CHAPTER 55
Ican’t believe everything he told me last night.
I mean, I can, but it’s too much to process.
My father made sure he broke everything around me.
I spent three years locked in my room, and I barely went out because I didn’t want to see men outside.
I felt a little safe inside those four walls, even when he came in at night.
I was used to him. I know it wasn’t normal, but it was better than torture from others.
Then he forced me to be engaged to a stranger, to step out of my shell—and I fell in love. For what? So he could take it all away and marry me off to my worst nightmare.
If Dante is telling the truth, how am I supposed to forget those two years of suffering while he couldn’t reach me? I only needed a letter from him for the butterflies to feel alive again. He could have called from the other side of the street—anything—but he… he couldn’t.
Those were two years when Stefan used me however he pleased. Two years with a broken heart. Two years where all I got was a text message that shattered me even more.
I can’t ignore everything he has done these past few months—the space he’s been giving me, the connection that never broke—but my heart aches, just as it did when I realised I wasn’t going to marry him.
I believe him, but I can’t forget those terrible months, Stefan’s torture, his words, his touch…
I rub my eyes and try to calm my breathing. I cried all night, and it’s enough. The bastard is dead, I’m living with Dante again, and it’s all going to be fine.
But I still feel like I need someone to talk to.
“Greta forced me to bring you this,” Javier says, leaving a chocolate ice cream on the table in front of me. I smile sadly.
“Thanks.”
“I’m available for whatever you need.”
“Anything?”
He blushes and swallows hard. “W-well, there are a few things that—”
“I’m not asking you to sleep with me. Just sit down!”
He sighs in relief and lets himself fall into the chair. We both look away.
“Are you aware of why I’m here?”
“Not entirely.”
I take a deep breath and tell him our whole story—from the moment I saw Dante with my father downstairs to our conversation yesterday. Javier listens carefully; I swear he doesn’t even blink. His focused expression doesn’t change, even when my voice cracks and a few tears slide down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what to do.” I press my hands to my head. “I want to forgive him, really, but I’m so scared—”
“Do it.”
I stay frozen in place. “Really?”
He smiles. “I haven’t been working for long, but I’ve known Dante since I was fifteen. If there’s one thing I’ve seen, it’s that he never breaks a promise.”
“I don’t know why you think he bought you, or how they reached that arrangement, but knowing about Greta’s relationship with her husband—and the situation you had with your father—I’d dare say he might have thought that was his chance to get you out of that place without breaking the rules.”
My head drops onto the table. He’s right.
He pats my back. “If he ever betrays you, no matter how, I’m on your side. But I think you should take the risk. You’ve been through too much to keep holding your feelings.”
“You think so?”
“I do. I’m not a fan of having a partner, because of our job and all that, but if my sister were in your situation—safe, with her son’s father and a friend she could take anywhere whenever she needed to—I’d be at ease.”
I smile sadly. “A friend?”
“A friend who is also her bodyguard.” Don’t worry, I’m not leaving my job. I just think it’s best for you to have someone else to rely on. Things can get messy when you only have your partner.”
“Talking from experience?”
He laughs faintly and shakes his head. “No, I’ve just seen those situations.” He stands up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to check some things inside.”
I nod. Javier walks away.
“Thank you!” I shout.
With a smile plastered on his face, he leaves, and I stay sitting there, thinking… about everything.
It’s been two hours since I got into bed, and Dante hasn’t come home.
It’s midnight. Finn went to sleep an hour ago, and my thoughts are still on Javier’s conversation.
I just want to know if we’re going to be safe. If I’m not going to lose him… or Finn. His job is do or die. How will I handle Finn? What if they take him when he’s old enough for school? How is this supposed to work?
I’m so scared about the future, I can’t think about the present. I keep replaying everything I’ve been through my entire life, and I don’t want Finn to have to go through it.
My phone rings. It’s Tara.
“Hello! I heard Dante’s back home!” she says.
I sigh. “He is. He told me everything that happened during the wedding.”
“Did you forgive him for leaving you?”
“I haven’t spoken to him all day. He’s not even here.”
She scoffs.
“Right, he drops the bomb and leaves. Lovely… What are you going to do now?”
“I… I don’t know. Should I? I mean, we’re messed up. What about—”
“I told you, nothing is going to happen to Finn. Dante would die before anyone touched his son.”
I pale.
“You knew?”
“You didn’t?”
Oh, God!.
“You knew you didn’t need to get married to have children?”
She tries to hold back her laughter, but when I don’t say a word, she stops. “Oh my God, you’re serious!”
“How would I have known? Mum never talked about it! No one told me! The only thing I kept hearing was, ‘You can’t have a child unless you get married!’”
She keeps laughing. “Because they meant you shouldn’t have kids outside marriage, not in a literal way.”
I groan, hiding my face on a pillow. “Stop laughing.”
“I’m sorry. You’re so na?ve.”
“I know… So everyone knows?”
