24. Lucas
Lucas
24
I’m still trying to catch my breath when Ezrah rolls off of me, falling to sit on the couch beside me. For a long time, we both just sat there in silence, staring at the wall. My heart pounds in my chest.
Did I say enough? Was it too much? My eyes flicker to him. He still hasn’t said anything. He hasn’t so much as looked at me. I chew the inside of my cheek.
Suddenly, Ezrah huffs, getting to his feet. Arms crossed, he keeps his eyes on the wall just above my head. “I guess you should be going now?
I squeeze my suddenly burning eyes shut, shaking my head, trying to keep tears back. “So that’s it? You just wanted a good time and you expect me to just leave like nothing happened? Ezrah, is that really all I am to you?”
“What?” his eyes snap from the wall to my face.
“That’s not fair to me, Ezrah. I- you know that I care about you. You know that. I won’t let you play with me like this.”
“How am I supposed to know that?!” he stomps a few steps across the room, then stops abruptly, obviously remembering that he’s naked. He pulls on his underwear, then walks across the room, stopping in front of the window. “You never said anything. How was I supposed to know?” he mutters, his voice sounding so small and fragile.
I hesitate. “What do you mean you didn’t know? Why did you think I- Ezrah, why did you call me here?”
He shakes his head, still not looking at me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Alright,” I get to my feet, not worrying about my nakedness, and slowly walk over to him, making sure he has plenty of time to turn away, but he doesn’t. “Why don’t we start with why I came?” I wrap my arms around his waist pulling him against my chest. “I missed you. I missed watching movies with you, drinking coffee with you, and eating together. I’ve wanted to come see you since the minute I dropped you off.”
He stiffens in my arms. I think for a second about letting him go, then he says in a voice so small I almost miss it. “Then why didn’t you call?”
“How could I?” I turn him so I could see his face. “After everything you’d been through, I didn’t want to push anything on you. When I didn’t hear anything, I thought it was because you wanted it that way. Maybe I reminded you too much of what happened, or you were upset that I couldn’t keep you from being hurt, or you just weren’t interested. You didn’t owe me an explanation.”
“You still haven’t said why you’re here”
“Because you asked me to come, and I would do anything for you.” I take a deep breath and step off the edge. “But most importantly, I came because, Ezrah, I love you.”
He shakes his head, eyes brimming with tears. “Don’t lie to me. Not about this. You can’t love me.”
“But I do. I love you Ezrah. I don’t expect you to say it back, but-”
“I love you too!” he says in a rush. I can feel the warmth of his flush radiating off his face.
“Yes!” I can feel that I’m grinning from ear to ear. I try to catch his eyes. His face is red, eyes averted. “Ezrah, can you please look at me?”
He shakes his head. “Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“If I do, then I might find out none of this is real. Just a dream or some kind of post fuck delusion.”
I put my hands on his chin, turning him to face me. “I’m here.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, desperate to block me out, block reality out.
“Come on, Ezrah. Open your eyes. Just look at me please.”
He hesitates but slowly opens his beautiful hazel eyes. They look up and search mine. My heart clenches at the fear and vulnerability I see there. “You’re really not going anywhere?”
“No, I’m not.”
He still looks unsure.
I’m going to get a straightforward, clear answer no matter how long it takes. “So, do you want to have a real relationship with me?”
He gives me a shaky smile. “Yes, I think I do.”
I grin again then, and lean in for another kiss. His arms wrap around my neck, holding on for dear life. I pull away leaving him panting.
“So should I go pack my things to move in or….” I trail off with a laugh
His face is serious in an instant, looking almost offended at the very suggestion. “Absolutely not.”
For a brief second fear strikes me and I worry that I’ve misread everything. Then he continues. “If we’re doing this, I want to do this right. Go home, text me your address. I’ll come pick you up on Friday. I want to take you out on a real date.”
I’m surprised. I like the idea, but I realize that Ezrah is missing some important information. I press another kiss to his forehead. “So there’s something I have to tell you.”
He looks instantly suspicious and he eyes me warily as he says, “What?”
I take a deep breath and plunge ahead. “It never really came up in conversation, and I wasn’t sure if you knew. Did you wonder why I didn’t come over yesterday when you called?”
He still looks like something bad is coming. “Kinda,” he says slowly.
“I had to fly here from Denver.”
“But you said you weren’t on a case?”
“I wasn’t. I live there.” I tell him. He turns his head and tries to walk away from me, but I hold him gently and keep talking. “I should say I lived there. When you called I packed all my stuff and flew here. I’m not planning on going back.”
