17. Ezrah
Ezrah
17
Ican’t believe we- I have to run again. I grit my teeth as I shove the few things I’d brought into my suitcase. I can’t believe Allen found me. Hell, he even hired a PI to hunt me down. How many times is this going to happen? This is twice in only a few weeks.
Dread claws its way up my throat, thick and bitter as bile. He’s never going to stop until he has me.
I can’t force Dil to live like this. And I absolutely can’t let Allen get his hands on her.
She’s an innocent child. She deserves a normal life, to go to school, make friends. I can't do this to her. She deserves more than to constantly be on the run, hiding from some asshole she hopefully never meets.
I can see the life we’d have with Allen, if it could even be called that, as clear as day. He’d make me leave my job behind, there’s no question of that. I’d be lucky to even have a front door I could unlock without him.
And Dil…
Fuck, if he let Dil stay with me he definitely wouldn’t let her go to public school. I’m not qualified to educate her. I wouldn’t even be able to try, because there’s no world where he lets me have access to a computer.
I need a plan. I need to think about what I’m going to do if he doesn’t slip soon because that’s looking like a serious possibility.
Maybe I can leave the country. Get a little cottage somewhere in Europe. Maybe Holland. Could I legally travel with Dil if I needed to? I’ll need to get in touch with the social worker.
I guess I can try asking her if she has any resources I can use if Alden Security gives up on my case.
And-
And worst case scenario, if I can’t get away from Allen if there’s no other way, I’ll ask her to find Dil a better home. Somewhere she won’t have to live in fear.
Maybe if I manage to get away someday, I can come back for her. Maybe she wouldn’t hate me, even if she couldn’t understand.
Lucas knocks on the door frame. I jump.
“I’ve got everything but Beatrice.”
"Do you want me to get her?”
He shakes his head. “I thought it might be quicker to have me take care of her. Just get Dil and your bags in the car. I’ll be right out.”
He squeezes my hand, presses a quick kiss to my lips then goes to go find my demon of a cat.
I find Dil in the living room, fast asleep. I pick her up without waking her, taking a second to nuzzle her neck and breathe in the comforting baby smell, then buckle her in her car seat. I keep glancing over my shoulder, paranoid that Allen is still here, watching us, hidden in the bushes or the tree line, but I never see any sign of him.
By the time I have her buckled in, Lucas is coming out with Beatrice and her box, where to absolute bafflement, she’s purring happily. He’s also carrying my bag, so I don’t have to leave Dil.
"What did you do to her?" I shake my head from my spot in the passenger seat, forcing as much levity in my voice as I can.
"Nothing,” I try to ignore the way his smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and the way he intently scans the area. “We just reached an understanding."
I scoff.
“It may have involved treats and some catnip.”
Despite my nerves, I chuckle.
Beatrice and Dil safely on board, he slides behind the wheel and pulls away from the cabin that had somehow become home.
I can’t help but look back. Leaving feels wrong for a lot of reasons, all of them pushing at the back of my throat and bubbling behind my eyes.
It feels like admitting defeat. Like letting Allen win. The risk of him getting his hands on me, and more importantly Dil, is driving us away from happiness. I’m also upset at what I’m leaving behind. There won’t be any more walks through the forest or coffees on the porch. No more movie nights under the covers or nights in each other’s arms.
Alden might assign someone else to my case. They might realize they’re out of their depth and just drop me.
Then what would I do?
I’d be on my own. It would only be a matter of time before Allen found me. Before he took me back to whatever viper’s den he called home. And not just me. With Dil there it would be almost impossible to escape again.
I’m startled out of my spiral by Lucas's hand finding mine on the console.
He gives a light squeeze and warmth fills me.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get you somewhere safe.”
I smile at him, and for just a moment, I let myself hope maybe it will be that simple. Maybe we can just keep running.
There’s so much I want to say, and ask, as the desolate gravel road joins to a small but moderately more busy paved one. As the miles tick by, though, none of them make it past my lips.
“Where are we going?” I finally ask. “Another safe house?”
“Probably but not yet. I’m not taking any chances. We’re going to Alden’s headquarters. I already let them know we’re coming. When we get to the airport I’ll give them another call.”
“What happens when we get there?”
“We’ll figure it out. One thing at a time, Ezrah.”
“Seems like that should be priority one.”
His eyes dart around the road and he hums noncommittally.
“Seriously, are we going to go to another safe house? Should I find someone for Dil to stay with? Do we need to book a hotel?”
“Working on it.”
For a while, we drive in tense silence until I can’t take it anymore. “Is there anything I can do?”
He just gives me a detached “uh huh” and I know something’s wrong. Then he lets go of my hand so he can use both of his to grip the wheel. His eyes dart between the road and the rearview mirror.
I look all around, but all I see is a handful of cars and some trees, nothing out of place.
"What is it?!" My voice comes out high and weak. "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to freak you out."
My heart pounds. “You saying that freaks me out."
He hesitates. "It could be nothing."
"Tell me anyway."
He lets out a defeated sigh. "Do you see that car right behind us?"
I glance back. Sure enough, there was one other car behind us on the back road. A beat-up-looking green thing with tinted windows. “Yeah, what about it?"
"I think it might be following us."
"What should we do?"
He glances back at the car. "It could be nothing. I don't want to overreact if it's just some guy. There aren’t a lot of road choices.” He lets out a long breath.