“Everyone knows. I think Stefan couldn’t have children, so when you got pregnant, he was happy for a bit, but then he realised it wasn’t his.
I must have been a joke to everyone.
“Declan is coming again,” she says in a hurry. “Forgive him, trust me.”
She hangs up, and I see three missed calls from my mum. I answer as soon as it rings again.
“Hello, mo chroí.”
I smile. My father must be away if she can call me like that.
After the usual questions, I decide it’s a good idea to talk to her about this too. She’s the only one who was there that day; she saw how terrible everything really was.
“Since you know the truth… can I ask you for advice?”
“Of course, a stór.”0
I scrunch my nose and start picking at my nails as I speak.
I’ve never asked her anything about relationships—not even when I first met Dante.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to ask, but rather that I was too embarrassed.
She always asked, and I always answered, but I never wanted her to know everything.
The closest thing I ever asked about relationships was how to get Stefan to stop hitting me. All she said was, “I just hold on because of you. Now you must hold on because of Finn.”
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t ask for more. Our husbands were going to beat us simply for existing, no matter if we gave them the solution to all their problems. There was always going to be something that would be our fault. That’s how it worked for them.
“I’ve even been thinking he’s lying, because I cannot understand why he wouldn’t have done something to get me out. I’m so confused, I—”
“Mo chroí,” she interrupts softly. “Dante is the only man I know who would die for you. What happened on your wedding day was your father’s responsibility. Dante was as excited as you were.”
My heart stops, and I swallow the knot in my throat, though it refuses to go down.
“You knew?”
After a beat, she says, “Yes. I knew everything.”
My world crumbles around me. “You did nothing to—”
“I did what I could. I tried to call you both, and I tried to sabotage the wedding, but nothing worked. I couldn’t see you again after the reception and—”
“You held me in the bathroom.”
“Lana—”
“You fucking told me to endure everything when I was asking you where the hell he was!”
“I know—”
“He got tortured because I couldn’t get to him!”
“Listen to me, pet. Just end this. The only mistake he made was to trust your father. There was nothing else to do. I know, and I’ve known all these months. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to protect you from a fantasy that might never come.
Tears fall from my eyes. “Did you know Finn is his—”
“I do.”
“Did you tell them?” My voice cracks.
“No. I wouldn’t put my grandson’s life in danger. Not even for my own freedom.”
“But you let them sell your daughter.”
That day she was with me the whole time. She saw me crying for Dante. She knew Stefan hit me; she saw my father give me a pill so I would spend my wedding night high as hell.
She saw it all.
I called her whenever I needed a hug, because her voice was all I could get. She knew I hated Finn because I thought he was Stefan’s. She knew I was heartbroken. She knew I was alone…
And she did nothing.
I thought my father tricked us both.
“Mo chroí—”
“What else did you know? What else did he do while you watched?” I don’t dare to ask if she knew how he touched me every fucking night. “Did you know Dante was kidnapped while I was on my honeymoon?”
“I… I did. I promise I did what I—”
“You…” My throat burns. This is not fucking right. “It wasn’t enough, was it? If Dante had never intervened, Finn and I would be dead!”
Every beat of silence breaks my heart a little more.
I trusted her more than anyone. I trusted Dante because of her.
“Trust him, Lana. Don’t let your father, or anyone in our family, lay their hands on Finn. Not even Tara.”
“Tell me the truth for once! What else do you know?”
“I can’t. I can’t do this, pet. I’m so sorry—”
“I can’t believe you’re with them.”
“Lana…”
“I didn’t expect anything from anyone. But you? I can’t understand how you allowed them to do all that to me. I can’t understand why you didn’t prefer to die rather than watch your own daughter suffer. I would never do that to Finn!”
She sobs on the other side of the line. I hold back my tears.
“I thought so many times about killing him, just so he wouldn’t live the way I did,” I cry. “I did everything so Stefan would be pleased. I never let him out of my sight.”
“Lana—”
“Did you know he touched me? Is that why you weren’t surprised when he almost raped me in my bathroom? Did you tell him he could touch but not rape me? Was that it? He always said there was something holding him back.”
“I never—”
“What else did you know? What has he done to ruin my life while you just stood there and watched?”
She cries harder, and I can’t hold it back. I don’t know if I’m hurting her, but I don’t care anymore. I’m torn apart. She was supposed to take care of me!
“I did what I could, mo chroí.”
“I don’t believe you anymore.”
“I’m… I’m so sorry. I love you.”
She hangs up.
She knew everything and never told me. Not even now, when I’m away from it all.
I thought she would never lie to me.
I call her again, twice. I’m not done yet, but she doesn’t pick up. She doesn’t know how to read, so I don’t bother texting.
My chest clenches. Finn is still asleep by my side.
I need some air.
I walk to the window, but it’s not enough. I want to scream. I want to cry my heart out.
I thought I had Mum on my side, but I was always alone.
I don’t want any more lies. Please—no more fucking lies!
Notes:
0. Treasure.