Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
JULIUS
My feet barely stepped into the house, and what used to feel like mine no longer felt that way. I heard them even before I fully stepped inside. I should’ve called out or announced myself, allowing them a second to compose themselves if necessary.
I didn’t.
I was full of I should’ve…
However, if I’d given them a warning, then I’d never actually know what it looked like when I wasn’t there, and I needed to know. I needed to know that more than anything. Even if it finished me off. With purpose, I walked in quietly, and that was my first mistake.
I saw everything.
Her first, though.
Her back was to me, standing at the sink as if nothing in the world had changed. As if I hadn’t just clawed my way out of hell to get back to her. She was the only thing that kept me from snapping completely, and her looking normal felt like a betrayal.
I saw Kraven behind her. He stood way too fucking close.
For a second, my brain didn’t process what I was seeing.
It just stalled, refusing to register that this was real.
My eyes dropped, glaring at his hand. It was on her stomach in a familiar and comfortable way, leading me to believe it had been there before.
Lots of times.
Something inside me turned cold when I’d been feeling nothing but heat and rage for the past month. It was the kind of cold that shot right through me with such force it almost knocked me on my ass.
I didn’t move.
I didn’t breathe.
Not wanting to disturb them.
If I did, I knew exactly what would happen next. I’d stomp across the kitchen, throwing his ass through the fucking wall, and I wouldn’t stop until nothing was left of him to touch her with. My body seized to the point of pain. Neither of them had seen me yet.
She didn’t feel me…
That realization was the hardest pill to swallow, and it gave me one more second to see the truth. She didn’t pull away, wanting his hands on her. The sharp twist in my chest was deep enough that it took a moment to recognize it for what it was.
It wasn’t just anger or rage. It was something far worse, something that felt a hell of a lot like being replaced. My breathing slowed instead of sped up. It was the only way I was going to get through what happened next without losing my shit.
My vision tunneled as he stated, “You know what they say: it’s a thin line between love and hate.”
It was what I needed, jerking me back to the present as I spewed, “I guess that’s one way you can put it, motherfucker.”
Hearing my sharp tongue, Isla jumped, but Kraven wasn’t caught off guard like she was. My hands curled into fists at my sides. Every muscle in my body went tight, coiled, ready to snap.
Yet still, I didn’t move an inch. He hadn’t broken eye contact, and neither had I.
The silence stretched too long. Everything that needed to be said between us was already there without having to say one word.
He put me in jail, and now he stood behind her like he had a right to be there—like he’d earned it, and I’d lost it.
“So this is what I come home to?” I announced. A humorless laugh almost came out of me, but I swallowed it down.
Isla’s composure changed almost instantly. My question yanked her out of whatever daze she was in, and it did the same thing to me. It was how I noticed she was wearing one of my shirts, calming me down almost immediately.
I was there with her…
She shook her head, smiling for a second before running into my arms. I didn’t think twice about welcoming her into them.
Kraven grimaced, not trying to hide it. I picked her up off the ground, closing my eyes to take her in completely.
I’d been waiting for this for the past month.
She was no longer mad at me for leaving her.
I felt it in the way she was clinging to me.
I didn’t want Kraven to ruin this moment between us, so I did what came naturally. I flicked him off, then carried her up the stairs to my bedroom.
Fuck him.
She was all that mattered, and I’d deal with him later. He didn’t object, though a huge part of me expected him to. She wrapped her legs around my waist, letting me have my way with her.
“God,” she muttered on our way up the stairs, “I missed you so much.”
It was music to my ears.
ISLA
I closed my eyes, waiting for I don’t know what.
His warmth only intensified the closer we got to his bedroom, simply convincing me that I’d combust at any moment.
Being in his arms again assaulted all my senses, causing shivers to course down my spine.
It was the same reaction he always provoked out of me.
It didn’t matter how much time passed. We shared this connection that couldn’t be broken. It was in such a different way from his brother and me. They both captured pieces of my heart, which was interesting, considering they were constantly piecing it back together.
I held on tighter to Julius as he kicked the door shut behind him before leaning against it.
Pitifully, I tried to hold in all my emotions that threatened to spill, comforting myself with the truths that revealed themselves to him without having to speak.
I knew he felt it. There was no way he couldn’t feel the effect he always had over me.
His touch.
His aura.
His mere presence.
Home.
“God,” he echoed my tone. “I missed you too.”
My breath hitched as I shuddered, weakening.
I’d built this wall since he was gone. It was the only way I could stay away from Kraven, and right then and there, it all came tumbling down at our feet.
Everything I’d been holding in was crumbling.
I didn’t want to make this about me because it wasn’t.
I never imagined this would be my life, stuck between two guys who refused to let me go.
“How?” I asked.
“Marco,” he replied.
I gasped, pulling away to look at him. Once I was, I put two and two together.
“He’s the man you’ve been dealing for.”
