Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Edith
I wake to a cool breeze dusting over my bare breasts from the open window, the sound of birds in the trees a beautiful melody.
The feeling within me is something I can’t rationalise. The ache in the pit of my stomach is no longer there, and I feel lighter than I have done in so long.
I know it has everything to do with the man lying beside me.
I hadn’t known what to expect from him when I let those words fall from my mouth, but I never thought I’d have been where I am now.
I’d let my insecurities get the better of me and feared the worst when in fact there had been nothing to fear at all.
I turn my head to face him and find his eyes already on me. A look of contentment covers his features as he props his head upon his hand. The slight tug of his lips causes his eyes to sparkle and I reach out to run my fingers through his beard.
Once we’d arrived back at his last night, we never took our hands off each other. From the hallway to the stairs, we’d stripped each other bare as we made our way to the bedroom like two teenagers who couldn’t get enough of each other. He’d devoured my body like it was his last chance, and I’d pleaded for his touch in every way you can imagine.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispers, taking my hand and pressing a tender kiss on my palm.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to know that watching you is the best thing in the world.” He circles his fingertip around the mole on my collarbone. “And waking to have you next to me is an even better feeling.” Moving down, he does the same around my hard nipple and I quickly fall into his seduction .
“I woke up thinking last night was all a dream.” My skin covers in chills as he trails down the line of my stomach, my heart picking up speed as my whole body awakens under him, his voice low. “Then I saw you, laying here like an angel. And I knew that beautiful dream”—he circles my navel and travels lower still—“is in fact, my reality.”
My back arches, and I press my mouth to his when he sinks his finger between my thighs. With each teasing slide over my sensitive parts, my body comes alive. Every nerve ending stands to attention, and I deepen the kiss, entwining my fingers through the thick locks of his hair.
“What would my girl like for breakfast,” he whispers.
I lower my hand to place it over his, keeping him where I want him as I release a breathless moan. “Just you.”
He grins against my lips. “You can have me later. I need to feed you first.”
He removes his fingers from between my legs and a dissatisfied rumble leaves my throat.
“You’re evil.”
He raises a brow. “That’s not what you said last night. Then, I was a God. An animal. And wait, what was the other one?” He’s taunting me. “Oh that was it, a sexy fucking beast.”
I laugh because he’s not wrong. “You loved me calling you every last one.”
“That I did.” He leans down again, a breath apart from my lips. “And I loved having you in my arms the entire time.” He kisses me once more, teasing his tongue with mine.
“Fuck, Edie. I can’t get enough of your mouth.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” I smile between soft kisses, slowly lowering my hand as I glide it over his stomach. “Which is why we should stay here a little longer.”
He grabs my wrist and pins it to the mattress. “You’re not playing fair.”
“I’m offering myself to you on a plate here.”
He chuckles. “I’m aware, but I need”—Kiss—“to let”—Kiss—“Milo out.”
As he goes to move, I grab his face, kissing harder, amused at the groan that leaves him, but I lose all power when he pushes back the covers to get out.
I watch his every move, gazing over the fine lines and muscles of his naked body as he slips into his shorts. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I remember last night. He really is a magnificent creature.
Turning, he finds me watching him and a wicked grin spreads across his face. “Stop looking at me like you want to eat me and get up.”
“I’m happy here thanks. I’m enjoying the view.”
Strolling over to the end of the bed, he quickly rips the covers off me, grabs my ankles and pulls me down towards him. I shriek with laughter and sit myself up, right before he cups the back of my neck and once again presses his mouth to mine like he can’t get enough.
I shift myself up on my knees and wrap my arms around his neck as he circles my waste and—like we did for hours last night—we just kiss as if we are making up for all the years we haven’t been able to.
“You need to stop taunting me, Miss Kennedy. Otherwise, we’re never going to leave this room.”
“Suits me fine. Where do you want me?”
“Downstairs.” He grins. “I’m going down to let Milo out and get us some breakfast.”
“I don’t know where my jammies are,” I whisper, knowing they are somewhere between the front door and the bedroom.
He unwraps my arms from his neck and kisses my wrist before heading over to his set of draws. “Wear this.”
He hands me a white T-shirt before leaving the room and heading downstairs, all the while I’m left with a grin on my face and a feeling inside that makes me giddy.
Getting off the bed, I slip it on and head over to the full-length mirror of the built-in wardrobe. I look tired, yet my cheeks are flushed. But what has a wicked grin spreading across my lips are the red marks from Joel that decorate my skin like he's marked me as his and is not afraid to show it.