He’s quit trying to pull away, but he still looks confused. “I just assumed you lived here. Wait, what about your job?”
I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t resist teasing him just a little. “I figured I’ll make a great house-slash-trophy husband,” I say with a straight face. “I can wear little frilly booty shorts and dust things in awkward positions. It’ll be awesome!”
Now Ezrah is looking at me like I have two heads, and I let a chuckle slip out at the slightly horrified, slightly intrigued expression on his face. “You’re picturing me in booty shorts, aren’t you? Actually, I’m on paid leave, like I said, and my bosses are looking into the logistics of me being posted in LA permanently. If for some reason that doesn’t work out, they’ll give me a glowing recommendation for a job at another agency. Either way, I’m staying close to you. But I don’t have a real address. I’m staying in a hotel for now.
“Okay,” Ezrah says slowly as he processes the information. “Can you afford that? Maybe you should just stay with me.”
As much as I love the idea, I think we should have a little bit of normal before we jump right into living together again. “I have an idea,” I tell him. “I have a pre-paid weekly rate at the hotel, and I can afford it just fine, it’s a nice place with a gym, and that’s all I need. How about I come over during the day and help with Dil, and we can go on a few dates and talk some more? I want you to be asking for the right reasons the next time you ask me to live with you.”
Ezrah smiles at me. “That sounds just right,” he says. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Absolutely,” I tell him. We get our clothes back on and I kiss him thoroughly before I leave. “I love you, Ezrah.”
He looks surprised to hear it again, but he answers me. “I love you, too.”
I drive reluctantly back to my hotel. I push down the fear that he won’t feel the same tomorrow. He didn’t need to do all that to get rid of me.
In the meantime, I give Jason a call to tell him how things went.
"Lucas," I can hear his grin over the phone. "Seems like you were over there a while. Did it go well?"
"Yeah, it really did. I'm going to help with the baby during the day, and we’re going to go on dates. I want him to be sure that this is what he wants, not just agree because I flew here.”
“I’m glad to hear it, man. I’m going to miss you at work, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.”
“I’ll miss you too, make sure you keep in touch,” I tell him.
After hanging up, I feed myself dinner, watch a movie on the hotel TV, and count the minutes until I can go back to Ezrah.
After a good solid run and workout the next morning, I spend the day with Dil and Ezrah, and the night alone. Things are friendly and affectionate between us, but I catch Ezrah staring at me during the day like he’s trying to understand what’s going on. The next day is the same, but Ezrah tells me to be ready for a date tonight and shoos me out the door about two.
Shortly after I get back to the hotel, my phone signals. I pick it up to find a text from Ezrah.
I’ll be there to pick you up a little before six. Dress nice
I can’t stop smiling as I reply I'm looking forward to it.
I hesitate at the closet. How nice is nice? Should I wear a dress shirt? Do I need a tie? I don’t have many nice clothes other than my black bodyguard suit. Frowning I shut the door. I don’t want to show up underdressed, so I send a message to ask.
It takes a while for the reply to come through. In the meantime, I lay out and reject countless outfits. Each rejection only makes me more nervous. I’m hoping to be put out of my misery when my phone goes off with another message from Ezrah.
I did something. Let me know if it's too much. It should be there soon. If it is too much just say the word and I can take it back.
I frown. I’m in the middle of asking him what he’s talking about when there’s a knock at the door.
I open it to see a well-dressed delivery man with a large box. “Good afternoon. Are you Lucas Harper?”
“Yeah,” I frown. “But I didn’t order anything?”
“No,” he agrees. “This was sent for you by Ezrah McKallas,” He holds out the box.
“Oh, uh thanks then?” I take the box inside and set it on the table.
I guess he did warn me that he bought something. I just didn’t think it would come to my door, or be this big.
I pull off the lid and began to peel away the tissue paper inside. My jaw almost drops at the sight of an obviously very expensive outfit. There was a dark gray suit and black silk shirt with a blood-red tie. Everything I needed was there, including shoes, socks, and underwear.
I picked up the silk boxer briefs with a smile and turned to my phone.
You didn’t need to do all that you know.
His reply came scarcely a moment later. It's too much isn’t it? I can return it if you want. Don’t feel like you have to wear it or whatever.
I chuckle. It’s cute how easily he gets flustered. I didn’t say that. Only that you didn’t have to.
Do you like it?
I do
Good. In that case I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.
