10. He Saw the Signs of Her Past
He Saw the Signs of Her Past
Aiden
Richmond was a grey ghost.
Fog swallowed the hills, and only the tufted peaks of the tallest trees escaped its chokehold over the valley. There was no hint of the town. Not even a twinkle of lights. Usually, I’d welcome the isolation, but after last night’s disaster, the silence unsettled me.
I dragged the sandpaper along the raw edge of the porch railing.
The slow, constant scratch was the only distraction from my thoughts.
I’d paint it next. Nothing fancy. Midnight blue to match the rest of the trim.
But it was another job to keep me busy. If I stopped, if I paused for a second, the guilt would rush into the cracks in my chest like quicksand and bury me alive.
I should be happy. I’d gotten what I wanted, hadn’t I?
Lola hated me. I’d stayed silent when I should’ve spoken up. I’d discarded her like trash and watched as the vultures tore her apart.
The sandpaper stopped. I screwed my eyes shut, slouched against the railing, and forced air into my lungs. The darkness wasn’t forgiving. The memory of Lola’s eyes always pleaded for me to save her. That look would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Had I ever been… good? Honourable? Not even the shadow of the man in uniform seemed to exist anymore. Why had I been so heartless? So…so… savage?
Why?
The hum of tyres drifted through the valley. I cocked my head, listening, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. The rumble grew louder. Someone was coming up the driveway.
I sighed, pinching the fingertips of my glove, yanking it off, and hanging it over the railing next to the full coffee mug. When did I make that? I couldn’t remember. It was probably cold now, anyway.
Hands shoved in my pockets, I headed out front just as the silver car skidded to a stop at the top of the driveway.
Harry had snuck up the mountain in his mum’s old junker.
The car door slammed shut, and his sneakers pounded the concrete.
Speeding up. Getting closer. A second later, I saw him, his cheeks red and his mouth set in a snarl.
All he sneered was, “You.”
His fist flew straight for my face.
Forgotten instincts kicked in. Time slowed down. Harry swung. I dodged. With nothing to hit, his arm flailed, and the momentum of the lost blow threw him forward, his feet twisting, whirling him around like a tornado.
I waited.
The blur of his fist reared back, his legs pumping as he charged forward, ready to take a second shot.
I dropped my shoulder, and pain exploded across my chest when he barrelled into me.
But he was clumsy and untrained and hit me like a car slamming into a brick wall.
Flying backwards, he landed with a thud on the concrete.
Spread-eagled on his back, Harry coughed, his chest heaving. I stooped over him. Defiant eyes glared up at me, and when I offered my hand to help him up, he slapped it away.
His gaze was wary. “Where’d you learn those frigging ninja moves?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Nowhere.” I hadn’t shared much about my past, and now certainly wasn’t the time to skip down memory lane. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”
“You know exactly what’s going on.” He scrambled to his feet, his body twitchy, still ready to fight. “This is about Lola .”
I flinched. Harry knew. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Gossip spread like venom in this town. I’d bet his phone blew up with every sordid detail the second he drove back in range.
“Mate—”
“Don’t you dare call me that,” he spat. “I looked up to you. Like a brother . Like a”—emotion cracked his voice—“like a father . And what are you? Huh? Nothing but a coward!”
“You don’t understand…” The words were weak even to my ears.
“No. I don’t. Everyone in this town thinks I’m as dumb as a bag of rocks. Maybe I am. I never finished high school. I don’t read books like you do. But I’m smart enough to know what you did to Lola was wrong.”
I kicked a bit of gravel with the toe of my boot. “I was protecting her.”
“Protecting her?” Harry’s eyes bulged. “Protecting her? Do you hear yourself?” He snorted with disgust. “I suppose you were protecting Lola when you threw her pie in the bin, too? And when that asshole Evan Barnes said all that ugly shit to her? Sure. And then you have the damn balls to tell her to stay away from you!”
My eyes snapped up, and he scoffed a laugh.
“Yeah, that’s right. Hollyoak told me everything. You weren’t protecting Lola.” His hand landed flat on my shoulder, and he shoved me hard, but I didn’t budge. “You were protecting yourself .”
I took a steadying breath and dropped my gaze to my feet.
Harry saw more than he should have. But he was right.
I’d convinced myself the reason I’d ripped Lola’s heart out and squashed it beneath my boot was because I couldn’t let her get too attached to me.
But that wasn’t it at all, was it? I’d been scared that I was already too attached to her.
I had been since the second I’d laid eyes on her.
“Say something, you coward!” Harry demanded.
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Gutless!”
I nodded. Yeah. I was.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Me… Lola… It’s just not…” I rubbed my hand over the ache throbbing deep in my chest. “It can’t happen.”
“But you like her.”
