Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
Sawyer
“You didn’t,” Nova says, padding across my floor, following her nose.
I left my t-shirt outside the door so she could grab it easily.
I silently curse because I had no fucking clue she’d look like that in a faded Guns n Roses t-shirt with her bare legs on display.
Granted, the shirt falls just above the knee so she’s covered, but then I’m reminded she has no underwear on under there and my dick twitches. Jesus.
I roll my eyes, not before handing her the plate. Strawberry Pop Tarts. Her favorite.
“I figured you were hungry.”
“You’re the best!” She grabs the plate and begins to devour them like she hasn’t eaten in weeks.
I know Payden looks after her like a big sister, and that’s reassuring, but it’s four o’clock in the morning and we’re in my kitchen, eating Pop Tarts. Nova needs to be more responsible and aware of her surroundings. It’s not safe out there.
It’s Sunday, so there’s no work tomorrow, luckily.
Nova has been a responsible employee in her job as the receptionist at Nomad Brothers Security.
She seems to enjoy it, plus she’s good with the customers and works efficiently.
Working for the brothers has given me a sense of purpose, and helped me get back on my feet. I owe everything to them.
“So I’ve been told. You want some water?”
“Yes, please.”
I go to the fridge and grab the pitcher, pouring her a glass. “You can eat in bed if you want.”
She wiggles her eyebrows. “Ooh, a man after my own heart.”
“Funny.”
She takes the glass and says, “I meant it before—we can share the bed, as long as you know I’m a blanket hogger.”
“So I’ve found out from the last time I woke up on the couch freezin’ cold.”
She laughs. “Quit your whining, pretty boy, I’m tired.”
I give her a pointed look. “Really? You think I wanna be standin’ here talkin’ to you over Pop Tarts at four am?”
“I don’t think you’d want it any other way.” She winks, then sashays back across the room, disappearing down the hallway.
I turn the lights out as I go, glad that I’m finally getting to lie back in bed, but also apprehensive because it’s the first time I’ve had a woman in my bed. It’s Nova, which makes it all the more frustrating because the last few weeks have been all about me not catching feelings for her.
We agreed — or pinkie promised — whatever, and I’m not gonna break that because my mind won’t stop thinking about her and my dick won’t quit hardening when I picture what’s under that t-shirt. For the love of all things holy, I need to keep my mind off the topic of her near naked body.
When I get to my room, she’s already sliding under the fluffy comforter on the far side of the bed. My rumpled side is apparent because I flipped over the edge of the comforter when I got up earlier.
She pats the pillow next to her. “Are you gonna stand there staring, or climb in? I don’t bite.”
Shit. There goes my dick again, having a mind of its own.
I clear my throat. “For your information, I don’t bring women back here, so give me a minute to get used to the idea.”
She makes a face. “Sorry, Saw, I know you do all your extracurricular activities at the clubhouse like all good bikers.”
I don’t correct her, I just smirk instead.
The truth is, I wish I could do my extracurricular activities at the clubhouse, or at all.
I haven’t had sex since… Nevermind, it’s been a while.
I can’t stand to be touched, and if that weren’t bad enough, I don’t get easily turned on.
There is one exception to the rule, of course…
and it’s the woman currently in my bed. She’s the only touch I can bear, and somehow, that feels wrong.
I should stay on the couch if those feelings are cropping up again, but if I say something, it could ruin our friendship.
What if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?
And we had that big talk right after we first made out — it was also the first time I realized I could in fact tolerate touch, and it was because of her.
“Yeah, yeah.” I give her a chin lift. “You gonna close your eyes or somethin’ while I get changed?”
“Nope.” She pops the P, munching on her second Pop Tart as she laughs.
“Fine, have it your way, but just so you know, I didn’t put underwear on in my haste to get dressed to come rescue you.”
Her eyes widen slowly and they flick south of my belt for a fraction of a second. Just what I don’t need. “Fine, I’ll put my hands over my eyes.”
“You could just close them.”
“This is more fun, though. And I won’t peek. Not unless you want me to.” The amusement in her tone has me smiling.
“Wise ass.”
I shrug my cut off, then lose my t-shirt, tossing it on the nearby chair.
I don’t usually drop my shit everywhere, but I’m tired.
Who knows if I’ll even get back to sleep.
Then there are the night terrors I’m usually blessed with.
I really hope I don’t have one of those tonight.
They’re unpredictable, and it isn’t like I have control over it.
No amount of therapy so far has helped me cure the dark side of sleep.