Then I’ll be sure to wear it tonight
Can’t wait to see it
I check the time and go to get ready. Getting this fancy might take me a while.
Sure enough, I’m still scrambling to finish getting ready when there’s a knock at my door a few minutes before six. I race over and throw it open to see Ezrah waiting on the other side. The sight of him makes my heart ache, in the best way.
Ezrah is in a well-fitted black suit, his hair is brushed back, and I want nothing more than to pull him in for a kiss by that sky-blue tie.
He huffs jokingly. “I should have known you wouldn’t be ready on time.”
“I’m almost ready. I just have to get my tie on.”
He let out a dramatic sigh. “Just come here and let me do it.”
I bite back a smile, stepping where he can reach me.
His hands quickly tie a perfect double Windsor, then he pulls away, suddenly self-conscious.
“Does that look okay?”
“It looks perfect.” I bring our lips together in a sweet kiss.
When we pull back, he looks away and offers me his hand. “We should get going. The restaurant can’t hold our reservation forever.”
“A reservation, how fancy!”
He rolls his eyes as we head out to his car.
I chat about the gym in my hotel, and my last workout while we drive the few miles to the waiting restaurant. When I see it I gasp.
“Are you serious?!” I gush. “Is this the one from Love Love Love?!”
He rubs at the back of his head shyly. “It might be. You said it was your favorite movie at the cabin. So I just thought--”
“I love it!”
I see his shoulders slump in relief. “Good, I was worried it might be a bit much. There are no burgers on the menu after all.”
“I think I’ll find a way to manage. Shall we?”
He frowns but climbs out of the car. “That’s supposed to be my line.”
“Then you’d better keep up babe.”
Inside we’re met by a smiling server. “Mr. McKallas, your table is ready if you’d like to follow me.”
As I look around, I’m glad Ezrah sent me something to wear. The jackets alone the other guests were wearing were probably worth more than all my clothes put together. Ezrah must have noticed me looking because he squeezes my hand.
“Here’s your table, menus, and wine list. Your server will be along in a minute.”
Then the two of us are alone at a small table in the back corner, a candle flickering in a mirrored jar on the creme tablecloth.
I pick up the menu and frown. “There are no prices on this.”
He hums without looking up. “So what were you thinking about the wine list?”
“Let’s go with a white wine.” I snorted. “I can’t believe you got me a wife’s menu. I didn’t even know they still made these.”
“They’re called sweetheart menus now. Gender neutral.”
“Of course. So modern.”
“Just look at the menu.”
I don’t bother hiding the way I’m beaming at him. “I think it's sweet you want to wine and dine me.”
“It’s the least I can do.”
“I meant it when I said you didn’t need to do anything. You know that right?”
He looks away.
We enjoy a meal of dishes I’d never heard of. They never even bring a bill. Ezrah just hands over a card to pay a mystery amount of money.
On the walk back to the car, I can’t stop smiling. “I had a really good time.”
He flushes. “Hopefully you like the next stop too.”
The next stop was a botanical garden, featured in another movie we watched together. We went on a beautiful moonlight stroll in their night garden.
Finally, we come to a stop at a hotel. “This one’s not from a movie,” Ezrah flushes. “I just thought the place was nice and you might like it.” He frowns. “Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve been to award parties here and I always thought it would be nice to bring someone here someday.”
“Then I’m honored to be the one you chose to bring.”
“You don’t need to be so sappy about it.”
I reach over to squeeze his hand. I want him to know I’m not making fun of him. “What can I say, you make me sappy.”
We go inside and check in before riding the elevator up to our room. The air grows more and more charged with every passing second. It isn’t the rolling boil of a pot about to overflow, but a slow and steady simmer.
There are words on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them in until we’re in the room. Ezrah unlocks the door and holds it for me before closing it behind us.
It’s a large suite, done in shades of blue and cream. The bulk of the space is taken up by the king-sized bed, but there’s also a sizable bathroom with a large tub and separate shower as well as a living area with a TV and sofa.
“So? What do you think?” Ezrah asks.
I pull him in for a sweet kiss. “It's perfect.”
“Then why do you seem so…” he trails off.
“I love it, really.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, just- there was something I was thinking about asking if we could try, but it can wait for a different day.”
“I think a romantic evening in a hotel is the exact time to ask to try something. So what? You want to tie me up or something?”
I flush. “Not what I was thinking exactly, but maybe we can circle back to that?”
He blushes a little, but looks at me expectantly.
“I just thought, maybe tonight, you could be the one to fuck me, if that’s something you’re into.”
