Chapter 15 #3
“Yeah, he probably was thinking ice cream, whipped cream, maybe some chocolate sauce, but all for the bedroom, and when he realized that wasn’t happening, he was like, ‘Forget this. Let me not waste another twenty bucks on this date,’” I continued happily, my mind already thinking about licking whipped cream off of all of her private parts.
“Hmm.” Lara pursed her lips. “I’m not sure.” She made a face. “I don’t think he’s that kind of guy. He never made any comments like that on our previous dates.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m saying. I’m a guy. I know how we are.” I want to lick ice cream off of you right now, I thought to myself. And you can suck it off of me too, I thought, growing even harder.
“If you say so.” She looked away from me for a few seconds and for some reason that made me angry. Was she thinking about him?
“Did you really like him or something?” I snapped at her.
“Huh?” She looked back at me and blinked.
“You seem to care an awful lot about what this guy said or did. Forget him. There are much better guys out there.”
“I didn’t say I cared. I’m just confused.”
“No need to be confused. I just explained it all to you in a nutshell.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She nodded just as Mila walked back into the room with a bottle of wine and a bag of chips.
“Thanks for what?” Mila looked at me. “What advice did you give her?”
“I told her he just wanted sex and that was why he peaced out.”
“Parker, are you for real?” Mila sighed. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I know guys.” I shrugged. “You wanted me to give my honest opinion, right?” I looked at them both. “The dude realized he wasn’t going to get laid so he peaced out. It happens all the time.”
“I don’t think Luke is like that.” Lara shook her head. “He doesn’t seem to be about sex.”
“Every guy is about sex.” I was exasperated at how clueless Lara was being and how Mila was trying to make me out to be the bad guy. “Trust me, I’m a guy, I know these things.”
“Every guy isn’t you, Parker.” Mila pursed her lips. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why Luke left.”
“Okay, so why ask me, then?” I rolled my eyes and I could feel myself growing angry. Why was I wasting my time here in this situation? I was getting absolutely nothing from it. This wasn’t what I’d come for. This wasn’t what I wanted.
“We thought you could give us a male perspective. Well, I thought that.” Mila sighed. “Lara didn’t really know you were coming.”
“I see.” I looked over at Lara then and watched her face and waited for her to look at me. “I texted you,” I said nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal that I’d texted her several times and she hadn’t responded. Over ten times to be exact.
“Oh?” She looked up at me with a surprised expression.
“Is your phone broken?” I felt some sudden hope. Maybe that was why she hadn’t texted?
“Nope, why?” she answered quickly, and then her face flushed as she realized why I’d asked her the question.
“No reason.” I shook my head. “I suppose you didn’t forget your Facebook password, either?” I said with a smile, though my stomach was churning.
“I’ve just been busy.”
“With Luke? I know.” I looked away from her and I could see Mila looking at me curiously, studying my face, and I stared back at her, wondering what she was thinking.
“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back,” Mila said abruptly and left the room. I stared at the door for a few seconds and then looked toward Lara.
“So how have you been?” I asked her quietly.
“Good,” she said simply.
“That’s good,” I replied. “I’ve been pretty good too.”
“That’s nice.” She nodded and I could tell that she wasn’t even engaged in our conversation.
“I’m sorry.” I stood up and walked over to her and crouched down next to her. “You know that, right?”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She shrugged and looked at me.
“Lara . . .” I grabbed her hand and she flinched away from me. “Lara,” I said, a little bit more harshly, hurt at her reaction. “Can we please talk?”
“Talk about what, Parker?” She sighed and glanced at me. “If it’s about the sex, it’s fine. We both enjoyed it. I’m over it. I’m not even thinking about it anymore, okay? I’m meeting new guys. I’m dating. I’m focusing on that.”
“Okay.” I frowned at her tone. If she was okay, why wasn’t she acting like she normally did? “You haven’t texted or messaged me back, so I figured something was up.”
“Like I said, I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy to text me back?” I said softly and I touched her face lightly. “Look at me, please, Lara.”
“What do you want me to say, Parker?” She sighed and looked into my eyes. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. You’re confusing me.”
“I’m confusing you?” I stared back at her. “How am I confusing you? You’re the one not responding to my texts.”
