Chapter 35 #2
Opening my eyes the next morning, the quiet hum of my sister’s air conditioner tried to lull me right back to sleep. I stretched and felt every sore muscle and my scraped-up knuckles, and the reality of last night woke my ass right up.
I sat, and the blanket warming AJ’s still sleeping body pooled around my hips.
It seemed odd to me that the sun could be so bright and happy, shining in Abey’s guest room window, when things last night had been so dark.
But that was life—lights and darks, and sometimes they ran together, mixing and moving within each other, creating numberless colors for us to exist in.
Waking up next to such sweet, unconditional love didn’t feel wrong this time.
AJ was all those colors mixed up in one flawed and dynamic woman.
With her leg tangled between mine, her soft snore rumbling beneath the covers, and her hair spilled over her pillow like pale, yellow sunlight, I felt redeemed and forgiven and… home.
The scars she’d said she didn’t care about, and the new ones probably forming on my face from last night, felt less glaring than they had yesterday.
I touched my cheek, expecting to find scabs or tears in the skin from having it shoved into gravel, but there was nothing. Just a little puffiness.
Rising from the bed carefully, I searched the room for some kind of reflective surface and found a vintage cheval mirror in the corner. That had to be Devo’s style. My sister had always been a ten-dollar-Walmart-mirror kind of girl.
Stepping closer, I squinted, trying to see new imperfections, but all I could find were two thin, tiny scratches over my cheek bone. And the old scars on my face and arms seemed duller and less pronounced. Maybe AJ was right, and my scars had already started to forget me.
At first, I thought, It has to be a trick of the light, but as I inspected myself, my eyes following the story of addiction written in lines, mars, and marks on my skin, and the two slices from a boot knife I’d received as payment for stealing someone else’s dope, I realized they’d faded over time, and they seemed to fade even more right before my eyes because I wasn’t letting them lead.
The angry, sorrowful, shamed part of my life was over. I could hold my head high. I could allow myself to want good things, maybe even expect—
Abey’s front door closed in the living room, and I heard Bax’s voice and then Stu’s.
“He awake yet?” Bax said.
“Where’s Deedee?”
“They’re still sleepin’,” Abey whispered. “Shh. Give him a few more minutes, okay, Stu? Deedee’s tired this mornin’.”
“Okay,” my son whispered back to his aunt, but then Devo broke the hush.
The door slammed closed this time. “Babe! Wait till you see the monster tomatoes I just harvested for breakfast. They’re huge! And we’ve got cucumbers and green peppers. I picked spinach, too, for Roxi’s frittatas. She and Brand just got here. They’re outside, talkin’ to Merv.”
“Devo!” Abey yelled in a whisper. “Dixon and Avery Jane are still asleep. Can you talk a little louder?”
“Oh shit. Sorry.”
“Aunt Devo said ‘shit,’” Stu informed everyone, and then the door opened and closed again, and Athena chimed in.
“Y’all got orange juice? I need vitamin C. Shaylene says it’s good for my skin.”
Good things.
Yeah, maybe I could get used to them.
“In the fridge,” Abey replied.
The bedcovers rustled, and then AJ’s voice washed over me like a caress.
“Whatcha doin’?” she asked, and I turned to see her sleepy hazel eyes focused on me.
“Nothin’. Just wakin’ up.” I stepped back to the bed and slid in beside her. I pulled her close, loving how strands of her hair tickled my chest when she rested her head there.
“Sounds like your entire family’s out there.”
Suddenly, the low boom of Rye’s voice could be heard louder than all the rest.
“I get this is a family thing,” he said, “but can a cowboy snag a few pieces of that bacon before a long day?”
“You are family, dumbass,” Bax replied, and as expected, Stu reported the curse.
“Daddy said ‘ass.’”
“You up for it?” I asked AJ.
Looking up at me, love and loyalty shining in her eyes, she vowed, “Name the place and time, Tweedledum, and I got your back.”
“I think we need new nicknames.”
“What? Why?”
“’Cause nobody ever told me how sexy Tweedledee could be.” I leaned down, and she lifted her face to mine for a kiss. I nipped her bottom lip for good measure too. “It feels mildly inappropriate since they’re cartoon characters meant for kids and they’re brothers.”
“No,” she said with mock indignation. “I like our nicknames. Besides, do kids these days even know who Tweedledee and Tweedledum are?”
“You might have a point.”
Reaching for my hand, she threaded her fingers between mine. “Repeat after me,” she said. “‘Yes, darling, you’re right.’ And now, memorize those four words. You’re gonna need ’em.”
“Yes, darlin’, you’re right,” I said, and I stole another kiss.
“Today’s the day, AJ. I’m gonna sit down with Merv later.
I want you there. Abey, Bax, and Brand will be there too.
I’m thinkin’ it’s probably best if y’all wait outside so Merv doesn’t feel ganged up on, but I could really use your support. ”
“You got it,” she said, and she draped her arm over my stomach and squeezed me tight.
Kissing the crown of her head, I murmured, “Thanks.”
The bedroom door creaked open an inch, and then Stu’s head peeked through the gap.
“Deedee’s awake!” he announced. “They’re awake!” He threw open the door and bounded across the room, jumped onto the bed, and crawled over AJ and me. “Mornin’ Deedee. Mornin’ Avery. Aunt Abey’s makin’ bacon, and Aunt Roxi’s gonna make somethin’ called free-tah-tahs.”
AJ giggled as Stu wiggled himself into the crook between us while I lifted my T-shirt from the foot of the bed and tugged it on. He slid his little hand behind my head when I relaxed back against the headboard, wrapping it around my shoulder.
“How you doin’ this mornin’, kid?” I asked, wanting so badly to kiss my son’s cheek. I wasn’t sure if that was okay, if he’d welcome that kind of thing from me, but I didn’t have to worry too long about the answer to the question because he turned toward me and planted a wet peck on my cheek.
“Good,” he said happily. “Hungry.” He pulled his arm free and flipped around, then bounced on his knees, looking back and forth between AJ and me.
“C’mon! Get up. You like bacon, right, Deedee?
” He launched himself off the bed and ran for the door, but then stopped and spun back around. “Wait. Duh. Who doesn’t like bacon?”
Bea’s face appeared in the doorway after Stu sprinted away. “I’ll just close this so y’all can have some privacy.” She smiled and pulled the door shut.
AJ didn’t speak, but she didn’t need to say a word. The bright smile on her face spoke volumes about the good things coming right at us.
Her lips twisted into a sexy smirk. I smiled, too, feeling the weight of all those good things, but they didn’t feel heavy anymore.
They felt perfect.
She moaned and licked her lips. “Yum. Bacon. My mouth’s waterin’ already.”