Ezrah looks shocked.
“You don’t have to, of course. You can forget I asked and we can-”
“That’s- you really want me to?”
“Only if you want to.”
“I do but I’ve never topped before, I never got the chance. I’ve thought about it, though.”
I let out a breath, smiling at him. “Don’t worry, I’ve never bottomed either, people assumed because of my job and my size that I just topped, and I never wanted to ask before, but I think we can manage if you want to try.”
“I do. I want that with you.”
“Good, me too.”
At this point, most people would kiss, get down to business, or something like that, but we just stand here staring at each other. His hand is in mine. My heart pounds in my chest, eyes flickering over his face.
Ezrah licks his lips. “We should move to the bed for this.”
My hands move to the buttons on my jacket, but he covers them with his own.
“Wait, I want to do it.”
I let my arms fall to my sides, smiling down at him.
He undoes each button with care, slipping the jacket from my shoulders before hanging it on the back of the desk chair. Then it’s onto my shirt buttons. Each time one was undone, he paused for a minute to trace over the skin with his fingertips.
I let out a shiver as his hands venture deeper beneath the fabric, brushing over my nipples before returning to their task.
He pauses, looking into my eyes as he tugs my shirt free from my pants before undoing the final buttons and sliding it off my shoulders.
It hits the ground as my lips hit his. I can’t help it, I lean in, licking into his mouth. I need to consume him. I need to breathe him into my lungs and hold him there.
He pulls back, a shy smile on his face, but his eyes hold mine instead of looking away. “Usually I’m the one rushing things.”
“What can I say, I guess you’re rubbing off on me,” I roll my hips against his.
His hands grab my hips, holding them still, a huff of laughter on his lips. “Let's start with getting these off of you.”
His hands flick my pants button open and tug them down. When he sees what’s underneath, Ezrah’s hands stop.
“You wore them?” he flushes, eyes locked on the red silk hugging my body.
“Well yeah? You got them for me and they’re nice.”
“I’m glad you like them. Get on the bed.”
I crawled to the center, giving a little stretch before lying on my back, arms open, legs slightly spread, eyes locked on him.
He licks his lips and then sets to work quickly on his own clothes.
I bite back a laugh. He’s much less gentle with his clothes, ripping them off like they’re on fire. Clad in his own boxer briefs, which also color coordinate with his tie, he climbs in beside me.
He brings a hand to my cheek slowly bringing our lips together. The kiss is gentle, reassuring almost. His hands stay planted firm but gentle, one cupping my cheek, the other on my neck. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him on top of me.
My legs bracket his hips and I pull him down so his weight rests against me. There’s something so grounding and reassuring about the way his body pushes mine into the mattress. My hands roam over his bare back.
Every inch of skin felt like an oasis in the desert, but I need more.
Ezrah pulls back, eyes wide in awe. He looks down at me. “God, Lucas, I’ve never seen you like this before.”
I open my mouth to say something, try to explain how I’m feeling, but then his lips are against my neck. All I can do is moan. He licks and nibbles his way down my neck and across my collarbone, leaving a treasure map of small marks in his wake.
Each brush of his lips, every touch of his hands burns through me like fire. He hasn’t even touched my cock and I feel half a second away from coming.
“Ezrah,” I beg. “Please!”
He hums, clearly having fun being on the other side of this equation. “Please what?”
“Fuck me.”
“But Lucas, we only just got started. What is it you always tell me, I want to take my time with you?”
“Since when do you have the patience for that?”
He smirks. “Well, this is different. This is special.”
“I like to think every time we make love is special.”
He rolls his eyes, pressing his smiling face against my stomach. Then his lips are back, this time working over my chest and then downward.
My hands clutch at his hair. I’ll never get over how soft it is between my fingers, like silk. It shines red in the low light of the hotel room. It takes a lot of effort to keep my hands gentle. Part of me wants nothing more than to press his face to me harder, but that will ruin his carefully planned journey.
Finally, finally! He reaches the band of my boxer briefs. He pulls away, locking eyes with me as he slides them down, tossing them to the floor. Then, he leans over and takes as much of me as he can into his mouth.
Eyes still meeting mine, he hollows his cheeks, bobbing along my length. I cry out, fighting hard against the urge to buck into his mouth.
Then I can hear him opening the lube. My heart hammers in my chest as he brings a slicked finger to my hole.
