Chapter 57
Another daywithout a call from Ethan. He sent us all a message saying he was busy with his dissertation. His mentor had edited and reviewed it, but there were some final touches to make before submission.
Once he finished, everything would be back to normal. Normal would be having him here with us. It had been five weeks since he’d left, and I knew we were drifting further and further apart. Two different oceans. Two different worlds.
I walked to the shop to collect the mail. I needed company. I needed to talk to another adult. Winter was coming, and I didn’t have the distraction of tours anymore.
The cool wind, unusual for this time of year, encouraged me to pick up my pace. The bell jingled as I entered. Jack looked up from his crossword puzzle.
“Hi, Jack.”
“How are you going, Jasmine?”
I shrugged.
He pursed his lips and put his pen down. “How’s Ethan?”
I shrugged again.
“You know, you’re going to have to use your words.”
He led me to the living area. Lily was busy sewing some hanging pouches for native rescue animals. No wonder she hadn’t come out. She wouldn’t have heard the bell. She stopped the sewing machine when she saw us.
Jack motioned me to the couch. “Jasmine was about to tell me how Ethan is.”
I sat on the edge. “He’s busy. We haven’t spoken for a few days.”
“Poor Ethan. He must be working so hard.” Lily left her sewing and sat beside me.
My stomach tightened. I’d been worrying about how much I missed him. Not about how exhausted he must be.
“I wish he was here.”
Lily took my hand. “I understand why he couldn’t stay.”
I sighed. “Me too. That’s why I didn’t ask him to. He’s been working towards this his whole life.”
Jack sat on the arm of a chair. “Once he gets his doctorate are you going to ask him to come back?”
“I can’t. That wouldn’t be fair.”
Lily gently rubbed my hand. “Are you scared he will choose his career over you?”
“Why wouldn’t he? We both knew we’d be over after the six months.”
“So, you’re just going to pine for him?” Jack asked. The voice of reason.
“No.” I took my hand from Lily.
“Maybe he doesn’t know returning is an option. You need to communicate that.”
Was it a choice he wanted to make though? I’d have him back tomorrow if I could. But there were two people in this ‘love is us’ equation. I rested my head in my hands. The worst that could happen if I asked him was that he said no. At least I’d know then.
“I’ll ask after his submission.”
I collected the mail and walked back to the office via the beach. I could ask Ethan to come back. The question was, would he be happy here with us? I sat on the sand and stared out at the water. I’d given everything I could and hadn’t feared rejection because it was inevitable he was going to leave. I hadn’t asked him to stay because I didn’t think we were enough for him. How could we compare to a prestigious career? In reality, I was hiding behind his job as much as he was.
The soft lapping of the ocean soothed me. The only solution in my mind had been for Ethan to come back here. Instead, we could always move to be with him. I gazed around the bay—quiet, secluded and calm, the water darker now that winter was upon us. This was our home, our haven. It didn’t mean we couldn’t make a home somewhere else. Ethan wasn’t the only one who could make a sacrifice. We could too. We could give up our slice of paradise. Being with him was the most important thing. That’s what I wanted most. And so did Bailey and Rose. Their hearts were full of love for him.
After his dissertation submission, we needed to talk. I needed to put my heart on the line.