Chapter 28
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Edith
I t’s been a few days since we returned from Manchester, and I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling. A feeling I can’t even rationalise fills my heart.
For so long I’ve dreamt of hearing those words, and though things had felt they were falling into place, the onslaught of what Leon had done and how he’d made me feel, had covered me like a cold shower.
It had been wrong of me to make Joel feel as though I doubted him, but I couldn’t not speak on my fears. And when it comes to fear, now is no different. This time, though, anxiety has been simmering in the pit of my stomach with the knowledge that we can’t keep what we are a secret forever. But right now, nothing can sabotage what we have by us staying on this side of the barrier. And I’d give anything to stay this side forever.
I know I need to stand tall and be firm, but my stepmother has ways of bringing me down like no one else ever could: years of repetition from her verbal blows, humiliation and deceit; countless hours of being made to feel unwelcome in my own home, in my family; and endless declarations when I was a child about how she loved Sophia and not me.
I could be pushed about at school and called names and I’d deal with it as best as I could, but when I’d gone home to a place that was supposed to be my security, the last thing I’d needed was another bully bringing me down even more. That shit stings and has stayed with me. It’s festered in the thin cracks of the wounds that are not yet healed, waiting to boil over and suffocate me in dread once again. Lorna has always loved her mind games, and I’d been the weaker one out of everyone.
On my eighth birthday, Lorna had snatched my Barbie doll off me and ripped its head off because if my sister couldn’t play with it then neither could I. My father had branded me ungrateful when he learned of what I’d done to my toy. Of course, Lorna had played the innocent—she always would. So, I’d taken the punishment and apologised for breaking my present when I’d had no reason to.
A day later, Sophia had her very own doll, and I had nothing.
After that, the kicks just kept on coming, and the only time I’d made sure to smile was around my dad before I went to bed and cried myself to sleep every night because the woman who’d promised my dad she’d love me stopped after a year.
With a heavy sigh, I push the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach aside and look down at Milo, who is curled up in his bed next to the fireplace. His big puppy-dog eyes look up at me as if he’s awaiting answers to the questions that I can’t give him. Our highs of being away for the weekend were brought down a little on our return after Daniel said Milo hadn’t been himself.
Playtime with Teddy has now come to a stop as he spends more time resting than he does being bothered about what’s going on around him. I can see dread in Joel’s eyes every time he looks at him, so I hadn’t had to think twice when he asked me to look after Milo after work as he had a late meeting in Leeds.
“Are you missing your daddy, Milo?” I ask. His only response is a little whine as if he knows what I’ve asked.
“Yeah, me too.”
Looking at the clock, I see it’s almost getting on for ten. The sunsets of June now fill the sky with vibrant colours as it gets ready for summer, and tonight is no different. Deciding to check on Joel to see where he’s at, I head into the kitchen for my phone and send him a voice text in case he’s driving.
“Hey. You nearly home? We miss you.”
His voice note is instant. “Where is Daisy?”
“Oh, hello to you, too. And here was me thinking I was your number one.”
“Ha! Answer the question.”
I grin and press the microphone icon to respond. “She’s working. Now answer mine.”
“Excellent. I’m in Skipton about to get petrol. Are you still at yours?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Be naked when I get home.”
I laugh, shaking my head. The man is an animal, but I’m sure as hell not complaining .
“Anything else I can do for you, sir? Food. Something to drink.”
“I’m stopping to get food for us. Just be naked.”
Another one comes through straight after. “Oh, and I love you.”
Butterflies take flight in my stomach, I reply with my own declaration as I head up to take a quick shower before he gets home. We share our time in each other’s houses as we’ve always done to keep the routine as normal as possible and to avoid the questions. Although, I’m convinced Daisy knows more than she is letting on because of the way she looks at me and grins without saying a word.
Once out of the shower, I dry off and slip on my silk, navy robe and spray myself with a dash of my favourite perfume.
I hear Milo bark a couple of times. Joel must be home already.
Loosening the band from my hair, I run my fingers through it and head downstairs, eager and excited to see him.
“You’re home early, Mr Fitzpatrick. Therefore, I’m not naked,” I sing entering the kitchen but coming to an abrupt halt. Leon is sitting at my kitchen table like he’d never left, raking his eyes up and down my body as anger flares up mine.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap, wrapping my robe around me tighter.
“I need to talk to you, Edith.”
“Breaking and entering now, too?”
“It’s not breaking and entering when you have the implement to get you inside.”
My eyes widen, and I have to contain my rage when he tosses a door key onto the table—his door key, the one I clearly fucking forgot about when I threw him out. Either that or he’s had one cut which wouldn’t surprise me.
“I’m sorry, am I not the person you were expecting?” He grins, but I don’t say anything. Not only do I not want to speak to him, but I’m also frightened of what I may or may not say. “I’m guessing Lorna doesn’t know you’re fucking Joel?”
My stomach drops. “Who I’m fucking is none of anyone’s damn business. And it’s not Joel.”
My jaw clenches at my stupidity. Then again, I hadn’t realised I needed to check every person who enters my house with a key.
