Chapter 18
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Sawyer
Nova has always been an attractive girl, but there’s something about her tonight.
Maybe it’s the way her eyes shine across the dull room like stars in the night sky, or the way her smile is mischievous and knowing, or perhaps she knows she looks hot as fuck in that dress and it’s affecting me.
The way the material clings to her body…
It makes me want to touch her. And I want her to touch me back.
I don’t mean to stalk toward her, but since everyone is wishing Manny a happy birthday and there’s a commotion with a birthday cake, it seems like the perfect time to steal Nova away for a few minutes.
I glance around to make sure nobody is being overly observant, and luckily they’re not. I’d like to sweep her up into my arms, tell her how pretty she looks, and that blue is amazing on her. Although I wish it could be like that, I won’t let it ruin my mood.
Instead, I stop and switch my direction behind the partition separating the entrance to the pool tables. She stops, looking around for me, and I can’t help but smile to myself. It’s a little cat and mouse, but whatever.
As she passes me, I reach out, snagging her by the wrist as I pull her back to my front. It’s a bold and risky move, but it’s dark.
She smells like a fucking summer nights dream; the waft of coconut and vanilla fills my senses. I slide a hand across her belly and she sags against me.
“Lookin’ for someone?”
I hear the mischievousness in her tone when she says, “Maybe.”
I bump her with my hips. “You kept me waiting.”
“Aren’t we a little alpha on steroids?” She turns in my arms. “I kinda like it.”
My eyes stray from hers down her body, lingering on her cleavage. Since I don’t want to look like a fucking weirdo ogling her, I continue my descent, grazing my eyes over every inch of her.
“You look beautiful.”
“Do you like it?” She does a twirl, laughing.
“I like it a lot,” I say, my voice low. I shouldn’t be looking at her like this, not at the clubhouse, but everyone is used to seeing us together, knowing we’re not together.
I fail to see how this is any different.
Granted, I probably wasn’t looking at her like a hungry lion, but we can’t all be saints.
“Did you have a good time at the strip club?”
“Yep.” She pops the p loudly. “I saw heaps of hot guys without shirts on.” She leans closer, whispering. “None were as hot as you.”
I grin. “Of course they weren’t.”
She bumps me with her shoulder. “Arrogant, much?”
“Hey, I don’t just wake up lookin’ like this,” I laugh.
She shakes her head. “You’re such a liar. I’ve seen you first thing in the morning with your hair ruffled and half your face smooshed into the pillow…” Her words trail off as we lock eyes.
Fuck.
Fuckity fuck.
A jolt of electricity stirs within me and I know she feels it, too.
Is it because we’ve denied each other for this long?
Is this why it feels so much more personal?
I have to have her; that’s how it feels.
She has to be mine. Not just in my bed, but when I come home at night…
And I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
I give her a chin lift. “You should head over and get some cake.”
It’s the last thing I want her to do, but as she opens her mouth to answer, I finally let go of her.
“The last thing I want right now is cake.” Her words are slow and to the point. I know what she’s saying and I feel it all the way down to my balls.
I know for a fact that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Even girls I liked and was attracted to didn’t inspire me to go the extra mile.
“What do you want, Princess?” I dare to ask.
She swallows hard. “Your place?”
My lips twitch. “Think you can sneak away?”
“I don’t care what they think, Saw. I’m a grown woman. My cousins don’t rule my life, no matter what they think.”
I know I have Logan’s blessing, but I also know Brew and Haze are two very different creatures than their older brother.
Haze would probably be cool, but Brew would want a motherfucking business plan before I even touch her.
He’d also make sure he rearranged my face for going behind the club’s back, because technically Nova is a club sister.
If I were to have anything going with her, I’d have to claim her.
Claiming her makes her off limits to anyone else, but I don’t know how Nova would feel about that.
“Are you sure about that? They scare the fuckin’ crap outta me.”
She swats my chest playfully and I do not lower my gaze to her jiggling tits in that halter dress. I can tell she has no bra on. My dick is so painfully hard I try to ignore it, but that’s easier said than done. It takes a lot for me to even get in this state, and yet Nova does it so easily.
Something tightens in my chest. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve learned to mask my feelings and keep my face neutral, or preferably with a smile.
“I’m sure. I’m an adult, and if they don’t like it, they can take a running leap for all I care.”
“Those are fightin’ words,” I say, giving her a chin lift. “I’ll wait outside if you wanna say goodnight.”
It’s best we’re not seen leaving together, just in case.
She pouts, then says, “I’ll get us some cake for later.”
I so badly want to press a kiss to her pretty lips, and it takes all my restraint not to do that. Instead, I thumb behind me. “I’ll warm up the beast.”
She gives me a wink. “I’ll be right out.”
I step outside, leaving the throng of music and cheers behind me as the doors close. It’s not too chilly out so I shrug my cut off, ready to lay it over Nova’s shoulders. Of course she didn’t bring anything to keep her warm, but I also like the idea of her wearing my cut for the second time.
