Chapter 1
Sawyer
Six Months Later
“Thanks, boss,” he replies. Drew Wilson’s been with me since I bought the place from old man Karver after he retired. Drew hadn’t been a licensed mechanic back then, but he’s come a long way since and is the only member of my staff I’d actually leave in charge of things when I’m gone.
Since the orders have dried up, though, and we’re no longer unofficially assigned to a government agency that doesn’t technically exist, I don’t have many places to be.
“The red minivan in bay three needs new brake pads, and the truck in bay one needs an oil change,” I tell him, mentally going through the list as I take a swig of water.
Reaching up, I take my backward baseball cap off and stick it into my back pocket, then pull out a handkerchief and wipe the sweat from my brow.
We haven’t quite reached fall colors yet, and the humid heat certainly hasn’t let up even a bit.
“I’ll get it taken care of. Mikey should be back from lunch soon.”
“Lunch?” Brow furrowed, I check my watch, surprised to see that it’s already thirty minutes past two. How did I miss lunch?
Drew smirks. “You should go grab something to eat, boss. I’ve got it covered. Jenny packed my lunch today.” His wife, pregnant with their third child, has been in full-blown baking mode for the past few weeks.
Honestly, if she brings in any more cookies, I might end up in trouble. We all have our weaknesses, right? Superman has kryptonite, and I have peanut butter cookies. You put one in my vicinity, and it doesn’t matter if I’m stuffed; I’ll devour it like a starving man.
“Yeah. I think I will. You good for a bit?”
“Right as rain,” he replies, then starts lowering Mr. Rodney’s truck from the lift.
Since my shop is right smack dab in the center of town, I don’t bother with my motorcycle or my truck as I step out into the sunlight.
Though I do fight the urge to glance over at the back entrance to the coffee shop I share a parking lot with.
Just to see if I can get a glimpse of her.
Get your head on straight, Sawyer.
Food. I need food. That will help me clear my head. So, I put one foot in front of the other and make my way toward the diner.
The heat beats down on me, but truthfully, I don’t mind it. I’ve spent a lot of years in the cold; being warm has been a nice change. Salty sea air fills my lungs, combined with a soft, floral scent drifting down the street, thanks to all the sweet olive bushes planted along the roadside.
“Hey there, Sawyer!” I turn to the left as Thomas Holt—my best friend’s son—calls out to me.
“Hey, kid. What are you up to?”
“Just headed to the community center.”
“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I ask, studying him. You wouldn’t know by looking at him, but it wasn’t six months ago that the fourteen-year-old was facing losing his mom. Of course, I was right there in the hot water with her, shot and waiting for a death that I genuinely thought might come.
Back then, Garrison was just the kid’s neighbor. Now, he’s married to Thomas’ mom, Katelyn, and the three of them are expecting a fourth member of the family soon.
He’s a happy kid who always has a bright smile for everyone. But these days, his smile is just a bit brighter.
“Short day,” he explains as he falls into step beside me.
“Nice. Loved those when I was a kid. I’m headed to grab some food. You interested?”
“Wish I could. Garrison is waiting for me. We’re gonna play some hoops at the center, then hit the batting cages. See ya!” he calls out as he takes off down the street.
“See ya, Thomas!”
Garrison is a counselor who also runs the local community center.
It’s become a safe haven for teens of all kinds.
Troubled ones, bored ones—they all get along when they’re there.
I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d had that when I was a kid.
Maybe I wouldn’t have spent so much time in the back of a police car.
The door to the diner opens at the same time as I reach forward to open it. The edge of it nearly slams into my face, but I catch it with my hand right as a petite blonde calls out, “Thanks, Maddie! I’ll see you in a bit!”
She turns toward me, and a pair of large, gorgeous hazel eyes widens.
As always, when I see Anastasia Knox, the air leaves my lungs, and my body reacts before my brain even has the chance to recognize her standing there, looking beyond beautiful in the afternoon sunlight.
It shines down on her, revealing golden strands in her hair and bright flecks of copper in her eyes. But just as quickly as it hits me, she’s backing away.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you.” Quickly averting her gaze from me, she moves around and steps down onto the sidewalk, avoiding even the slightest contact with me like I’m a deadly disease and she can’t afford getting sick.
“It’s okay.” Even though I know she’s bad for me, I let the door close so I can turn toward her.
