Chapter 14
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
Nova
“You look glowy,” Manny says, almost accusatory, as we shop for party outfits for the weekend.
We’re waiting for Payden to arrive because she got held up at work and I ended up getting a ride with Luna instead.
It turned into a late afternoon lunch kinda thing.
Luna and Lace tagged along, and a couple of the other girls said they may make it if they could.
I know Manny’s fishing for information, and he’s not very subtle about it. Payden didn’t question me too much on Sawyer, mainly because I haven’t seen her for longer than a few minutes, and while she likes to talk, she wouldn’t rat me out.
“What are you talking about?” I sigh, trying to play it cool. “It’s stuffy in here.”
I will also note that Manny’s sex-radar is never sleeping. The man just knows things. He’s also the one most of the women turn to when they have a problem because he’s everyone’s best friend. Like a warm hug, or a comforting blanket. But he’s also a sneaky match-maker.
Manny rolls his eyes dramatically. “Your hair is up, you never wear it up.” He’s observant, too.
“I knew I was coming dress shopping, Mom. If you must know, my hair gets annoying when I’m trying stuff on, hence the situation I have going on.” Before I left work, I secured it in a high ponytail.
I wave a hand around my head. In addition to my hair frizzing easily, my ends need re-tinting as the pink is beginning to fade.
“That’s not it. There is something different about you,” he goes on, frowning at a glittery jacket, then pulls it out and measures it against his chest. “I know these things.”
“Sadly, I wish my life were that exciting.” I don’t even feel bad about the white lie.
I mean, I’m not going to declare my makeout session with anyone.
It’s private. Sawyer wouldn’t appreciate it, and though I’m no prude, I want to respect his wishes.
It’s a big deal for him, especially after what he told me.
Plus, it’d be all of five minutes before Brew, Haze and Logan were calling me and hassling him.
I don’t want Sawyer to get into trouble with my cousins, and he loves his job.
Who knows what they’d do, though, I don’t know why.
I couldn’t imagine a better man for me than Sawyer.
Though he might be broken in parts, he is sweet, kind, sensitive, and incredibly sexy.
You just don’t get that in a man these days.
Having said that, he’s still as alpha as they come.
I can’t stop thinking about him going to that bar to have another confrontation with the man and his friends who insulted me.
He’s slightly unhinged, but a part of me digs that.
I like that he’s far from perfect, because I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for emotionally available.
My phone beeps in my hand and when I glance at it, I smile when I see it’s Sawyer. Looking around, I quickly open it.
Sawyer
Missed you last night
I smile to myself.
We haven’t seen one another since that night, and not because we’re being weird with each other, he’s been busy. Busy with what, I don’t know, but we’ve been texting. And I’m thrilled to report the texts have been seriously flirty.
Me
Of course you did, you’re only human
Sawyer
How’s the shopping going?
Me
Ugh, bad. Manny has his antennas circling. He smells trouble a mile away
Sawyer
Am I trouble now?
Me
You’re always trouble
Sawyer
When can I see you?
Me
Anytime. I can come over there, it might be easier
Sawyer
What about after the party?
I frown ever so slightly. The party isn’t until tomorrow.
Me
Ok. Sounds good
Sawyer
I’d say earlier, but I’ve got a job tonight and I can’t back out
Immediately, I’m on edge. He’s still got the cuts and bruises from the last job.
Me
No more getting into duels at shady bars, remember?
Sawyer
It’s for Nomad Security, promise
I feel relieved to see him admit that. No matter what Sawyer says, I will always worry about him. That’s just who I am and how I’m made. I can’t help it.
Me
Okay, as long as you don’t have any regrets?
Sawyer
About what?
I roll my eyes. Seriously?
Me
About us, duh
Sawyer
you’re too cute
Sawyer
I missed snuggling you
Me
I’m sorry you had to high-tail it at 5am
Sawyer
Did Payden say anything?
Me
No, but she wiggled her eyebrows when she mentioned your name. I’m starting to think it looked really suspicious
Sawyer
You wearing a blanket around yourself? Nah, nothing sus about that
Me
Ha-ha. Go away, I’m busy finding a dress to impress you with
Sawyer
You’d look good in a brown paper bag
Me
How did you know that’s what I’m wearing???
Sawyer
Funny. See you soon x
I stare at the x like it tells a thousand more stories. I contemplate sending one back, then I overthink it. Why am I fucking like this?