I pause as I step down from the clubhouse porch. There it is again: that feeling in my chest.
Tightness, like someone reached in and grabbed my heart and squeezed it. I’m surely too young to be having a heart attack, and after a few seconds, it passes.
I’ve had anxiety attacks for years, but that’s not it. Maybe it’s anxiety on another level, subconsciously, because I care about someone now other than my mom, brother, and Chris. I, without a doubt, would put myself in the firing line to keep Nova safe, but it’s not even that.
I’m not jealous she looked at other dudes, but then when I thought about another man touching her, my body went rigid.
Nova is mine.
I mount my sled, blowing the air from my cheeks.
Mine. Well, that is a new discovery. I had no idea I was putting a claim like that over my best friend. I wait for the dreaded fear of being tied down, of a woman having a hold over me, but it doesn’t come. Not when I think about how things could be with me and Nova.
Not when I think about claiming her, as my brother suggested earlier. Yeah, we had the chat.
Just like everyone else around here, he’s super fucking nosy.
I know she can do better. I know she’s the type of woman who can get any guy she wants. She might not think it, but it’s true. There isn’t a man on earth who wouldn’t be affected by her beauty and kindness. But I don’t want any man to know that about her. I want to be the only one.
My jealousy confuses me. I’ve never been a man to give a fuck about petty shit like that. I haven’t had a girlfriend either, which might explain quite a bit. I guess I just didn’t care. Now I fucking care.
Has it taken me this long to realize I’m onto a good thing? That I’d rather spend the night with this beautiful woman than any other woman on the planet?
Maybe I really am that clueless. It makes me wonder why I’m such a fucking sap.
I start up my baby, the roar of the engine is enough to wake the dead.
This is when I feel most alive. Riding on my motorcycle.
The freedom I’ve found since joining the MC is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
It’s the first time since I escaped that I’ve felt truly alive.
Vulnerable, but not in a bad way. In a way that makes me want to let someone else in.
Trust me, if she knew half of it, she’d probably run a mile.
I remind myself I was just a child. A misfit, yes, but a child nonetheless, and I have to stop blaming myself.
I lost a lot of years doing drugs and numbing the pain with alcohol.
I never want to go back to that dark pit of hell.
The smoke from that day of the fire, the one where I escaped, will always be bitter sweet.
It’s engraved into my memory forevermore.
I’m lost in thought when I glance up and see Nova coming toward me. I’m leaning against my motorcycle as it rumbles away.
She’s carrying a little box, and I grin when I realize it has cake inside.
“You really did get some birthday cake,” I laugh.
She nods, her eyes bright. “I told you I would.”
I push myself up, but I don’t get far. Nova is standing right in front of me and, fuck me, if I forget to breathe. “Kiss me,” she whispers. “Please, Sawyer.”
I glance over her shoulder. Nobody is around, but still. “You’re playin’ with fire, sugar.”
“I don’t care about any of that.”
“You say that now—” And I don’t get to finish because Nova places her pointer finger against my lips to shush me. Then she replaces her finger with her lips.
Oh, my fucking god. Had I already forgotten just how sweet her lips taste?
My hands find her hips, and I don’t deny the groan that leaves my lips.
I can’t help it. It’s sexy as hell, and with my hands on her waist, the fabric so soft and barely there, I know I want to get her home to my bed so I can explore her body.
I pull away, my mouth at her ear. “That was a very naughty thing to do,” I mutter.
“Well, I’m a very naughty girl.” That sounds kinky as fuck coming from her lips.
“Yeah?”
She nods. “Take me to your place so we can get naked.”
I blink, then she bites her lip, wincing. “Shit, Saw. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, well I kinda did, but I mean, I could get naked, you don’t have to—”
It’s my turn to place a finger over her lips now. “You talk a lot, have I ever told you that?”
She narrows her eyes, but she’s grinning. “Yes. And might I remind you of something from the other night?”
I pique a brow, intrigued. “What’s that?”
“You came in your pants.”
My eyes darken. That I did, and while it was a little embarrassing, not to mention messy, I have no regrets. I came so fucking hard, harder than I ever have, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night all damn week.
“Thank you for the reminder.” I give her a lopsided grin and waggle my eyebrows. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Touche.”
I pull out the helmet and help it onto her head, securing mine as I hop on and lift the kickstand. When I feel her hands on my shoulders, pulling herself over the back, my heart races in my chest. The adrenaline, or something, fuels the fire like never before.
I rev the engine a couple of times just because I can, turning my head I say, “Hold on to me, Princess.”
She wraps her arms tighter around my waist and clings on for dear life. I know she loves the adrenaline, too. We’ve often talked about how much we both love motorcycles. I’d love to get her one someday. Her own pink bike. I smile to myself because that would be right up Nova’s alley.
I take off from the lot and down the street, feeling as if I’m soaring through the night. What makes it even better is having Nova right here with me.
Freedom.
This is what it looks like.