Chapter 15 #4
“Because we’re meant to be watching this movie,” she said between laughs, her eyes bright as she gazed at me.
“You watch and I tickle. Seems like a fair deal,” I said, my face close to hers now. “Right?”
“No.” She shook her head as she gazed back at me. I stared at her lips and I knew what I wanted to do, though I was trying to stop myself from doing it.
“Why no?” I said as I leaned in closer, my lips a mere inch from hers.
“Parker, what are you doing?” she asked breathlessly, her eyes widening.
“Saying sorry,” I said before leaning in to kiss her.
Her lips were slightly parted as mine met hers and they tasted sweet as I pressed mine against hers.
I felt my body sinking into hers, melding into her in a way that felt so right.
My tongue entered her mouth quickly and I pushed her back against the couch so that I could adjust my position.
Lara kissed me back eagerly and I felt her tongue against mine as her hands fell to my shoulders.
We kissed deeply, passionately, wantonly, and my hands fell to her breasts and ran over them gently.
Our breathing was heavy and I didn’t want to pull away, but I knew I had to before I had her clothes off and she was naked on my couch.
“I hope my apology sufficed,” I said as I reluctantly pulled away from her a few seconds later.
“It did,” she squeaked out and licked her lips. She stared at me for a few seconds and then groaned. “What am I doing?” She shook her head, and I frowned.
“What are you talking about?” I could feel myself getting annoyed again. Was she mad that I’d kissed her? That she’d kissed me back?
“I just . . . I don’t know.” She bit down on her lower lip. “I’m not sure it was a good idea for me to come over and then to let you kiss me.” She sighed. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You’re hanging out with me and we’re having a fun, relaxing time,” I said and leaned back, pulling her into my arms. “Is there anything wrong with that?”
“No, yes—I don’t know.” She settled her head on my shoulder and sighed. “Why is this so hard?”
“I don’t know why I’m hard,” I joked. “Maybe because you’re here with me.”
“Parker!” She looked at me with an angry face for a few seconds and I froze, wondering if I’d gone too far.
Had I pushed my luck? Why had I let myself get too comfortable around her again so easily?
I wasn’t sure why I always felt the need to touch her and have my hands on her, but I just needed to feel that connection with her.
My body craved hers and not just in a sexual way.
It just wanted to be close to her. I just wanted to be close to her.
I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was going to be really pissed with myself if I’d ruined the moment already.
“Sorry?” I gave her my most innocent, sweet-boy face and she laughed.
“You’re not sorry.” She gave me a beguiling look, her face radiating happiness, and I laughed along with her, everything suddenly right in my world again. “And I don’t know if I want you to be sorry.”
“You enjoy my kisses,” I teased her, and she blushed. “Don’t worry, I enjoy your kisses as well.”
“You’re the most confusing man I’ve ever met in my life, Parker.” She shook her head. “You drive me crazy.”
“In a good way, I hope.”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Is there a good kind of crazy?”
“It depends.”
“On what?” she asked with a curious smile, and I let my fingers play with her hair.
“How good the sex is.” I started chuckling. “If the girl can rock my world, then she can be a little crazy. If she’s not doing much for me, she’d better be sane as hell.”
“Parker, that’s horrible.” She shook her head and twisted her body around to look at me. She folded her legs up onto the couch and poked me in the chest. “You’re really, really a bad guy—you know that, right?”
“Nah, I’m not,” I said and grabbed her fingers and held them. “I’m really not.”
“You are.” She smiled at me. “You really are.”
“I like to think I’m just honest.”
“We all like to think we’re honest. That doesn’t mean we can say whatever crap we want to and think we’re not going to offend anyone.”
“I’m not trying to offend anyone,” I said, then I looked at her for a few seconds. “Is that why you ignored me for the last couple of weeks? Did I offend you?”
“Parker.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I already told you I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“Liar,” I said to her, my eyes boring into hers with a challenge. “You were totally ignoring me.”
“I wasn’t. Would I be here if I was?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe you couldn’t resist me after seeing me at Mila’s today,” I joked, but I could see something in her expression changing.
I felt warning bells in my ears and I knew I needed to change the subject again swiftly before I brought the mood down.
“So, what have you been doing with yourself since I last saw you?”
“Not much.” She shrugged. “Working. Dating.”
“Ugh, I don’t need to hear about loser-Luke again.”
“He’s not a loser.” She shook her head at me and smiled slightly.
I wanted to tell her that yes, he was a loser, or at least the loser.
He was a loser because she was here with me right now, letting me kiss her and touch her and he was somewhere in his bedroom or bathroom wondering where he went wrong.
“Anyway . . . next. What else? Any good gossip?”
“What good gossip would I have?” She giggled. “Nothing much is going on with me.”
“Aww.” I gave her a rueful look, but inside I was happy. Nothing much going on meant she wasn’t doing much, which meant maybe she’d been thinking about me too, at least a little bit.
“Aww, nothing.” She laughed. “What about you? What have you been up to?”
“Oh, not that much. A few dates.” I almost groaned out loud as the words slipped out of my mouth. SHUT IT, Parker, I screamed inside.
“Just a few?” Lara teased me, though I couldn’t tell if she was masking her hurt.
I’d spoken to Ryker a few days before and he’d called me a fool for talking to Lara about other women.
Even if I thought of her as just a friend, or a friend with benefits, or a special friend with benefits.
He said he knew I wasn’t looking to get married, but that it was insensitive of me to think I could be with Lara and talk to her about other girls; especially because we’d been intimate now.
I’d been annoyed at his words, but I knew he was correct.
We were past the “just friends” stage now.
And even though I’d gone on a few dates, all I’d been able to think about was Lara.
“Haha, they weren’t really dates,” I lied, trying to backtrack.
“What were they, then?” She looked at me curiously and I could see that her eyes were more intense than normal.
“Nothing,” I said softly, not knowing what to say, how to get her to understand that I was in an awkward space.
I was feeling things I didn’t really comprehend or want to comprehend.
She was making me feel things, and I didn’t know how to define what we had.
I didn’t want to define it. I didn’t want anything to change between us. I didn’t want to let her go.
“Nothing?” Her expression looked sad suddenly and I pulled her onto my lap.
“I like you,” I whispered in her ear. “I like you and I just want to focus on that, if that’s okay?
” My hand slid down her body and to the sweet spot between her legs and rubbed gently.
She moaned slightly and looked me directly in the eyes.
I could see a million thoughts crossing through her mind as she stared at me and I couldn’t read a one of them.
I waited with bated breath for her to respond.
What was she thinking? What was going through her head?
I just wanted to know. I wanted to know how she felt.
What she wanted. Yet I didn’t want to know.
Not really. Knowing could ruin everything, and I couldn’t stand for her to be out of my life again.
“I want to make love to you, Lara. Slowly. Quickly. Deeply. Forcefully. Teasingly.” I leaned forward and nibbled on her earlobe as I continued to rub her.
She shifted on my lap back and forth and I knew she was getting as excited as I was.
“I want to make you mine. In all ways possible. I want to take you on the couch. In my bed. In the shower. On the kitchen counter. On the rug. On the balcony. I want you on your knees. On your back. Riding me. On my face. I want all of you. I want you. I want to drive you as crazy as you’ve made me.
What do you say?” I paused then and waited.
Waited for the answer that could either make or break this moment.