SEAL of Courage (Iron Tide Brotherhood #3)

Prologue Anastasia

Sawyer’s shop is pristinely organized, every single tool in its place. Which makes it easy to navigate in the dark. I follow a path through the main bay toward his office. There’s a single light on inside, offering a faint glow that gets brighter the closer I get.

Heart racing, I pause just outside the cracked door.

This is silly. Sawyer Maddox is one of my best friends. So why do I feel so nervous?

Pull yourself together, Anastasia. It’s just Sawyer.

I knock on the door, then push it open. Sawyer is seated behind his desk, baseball cap on backward, a black t-shirt stretched over his muscled chest. How does he look so good even when there’s grease smeared on his cheek?

“Anastasia,” he says, eyes widening in surprise.

“So you remember my name; that’s good.” I walk in and take a seat in the worn leather chair on the other side of his desk.

The corners of his lips twitch. “Of course I remember you.” His expression turns serious. “Is everything okay?”

He’s so much colder now. Distant. Even though, technically, he’s being perfectly kind, this isn’t the Sawyer I know. The one who would do anything to see me smile. Who’d hang out at the coffee shop whenever he had a spare moment so I’d have someone to talk to when there was a lull.

I never really realized what I had until he stopped showing up. And now, I’d do anything to find out what I did to chase him away.

“Everything’s fine. I just dropped Thomas off at Weston’s and thought I’d check in and make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.” He glances back down at the papers he was looking at when I came in, resuming his work like I’m not there. My chest aches, a pain blooming at his clear dismissal. What did I do?

“Are we okay?” I ask hesitantly. I’ve never been afraid of confrontation, but this time? I think I’m afraid of his answer.

“We’re fine, Anastasia. I’m just busy. You’ve got Jack and the shop; you know how it goes.”

His words say one thing, but his expression tells an entirely different story.

“Yeah, I guess so. You’re okay, though?” Ever since he was released from the hospital, Sawyer’s been in his own world. He’s even missed dinner at my mom’s a couple of times over the past few weeks, which is completely unusual.

“Of course.” He flashes me a smile, but it’s not his. Sawyer’s smile always made his caramel eyes light up. But this one is plastered on his face like he’s being forced to keep it there. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

My heart falls. “Not sure. Just figured I’d ask.”

He goes back to his papers once more, so I stand. “Well, I guess I’ll get going then.”

“Okay. It was good to see you. Thanks for stopping in.” He offers me another smile, so I push out of the room, my heart sinking with each step between us.

Thanks for stopping in.

There was a time I thought Sawyer might be the one. As cheesy as that sounds. But then, as time passed and he never acted on what I thought was between us, I moved on. I had to, right? I couldn’t wait around forever.

We’d definitely had a spark.

A connection.

But then I started dating Jack, and we’d maintained our friendship. Which only solidified that’s all it would ever be. After all, if he truly felt for me what I thought I felt for him, he’d have said something, right?

Then he’d gone missing.

Those hours when I thought I’d lost Sawyer were the worst in my life. I’d been devastated by the loss. Desperate to get him back. And then I did. Except—this isn’t him. Not the man I lost.

Not the funny, kind, adoring Sawyer Maddox who stole my heart in the first five minutes of meeting.

Anger pushes past the hurt, and I whirl on him. “No.”

“No?” He looks up at me.

“No. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to be cold. I didn’t do anything to deserve it.” I cross my arms.

Sawyer stands slowly, then crosses his, too. The tattoo on his right arm flexes with his muscles, drawing my attention for a brief moment before it shoots back to his face. “I didn’t realize I was being cold.”

“You’re not being you.” I throw my hands up in the air. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“I’m not trying to be cold, Anastasia, I’m just trying to be respectful.”

“Of what?”

“Your relationship with Jack. He’s a good guy. I was wrong, so I took a step back.” His tone is ridiculously level—lacking all emotion. This is the guy who got emotional when Inigo Montoya confronted his father’s killer in The Princess Bride. Yet, as he stands here now, he might as well be stone.

I glare at him as the truth settles over me.

“Is that what this is about? We were friends long before I met Jack. I didn’t realize that having him in my life meant I’d lose you.

” The very thought makes my stomach churn.

Emotion burns in my throat, an unyielding lump that will strangle me if I let it.

Why does this hurt so bad?

