41. Violet
41
Violet
M y heart slammed into my ribs with such force I was waiting for one of them to break. Fear coated my mouth, making my tongue stick. My limbs screamed from being held tight for so long. Tears rolled down my cheeks from having my eyes glued shut.
I couldn’t look. Couldn’t breathe. The air around me was too fast, whipping across my skin.
This was a bad idea. So stupid. What made me think I could do this? Probably the same delusion that made me hook up with three guys.
I was in a full panic attack when I felt a warm palm on my calf. My body jolted. My fingers released, then tightened on Connor. I had a fistful of his shirt when I heard his voice through the speaker in my helmet.
“Breathe, little bloom. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
I didn’t know if I believed him, but my body did. My thighs and fingers loosened their grip. My eyes fluttered open as he ran soothing circles into my leg.
My heart rate slowed. The air flicked across my exposed skin. I could smell a freshness in it, like the grass when it rains.
The scenery flashed by. All I saw were shapes and colors. It was beautiful. It was as if I was looking at the world from the outside. From a place where I couldn’t be touched.
I felt free. Safe.
Soon, the surroundings changed from trees to buildings. The air turned stale as we drove through the city. I was starting to recognize places here. The community center. The street where the club was, but we didn’t turn towards them.
We kept going until we reached a building all by itself. Cars filled the parking lot more than seemed usual for a Thursday. As we pulled in, I saw the sign above the door.
My stomach lurched for a second when a memory hit me. The night they’d saved me, or maybe the day after. I wasn’t sure; it was all a blur. But I remembered the bright neon sign for this restaurant. Remembered my first bite of food in months that hadn’t been drugged take out.
The deafening sound of the motorcycle shut off. My muscles twitched from fear and the loss of the bike’s vibrations. My mouth watered. I hoped it was from the delicious scents carrying to me.
“Why did you bring me here?” My voice was muffled through the helmet I hadn’t taken off. I didn’t want to because I was praying we’d leave.
Connor’s fingers were warm as he pulled the strap at my chin. His touch sent a new vibration through me even as I tried to fight it. I didn’t resist as he drew the helmet over my head, setting it on the seat behind me.
His palms were comforting as he slid them through my hair, moving down to grasp my cheeks. His thumbs swept across them. “Because I know how you are about food and I trust the chef. He was one of our kids at the community center. That’s where he learned to cook. We helped him get the job before he aged out of foster care.”
“That was nice of you.”
He shrugged. “It was self serving. We love his food.”
His hands slid down to mine, and he pulled me from the motorcycle. I hid my smile as he led me to the door. They all pretended what they did wasn’t important. Saving me. Teaching the kids. They acted like everyone helped others. As if everyone was as good as them.
But I knew they were different. Their kindness couldn’t be found everywhere in the world. It was the first time I’d experienced it.
He pushed the double wood doors open, leading us into the restaurant. It was more upscale than I expected. The lighting and music were low, setting the ambiance. There were white tablecloths, lanterns, and wine glasses on every table. Each one was filled with couples in suits and dresses. Waiters walked around in vests and white shirts.
I felt out of place in my jeans and boots, but Connor had insisted since we were taking the bike. Eyes flicked our way as we were directed to a table in the back near the kitchen and bar. I’d seat us here too if I was the owner.
The glances didn’t stop as we read over our menus. I tried to ignore it, but my skin was buzzing from the attention. I was supposed to be in hiding. Staying away from anywhere Simon could see me until we found my brothers.
“We should go.” My voice shook as I whispered.
Connor’s eyebrows shot up as he set his menu down. “Why?”
“People are looking at me.” My heart beat faster as I saw their gazes quickly turning when they noticed us watching. “What if someone tells Sim-.”
“Violet.” He cut me off before I was forced to say the name. I hated even thinking it. “No one knows who you are. No one is going to hurt you. We won’t let them.”
It shouldn’t be that easy for him to calm me. But it was. I trusted them with my safety. My body. My life.
“Besides, they’re not staring at you. My brothers and I own a lot of businesses in the city. We’re well known.”
That made more sense. And if I saw him in a tight t-shirt stretched across his muscles with disheveled blonde hair, I’d be looking too. My pulse slowed as we placed our orders. When the waitress was gone, I focused on Connor again, vowing to ignore everyone else.
“How did you make your money?” I was too curious about them to feel embarrassed about my question.
“Reid inherited some. But I made my own.”
“Doing what?”
“Playing cards.”
“What?” My head shook in disbelief. I saw him playing around the house, solitaire or other games with Maverick. But I didn’t think much of it. I thought it was for fun.
He looked serious as he pulled a deck from his pocket. The edges of the box were worn, and the cards were discolored from years of use. “My dad was a dealer at a casino. He learned to play by watching and he taught me when I was little.”
The way he spoke about his father told me he was gone. My chest ached to ask, but I didn’t. I knew about wounds you didn’t want to open. If he wanted to tell me, he would.
“I play in games with high stake bets and I win a lot.”