In the end, I send a love heart emoji instead.
I slide my phone into my purse and glance up.
“Who was that?” Manny jiggles his eyebrows as he bites down on his lip. “Loverboy?”
“I don’t have a loverboy,” I remind him. “Ooh, that sequined jacket goes with your eyes.”
He smiles, then glances down at it. “Wait, it’s black. Oh, haha, hilarious.”
I blow him a kiss.
“Do you guys think Tag will let me out of the house in this?” Luna asks, holding up a dress made entirely out of black fishnet.
I burst out laughing. “Umm, I think Tag might have other plans if he sees you in that.”
“Totally.” Lace grins, pinching Manny on the ass. “And don’t mind him, he’s just sad he’s another year older.”
Manny leans toward Lace, pecking her on the lips, and then he deepens the kiss.
“Ew,” says Luna. “Get a room, you two.”
“I’ve often wanted to ask,” I say, continuing my search on the racks. “How do you guys make it work with the three of you? I can’t make a relationship work with just me and one person.”
“That’s because you’re not remembering how much you deserve,” Manny tells me pointedly. “When you know your worth and are open to finding the right person who will treat you like the queen you deserve, the world will open up for you.”
I guess he’s noticed my lack of dates since I arrived in New Orleans, little does he know I wanted it that way. I needed to heal after Bobby, and I’d buried my feelings for far too long.
He’s right, though. Look at me and Sawyer this past week. Everything has changed.
“He’s right,” Lace coos. “Living with two guys is no picnic, and we have our ups and downs, but we genuinely like one another. We’re best friends, that’s how we make it work.”
I swallow hard. Also like me and Sawyer. We literally are best friends.
“I’ll take your words of wisdom with me, Obi Wans,” I laugh as the door bursts open. We all jump until we see Payden.
“Finally,” Manny mutters.
“Sorry I’m late,” she says, waving at us. “I just saw some creep looking through the window and told him to scram.” She thumbs behind her and we all look, but I see nothing.
“Gross,” Luna says. “Want me to clock him?”
Payden gives her a look. “I’m not sure I can pass that off as self defense.”
Luna pouts. “Well, you’re no fun.”
“How was your day?” I ask Payden.
She sighs, placing her briefcase down near the counter so she can browse hands free. “Harder than it had to be. Let’s just say I’m hangry, and I need sustenance soon.”
“We can go to the Burger Shack after,” Manny sings.
“Wait, I thought you hated that place?” Lace asks.
We all know Manny has very high standards.
He’s brought the Soup Kitchen that Priest and Bella run to new heights, and helped at Muso, Hustler and Audrina’s cafe in the French Quarter, but he won’t cook fries and burgers at the club’s cafe on Bourbon Street.
“I don’t hate it,” he says, with a little too much spirit. “I just told Cash one time he better not even think of sending me there because I have my kitchen exactly how I want it.”
“Uh, huh,” Lace teases. “And you’re sure it’s not because they make burgers and hot dogs?”
Manny screws up his nose, then says, “I make burgers, smartass.”
“Yes, but you call them sliders,” Luna puts in, extending the words with a wave of her hands.
“That’s because they are tiny, delicious, bite-sized morsels of goodness,” Manny tells us.
“And honestly, they attempted to make Gumbo one time. I might add their cook refused to take any tips off me, the reigning champion in the Great Louisiana Gumbo Cook Off, and it was a disaster. But what would I know about cuisine? It was only Harlem and the club who sent me to cooking school to refine my already god given talent.”
I roll my lips as he marches off over to the patent pant area. That might calm him down a little.
“Glad you asked,” Payden mutters to Lace.
“It’s a touchy subject,” Lace whispers behind her hand at us. “He’ll be fine in a second.”
Luna shakes her head. “If someone takes that title from him, we’re all done for.”
“I can still hear you,” Manny sings. “Oh, my god, look at these pants!”
He’s so predictable.
I keep trawling the racks, but all I can think of is: What would Sawyer like?
I know he said I’d look good in a brown paper bag, but that’s not happening.
His favorite color is blue, so I naturally navigate my way over to a glittery, metallic halter-neck dress.
It’s way shorter than I’ve ever had the guts to wear, but it’s really pretty.
I check my size and pull the dress out, examining it.
It’s a lot of money, but I never treat myself, and I’ve been saving for over a year.
