Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
Nova
The party is in full swing as we dance, sing, and enjoy ourselves.
The shirtless waiters were an added bonus, and we all sang Happy Birthday while Bandit and Lace stood on either side, clapping with proud looks on their faces.
Most of the guys wouldn’t set foot in this side of the club since it’s specifically aimed at women and gays, but we plan on going back to the clubhouse after.
Manny isn’t a big drinker, but he’s had a couple of cocktails, and he’s emotional. That’s nothing new, but it’s sweet and I smile when he blows out all the candles.
Today was fun. The boys let me off work just after lunchtime, and I don’t start the office interviews until next week, so this was a nice break to enjoy with my friends. The type of friends who have each other’s backs.
I haven’t checked my phone much tonight because I don’t want to be that girl.
Just because me and Sawyer made out — okay, and dry humped— doesn’t mean I’m going to lose my head.
I mean, I’m not saying I’ve been able to stop thinking about him, I haven’t.
But I had a life before he came along, and as much as I want to get back to the clubhouse early to see him, this is Manny’s night, and it’s about what he wants.
Another hour passes, and Payden links her arm with mine. “Ready?”
“Where are we going?” I ask, yelling over the music.
“Back to HQ.”
I laugh. “HQ? Not hoping someone will be there, are we?” I swore off alcohol a while back after my relationship with tequila that took a sorry turn.
I don’t even feel I’m missing out on anything.
People who say you need alcohol to have a good time are dumb, because I haven’t stopped laughing and enjoying myself all night.
I don’t know why, but I just want to be myself when I see Sawyer.
He’s seen me at my worst, and I don’t wanna be drunk in his presence.
Payden looks hopeful. “Why, did you hear he might?”
“Nope, but you never know, right?”
We navigate through the people dancing toward the exit, Payden laughing as she goes. “I so need to get laid.”
“Don’t say that too loudly at the clubhouse, you’ll never get rid of JJ, or Chains or fucking Wheels.”
Payden screws her nose up. “Isn’t Wheels like nineteen?”
“What’s wrong with a younger guy?” I roll my lips to save from laughing.
“You’re not fucking serious, are you? Like, ew, what could a younger guy possibly know?”
“I don’t know, but they could have more stamina?”
She thinks about it for a second. “I guess. I haven’t ever really thought about it, but Jesus, Wheels? He looks like a freaking teenager. No, and no.”
I laugh. “I was just joking. Though it would be cool if you hooked up with Logan in a way because then you’d be around the club more.”
She gives me a look. “Words that would never have come out of your mouth until you made out with you know who.”
“Shhh!” I hiss, looking around, but there’s no way anyone heard us, there’s too much activity going on.
We make it outside, following behind Deanna, Summer and Bella.
Nevada’s ol’ lady Star, and Riot’s ol’ lady Halo are up ahead of us, and Luna is pleading with the driver — Hustler, who probably only agreed because he and Audrina are like freaking teenagers — to stop off at a drive-through because she’s hungry.
“I’ll make you sliders!” Manny declares. “Or burgers, as you may also know them, which, by the way, is not the same thing.”
“Give it a rest with the food analogy,” Lace chastises. “And we’re not letting you cook on your birthday. I’ll order pizza on the way back to the clubhouse. Do you think you can hold off until then?”
“Yes, but I’m a vegetarian,” Luna declares. “And so is Stella, so no meat for us, heavy on the toppings, they always scrimp on the pineapple.”
This ensures a debate on the pineapple on pizza dilemma, something everyone has an opinion on as we climb onto the bus.
“Wait, but don’t you eat Tag’s meat, how is that vegetarian friendly?” Bandit laughs, earning him a shove in the ribs from Lace.
“Ha, ha, asshole,” Luna says, trying to shove him but Bandit doesn’t move a muscle. “His is the only sausage I’ll allow into my mouth.”
I try not to gag at that thought. Gross.
“Come on, everyone,” Hustler says, pecking Audrina on the lips as she approaches and then helps her up the steps. “Hurry, before we get a ticket.”
I doubt very much that would happen because the club owns this place, but he’s probably just trying to get everyone home quickly and safe.
“Thanks for driving us,” I say to Hustler as he gives me a chin lift.
“You’re welcome, darlin’, mind your step there.” Always a gentleman.
“How did you get roped into this job?” Payden asks behind me.
He chuckles. “I volunteered. Believe it or not, no one was fighting to take the job from me.”
“Funny that,” Payden laughs. “I’m sure you’ve got a million better things to be doing, but thanks, Hustler.”
He tips his head and helps Star and Halo, who are behind us.
I’m excited to be heading back, and I know the only reason for that. I check my phone, sure enough, there’s five texts from Sawyer.
Sawyer
Gonna be a little late, something came up
Sawyer
How is your night going?
Sawyer
I can’t wait to see you. It’s been a long day
Sawyer
I also can’t wait to see your dress
Sawyer
Gonna be hard seeing you at the clubhouse and not being able to touch you
I stare at that last message and my heart flutters.
Gonna be hard seeing you at the clubhouse and not being able to touch you?
Is he for real?
A flutter in my lower belly has me squeezing my legs together.
The way Sawyer had his hands on me is enough, no matter what he says.
Of course, I’d love to actually have him inside me, but if that can’t happen right now, or ever, he’s still enough.
I had the most powerful orgasm of my life, and that was only with rubbing and his fingers.
I can’t even imagine what he can do with his tongue, much less anything else.
I know without a doubt that waiting has been the best thing I could do for myself.
Having a hiatus after a traumatic experience, and a violent ex is the smartest thing I did.
