23. Ezrah
Ezrah
23
He stands in the doorway, and neither of us says a word for an awkward moment. I step aside, motioning him in.
“Dil’s in the living room,” I say, looking pointedly at the wall.
I start walking, not letting myself wait to see if he follows. I definitely didn’t glance back to see if he was watching me.
When he spots Dil he lights up, racing over to her.
“Hey there Dil pickle!” He joins her on the floor. “How’ve you been? I've missed you little one.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, turning away. I should have known. He’s only here for her. This isn’t about us, because there is no us.
I sit down with my laptop, trying not to look at them while he plays on the floor with Dil. I’m not watching. I’m working.
To my shock, I get more done in those few hours than I have in days. I fly through my work, managing to almost finish my draft before I look up to see them snuggling on the floor together.
They look like they belong there happy and safe, I think with a sharp pang in my heart. I shake my head and turn back to my work.
They snuggle for a few minutes longer, but she is obviously ready for a nap.
I rise to my feet. “I’m going to go put her down.”
Lucas has the audacity to smile at me. “I’ll be waiting when you get back. We should talk.”
Sure you will, I think to myself, but what I say is, “Sounds good.”
I get her settled into bed and reluctantly head back out to the living room. Despite what he said, I’m fully expecting Lucas to be gone by the time I get back.
But he’s not.
He’s over by the bookshelf, looking at pictures I’d put up of Dil. He turns to me with a smile when I come in.
I take a seat on the couch, studying him. He’s still smiling, walking over to me and sitting close. Too close.
I fight against the urge to lean into the warmth radiating off of him.
“How’ve you been, Ezrah?” he asks. “It must be nice to be home.”
I grit my teeth. It almost feels like he’s mocking me. “I’ve been fine. What about you? Enjoying your new case?”
“I don’t have one yet. I’m on paid leave for the next two weeks.”
I try to swallow down the bitter taste in my throat. Part of me had been holding out hope that he did want to call me. That he’d just been busy. “Must be nice having time to yourself. Like a little vacation.”
“Not exactly. This has been more like being grounded as a kid. Being at the cabin in a lot of ways felt more like a vacation. ”
I stiffen. “What exactly are you getting at?”
He lets out a long breath. “I have to say something.” He shoots to his feet, turning to me, pining me with his gaze. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into the couch cushions. “I missed you, Ezrah.”
I shake my head. I want to ask him why he’s lying to me. I wanted to demand an explanation. To know why he didn’t come and see me if that was true.
“You couldn’t miss me.”
“Why not?”
I just shake my head.
“Please, let me show you?”
I hesitate for a moment, but I can’t say no. I give him a small nod. There’s that smile again. The one I can never say no to. It was like I’d given him the sun. His hand comes up to cup my cheek. I hold so still I’m not even sure I’m breathing. Then, he leans in.
Lucas’s lips are on mine and it feels like coming home. It’s a gentle kiss, filled with longing.
I should push him away. I didn’t want to be a one-night stand, but his kiss is like a drug and I just need one more hit. It melts something inside me. I want to cling to him and beg him to stay.
He pulls back, resting his forehead on mine. “Is this alright?”
A giddy giggle slips out and I rope my arms around his neck, pulling him against me.
The kiss is hotter this time, with more intent behind it. I pushed him back onto the sofa, climbing on his lap.
His hands tighten on my hips as our lips dance. There’s an underlying desperation that was absent from our previous dalliances.
My hands fist his shirt so hard I worry the fabric might rip. I need to consume him, to bring him so far into my soul he can never hope to find his way out.
“Do you want more?” he asks, lips against mine.
“Yes!” my voice is already so wrecked and he hasn’t even so much as taken my shirt off yet.
“Don’t worry,” he kisses across my neck, then down my jaw. “I’ll give you whatever you want. All you have to do is tell me.”
“Touch me!”
“I am,” he smiles against my neck, raking his teeth against the sensitive flesh.
I gasp, clutching at his shoulders. “Please!”
“Please what?”
“Will you at least take my shirt off!”
“If that’s what you want.” He pulls back just enough to tug my shirt over my head.
“Yours too,” I whine.
He chuckles at that but complies.
When I see his chest, my mouth starts to water. I reach out, running my hands over his skin. I look up to see him watching me.
“No need to stop on my account. You can touch as much as you want.” His hands cover mine, pressing them to his chest where I can feel his heart pounding just beneath the skin.
Then his hands are back on my hips, his own rolling up to meet mine. I flush at the feeling of his growing erection pressing against me.
“Do you feel that?” he whispers hot in my ear. “It’s all for you.”
I moan, hands grabbing at any skin they can touch. My head lulled against his shoulder. “More please!”
“More? What more could you want?”
I huff, reaching down and grabbing his dick through his pants. “What were you planning on doing with this?”
“I don’t know. What do you want me to do with it?”
I was so worked up my lips moved before I could think about it or get embarrassed. “I want to suck it, and then I want you to fuck me with it.”
“Go on then,” he grins at me.
I slide off of him and sink to the floor, looking up at him from my spot between his legs. My hands move to his fly then hesitate.
When his gaze meet mine, all hesitation is gone. I all but rip his pants open to free his cock. It stands tall, thick in my hand, with the perfect curve like it was crafted just for me. One of his hands comes up to stoke gently in my hair, fingers lightly scratching against my scalp.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I lean in, pressing sloppy open-mouth kisses to the side of the shaft, working my way from the base to the tip. Lucas sighs under my touch, making happy, content noises, hands staying gentle. When I made it to the tip, I take it into my mouth, sucking at it.
“God, your mouth, Ezrah. You’re perfect,” he groans. More, mostly incoherent, praise falls from his lips as I take more of him. Bobbing my head, I savor the taste of his skin and precum against my tongue until he urges me up.
“Ezrah, if you want me to fuck you, you need to stop,” he warns.
I pull off with a pop. “Where do you want to do this?”
“Wherever makes you the most comfortable.”
“Right here works just fine. Just let me grab something.”
I race into my bedroom to grab a condom and a bottle of lube, wincing at how messy it is. Just as well we’re staying in the living room. When I get back I all but leap into his lap, straddling his hips.
“Slow down,” his hands steady my hips. “There’s no reason to rush.”
“I can think of a few,” I roll the condom on him and move to sink down.
“Wait, don’t we need to prep you?”
I flush. “I may have taken care of it before you got here.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Don’t do that again. That’s my job.”
Again.
I push back the hope that rises in me, then slowly sheath him. I let out a long, loud moan as he stretches and fills every inch of me. My thighs tremble, sweat breaking out across my back at the sensory overwhelm of having him inside me again.
“Oh fuck, Lucas!” I sigh, working my body against his.
It’s like he’s pumping pleasure straight into my veins. I smash our faces together in a furious kiss.
I don’t want there to be any space between us. I want to breathe him in. I want to lock him in my heart. I never, ever want to let him go.
But this can’t go on forever.
I feel my pleasure rising to a peak. My hands clutch at Lucas’s shoulders, his name falling from my lips like a prayer.
“Lucas, touch me, please! Please!”
“Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ve got you.”
The second his hand brushes my cock, I rocket off the edge, crying his name.
The pleasure feels endless. Like getting struck by lightning but the lightning never stops. It shoots down my spine, through my legs. Every muscle in my body goes rigid. Distantly, I feel Lucas thrusting a few more times before coming with a soft cry of my name.
I go so limp it feels like my bones are made of pudding.
What did I just do?