She looks so much the same but might as well be a stranger.
She’s cut her hair, shortening it so the silky blonde strands brush the tops of her shoulders.
There’s a dark color dusted over her eyes, somehow making her hazel eyes shine even brighter.
And those lips that have haunted my every waking moment since I first met her nearly seven years ago are painted a soft pink.
“Your hair looks good,” I say quickly, realizing that I’m staring at her like an idiot while my treacherous heart slams against my ribs. Does she hear it? Does she know that, after all this time, all this distance I put between us, it still beats for her?
“Thanks.” She reaches up and touches it with one hand while the other holds onto a folder. “Um, hope you’re well.”
Hope you’re well.
Seven years of friendship summed up in three words.
All because I was too much of a coward to tell her how I felt before she met FBI Agent Jack Weathers.
Now, she’s nearly eight months into a relationship with him, and I’m only waiting for a diamond ring to appear on her finger, driving the final nail into my coffin.
Losing her forever will kill me.
But as long as she’s happy, it’s a death I’ll walk toward in silence.
“Yeah. You, too,” I reply, the words vile on my tongue.
Anastasia forces a smile, then turns and heads down the street toward her coffee shop. I watch her walk away, the sundress straps leaving most of the olive-toned skin of her shoulders bare.
Walking away from her six months ago was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
That includes getting shot, stabbed, and walking headfirst into danger whenever the government ordered it so. Truth is, I’d go through everything all over again if it meant I’d have a chance to tell her the truth.
To tell my best friend that I am absolutely head over heels in love with her and have been since the moment we met.
But I can’t go back. And now she’s with him.
With a deep breath, I force my attention away from her and head into the diner.
The smell of food makes my stomach growl as I pull the door open and step inside.
The place isn’t busy, which makes sense, given the late lunch hour.
It’ll be bustling in a few hours as the dinner crowd comes running, though.
“Hey, Sawyer!”
“Hey, Maddie. Good day?” As usual, her greying hair is pulled back in a tight bun, and her diner uniform is crisp as the moment she put it on. Not much rattles her, that’s for sure.
“God woke me up this morning, so I’d say so.” She flashes a smile as she stops in front of the barstool I take at the counter. “Your usual?”
“You know me so well. Tell me, when are you going to run away from Ed and marry me already?”
Maddie throws her head back and laughs, and her husband Ed rolls his eyes as he steps out of the kitchen.
“You’d better check yourself, kid. There’s a lot of fight left in this old man.”
Grinning, I put up my fists. “Let’s go then.”
“You boys.” Maddie, fresh color on her cheeks, turns away and heads into the kitchen while Ed leans back against the counter.
“How’s the work on that old Pontiac of yours going?
” I ask him. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been popping over to his house to help him get his dad’s old 1967 Pontiac GTO running.
Just a fun project to keep my mind off the woman I have no business thinking of.
But with work picking up, it’s been a few days since I was able to check in.
“Eh, it’s getting there. The original carburetor is not cooperating.”
“What’s going on?”
“When it actually turns over, the entire car shakes like it’s scared to go outside. I may need to get a new one.”
I can see the hit reflected on his aging face.
Ed wanted to keep as much of the original intact as possible to honor his dad’s memory.
The two of them worked on it nearly all of Ed’s life.
“Bring the carburetor by the shop later, and I’ll see what I can do.
Might just need to be taken apart and cleaned.
My treat,” I add, knowing that his budget is one of the reasons he didn’t just have me do the restore in the first place.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Ed says.
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Besides, you’ll be doing me a favor. Taking things apart is my favorite pastime.” I grin at him. “Seriously, Ed, I don’t mind.”
“Thank you so much,” he says, smile beaming. “Lunch is on us.”
“No, you don’t need to do that.”
“Nonsense. You’re helping me with this car. The least I can do is cook you a meal.”
“Which you should be doing,” Maddie says with a pointed look.
Ed flashes her a smile that has color returning to her cheeks again. “Yes, ma’am.” With a wink my way, he slips back into the kitchen.
A familiar ache blooms in my chest, so I run the heel of my palm against it. A love like Maddie’s and Ed’s is what I’ve always wanted. That kind of endless love. Where you get old and grey together, surviving through life and clinging to what you have on the hard days.
Yet, here I sit, completely and utterly alone.
All because the one woman I want is totally off-limits.