giving him the green light of encouragement? And what about Victoria?
‘You’re a lovely lady, Jen – despite telling me to shut up,’ he joked. ‘And one day, when the time is right, you will fall in love again. And whoever that man is, he will be a lucky guy.’
Right. One day. That man. But not this man. Why had I fleetingly thought otherwise?