“Well, it can’t be Daniel considering he’s currently playing Go Fish with Teddy in the Craven.”
“What do you want, Leon?” I raise my voice, wanting him to say whatever it is that’s brought him here and go. He stands from his seat and I hope it’s an indication that he is going to leave, but instead, he heads to the cupboard next to the fridge and gets out the bottle of vodka that Daisy bought last week, helping himself and drinking out of the bottle—just like he always had. It used to drive her crazy, and I never used to think anything of it but now, I understand her frustration because watching him makes me want him to choke on it.
“I came here to talk.”
“Then say what you have to say then leave.”
“I need a character reference, and I thought you could help me out.”
“Excuse me?” I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing or if I’ve heard right.
“I need your help, Edith.”
I take a step towards him, my blood boiling with his audacity as I try and get my head around all of this. “You want me to give you a character reference? Me. After everything you’ve put me through, you want me to express what a wonderful, reliable, respectable man you are?”
“I know how this looks, but I was set up.”
I’m shaking my head before I’ve even responded. Why the hell would I do this for him when there is nothing respectable or loyal about him? “No. I can’t.”
“Edith, I could go down for this! ”
There’s panic in his voice now, but I won’t lead people to believe he’s a great man when he’s anything but. And if Lorna is so god damn good at her job then why the hell has he come to me? “It’s just a few words.”
“And I will not lie for you!” I yell back, my body now trembling. “I don’t care what you’ve done or what you haven’t. I couldn’t care less if you’ve been set up or not. I wouldn’t give a shit if I never saw you again and, quite frankly, I’d love that more than anything. But hear me when I say I will never do anything for you when all you did to me was rip me apart. I trusted you. I loved you. And you treated me like a fool. So, for that, you can go to fucking hell.”
His jaw clenches as the silence between us becomes thick. Any minute now, Joel will be home, and I don’t know who I’m more concerned about: him seeing Leon here or how Leon will respond to Joel’s reaction.
He shows no sign of leaving when he shakes his head and turns away from me, swigging more vodka. “Is this because I’m asking or because Lorna is helping me?”
I could tell him all the reasons until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t change a thing.
I keep my voice low, but my tone tells him I’m still mad. “It makes no difference. The answer is still no.”
He turns around quickly. “I bet you wouldn’t think twice if it was Fitz asking.”
“Joel wouldn’t have to ask because he wouldn’t get involve with anything that would bring trouble to his door.”
“Right, because he’s Mr fucking perfect?”
“Because he’s a good man!”
“Of course he is,” he scoffs, drinking more of the vodka before slamming the bottle on the counter in frustration.
He may have got me rattled, but I’m thriving on the fact I’ve stood my ground as he looks at me like he’s analysing his next move. Yet my feeling of triumph comes to a blistering halt with his ice-cold words.
“You know, I wasn’t the only one who treated you like a fool. Sophia did her fair share of that, too.”
“Sophia has nothing to do with this.”
He tilts his head and grins. “But she had everything to do with Caroline.”
Caroline—the woman he’d cheated on me with; the one who’s stared back at me many times when I’ve closed my eyes and seen them in my bed.
Why would Sophia have anything to do with Caroline?
“I don’t understand,” I say, only it comes out as a whisper because I’m suddenly terrified of what is going to fall from his mouth. The smirk on his face sickens me as he stands there with his hands in his pockets looking casual as fuck.
“Sophia was the one who introduced me to her.” He steps towards me. “Your cherished sister knew all about my affair.”
My blood runs cold. My stomach twists, and I shake my head not wanting to believe a word he is saying. Sophia had been many things, but she wouldn’t have done that to me.
“No,” I whisper. “You’re lying.”
He walks towards me and is so close that I have to step back with each step he gets closer. “I’m not,” he says coldly as my back hits the wall. He cages me in, his arms pressing against the wall. “I’ve nothing to lose any more so why the fuck would I lie?”
“Because that is your forte!”
“Well for once in my life, I’m talking truth. Sophia knew all along and she was laughing behind your back just like everyone else who knew—even Lorna. I bet you were the topic of their mother and daughter lunches many a time.” He’s grinning like Batman’s Joker as nausea swirls my stomach. “Makes me wonder now if Joel knew, too, given the fact she was his wife.”
“He would never lie to me.”
“You sure about that? ”
Bile clogs my throat as tears burn my eyes. Every ounce of hurt anyone can feel hits me hard because not only was I lied to, I’ve also been the laughing-stock.
She knew. All that time, she knew. So did Joel know, too?
Oh, God…
My legs are suddenly unsteady, and I grip my stomach, trying not to vomit as acid burns my insides. I’ve let the guilt over sleeping with Joel eat away at me when all along Sophia had been lying to my face and cheering Leon on from the fucking side lines.
“Why do you want to hurt me so much?” I whisper.
“Truth is, I don’t. I just want to talk to you, Edith.” he whispers. “We used to talk for hours when we first got together. Don’t you remember?”
“What’s the point in remembering everything that was a lie? Now get out.”
“But there’s so much more I need to say—”
His words are cut short and before I can register anything else, Leon is being ripped from me, everything happening so fast.