Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
ISLA
We didn’t speak after that. Julius was exhausted, and I was too. We passed out pretty quickly. I think our adrenaline had been sky high, and once we saw one another, it crashed. What goes up must come down, and that is exactly what happened.
I slept solid, and there was no pretending I didn’t, and he was the same. We woke up in the same position we fell asleep in. I was still in his arms. My head was on his chest while my leg was draped across his. I was basically using him as a human pillow the way I always did.
By the time I woke up, Julius was already awake, aimlessly staring out the window.
“You alright?” I asked, angling my chin on his chest to look up at him.
He smiled down at me. “Yeah.”
Trying to resume some normalcy and feeling as if we both needed it, I asked, “What sorts of fun stuff do you have planned for us today?”
He grinned, brushing the hair away from my face. “First, I thought I’d feed you, and maybe if you’re a really good girl, I’ll take you to all your favorite places.”
“Huh, and to what do I owe the honor?”
“I figured we could both use a break today.”
“Is that your way of saying you’re going to kidnap me?”
He smirked. “Maybe.”
“Or we can stay in bed all day.”
“I do love these sleepovers.”
“Right? Just think about it.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
He sighed. “I just want out of this house with you today. You think you can do that for me?”
Joking, I sassed, “I guess I can fit you in.”
Not hesitating, he remarked, “Barely.” Then he winked at me.
I giggled, sounding so foreign coming out of my mouth. I felt like I hadn’t laughed, truly laughed since he left. We went from friends to flirting to lovers like it was the easiest thing in the entire world.
It felt natural.
Simple.
Unable to hold it in any longer, I blurted, “Julius, what are we doing?”
“Right now, you’re on top of me, wearing my shirt, and I couldn’t be happier.”
I bit back a smile. “You know what I mean.”
“Isla, if you want to have a serious conversation, then I’m going to need you to put some clothes on. All I can focus on is how much I want to get lost in you.”
“That’s very caveman of you. Can you please focus for five minutes?”
“As much as it pains me to say this, I’m going to need you to get off me. I can’t think straight with you like this. You’re like a present I want to unwrap, and after the month I’ve had, I deserve you. You’re so fucking gorgeous.”
I beamed. “You always know the right things to say.” I jumped off the bed and grabbed his hoodie off the floor. After slipping it on, I turned to look at him.
“Is this more of what you had in mind?”
“Not really, but it’ll do.”
After he slid his gym shorts on, he sat against the headboard while I perched on the edge of the bed.
“Why so far away?” I baited.
“If I go near you, then one thing leads to another, and you know… When was the last time you left this place?”
“Is that your way of asking me if I’ve hung out with Kraven?”
He didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. His solid composure spoke for him.
“I’ve spent a lot of time alone.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Would you prefer the alternative?”
He abruptly stood. “I’d prefer to have spent it with you.”
I guess this conversation is over.
After we got dressed, we made our way downstairs.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous to run into Kraven.
I knew Julius hadn’t because I didn’t hear any screaming or holes being put in the walls.
I wanted to believe it was a positive sign, but I knew better.
It probably just meant that Kraven wasn’t home, and he took off somewhere.
Anytime Julius was at the house, Kraven avoided this place, so this wasn’t new. If anything, this seemed like our normal routine. I wasn’t naive enough to believe this wouldn’t come to a head, though, for the day, I could pretend.
I wanted to spend time with Julius. It’d been so long since we were together yet alone with one another. We didn’t say much at breakfast, but I caught him glancing at my stomach a few times. Once we finished, we walked over to the park to feed the ducks.
It was beautiful out. The day was perfect, and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it or with whom.
JULIUS
I was doing this for her and for myself. The expression on her face was worth making my way back to her. I watched as she walked over the wooden bridge in the center of the flower garden to get a better view of all the flowers and roses.
Her enticing, bright green eyes glanced back at me over her shoulder, and I couldn’t gather a thought. The bright sun heightened her features, emphasizing the freckles across her nose and cheeks.
She’s stunning.
All these emotions crept to the forefront of my mind, and I couldn’t control any of them. Isla didn’t look like my best friend, but like the woman who was pregnant with my child. She was gorgeous, with her long red hair flowing loosely around her face. I’d seen Isla in all forms.
Happy.
Sad.
Devastated.
Excited.
She stood against the railing with her lips slightly parted, and I wanted to know what she was thinking and especially what she was feeling. My feet moved on their own accord until I suddenly stood behind her. Her breathing hitched as soon as she felt my chest against her back.
She didn’t turn around.
She didn’t move.
I felt the heat of her body burning into me more and more with each second that passed between us.
Leaning in, I was just inches away from the back of her neck, letting my breath brush against her ear.
I sensed her eyes following the movement of my strong arms as they came around her body.
Skimming the sides of her ribs, I placed my hands on the railing in front of her, caging her against my torso.