“I just can’t do this.” She sighed. “Look, it doesn’t matter, does it? Are you really that upset because I didn’t send you a couple of texts back?”
“It’s rude,” I said with a frown, my heart pounding. “And I was worried about you.”
“Then, sorry.” She stood up abruptly. “I’ll be better.”
“Lara, what’s going on?” I asked her, feeling frustrated and upset. “Why are you being this way?”
“I’m not being any way. I’m just tired.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply before looking at me again.
“I’ve missed you,” I said sincerely, not knowing why I was telling her that. “I’ve missed hanging out with you and talking to you and spending time with you.”
“Thanks,” she said and gave me a weak smile.
“I know you don’t or won’t believe me, but I value your presence in my life.” I felt empty inside as I stared at her. “I miss being with you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry about what I said about Luke.
” I made a face. “Maybe I’m wrong.” I sighed.
“Maybe I just said that because I wanted you to go off him. Maybe I’m jealous that you’re seeing someone.
” The words tripped out of my mouth uncomfortably and we both just stood there and stared at each other for a few seconds. “Say something, Lara.”
“I don’t know what to say, Parker.” She sounded exasperated. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I like you? Is that what you want to hear?”
“You like me?” My heart raced at her words and I grinned at her.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know.” She rolled her eyes at me, but I could see her face flushing as she tried to read me.
“This is hard for me, Parker. You’re confusing me.
You’re so hot and cold, and I just don’t know what you want from me.
What you think of me, you know? I just don’t understand you. ”
“I don’t understand me sometimes, either.
” I flashed her a small smile. “Come back with me to my place,” I asked her softly.
“We can talk.” I walked toward her. “I want us to be on the same page. I don’t want you to think I’m being hot and cold.
I like you as well, Lara,” I said and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. “I really do like you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently.
” I paused, not knowing what else to say.
I wasn’t comfortable talking about feelings and I honestly didn’t really know what I felt.
I knew I’d been unhappy. I knew I missed her.
I knew I’d felt guilty. I knew I wanted her in my life.
But aside from that, I didn’t know what I wanted.
I didn’t want to lie to her. I didn’t want to tell her things that weren’t true just because I thought she’d want to hear them.
I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t really know how I felt.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Parker.” She stumbled over her words hesitantly and I knew she wasn’t sure if she should come over.
“Please,” I asked her softly. “Just come over and let’s really talk and get over everything. I want everything to be normal between us again. We can watch a movie and eat ice cream. I know you love that.”
“You don’t want to watch a movie and eat ice cream,” she said with a smile.
“With you, I do,” I said with a nod. And I was being honest. I’d do anything in this moment just to be with her and make everything right in the world.
I needed everything to go back to the way it was.
I needed her to be okay with me. I needed to feel normal inside.
I was fed up with the anxiety and angst. That wasn’t who I was.
That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to feel this way.
And I knew the only way to get rid of it was for Lara to forgive me so we could move on with our friendship and continue as we were. That’s all I wanted and needed.
“Okay,” she said uncertainly. “I’ll come and watch a movie with you, if you let me choose the movie.”
“Oh God, you’re going to pick a chick flick, aren’t you?” I groaned, and she laughed.
“Hey, you’re the one who wants me to come over.”
“Fine.” I made a face. “Just nothing too icky.”
“We’ll see,” she said lightheartedly, and I felt my stomach settling slightly.
Things were starting to get back to normal.
She was laughing with me and looking me in the eyes.
I could tell that her icy exterior was melting and she was warming to me once again.
Everything in my world would be back to normal soon.
“Bridget Jones’s Diary? Really?” I groaned as I leaned back on the couch and stared at the TV screen. “That’s what we’re watching?”
“Hey, you’re lucky I’m here watching anything with you.” Lara shook her head and giggled slightly. “Mila thinks I’m crazy and I think I’m crazy, so you should thank your lucky stars.”
“You’re not crazy.” I laughed. “At least not crazier than any other girl.”
“Why, thanks, don’t I feel special.” Lara pouted at me and I leaned over to tickle her.
“You should feel special. You should feel very special,” I said as she giggled and pulled away from me.
“Parker, stop it.” She squealed as I continued to make her squirm.
“Why?” I asked her softly, my face close to hers as I continued to tickle her under the arms, enjoying being close to her.