CHAPTER 50
Ihad a son with Dante.
He is his son.
Finn is Dante’s son. I didn’t make that up.
I can’t get those thoughts out of my head since he told me, but now I have even more questions. I don’t even know if I should feel relieved or not.
The whole evening, I’ve been on automatic mode. I didn’t even react when I saw Finn riding Dante’s black horse. My son was smiling so widely, just like his… father.
No. I can’t believe this, yet I do. Finn is a carbon copy of him… but to have it confirmed, it’s overwhelming. Dante even gave me the DNA papers.
This is all I ever wanted, but it hurts like hell.
Why did he never come back for us? Why didn’t he fight? Did he not want us enough? Did he not want me?
Did he not want him?
A part of me wants to believe him; the other keeps telling me he just regrets the decision he made when he left us.
I don’t know which voice to listen to. I don’t know if I should believe everything he tells me, and it breaks my heart because I desperately want to…
but just thinking about reliving the deception I went through two years ago makes me shiver, though the thought of having him back—our relationship, our love, and our plans—makes me want to forget it all and surrender to him.
But now there’s Finn. Any decision I make will affect him, one way or another.
And speaking of Finn, there’s no way to describe how ashamed I feel for believing I couldn’t get pregnant because we weren’t married.
It’s not as if I had any way to know. My mother never talked about how babies were made or anything sex-related.
If I knew about sex, it was only because of the torture I endured during the kidnapping and because of what my father did while I was growing up.
Those were my only experiences before I met Dante, and I never got pregnant, so I couldn’t have known.
After I take Finn to his room, I give him a bath so he can relax even more, and once he closes his little eyes, I return to the first floor.
We can’t keep postponing this conversation.
Dante is leaning against the door, smoking a cigarette. He only does that when he comes back from work, so it must be a stress habit.
For a few seconds, we stay in silence, Dante looking away while I glance down.
Where do I even start when I have so many questions in my head?
“Do you feel better?”
I look up, but he hasn’t moved.
“I think so.” I move closer to him. “What took you almost three weeks?”
He exhales smoke. “There were more girls than we thought. I had to ask for my jet and helicopters. We got out of—”
“You have a jet?” I squeal. “And a helicopter?”
He smiles, looking worn out; his eyes are distant and tired whenever they’re not on me.
“I have a lot of things, sweetheart.” He puts out the cigarette and flicks the end into an ashtray. “We ran out of transport, and I couldn’t risk them intercepting my call after what I did. I needed to keep you hidden. I’m sorry.”
“But… Javier told me you were missing.”
“It was my order. That way, no one could know where I was working. Everyone would have believed I was dead.”
I sigh and press my back against the door in front of him. His hand grazes mine, tentative. I respond to his touch, and he finally decides to take it, rubbing it with his thumb.
“This was my father’s house,” he says, looking out at the trees of the forest. “He built it when we first came to London. For me.
“After he died, I couldn’t bear to live here. There were too many memories… but when we got engaged, I started redecorating.
“Mom gave me her room and moved back here; she had been at the shelter. I replaced every piece of furniture and put in things you might like or need. It felt like home again, not like a burden… until they took you away from me and everything fell apart.
“When I came back to my senses, I hated waking up, knowing the only way I could see you was from afar.”
My stomach tightens.
“I wanted to see you,” I admit. “Even if it was only to yell at you.”
He smiles faintly. “I couldn’t get close. I would have put you both in danger.”
We stay silent. The sound of leaves and the wind makes everything seem so calm, contrasting perfectly with the chaos inside me.
“Why didn’t you come to the church?” My voice cracks.
“Why did you leave me alone? Why did you abandon me? I spent so many months waiting for you—despite the lies, the fear, the betrayal. My father told me you had just prepared me, that you’d bought me until Stefan came into the picture.
I never believed that because it didn’t make sense.
So… what the hell happened? I can’t bear any more lies.
You promised you’d tell me. I can’t take it anymore, Dante. ”
He sighs, and his blue eyes search for mine before he begins…