I felt her inhale a deep breath, knowing she was happy. In the grand scheme of things, this was a simple gesture, but to Isla, this meant everything. Kissing her neck, I let my lips linger.
“Are you okay?” she asked, reading my thoughts.
“I am right now.” I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Why didn’t you visit me in jail?”
She instantly spun, looking at me. “I did twice, but they told me I wasn’t on the list.”
I nodded. “I figured.”
“Did you?”
“I hoped it was the reason.”
“Did you think otherwise?”
“All I had time to do was think.”
“How bad?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. I want to know everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes,” she reaffirmed, peering deep into my eyes.
“I keep seeing Melody…”
Her stare widened. “Your mom?”
“Yeah,” I rasped.
“What did she say?”
“She was sorry.”
“I see.”
“So I don’t sound crazy?”
She shook her head. “Of course not.”
I arched an eyebrow. “I’m seeing my dead mom, and that seems normal to you?”
“Nothing about what happened to you is normal, Julius. Our lives have never been normal, and we’re all just dealing with the cards we were dealt.”
“What do you want to do, Isla?”
“You mean about us or—”
“About everything. In a perfect world, what would you want?”
She licked her lips, and I followed the movement of her tongue.
“I don’t believe in fairy tales, Julius.”
“And what if we’re one, huh? What if I’m your hero?”
She eyed me skeptically. “Does that make Kraven the villain?”
“You said it, not me.”
“Julius… I am really sorry about what happened with Kraven. Can you at least let me explain how it even went down because in your head, I think you’re envisioning a way different night than what actually happened.”
I shrugged. “I can’t be held responsible for what I do to him after you tell me this.”
“As long as you don’t kill him.”
“You think I’m capable of that?”
“I think humans are capable of anything. When the devil gets in, he gets in.”
“Is that why you’re an angel that was sent to me?”
“I’m far from an angel, Julius. Truth be told, I killed a man—”
“No, you survived him. He got what was coming to him.”
“And what does Kraven have coming to him?”
“I don’t know yet. You haven’t told me what happened.”
“I’m not trying to make things worse.”
“It can’t get any worse than what is already going through my head.”
“Julius, I understand where you’re coming from. Truly, I do.”
“By all means, tell me if my brother made you come?”
She gasped, and I instantly regretted my words, but I didn’t take them back either. I was only human.
“I take that as a yes?”
“I can’t believe…” She adamantly shook her head before she shared, “Your dad showed up at your house.”
I jerked back. “Joe?”
“Yeah, he was… messed up… and took it out on Kraven.”
I nodded. “That’s what Joe does best.”
“Yeah… well… he blamed you guys for Melody and wouldn’t stop spewing every nasty thing he could think of to Kraven.”
I scoffed out a chuckle. “Mr. Accountability, huh?”
“We’d been drinking and smoking—”
“So he gets you fucked up to what? Go back to the house and play hide-and-seek?”
“Kraven didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do.”
I winced for a second. “Hmm…”
“I’m just saying—”
“I know what you’re saying.”
“Do you want me to keep going, or are you going to interrupt every time you hear something you don’t like? If that’s the case, we’re going to be here a while.”
“Enough with the sass, Mouse. Keep going.”
She narrowed her gaze at me. “Joe was horrible, Julius. I’ve had some really shitty things said and done to me, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of someone who is supposed to love me yet hate me so damn much.”
“You should see him when he needs money. He’s much nicer then.”
“You’re making excuses for him?”
“I’m just stating facts.” I paused for a moment. “Kraven has always been an easy target for Joe, which is why I had to take care of him. You see how well that’s turned out for me.”
“He does love you.”
I deviously smiled. “Not as much as he loves you.”
She swallowed hard.
“How about that for irony?”
She changed the subject. “When he wouldn’t stop, Kraven lost it and dragged him out of the house.”
“And then what? Tell me, Isla. Look me in the eyes and tell me how you slept with my brother.”
She grimaced. “Julius… I… I guess I tried to comfort him, but only with a hug… I didn’t… I just don’t want you to think I threw myself at him or vice versa. It just happened.”
I challenged, “Like it just happened with us?”
“No, it was nothing like us… We made love, Julius.”
“So him fucking you is supposed to hurt less?”
“Julius—”
My stomach was in knots when I pushed off the railing. I had to get away from her. Tugging the hair away from my face, I turned my back to her. She immediately wrapped her arms around me from behind, and I let her. It was better than the alternative.
“I’m so sorry, Julius… I didn’t… I wish… Fuck… I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Please tell me you at least know that?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.”
She placed herself in front of me, staring into my eyes. “I love you.”
“And Kraven? Do you love him too?”
“Not in the way I love you… I’m sorry, Julius. I can’t explain it, but I can’t hide from it either. I don’t want to lose either of you. You’re both my family…”
Hearing her say all of this wasn’t a shock. It was reassurance.
But fuck, it burned me nonetheless.