“Mouse—”
“No.” I adamantly shook my head. “You don’t get to lie to me anymore. Not after all this.”
“I never lied to you.”
“Not telling me the truth is the same as lying.”
“There was no reason for you to know. There still isn’t.”
I jerked back, shifting out of his arms. “No reason?” I countered, suddenly upset. “I can give you a hundred reasons. Where would you like me to start?”
“You really want to do this right now?”
I peered deep into his eyes. “Us not doing this right now was what got you arrested in the first place.”
“No, Isla, what got me arrested was the man whose arms you were in when I walked in.”
I frowned, once again caught off guard. “You know?”
“Of course I do.”
“How?”
He cautiously eyed me up and down before arguing, “The same way you did, yet you still let him touch you like he isn’t to blame.”
“That’s not true!”
“Is that right?” he baited, cocking his head to the side. “It didn’t look that way to me.”
“That’s because you only walk in on moments that are innocent but seem otherwise.”
“Was it innocent when he was fucking you on the stairs?”
I winced, and he instantly apologized, “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did.”
He inhaled a deep breath in the same way he always did, letting me know his patience was wearing thin. I knew better than to poke the bear, but I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. It was what got us into this whole mess. He needed to know he could talk to me without me judging him.
Following up exactly the way I assumed he would, he questioned, “Do you know?” His gaze shifted toward my stomach.
“Do I know what?”
“Don’t make me say it, Mouse.”
I shook my head. “No.”
He placed his hand there, searching for truth. “You think it’s mine?”
I winced again, hating that I was hurting him. “I’m not sure.”
He slightly nodded, thinking about it for a moment.
In a stern voice, he called me out. “Do you want it to be?”
I swallowed hard, unsure what to say or do. I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. My head spun in a whirlwind of emotions as I battled my heart.
My eyes followed the quick movement of his strong arms as they came around my body. Skimming the sides of my ribs to place his hands on the wall behind me. He caged me in against his body, his scent, his heat, which was comforting and tormenting all at once.
The closer he got to me, the more I wanted to feel him everywhere. Yearning to be soothed by his touch.
He didn’t.
If he touched me, we’d both get burned in the flames that always surrounded us.
I changed the subject. “How did you know I knew?”
“Because I know you,” he emphasized, getting closer to my face.
I could feel him grinning, knowing he was the cause of the rapid rhythm beating against his chest. His warmth washed over me.
I had no words left. He rendered me speechless.
All I had were emotions spilling out. The floodgates opened, letting out everything I held in so deeply. Tears began to stream down my face.
His hand rose to the side of my cheek. “You know I hate seeing you cry. Don’t waste your tears on me.”
I knew why. I just didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t want to admit what had shifted or who had caused it. His shirt, which I was wearing, slipped slightly off my shoulder, the fabric too big and loose. I hadn’t meant to put it on. I just did.
Maybe I felt he was coming home?
“Do you hate me, Mouse?”
“I could never hate you, Julius, but I was really mad at you for leaving me.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m just happy that you’re back.” I slid out of his hold and spoke more truth, trying to answer his question in the only way I could. “I’m only eighteen. You’re only nineteen.”
“I know how old we are, Isla.”
“I can barely take care of myself.”
I was so confused. My mind raced with thoughts of the future. Question after question tore through my mind. I couldn’t breathe.
Seeing my dismay, he stated, “We’ll figure it out.”
“How are you not freaking out?” Unable to control my reckless emotions, I was at my wits’ end. The thread I was hanging onto ripped in half, and I couldn’t, for the life of me, find any comfort in what he was saying.
Except this was Julius Knightly. He wasn’t just a random boy. A random one-night stand. This was my best friend.
He’s my best friend.
I yanked my hair back, wanting to rip it out of my head. “All I keep thinking is that I’m only eighteen years old. How on earth can I take care of a baby?”
“I can—”
“No! Selling drugs is not a career. You can’t do that ever again.”
“All I’m saying is that you’re not alone in this. I know it may feel like that right now, but we’ll figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere. You’re just scared, and I understand.”
“How are you not?”
“We’ll make it work.”
“And Kraven?”
“Fuck him.”
“Julius, it might be—”
“A baby’s always a blessing. Regardless of how much of an inconvenience it could be.”
I sighed deeply, trying to gather my emotions for a second. “I’m sorry I can’t see past how much this would mess up our futures more than they already are.”
He stepped toward me, and to my surprise, I didn’t back away from him. Since I didn’t, he quickly reached over and caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers.
“The only thing we can do right now is prove that I’m the father.”
I blurted, “And if you aren’t?”
He didn’t react, almost like he’d been waiting for me to say that to him.
“No matter what,” he expressed, leaning into my ear, “I love you, Mouse, and don’t you ever forget that.”
I wouldn’t.
I couldn’t.
Meaning it from the bottom of my heart, I repeated, “I love you too.”