CHAPTER 17
“Stefan, please—”
“Spread her legs,” someone orders.
Stefan smiles, and then he moves toward me, filling me up in one hard thrust. My chest tightens, and fear spikes through me.
I cry and look away, but when I do, I catch Dante watching us, moving his hand over his erection.
Pain explodes in my chest. This can’t be happening.
“Spit on her face. She loved when I did that.”
No.
Stefan does. Dante stands up and pinches my nipples before thrusting his full length into my mouth.
He laughs with my husband.
He’s as disgusting as everyone…
I run to the bathroom, as I do every night, and throw up.
This is the first time I’ve had a nightmare since I was a teen. They were always memories.
Stefan told me disturbing things about my family, like how my father and his used to share my mum. He threatened me a thousand times by saying he would call Dante so both would fuck me.
He never did. He wanted me for himself, though he did take pictures and videos of us and sent them to him. I don’t know if Dante still has them.
I sigh.
I was so desperate to give up; to understand the truth, I wanted Dante to rape me. I wanted to see that sick, twisted look in his eyes, to know whether what we had was real or a lie.
With time, I did, but deep down, I still have my doubts. Sometimes, when I look at him, I see the Dante I love—the one who got nervous on our first dates, the one who taught me how to write properly, the one who saved me from the hell that was my home.
But whenever I look at Finn, everything changes.
I can’t be in love with a trafficker. I can’t take the risk. My father wasn’t one, and he abused children. He abused me. I don’t want to imagine what Dante would do if I were blinded by my love for him.
I must protect my child, even if it means sacrificing my own heart.
If Finn weren’t here, I’d probably fall for Dante again, but I refuse to put my walls down. I will not fail my child. I won’t let him go through what I did. I will repeat that until I die.
I need to kill the part of me that still loves him. I need to feel disappointed. I need him to tell me the truth directly. I need to face reality so I can heal fully so I can focus on my baby and his well-being.
I won’t trust him. I can’t. He left me. He abandoned me. He never cared for me… and yet he did. He was the only one who did, aside from my mum.
Why can’t he tell me the truth and stop playing with me? I don’t want to fall into his lies again. I don’t want to be betrayed. He’ll play with me. He’ll fuck me as much as he wants, and then he’ll leave me, just like the first time.
Why can’t he just go straight to the point? Is it because of what my father said? Does he think I’m desperate for a little love? Is that funny to them?
Finn starts crying again. That’s my sign to go back to bed, like every night.
I’m so tired.