“I had no idea you could make a living like that.”
“If you know what you’re doing.” He shifted the salt and pepper, then moved aside glasses on the table, creating a space for him to deal the cards. “Have you ever played poker?”
“No.” I listened to him lay out the rules. His love for the game was infectious. I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as he tried to teach me. It was like he was sharing a secret. A part of himself I hadn’t known existed.
I spent the rest of dinner losing to him. Our plates balanced on the edge of the table as he dealt round after round. We had bites in between playing. It should have made me feel more out of place, but by the time we were eating dessert, I didn’t even notice the people anymore.
Except for a little girl.
She was only nine or so and seated by herself. Her table didn’t have a tablecloth. Instead, it was filled with napkins, forks, and knives. It was shoved into the corner closest to the kitchen and used for the servers to roll silverware.
Her brown hair fell over her cheeks as she did just that. Over and over again, she tucked the napkin around them. It was clear this was something she did often. She had a faraway expression on her face. Not bored, but disconnected.
I’d seen that same expression in the mirror a million times. She was too young to look like that.
I wondered where her parents were. Why she was here. Every few minutes, she’d turn her eyes to us as if she longed to join our game.
My view of her was obscured as someone approached our table. He had a white coat with the restaurant logo across his chest. He couldn’t have been older than twenty-one with frizzy, curly brown hair and tan skin.
“Felipe.” Connor smiled as he stood to hug him. “Good to see you.”
“I wish I could say the same.” He said even as he embraced him back. “I didn’t think they let gangsters in here.”
I sucked in a sharp breath at the insult, knowing it couldn’t possibly be true. But Connor wasn’t fazed; he just laughed. “Yeah, the standards have really gone down when they started letting a street kid cook.”
“The pot and the kettle.” I didn’t have time to wonder what that meant because Felipe turned his attention to me. “And this must be your girl.”
“Oh, well…” My voice faded as I reached out to shake his offered hand. I wasn’t sure how to define what we were, especially without Maverick and Reid here. Did other people outside the club know what they were like? Was the fact that they shared women common knowledge? If I came here with one of the other guys, would it look like I was cheating on Connor?
Why did I continue to care about other people’s opinions?
“It was delicious, as always.” Connor saved me, redirecting his focus.
“Yes. I loved it.” I was just happy to enjoy food again without worrying. But maybe that was the man in front of me and not the meal. I trusted him to keep me safe, no matter what.
“Thank you.” His smile was full of youthful confidence. He seemed too young to be a head chef at a high-end restaurant, but I couldn’t deny that the food had been amazing. “Tell Mav I’ll be calling soon to set up—.”
“I’ll let him know.” Connor slapped him on the shoulder, ending the interaction. Felipe smiled before he walked away. He didn’t greet any other customers as he headed to the kitchen, but he did stop to ruffle the little girl’s hair. She looked up at him with round, innocent eyes.
“I’ll be right back.” I felt bad when Connor stood because I hadn’t been listening to him for the last few minutes. I’d been too curious about the little girl, seeing myself in her. Beaten down. Alone.
I watched the muscles in his body rippling as he walked away. I expected him to turn down the hallway into the bathroom. Instead, he slid into the booth across from her.
Her face brightened as she looked up at him. Her warmth echoed in me. Something told me I had a similar expression when he focused his charm my way. I couldn’t hear their voices, but Connor gave her his full attention. He was animated as he pulled a new deck of cards from his pocket. Did he always bring multiple ones with him? Or had he known she’d be here?
I expected him to teach her to play go fish or some other game for children. Instead, I watched as he did a magic trick, finding her card in the deck. Her look of delight lit up the room.
But her face dropped when he pushed the cards into her hands. She was shaking her head when he grabbed a passing waiter. Her dark hair fell over her shoulder as she glanced down.
Connor wrapped his large palms around hers, cradling the cards as he whispered in her ear. I would’ve given anything to hear what he said. Her eyes brightened with hope as she held out the cards. Her brows were furrowed in concentration as she tried to master the trick. The waiter didn’t seem bothered to play their game.
Her laughter carried across the restaurant when she did it correctly on the second try. Once he knew she had the hang of it, he stood, ruffling her hair like Felipe had before he walked back to me. She’d snagged another waiter by the time he made it to our table.
“You made her night.” My smile was so wide it hurt my cheeks. I was continually surprised at how wonderful these men were.
He shrugged as he reached for me, pulling me up. “I’ve known her since she was born. She’s Felipe’s sister. His babysitter isn’t reliable, so he has to bring her here sometimes.”
“Did your dad teach you that trick, too?”
His hazel eyes darkened like a cloud was covering them. His hand pressed firmly into my low back as he led me outside. “No. I learned on my own. Card tricks are always a big draw when you’re panhandling or pick-pocketing.”
My body buzzed with curiosity. I wanted to learn more. The expression in his gaze told me not to ask. But I had another piece of their puzzle for now. Making me wonder again what had happened to them.