Chapter 23
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
JULIUS
“What?” I bit.
“You heard me.”
“No, I don’t think I did.”
He stepped closer to me until we were standing right in front of one another.
“Let me make myself crystal fucking clear, then. What if we don’t find out who the father of the baby is?”
I scoffed. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”
“You could live like that? Not knowing?”
He shrugged. “I could think of worse things.”
“Like what?”
“Like losing her.”
I choked out, “In what world does this work for you?”
“In a world where she doesn’t have to choose between us.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to keep up. “What are you implying?”
“Julius, you know exactly what I’m saying.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“What if she has us both?”
I chuckled. “You’ve lost your fucking mind.”
“No,” he firmly stated. “I think I finally found it.”
“No,” I mirrored his tone. “You’ve lost it.”
“Julius, what if she doesn’t choose you? Huh? What happens to you then? What happens to us? Our family?”
“What family, Kraven? You fucking sent me to jail, and now we’re not broth—”
“You don’t have to reiterate, Julius. I know what happened. I’m just trying to think of a solution where we all win.”
“How do we win in not knowing who the father is? And what are you suggesting? A fucking three-way?”
He didn’t answer me. Instead, he just crossed his arms over his chest.
“For fuck’s sake, you’re serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
I shook my head, not believing what I was hearing. My brain refused to process what he was saying.
Until I finally confirmed, “You want to share her.”
Kraven didn’t flinch. “I’m not giving her up. Are you? How far are you going to take this? You heard the doctor. She can’t have stress, so what? We’re going to all stand at opposing ends and fight till the death for her?”
“Kraven—”
“Stop acting like there’s only one way this can end.”
I laughed under my breath, but there wasn’t anything amusing about what he was proposing.
“With her choosing?” he challenged.
“Yes.”
“And if she doesn’t?” he fired back. “If she can’t choose?”
“She will.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” My jaw tightened. “Because she has to.”
Kraven’s expression shifted, something darker slipping in behind his eyes.
“You’re trying to rewrite what we are just because you can’t handle losing.”
“That’s the difference between us,” he snapped. “I’m not trying to win.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m trying to keep her.”
My chest rose. “At what cost?”
He shrugged like it didn’t matter. “At the cost of not knowing whose baby that is? I can live with that too.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re telling me you could look at that baby every single day and not wonder if it’s mine?” My voice dropped, rougher. “If it’s yours?”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit,” I repeated, stronger that time. “It’d eat you alive.”
“Not if it means she’s still ours.”
Ours.
I shook my head again. “You don’t even hear yourself right now.”
“I hear myself perfectly. I know exactly what I’m saying.”
“No, you don’t,” I countered. “What you’re suggesting? That’s not a relationship. That’s a recipe for a fucking disaster waiting to happen.
“Or it’s the only way we don’t destroy each other trying to force her to choose between us.”
“She doesn’t have to choose. That’s the whole point.”
My eyes snapped back to his, placing my hand in the air. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Point out that you don’t actually have a reason other than the fact that it’s not common.”
“That’s not—”
“It is.”
“What you’re doing is avoiding reality.”
“No.” He smiled. “I’m evolving with it.”
“By turning it into something this fucked up?”
“By turning it into something that works for us. Who the fuck cares what anyone else thinks? Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Relationships don’t work this way.”
“Says who?”
“Alright,” I mocked, finding this whole ordeal ridiculous.
“Explain it to me, then?” he dared. “How does this work? From where I’m standing, you’re clinging to a version where someone loses and has to walk away from her. How is that any better than what I’m suggesting?”
“Maybe it’s what needs to happen.”
The second the words left my mouth, I knew I didn’t mean them, and he was aware of it too.
Kraven’s gaze met mine. His stare was steady. “You wouldn’t survive that.”
My jaw clenched.
“And neither would I,” he added.
Silence stretched between us again.
“You really think she’d agree to that? To us?”
I was shocked when he rebutted, “I think she already is.”
My eyebrows pinched together. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You didn’t see it?” he insisted. “The way she looked at both of us in there?”
“I don’t know what you saw, but all I saw was a woman who was overwhelmed.”
“Yeah? Well, I saw a woman who didn’t want either of us to leave.”
“That doesn’t mean she wants this.”
“No,” he agreed. “But it does mean she doesn’t want to lose either of us.”
“Yeah, and that’s not the same thing.”
“But it’s close enough to start.”
I stared at him, mostly at the certainty in his expression. At the fact that he wasn’t backing down, he wasn’t second-guessing himself, he wasn’t even hesitating the way he usually did when it came to her or me.
He wasn’t being impulsive. It was calculating.
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
He didn’t respond.
“Since when?” I repeated, harsher that time.
He arched an eyebrow. “Since I realized I wasn’t willing to walk away from her, even if she chose you.”
“Jesus,” I muttered under my breath.
“Yeah,” he coaxed. “That’s about right.”
I exhaled a deep breath, my mind still fighting with the concept, rejecting it.
“You don’t know anything about what you’re implying.”
“I know you’re trying to throw everything away.”
“I’m not throwing anything away. I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is left.”
“Again, I’m right here, Julius.”
“That’s the problem.”
“You’re acting like I’m a stranger.”
“I’m acting like I don’t recognize what this is anymore or who you are. What you want isn’t enough.”
“It is if you let it be.”
“I don’t know how to,” I admitted. “I wouldn’t know how to make that work. We don’t share anything.”
“Yeah, except for her.”
“Kraven—”
“You don’t have to figure it out right now.”
I stepped away. I had to.
Before I turn to go back into her hospital room, Kraven declared, “You do have to figure out what’s more important to you.”
I spun to look at him again.
“The truth of the matter is, you have to decide whether you’d rather share with me or lose her completely. Bottom line, even if she chooses you, I won’t leave her, and if she chooses me, you’ll lose her. Where do you want to stand, Julius? Alone or with family?”
“I wouldn’t know how to share her with you, Kraven. What part of that do you not understand?”
He didn’t hesitate, spewing…
“You already have been. Now it’s just about making it a why choose.”