32. Bailey
32
Bailey
E than was the one who led the way to the side entrance, also known as the staff entrance. Nolan took up my other side as he and Lachlan walked up the stairs with me. We had three flights to climb, but I didn’t care. It all felt surreal to me, especially now, in the brightness of the lights.
The echo in the stairs brought me out of my thoughts. “Just like old times?” Chase had said to Ethan.
“If it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t catch me dead in this shithole.”
Chase sighed. “That’s what I get for helping the homeless.”
“Rather homeless than a puppet for Daddy. Sure it wasn’t him pulling the strings to harm her? He always hated all of us.” There was a commotion behind us, and I stopped walking to look down the stairs. Chase and Ethan were fighting; it was escalating from words to shoving. When Chase attempted to get a punch in, I flinched.
“Look around, you self-absorbed fucks,” Lachlan shouted. “Is this really the time?”
They stopped, chests heaving. Ethan had Chase by the shirt, and Chase had his hand around Ethan’s neck. As they looked up at me, I said nothing, did nothing, just turned around and kept walking.
Along the way down the hall, I could still hear the party in full swing downstairs. Chase’s room was almost the exact same as I had remembered it, from the large bed, to the couch and bathroom. The large flat-screen TV was new, though.
Everyone shuffled in.
“I’ll run you a bath,” Chase offered.
I sank down onto the couch, leaning forward and holding my head in my hands.
Lachlan knelt in front of me. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were gone sooner,” he said, resting his chin on my knees.
I ran my fingers through his soft blond hair. “Even if you had known I was gone, there’s no way you would’ve known where I was.”
Chase yelled from the bathroom. “Well, then, leave if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Nolan shook his head. “Do we need to permanently separate those two?”
“And let you sell out B, like you did me?” Ethan replied to Chase. “Yeah, right.”
“I didn’t sell you out! Dammit, Ethan, I turned the offer down.” Chase came storming out of the bathroom.
“You’re lying,” Ethan accused.
“This is exactly why I never told you. Just forget about it. Go back to thinking whatever lie helps you sleep at night.” Chase flipped him off.
Ethan left the room, slamming the door behind him. I flinched and Lachlan tightened his arms around me. I put my hand on his back.
Chase went to his closet, paused, then turned around and went to his dresser. He pulled out a sleep shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “Here, Bailey. I’m going to try to shut down the party.”
I nodded. Lachlan moved as I went to the bathroom. “Do you want us to leave?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Can you just wait for a bit?”
“Always,” Lachlan said. He sat down on the couch next to Nolan.
I closed the bathroom door behind me but didn’t latch it. Chase’s bathroom was huge, as was most of his house, and so brightly lit that it hurt my eyes. I walked over to the now-filling tub, lavender bubbles rising within it, and I pulled Nolan’s shirt off me. I threw it on the floor, with my bra and thong, then turned and looked at myself in the mirror.
A cry escaped my throat as I stared at my body.
“Bailey?” Nolan called.
I cleared my throat, trying to push the sobs away. I had done enough of that earlier. “I’m fine.” I decided to rinse the mud off in the shower first, turning around and getting in before turning the water on. I was hit with a blast of cold water before it warmed up. I didn’t have to scrub hard for the marker to wash off my skin, but it did leave a bit of a residue, a ghost of the words lingering.
Once I was washed up, I climbed into the tub. The water burned my cold skin for only a few moments before I settled in and it was comfortable.
Today was so messed up. Between the nearly forgotten notes, the football game, and then…this. Whatever it was. At first, I’d thought it was a hazing, but really, it was a kidnapping, a scare tactic. To be honest, I was getting tired of being scared.
After a few moments, I could hear arguing out in the room. Ethan and Chase, again, Lachlan would jump in here or there, but I never heard Nolan’s voice. I had hurt him today when I admitted to kissing Chase. I knew I had. I shouldn’t have done that.
“It wasn’t Hadley! Fuck, I asked her. Everyone said she’s been here the whole night,” Chase yelled.
Ethan’s voice was deep, low, and menacing, but I couldn’t make out the words.
I pulled the plug and got out, drying off and getting dressed in the clothes Chase had given me.