Sawyer comes around his desk, his expression softening just slightly. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

“No. You’re standing here, but you’re not really here.” Tears burn in the corners of my eyes. “I miss my friend.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“You almost—” I trail off, swallowing down past the lump in my throat. “You almost died.”

“It’s not the first time,” he replies, tone flat.

I shake my head, the hurt deepening with every moment I spend standing here in front of him.

“Look, Anastasia, Jack is your boyfriend. If I were him and some guy was hanging around you the way I was, I wouldn’t be happy about it. The last thing I want to do is cause you problems.”

But you’re not some guy. “Sawyer—”

“Now it’s my time to say no,” he interrupts, frustration taking over and erasing the emotionless facade.

At least it’s something. Anger is better than the cold.

“You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you never saw the way I looked at you.

Everyone in town saw it. Now, I’m moving on, and you don’t get to come in here demanding answers to anything. You chose him!”

His words slam into me one after the other, like waves battering a rocky shore. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you never saw the way I looked at you.”

But I didn’t see. Not really…did I? Sure, I felt something for him, but he never gave me any indication. Nothing that said he might feel the same. “You never asked!”

Sawyer swallows hard. “And that’s the fantastic choice that I get to live with. But I’m moving on, Anastasia, and I suggest you do the same.”

My cell phone rings, and Jack’s name lights up on the screen.

“Look at that; you’re already halfway there. I’ll see you around, Anastasia.”

His dismissal might as well have been a slap in the face. “Don’t bother. I have nothing else to say to you, Sawyer Maddox.” With tears in my eyes, I point at him. “Jack has never cared that we were friends because it meant the world to me. It clearly never meant the same to you.”

He clenches his jaw, then takes a step closer. “Anastasia.”

Shaking my head, I don’t give him the chance to respond as I rush out the front door of the mechanic’s shop and out onto the dark street. Why didn’t I just park in the back parking lot and walk home?

With trembling fingers, I try to get the keys out of my pocket, but they fall to the ground. “Come on.”

When I’ve finally picked them up, I straighten, my vision so blurry I can hardly see anything. And then—bright headlights. Too close.

A memory slams into me, one that, despite happening eighteen years ago, is still far too fresh in my mind.

A dark street.

Screeching tires.

Twisted metal.

Blood. So much blood.

I scream.

Strong hands rip me back against a hard body. We go to the ground as the car continues speeding off into the night. My heart is pounding so hard I’m sure it’ll shatter my ribcage. As the seconds tick by, I can still see the blood.

On my hands.

On her face.

The hard body beneath me is unfamiliar, but the scent of motor oil and pine rips me back to the present. “Are you okay?” Sawyer rolls me over and pulls me to my feet, then runs his hands over my arms.

Body trembling, I can’t catch my breath. What just happened?

“Anastasia, are you okay?” He cups my face and forces me to look at him. His caramel-colored eyes are wide, his unruly hair a mess without his ball cap.

Was it knocked off when he took me to the ground?

“I—think so.”

“We need to get you inside. Come on.”

And then the events of the last few minutes hit me all over again.

“No.” I shove him off, anger and hurt pushing through all logic that I probably should let him make sure I’m okay.

But I can’t do that. I can’t face him again in close quarters.

Not yet. Not until I’ve fully pushed past this crush that threatens to destroy me. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Sawyer takes a step away from me. “You almost got hit. Why didn’t you move?”

Because I was taken back eighteen years ago. “I was too close to the road.” I look at where I’d parked. It’s no wonder I was almost hit. In my nervous anticipation at seeing Sawyer, I’d practically parked on the street.

“Please come inside, let me look at you in the light. Make sure you’re okay. Then I can walk you over to your shop.”

“I’m fine,” I snap. “I’ll just call Jack and have him fly in to take care of me.” The moment the words are out of my mouth, I want to rip them back.

Sawyer’s expression goes cold once more. Colder even. It’s surreal, really, to watch his worry fade away, replaced by an icy facade that is so not the Sawyer I know.

But I put it there.

I put that pain on his face with my harsh words.

“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I’m just rattled. Thanks for saving me. I really am okay.” But I’m anything but. I’m shaken—my entire body trembling as the understanding that I could have died settles over me.

“Yeah. Well, I’ll call Zane and let him know what happened anyway. You may want to get checked.” Without another word, Sawyer turns away, lifts his baseball cap from the ground, and heads into the shop, his powerful shoulders slumped…defeated.

And it’s all my fault.