I want that more than anything.
But even now, after everything I said last night, I’m still waiting for that ball to drop—to have everything come crashing down around me because this all seems too good to be true.
Pushing that concern aside, I go to the bathroom to freshen up before heading downstairs. I give my hellos to Milo, who has slowly ambled over to me, looking older by the day, and I stroke his shiny coat before he returns to his bed.
My eyes soon drift to Joel, though, who is in the open plan kitchen humming along to the radio. His muscles flex with each movement he makes as he gets two mugs from the cupboard and starts to prepare our morning brew. I walk up behind him and circle my arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder.
“What’s for breakfast. ”
He turns in my arms. “I can make you whatever you want.”
I raise a brow, knowing that as adorable as he is, he’s not exactly Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen. “Make? Oh lord. You and food prep never mix. I’ll just have some toast.”
“I’m getting better, I’ll have you know. It’s amazing what you can learn off the internet.”
“The internet, huh?”
“Everyone has to start somewhere. I wasn’t sure if there was a dummies guide to cooking.”
“God, you’re adorable.” I leave his hold and grab my cup of tea, sitting myself at the breakfast bar while he loads the toaster with bread.
“I know, right? Soon I’ll be doing three-course meals from scratch.”
“Well, I’ll look forward to having my dinner ready when I come home from work then.” My careless announcement of my hopes for the future hit me full force.
I know how I want this to end, to progress, but does Joel? Last night may have revealed a truth between us, but that doesn’t mean he’s on the same page.
When you’ve wanted something for so long and made yourself believe you’ll never have it, it’s hard not to get carried away when you finally do. And then there is the added pressure of the fact some people are not going to see us the way we want them to. Happiness will be a dirty word for the likes of Lorna where we are concerned: I’ll never deserve it and Joel shouldn’t be able to have it with anyone else
“Where’s your mind gone, Edie?” he asks softly.
Looking up from my cup, I know he can sense that I’m two steps away from falling into overdrive, but instead of hiding from it, I speak out like I promised I would.
“What is this, Joel? Where do we go from here? I mean, last night was more than amazing, and I meant what I said when I said I wanted you, but is this what you really want? Because if it’s not—"
I both love and hate the way he cuts me off with a kiss.
“I want you, Edie,” he says with conviction, grabbing my jaw with his hands. “This can be whatever you want it to be but I’m hoping it’s more than last night. I want to wake beside you. I want cosy nights in with you snuggled against me. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street. I want to laugh with you all day every day because no one else makes me laugh as you do. I want to tell the world that you are mine. ”
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and smile, my heart dancing with his words.
“I want it all. And I want it with you.”
“I want that, too,” I whisper.
“Then why do your eyes tell me you’re afraid?”
“Because I am,” I admit. “This could jeopardise everything we already are.”
“Or it could make it even more amazing.” He smiles. “I want you, Edie.”
Over the years, all I’ve ever known is what it feels like to be let down or hurt. From school right through until adulthood, I’ve been pushed and pulled, chased or cheated on and no matter how hard I’ve tried to be strong and stop it, it’s taken me down when I’ve least expected it. I know I’m a good person. I know I can achieve things because I’ve done that with my business. But thinking it and believing it are two very different things. It doesn’t matter how many times people tell me I’m worthy of the things I have in life. It doesn’t matter how many things I’ve achieved along the way because no matter how hard I try to fight them, the people who have brought me down are still very much in the back of my mind, whispering their words of failure to me. Deep down, that ball of insecurity starts rolling and before long, I’m once again on a never-ending ride of self-doubt .
“This will affect a lot of people before we’ve even started,” I whisper. Disappointment covers his features, and I know my words are not what he wants to hear.
“It’s none of Lorna’s damn business.”
“But she’s our biggest challenge. She won’t make this easy for us.”
He sighs, tucking the hair behind my ear. “She can say whatever she wants to me, but when it comes to you, that changes things. This is about me and you, not us and her.”
I understand what he’s saying, but at the same time, I know Lorna better than anyone. She is my biggest fear and always will be. If we are going to do this, then I need to be a lot stronger before I go into battle, and only Joel can help with that.
“Even so, can we just take it slow and keep this between us for a little while?”
He studies me a second before he releases a steady breath. “I don’t want to keep you a secret, Edith.”