I spread my legs wider, but he doesn’t push in, just rubs along the entrance. I can feel myself relaxing into his touch. Only when I’m butter in his hands does he start to push in. He goes slow, only to the first knuckle, shallowly thrusting, giving me time to adjust.
“Ez, I know I’m new to this side of things but if you go this slow we might not get to the main event.”
He pulls off of me with a wet pop. “Then we can go again later. It's fine by me if you come on my fingers.”
“Maybe we can do that another day. Tonight I’m planning on coming on your cock.”
He finally pushes the first finger all the way inside. “Maybe,” he teases, “but tonight you’re not in charge, are you?”
Then his mouth is back on my cock, his finger slowly pulling out and pushing in over and over again. All I can do is clutch at the blankets and hold on for the ride.
“Ezrah,” I warn after a particularly well-placed lick under the head. “I’m getting close. You need to give me more!”
He pulls off, taking his hand away too with a dark chuckle. “Funny, you were so desperate to come on my cock and you’re already begging for more.”
I’m too far gone to reply.
“Look at you,” he sits back, looking me up and down.
I spread my legs further, trying to appear enticing.
“Don’t worry,” he presses a kiss to my stomach. “I’m going to take good care of you, so just relax and enjoy the ride.”
He presses two fingers inside me. A high-pitched moan reaches my ears sounding so foreign I almost don’t recognize it as mine.
“Oh, that’s beautiful,” he groans, voice deep and husky. “That’s it. Let me hear how I make you feel.”
When he curls his fingers, shooting sparks of pleasure through every fiber of my body I couldn’t have held it in if I tried.
I push into his leisurely thrusts, whimpering for more, his name falling from my lips like a prayer
Ezrah watches me with wide eyes. “My god, it's like you were made for this.”
I let out another moan. “More! Please, I need more! I need you.”
“I’m here,” he catches my hand in his. “I’ve got you.”
I can't help myself. I begged and pleaded desperately for whatever he would give me. Ezrah looked down at me in awe and wonder.
As if in a trance, he pulls back. His hand leaves mine and I can hear him getting himself ready. Then he’s on top of me, one set of our hands tangled together by my head while his other hand lines himself up.
"Are you ready?"
"Please," I try to push my hips forward, impatient that he’s still asking but touched by the consideration all the same.
"Alright," he kisses my forehead. "Just tell me if it's too much."
Then he’s pressing inside of me. My head falls back, a moan being pressed out of me as he fills me.
I savor the stretch. The drag of him inside me. I feel close to him in a way I didn't know I could. When he’s fully seated inside of me, I trail a hand between us, tracing over where we’re joined in awe.
"Are you okay?" He pants.
I let out a small giggle, delirious with the pleasure washing over me. “You feel so good. Now, fuck me like you mean it."
"I'm not here to fuck you. I'm here to make love to you."
Something warm and soft breaks open inside my chest. I want to say something to tell him how amazing that was and how much it means to me, but he chooses that exact moment to roll his hips, rubbing inside of me just right.
All I can get out is a high-pitched keening noise.
"God, Lucas," he leans his forehead against mine, trying to keep his weight off me, but I pull him down against me.
A contented grunt escapes me as his body presses me deeper into the mattress.
"You're so perfect for this. Perfect for me. It's like we were made to be together."
I lock my heels behind his back, urging him on. "Please."
"You know you don't have to beg me. Whatever you need I'll give it to you. Whatever you want I'll give it to you."
“You, all I want is you.”
“You have me.”
He picks up the pace, thrusting into me hard enough that I hang on for dear life. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge.
Ezrah reaches down to get a hand on me.
“No,” I take his hand in mine. “I want to come like this.”
He pulls his hand away, with a smile on his face. He doubles his efforts. It’s not long before I tip over the edge with a cry.
I think I hear Ezrah let out a sigh of relief before he comes inside me. We lay there, wrapped around each other, breathing each other in.
Ezrah tries to pull back but I hold him in place. “I should move, get you cleaned up,” he says.
“No, I don’t want you to go,” my speech feels clumsy, body heavy.
He chuckles. “You’re just tired, let’s get you into bed, love.”
“Love,” I grin. “You’ve never called me that before.”
“No?”
“No. I like it. Say it again.” I grumble as he successfully slips from my arms.
“I’ll say it as many times as you want if you get in bed, love.”
“Fine,” I grumble but comply.
Ezrah takes his time, carefully cleaning me and tucking me under the covers before climbing in beside me.
In the quiet dark, I lay on his chest. “Thank you for everything,” I whisper. “Today was perfect.”