When I opened the door, Nolan stood up quickly, concern written on his face. I stared at him for a moment, a little surprised to see he had been sitting on the floor just outside the bathroom door.
Ethan looked fifty shades of pissed, Chase seemed bored and indifferent, and Lachlan stood between the two, pinching the bridge of his nose. Everyone was now staring at me.
Nolan picked up my backpack and handed me my cell phone. “Your mom called. I didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure what you wanted us to say.” Nolan wiped his palms down the front of his jeans, then reached up to scratch the back of his neck.
“None of this happened,” I said to all of them. “I don’t want to hear about it again.”
“Fuck, you can’t keep running from shit, Bailey,” Lachlan said.
“Don’t…don’t tell me how to handle it. You don’t know.”
“Then, tell us.”
I shook my head. I would never say anything. “Nolan, can you drive me home?”
“Yes, of course.”
“You can stay here,” Chase offered.
“No. I can’t.” My gaze swung over to Ethan. He stood, arms crossed, waiting for me to address him. “Are you coming back to the farm?”
“Yes.”
“No,” Lachlan cut him off. “The three of us are staying. This gets dealt with now.”
Ethan scoffed. “You two can have your little circle time cuddle corner. I’ve been here long enou—”
Lachlan’s eyes flashed, and even Ethan took a step back. “I’m done. We are done. You two are staying here, and we are working this out.”
Lachlan didn’t frighten me, though. I looked up at Ethan. “Want to come with us?”
He hesitated, eyes shifting between me and Lachlan, then sighed. “I’ll stay.”
I looked down at my phone, seeing the missed texts. Both from Mom, one telling me to answer my phone, and one reminding me to invite friends over for breakfast. “My parents invited the team to breakfast tomorrow, but I didn’t get a chance to ask anyone.”
“We’ll be over in the morning,” Chase said. Ethan glared at him, but he ignored it.
“We have team meet in the afternoon,” Lachlan said. “We can carpool from your place.”
I nodded. I could feel the hostility in the room. Maybe, three years ago, we were the best of inseparable friends, but now…I’d be surprised if they even lasted the night together.
As soon as Nolan and I were in the truck, I called my mom.
“Boo, how are you?” she asked right away.
My lip quivered at the sound of her worried voice. “Good. I’m sorry I missed your call. The music was too loud, I didn't hear.”
“That’s okay,” Mom said.
“Maybe, next time, check your phone every so often,” Dad grumbled. There was a grunt, as if Mom had smacked him in the stomach. I smiled, suddenly feeling homesick.
“I’m just glad you called. Are you in the truck now?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, Nolan is driving. We are headed to the farm.”
“Where’s Ethan?”
“He’s staying with Chase. They will be over in the morning for breakfast.” It was a tactic of mine to just keep to the facts.
After Dad questioned Nolan on his blood alcohol level, he offered for him to stay the night, then hung up.
“You should go home,” I said.
Nolan kept his eyes on the road, the streetlamps illuminating his face now and then. “You want me to?”
“Would your dad be okay if you stayed the night?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Not likely.”
“I’m sorry I kissed Chase,” I blurted.
“What?”
“I’ve been leading you on. I’ve been flirting and not stopping the little kisses here and there, and then I went and kissed Chase. I’m sorry. I should say I didn’t mean to, but I did.”
Nolan shook his head before reaching over and threading his fingers with mine. “I don’t care about that, Bailey.” He looked at me, almost in disbelief. “Someone kidnapped you. Someone hurt you, violated your skin, took your clothes! You think I care about a kiss? You think I’m, what? Mad at you?”
I hung my head. I was ashamed of myself.
We were pulling into my driveway now, but when he parked, Nolan didn’t let go of my hand. He didn’t leave.
He turned to face me. “I was scared. I was scared for you, Bailey. So much shit went through my head about what had happened to you, and all I could think was you’d probably let it happen. You’d let it happen, even if you didn’t want it to, because you don’t think you’re worth anything more. You think you deserve it, but you don’t. I don’t know what your ex did, I don’t know what happened, but he did a number on you mentally. He programmed you to think you have no control over it. I don’t want to go home, because I don’t want to leave you right now. I don’t want you to be alone.