Any hours I get without waking up in a cold sweat are a blessing.
I undo my buckle, then unbutton and unzip my jeans, pulling them off as I glance over toward Nova.
She still has her hands over her eyes, even though I’m buck naked.
I pull out a fresh pair of briefs from my top drawer, tempted to put on some pajama pants, but then she says, “Hurry, I’m dying to see what you wear to bed. ”
I laugh. “You know what I wear to bed. Not much.”
“Ha! The last time we couch cuddled you wore sweats. I’m just saying, don’t let me stop you sleeping naked if that’s what you need to do.”
I shake my head. This girl, I swear to God. She’s not wrong; I do sleep naked, but obviously I’m not gonna do that tonight. “Couch cuddled?”
“It’s better than Netflix and Chill.”
“Debatable.”
I climb into my side and she drops her hands, immediately looking over at me.
Her eyes drop to my chest. Unlike most of the guys, I don’t have a bunch of tattoos.
The exception is the Heart of Courage ink on my chest, and a large biblical piece on my back that Bronco, one of my club brothers, finished a while ago.
He also added the NOLA Rebels skull logo, which is now one of my favorites.
I keep myself in shape, and without being an ass, I know I have a good body.
I’m fit and watch what I eat, plus I hit the gym every other day.
After years and years of abuse, my body became a sacred place that I would not compromise on.
Nobody got to touch me unless I wanted it. And I don’t. Except for her, that is.
“Holy shit,” she whispers, eyeing my tattoo. “I’ve never seen you without a shirt on before.”
“I hope those Pilates classes are finally payin’ off.”
She laughs. “You do not do Pilates.”
“I do too, have you seen some of the chicks in the gym?” Of course, I’m joking. I’ve never taken a Pilates class in my life.
“They’d faint if you went in there looking like that.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t walk around the gym with no shirt on, weirdo.”
“Well, I’m sure they wouldn’t complain if you did.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, coach, are we ready for lights out?”
She places her empty plate on the side table, dusting off the crumbs. “Yep. I’m ready, Obi Wan.”
I lean over and turn the lamp off, shrouding us in darkness.
It’s so still and quiet tonight, even the overhead fan doesn’t make a peep. My room is cold because I don’t like it stuffy, but I do like to snuggle under the warmth of the comforter.
“Are you still mad at me?” she asks.
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Nova, you said you saw Bobby tonight.”
“No, I said I thought I saw him. I had a couple of drinks, so it could’ve been anyone. He doesn’t know I’m here.”
I roll onto my side to face her, and she does the same so she’s facing me. “Sugar, it wouldn’t be that hard to guess. He knows your cousins are in the Rebels.”
“He’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere, hopefully. He also thinks I’m estranged from my cousins, so I doubt he’d think to look here.”
She’s wrong, so very wrong. Men like him — obsessive men — yeah, they will find a way if they really want to. From what I’ve heard, he was controlling and narcissistic.
“You still got that mace I got you?”
“Yes, along with the three other ones I got from the boys,” she sighs. “And I have a knife.”
I raise a brow. “Do you know how to use it?”
“I could teach you a thing or two.”
“I seriously doubt that,” I scoff, but I sober quickly. “If there’s anythin’ you wanna say to me, you can, Nove. I won’t judge.”
“I know, and I’m grateful. It was just… a lot. I trusted those girls, and I can take care of myself, but when this one guy grabbed me in the bar, I freaked out.”
“Wait, someone grabbed you?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Why didn’t you say somethin’ when we were there?”
She shakes her head. “What were you gonna do? Charge in there by yourself and take on the entire bar?”
I take a breath, squeezing my eyes closed for a second at her carelessness. “Maybe. It would’ve been worth it.”
She reaches out and I tense, but she swipes the hair off my forehead. Nova knows not to touch me without asking first. I never told her why, but she seems to have figured out where my boundaries are.
“I love you, do you know that? You’re the sweetest man I know.”
Her words don’t just resonate deep inside me, they make my cock ache. Jesus, I’m glad she can’t see under the covers. The truth is? I want her to touch me. There. Heck, everywhere if she wants. She wouldn’t violate me, Nova would never.
I’m safe with her.
“I’ve been told that’s my problem—I’m too sweet.” I poke a tongue, dancing over the fact she just told me she loved me. I should say it back. I need to say it back.
She giggles, unaware of my inner turmoil. “Kiss me one last time before we go to sleep.”
“You’re gonna get me in all sorts of trouble if you put your lips on me.”
“Is that a promise?”