No amount of therapy will ever make me forget, but I learned to process it and now it can no longer hold me hostage.
The scars will remain, but with Sawyer, I’m not afraid.
I trust him. I know he’d never hurt me. He wants what’s best for me, and I want the same for him.
A tight feeling has me sitting upright in my chest. What is that? A heart murmur, or something?
I’ve never had that feeling before. It’s happened a couple of times, always when I’m thinking about Sawyer. Could I… could I be developing real feelings for him? Wouldn’t that be stupid?
We’re not a thing. Okay, we are a thing, but here I go, getting all heavy. And of course I have feelings for him, duh, I’ve told him I love him, but this is something more. Something raw.
Am I in love with him?
I swallow hard, placing a hand over my heart. That’s it, isn’t it? Somewhere along the line, I read too much into it. I told myself I’d never get swept up in a guy ever again, but that just isn’t true.
Just how a lot of things about me aren’t true, here’s a newsflash: I like it.
I like this feeling. The anticipation of seeing him.
Knowing he’ll have his eyes on me the minute I step inside the clubhouse doors.
Maybe the fact that we can’t do anything in front of anyone, and he can’t touch me, only adds to the excitement bubbling up inside me.
I send him a text back.
Me
Sorry, it was loud in the club. We’re headed back now. I can’t wait to see you
I think twice before sending the next message, but hit send before I can chicken out.
Me
I can’t wait for you to see me out of the dress
Holy crap. I have it bad.
Somehow, I don’t actually care. I want Sawyer to know how much I desire him. How after our amazing night together and the cuddling afterward, I felt more alive than I ever have. I need him to know.
A smile to myself when I see he’s read the text. The gray bubble appears, then disappears. This happens for several seconds, then:
Sawyer
So hard for you
Oh, my fucking god. He.Did.Not.
I haven’t touched him there yet, but I rubbed myself against him, and he felt fucking fantastic. Hard, thick and long doesn’t even begin to describe it. I wonder if he’d ever let me touch him, suck him, play with him. I want to, but I am also very okay with him wanting to take his time.
I can only imagine Sawyer has the most perfect dick, just like the rest of him.
I wet my lips, checking to make sure nobody is being nosy. Since Payden is in a debate with Luna over the seat about pineapple flavored chocolate and its merits, I hurriedly send a text back.
Me
Now I’m thinking about how hard
I grin when the bubble reappears
Sawyer
Very fucking hard
Oh, god. I don’t know how I’m going to walk into those clubhouse doors and not jump on him.
I hope he likes the dress.
Me
Are you flirting with me, Pretty Boy?
Sawyer
You’re quick
Me
You’re doing things to me, and that’s incredibly frustrating on a bus full of drunk people
Sawyer
I need you
My eyes widen, and my heart races. My immediate thought is: Is he okay?
Me
Is everything okay?
Sawyer
Long day
Why do I feel like that isn’t it? I don’t go poking my nose into club business, though I am a naturally nosy person by nature.
I need you.
Those words.
It only fuels my obsession. Wait, is that what it is? Jesus. This could be a thing after all.
After what feels like an incredibly long bus ride with singing, laughing and yapping like there’s no tomorrow, we finally arrive back at the clubhouse.
As usual, there are a billion motorcycles parked in the lot. Because it’s Manny’s birthday, it looks like everybody showed up.
The club loves him, and we all know Manny loves the attention. They go hand in hand.
Everyone makes their way off the bus, some in better states than others, and when Lace links her arm through mine and rests her head on my shoulder, I know she’ll probably be going straight to bed.
“Good night?” I ask.
She nods. “So happy.”
I smile as we approach the clubhouse doors. Weirdly, there is no sound coming from the building, and all the lights are out. I suddenly realize what’s going on: a not surprise party.
“Hey, why is nobody here?” Casey asks.
Crystal, her sister, answers for her. “Shhh! You’ll ruin the—-”
“Surprise!” what feels like a million voices call out before we even make it to the steps.
Manny puts on his best shocked face as Cash pulls him into a hug, grinning from ear to ear.
“Why you shouldn’t have!” Manny pretends to swoon when Cash lets him go.
“Get inside, motherfucker,” Cash laughs, patting him on the back.
Deanna folds into his arms and they kiss. It’s so sickeningly sweet. Maybe you’d expect Cash to be a big bad ass Prez, and he can be when it counts, but when it comes to his wife, he’s mush.
We all know it.
I step inside, Casey leaves my side as she finds Pipes. Suddenly, there are people everywhere greeting Manny, hugging him and wishing him a happy birthday. Seriously, you’d think he was royalty or something.
I glance around, but there are too many people. I scan the pool tables, but no luck there. Sawyer isn’t a big drinker, so he’s not at the bar. Goddamn it. More to the point, why am I so needy?
I don’t like this newly found jealousy thing that stirs inside me when I think about what he’s doing when I’m not around.
Not that he’s doing anything, it’s more the chicks that hang around the club all over him.
I’m not sure that Ria would survive if she put her hands on him in my presence now he’s had his hands on me. I don’t know what I may be capable of.
Then, as if he’s calling to me on another level I don’t quite understand, I turn.
Sawyer is staring at me from across the room, leaning against the wall, his head tilted sideways as his eyes dip down my body.
Now I’ve seen him look at me that way, I know I want to see that hunger in his eyes for the rest of my life.
I don’t know, but I think he likes what he sees, judging by the smirk on his face.
I should go flirt with him, but make it look like I’m just being friendly. Nothing to see here.
Since everyone is focusing on Manny and wishing him a Happy Birthday, this moment serves as the perfect opportunity to do just that.