“The kiss with Chase? I was upset at first, but only because I thought he was forcing himself on you. I’m sorry if I didn’t convey my intentions in the beginning clearly enough. I like you, Bailey. I like you a lot. But I heard you when you said you didn’t want anything more. I heard you when you drew that line and, yeah, maybe I do toe the line a bit more than I should, but I would never step over it without your consent. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t think you owe me, or that I own you, or any shit like that.
“So, kiss Chase. Kiss Lachlan, fuck, kiss Ethan, for all I care. As long as it’s your choice. I’m not going to hate you for it.”
The silence hung around us for a moment as words escaped me. Eventually, I said, “You hang around Lachlan too much. You said fuck like twice in a row.”
Nolan’s serious face turned into a smile. He took my hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it.
“You don’t think I’m a slut? For flirting with all of you? For leading you all on?” I asked, wanting to know his honest opinion.
“Leading us where? Because your intentions have been clear from the start, at least for me. You said you weren’t looking for a relationship. It doesn’t bother me. Just not Sam or Hersey, please? I don’t trust them to take care of you.”
I chuckled. “But you trust Chase and Ethan?” I knew he trusted Lachlan.
“Yeah…I do. When the picture was sent around, Ethan went on a rampage, trying to take everyone’s phone, demanding they delete the pictures, or he would break them. Chase was already leaving. He saw you were at the field, and that was it. A couple guys from school got in his way, and he laid into them. He didn’t care about anyone else; you were his only goal. I didn’t trust them before, but after tonight, I do.”
The porch light flashed, and we both looked over to see Dad standing there, his arms crossed. Mom stood next to him with her head in her hand, in disbelief.
“Guess that’s our cue.” Nolan looked back to me. “Are you clear, though? I’m not mad at you, and no matter what anyone says, you are not any of those words that were written on your skin.” I nodded, looking down at my arms to make sure the marker had washed off. There were still faint markings. Nolan lifted my chin so my eyes met his. “You’re cute…” He smiled. “Adorable. Sweet. Incredibly talented and smart. Those are the only words you should be thinking when you look at yourself.”
“Thank you, Nolan.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth. The same place he usually kissed me. His skin was soft and inviting me to lean forward, move to his lips, but even though I wanted to, I felt now wasn’t the time. Especially with my dad glaring at us from the porch. Nolan’s cheeks were red enough that I could see them in the dark of the cab. “Will you stay tonight?”
“I don’t want to leave,” Nolan admitted.
I moved to get out of the truck, then paused. A little truth. Give him a little truth. “Sometimes… I hear him a lot.” How else could I explain how I saw Ed without sounding crazy? “Like his words are stuck in my head. When you guys are around, it usually goes away. After tonight, I’m afraid it might come back more than usual.”
Nolan smiled softly and squeezed my hand. “I’ll stay.”
I let out a ragged breath. Lachlan was right—it started with little truths…and it felt so good to finally be speaking the truth.
My parents didn’t lecture us. I had a suspicion Dad waited up to see if we were intoxicated or something. He stared at my eyes long enough, I knew he was checking for something. He seemed satisfied with whatever he found there—or didn’t find. Mom questioned the outfit change, and when I told her about the “hazing” with the pool, the goop, and the pigs, leaving out the stripping to my underwear and the tequila shot before jumping into the pool, of course, she had a good laugh. Dad had been worried about there being hazing, and he seemed pleased by this tame version, compared to when he’d joined the football team.
When it was obvious I wouldn’t mention any other events of the night, Nolan followed my lead and respected my wishes.
I think my parents really liked Nolan because they seemed happy he was staying the night. My mom set up the guest room for him, but once everyone went to bed, he walked in through my open door. Nolan closed it behind him, and I shuffled over on the bed, pulling the blanket back and inviting him in. I still wore Chase’s sweats; they were cozy and comforting. Nolan wore his shirt and boxers.
“What’d your dad say?” I asked once he settled in next to me.
Nolan shrugged. “I sent him a text, told him I would meet him at the briefing tomorrow, since he always goes. Then I turned off my phone.” He moved so his arm wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest. “Don’t worry about him. I have it taken care of.”
Nodding, I snuggled into his rock-hard chest, drifting off to the absence of dogs barking or doors slamming while I pretended that I had never gone to any party tonight.