The ache gnawed deeper. I did . Too much.
If I lingered in my fantasies too long and let Lola’s sweet smile lure me into believing I was worth being loved, I’d break her beyond repair.
I wasn’t… right . My mind was a prison, but I’d lost the keys years ago.
Escape was impossible. I couldn’t risk hurting her any more than I already had.
“I don’t like her,” I lied.
Harry rolled his eyes. “Piss off. Yeah, you do. Who are you trying to convince? Yourself?” He snorted. “You aren’t fooling me, old man. It’s been six years since you saved my dumb butt by giving me a job, and I’ve never seen you act like this over a woman.”
“Like this? I’m not like…anything.”
“How much denial are you in? Your eyes never leave Lola. And if they aren’t on her, they’re searching for her. I even saw your lips curl up once.” He raised his eyebrows with a challenging grin. “You know, just at the corners… As if you can actually smile or something.”
I grunted.
“You like Lola.”
“No.”
Harry huffed with frustration. “Yeah. You do. And I’ll bet you coffee for a month that you like Lola a lot .
” He paused, eyes on the sky, thinking something through.
“I’ve seen tourists make those flirty eyes at you, but you never smile back.
And people can whisper about you and Miss Ruthie all they want.
I know nothing is going on between you two. ” He grimaced. “Not like that .”
“No, nothing like that.” I held back a laugh. I could imagine Ruth recoiling in horror if she ever heard that accusation.
“So, keep standing there in denial, pretending it’s not different with Lola. Other people haven’t realised because you’re still grumpy as hell, but I know you.” A pained expression scrunched up his face. “At least… I thought I knew you.”
I shook my head. No one knew me. Not really. Not even Ruth.
Lola had pried open a tiny crack in my chest and burrowed inside. But I’d come too close to tipping over the edge. That night could have gone so much worse. I speared my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath, and flooded the chasm aching in my chest with more air. It didn’t help.
Harry sighed. “I just don’t get it. Why didn’t you stand up for her?
How could you let Evan say those things?
Man, it’s Lola . She’s like… She’s…” Harry braced his hands on the railing and stared out over the valley.
He was quiet for a long time. Just thinking.
“You ever notice her, Aiden?” He turned back to me with a faint smile. “Really noticed her?”
I leant my hip against the railing next to him. “Yeah, kid,” I admitted in a low voice. “I have.” Right down to the tiny freckles dotted on her shoulder.
“You sure? Watch her again. Lola seems okay around you, but any other man looks in her direction, and she’s a nervous wreck.
She won’t even look at ’em. She spooks like a roo if someone starts hollering in the coffee shop.
Otherwise, she keeps herself curled up tight.
” Harry’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Just like Mum.”
My eyes rounded. “No… That’s not…” Harry’s father was a bastard.
He was gone before my time, but the rumours still lingered.
That man beat his wife. His son. My father had been a hard man, not an ounce of compassion in him.
Still, he’d probably been like puppies and cotton candy compared to Harry’s dad. “Lola’s not like your mum.”
“Mum’s been scared like that since Dad left. She still is some days. Most days, even.” Harry turned his gaze back to the valley. “Lola’s the same. Someone didn’t treat her good.”
My hand shot out and gripped the railing, my knuckles turning white. “But… Lola…”
But… what?
Lola was all sweetness, shy smiles, and loving touches, but Harry was right.
Signs screamed everywhere. She’d landed in town with nothing except the clothes on her back and been over the moon about her first pay as if she’d never earned a dollar.
She’d panicked over a tiny mess. When I’d held her on her pink sheets, she’d pleaded with me not to treat her rough, and after I’d abandoned her, she’d begged me to tell her what she’d done wrong because she’d probably always heard everything was her fault.
I slumped lower against the railing.
And what had I done? Kicked her in her soft, broken belly when she was already curled up on the ground with no one to protect her.
“But…she’s…” I choked on the knot lodged in my throat. “She’s…so…smart. She’s…a doctor.”
I was grasping for excuses. Why? In my other life—when I’d still been someone—how many call-outs had I attended?
How many women had I seen beaten black and blue who’d lied and said they’d fallen?
My chest tightened. Not my Lola. I needed to pretend some bastard had never put his hands on my shy girl with her too-big glasses.
I needed to pretend I wasn’t like him —whoever he was.
“Does that make a difference?” Harry asked.
“Mum was whip-smart, too. Now look at her. She can’t work.
She can’t leave the house some days. She never saw him coming.
” His sigh was heavy. “Do you ever, though? Evil people hide in plain sight. They’re everywhere.
Even the smartest person can’t always see the wolf hiding in sheep’s clothing. ”
I couldn’t pretend anymore.
I was the wolf.
I wanted. I took. But Lola paid the price.
And she never saw me coming.