I link my arms around his neck. “I don’t want that either, but I just want to enjoy us for a little bit longer before we tell the world. Not only that, but I also need to get my head around it. Like, one day you’re my best friend and the next— ”
“I know how to make you come multiple times in a matter of hours.”
I chuckle. “Well, there is that. But you understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”
He runs his finger down my nose, over my lips and lifts my chin higher. “I know your mysterious mind is on a workout again.” He kisses me softly. “But if keeping you to myself is what is needed then you have my word.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He kisses me deeply, taking away all my fears and wrapping me in the cocoon of him. If I could stay like this forever I would because there is something about this man that makes me feel more protected than ever, which is crazy considering how anxious I feel when it comes to telling the world how much I want and need him. But in order to gain my strength, I know that keeping us a secret, for now, is what is needed.
Suddenly, I’m distracted by the strong scent of burning and I realise what it is. “The toast is burning.”
“I don’t care.” He kisses against my lips.
“And there you are wanting to make my breakfast when you can’t even toast bread.”
“Shut up and kiss me, woman.”
But we are soon separated when the sound of the smoke alarm pierces our ears and Milo starts to bark. I open the back door for him to go outside, laughing my head off as I watch Joel wafting a tea towel under the smoke alarm to try and stop it, cursing for it to shut up. I take the crisp, black toast out of the toaster, noticing how high the timer is. “That explains it.”
“What?”
“You have your timer on high. You must have knocked it or something. Either that or you really don’t know anything.”
He stops wafting the tea towel and looks at me in complete surprise. “I know I can’t cook for shit, but I know how to use a damn toaster.”
I shrug. “Clearly you don’t. You are your very own version of Hell’s Kitchen.”
The look of pure shock on his face has me laughing out loud just as the alarm stops. “Take that back.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Nope. Not today.”
“Right. That’s it.” There’s devilment in his eyes, and I suddenly want to play whatever game he has in mind too, regretting it instantly when I see him twirling the tea towel in his hand and heading towards me.
“Joel, no.”
“Are you going to take it back?”
A nervous laugh leaves the back of my throat. “Never. ”
“Then I suggest you start running.” Sure enough, I’m soon screaming and running to escape as he comes at me and whips the tea towel at my bare legs. I run into the living room area with him fast behind me, heading around the floor to ceiling stone wall that stands alone in the centre—dividing the two rooms. But I scream with laughter again when he realises what I’m doing and cuts me short by coming around the opposite side. I turn, leap up onto the sofa and run along it before jumping down the other side, his deep laugh behind me. As I turn to head back out of the living room, I stumble and fall on absolutely nothing, getting caught out when the tea towel whips right across my backside. I yelp as I take another hit and now that he has me in one place, the playful blows come over and over. I can’t catch my breath as I’m laughing so hard.
I turn, holding my hands out in surrender. “Okay. Okay. You win.”
“Repeat after me: I, Edith Kennedy...” He stands over me, his face beaming as he now twirls the towel between his fingers
“I, Edith Kennedy.”
“Am sorry for what I said...”
“Am not sorry for anything.” I laugh.
“Unbelievable. ”
In a second, his strong body comes down to cover mine, his hands pinning my arms above my head as I try and play fight him off. His intense gaze keeps me captive with great intent. My heart races for all the reason he makes it, and I try hard to catch my breath after my laughter softens.
“What are you thinking?” I whisper.
“That maybe I should smack your arse more often.”
“Wow, that whole ‘let’s take things slow’ has just taken a strange turn.”
“Now you know how I feel when your mind runs wild. You practically give me whiplash.”
I burst out laughing, not even offended. “Well, that’s fucking rude.”
“My mother always told me to speak the truth.” He grinds himself against me, pressing his erection into my thigh as he growls. “And I don’t want breakfast right now.”
“Then what do you want?”
A wicked grin spreads across his face. “I want to finish what we started upstairs.”
“Which is?”
He slips a finger between my thighs. “With my head between your legs.”
“Oh?” I act surprised. “And what changed your mind, Mr Fitzpatrick?”
“Your laugh,” he says, a breath apart from my lips. “I fucking love hearing you laugh.”
His mouth crashes against mine, and I’m once again lost in everything that he is as he takes me under. Keeping us a secret may be what I suggested, but I know when I’m around him it’s going to be far harder than I thought because not only can he not keep his hands off me, I want them on me just as much. And that is what scares me more.