The one thing about my job is the financial security, and it’s what I needed to get back on my feet.
“Now that’s a showstopper,” Payden whispers. “It wouldn’t be for anyone in particular, would it?”
I poke my tongue childishly. “No. It wouldn’t.”
She bumps me with her hip, raising her brows. The others are busy fussing over the pants; Manny is now trying to find a top to match with. “So?”
“We’re all good.”
“Well, I’m glad. You make a cute couple.”
“Wait, we’re not… Well, I don’t know what we are,” I whisper. “But we’re more than friends. Just don’t say anything to anyone. Sawyer is really weird about his private life, and you know, the brothers.” It isn’t a lie, but even so, I know Payden is trustworthy.
“My lips are sealed.”
“Not even to Luna,” I warn. “She may be your bestie, but news travels fast.”
“I won’t say anything,” she reiterates. “Plus, Sawyer already got one beating, I’m not sure how he’d fare with the brothers grim.”
“Ugh, they’re so annoying. You’d think they’d be doing cartwheels if we were to get together. He’s a good guy.”
“I don’t think it’s him, per se,” Payden says. “I think it’s anyone who comes near you after all that shit with your ex.”
“Speaking of which, I forgot to tell you Bobby’s in jail.”
“Holy shit!”
“Yep.”
“Though, when you think about it, is it really that surprising?”
“I know,” I sigh. “But the other night when Sawyer came to get me, I could’ve sworn I saw him in the bar. Which just goes to show you I am, in fact, fucking crazy.”
She pulls me into a one armed hug. “No, you’re not. You suffered trauma, babe, that isn’t something you ever really get over.”
“I know, but seeing my ex in a bar when he’s locked up thousands of miles away.” I shake my head.
Payden frowns. “Speaking of which, please tell me you won’t do that again. Those girls aren’t your friends, and you’re lucky your drink didn’t get spiked or something.”
“Tell me about it,” I sigh. “I had a big lecture from Sawyer. It’s the story of my life, the one time I was spontaneous.”
“Be spontaneous at the clubhouse, at least you’ll be safe.”
“Yeah, I really wanna hang out where my cousins practically live,” I huff. “Well, aside from Logan, but I think Cash may finally have convinced him to join the MC. I heard the brothers talking about it in the break room”
Payden piques a brow. “Oh?”
A slow smile spreads across my face. “So, are you going to admit you have a little crush?”
Payden laughs. “Word to the wise? This ain’t a crush, honey. I’m not ashamed to say that I wouldn’t mind parking my shoes under his bed any day of the week, so to speak.” She fans herself and I laugh, too.
“Ew.”
“Not from where I’m standing.” She ponders for a second. “So, is Logan seeing anyone?”
“Not that I know of, but you know how secretive he is. If you ask me, he’s just grumpy. On the flip side, if he comes to the clubhouse then you might actually get to live out that fantasy.”
She claps her hands together. “Something to live for.”
I snort. “I thought all you posh lawyer types only like other posh lawyer types in suits and stuff?”
She wrinkles her nose. “I don’t like men in suits, to be honest. All day, I work around old cronies who do not interest me one iota. I like a man who is rugged and a little rough around the edges. Maybe a little dirty, but only in the bedroom.”
”Oh god, make it stop,” I whine. “Promise me if you do bag Loges, do me a favor and confess to Luna, okay? Because I really don’t wanna know.”
“Deal. If it ever happens.”
“Well, you should be brave and ask him out. Why wait for him to make the moves?”
“You have a point, because Logan is never gonna make the moves.”
“Yes, because he doesn’t even know any of this,” I say. “You don’t make it easy on yourself. How’s a guy meant to know when you work from dusk till dawn?”
“That’s the story of my life. I only have myself to blame,” she sighs.
“I’ll get out the violins.” I mimic violin playing and she bumps me again.
Sobering, she adds quietly. “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it. Don’t worry about what anyone says or thinks, it’s what you want that matters.”
I blink, then give her a warm smile. Sharing my feelings is never easy, but it’s less complicated with my roommate.
Payden is a good friend. There’s no agenda, and she looks out for me, plus it’s a pleasant change to the company I’ve been keeping.
“Thanks. So you do you. Which is why I say you should just go for it.”
She turns back to the rack. “I guess I’m gonna need a killer outfit to seal the deal then, right?”