Chapter 30
Anastasia
My stomach rolls as the boat rocks.
Jack bandaged my side and tied me to a chair in the main cabin of this boat just before going back up and guiding us away from a singular dock on the outskirts of town.
We’re on a boat I don’t recognize, and while I imagine he stole it, with the nasty storm brewing, no one will know it’s missing until tomorrow morning.
For the millionth time, I scan the room for anything I can use. Unfortunately, the chair I’m in is currently bolted to the floor, so moving isn’t much of an option. The kitchen looks relatively barren, but maybe there’s a knife somewhere.
If I could get to it.
The boat shudders as thunder crashes, and pain shoots through my side as I’m rocked again.
I may die even before he has the chance to kill me.
Lord, please help me.
“‘God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble,’” I start aloud.
Thunder rattles the world again, and I wince as the boat is jostled.
“‘So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge.’” I swallow hard.
“‘A river brings joy to the city of our God, the sacred home of the Most High. God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed. From the very break of day, God will protect it.’”
I trail off as Sawyer’s face swims into view. My eyes fill, and I shove it aside because right now, I need to focus on surviving.
Not all that I’ll lose if I don’t.
“‘The nations are in chaos, and their kingdoms crumble! God’s voice thunders, and the earth melts! The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.’”
I speak the Word with strength I don’t have.
Proclaiming it even as my entire world is crumbling.
Is my mom okay?
The way she’d looked—that paleness on her face. What if no one found her in time? What if—not now, Anastasia. Focus.
I continue the psalm that helped me survive losing my dad.
Psalm 46 brought me comfort in those days of grief after I lost Violet, too.
“‘Come see the glorious words of the Lord; see how He brings destruction upon the world. He causes wars to end throughout the earth. He breaks the bow and snaps the spear: He burns the shields with fire.’” My voice cracks, and a tear slips down my cheek.
“‘Be still, and know that I am God,’” I whisper.
“‘I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.’” I finish the psalm, then turn my face up toward the ceiling.
“The Lord of Heaven’s Armies are here with me.
I know You are here, Lord. I know You won’t leave me.
” More tears, but there’s something else, too.
Peace settles over me. An understanding that I am not truly alone. The enemy wants me to think I am. Jack wants me to feel forgotten. But the truth is, no matter what he does to my body, he cannot touch my soul.
It belongs to the Most High.
And if I die today, I’ll see my dad.
Violet.
One day, I’ll see my mom again.
My brother.
I’ll see Sawyer.
Tears fill my eyes, and I take a deep, steadying breath. “God, please help them. Please keep them safe. And Lord, please help me. If it is Your will that I survive—” I choke on the words. “Please grant me rescue.”
The door opens, and Jack strolls in, soaking wet from the storm. Hair I’ve brushed my fingers through now matted to his head. His eyes—eyes that I’ve stared into lovingly—are wide and excited now.
He looks wild.
Unrecognizable even.
Nothing like the man who proposed to me in my mother’s kitchen or sat heartbroken on my steps.
“Whew, what a storm! It’s exhilarating, isn’t it?”
“Why are you doing this?”
With one hand on the wall to steady himself, he walks over toward the chair across from me and sinks down. “Do you remember when we first met? I told you that I’d been to Stormwatch Landing before with my parents.”
“Yes.”
“That was the truth. I had been there before. Eighteen years ago.”
Bile burns the inside of my throat at the implication. How could I not have put the pieces together? I should have once I discovered he was not the man I thought he was.
But I don’t think I wanted to admit it.
How can I admit—even to myself—that a man I was in a close personal relationship with for eight months could be capable of such horrific things?
“The first time I saw you was on the beach. You were with Violet, the two of you looking so absolutely gorgeous in your swimsuits.” He shivers.
“But you—there was something about you that captivated me. I wanted so badly to know you. To reach out and touch your soft skin.” He reaches forward, and I turn away, but he runs his finger over my cheek anyway.
“That night, I got invited to a party by some other girls I ran into, so I went. You weren’t there, but Violet was. ” He grins at me.
Gone is the charm.
The mask he wore.
Now I see nothing but the obsession that clearly turned to madness.
“It was perfect. We danced, and I convinced her to have a few drinks. The more intoxicated she got, the more she opened up about you. Her perfect friend, who was headed to an Ivy League school. Who was going to change the world. And I just knew that I needed you. So, I asked her to call you. She laughed it off and said it wasn’t your scene. That you couldn’t come out.”
I can see her doing just that.
Did she think he was handsome?
Was she looking for that spark we’d talked about with a boy who would ultimately kill her?
A tear tracks down my cheek.
“I got tired of waiting. So, I slipped her a little something. Meant to just take the edge off. She did call you, but instead of letting me wait with her outside, she lied and snuck out a bathroom window. By the time I realized what had happened, you were already pulling away from the curb. I knew I couldn’t let you get away.
My plan was to grab you first, then deal with her.
But the road had too much traffic, so I grabbed her first. She was the one who saw me, after all. ”
“You killed her,” I whisper. “This whole time, it was you.”
“When I came back for you, you were already gone. I managed to catch up to you right as you found her.” He smiles as if it’s a happy memory.
“So beautiful even in your grief. I snapped a picture and moved in to grab you, but that brute brother of hers had arrived. Apparently, you’d called him before getting out of the car.
After that, they surrounded you with so much protection I thought I’d lost my chance. ”
Anger burns away at my fear. Fury that drowns out all other emotions.
He murdered her because of me.
She died out of convenience. Why does that make it so much worse?
“Anyway. Boring details follow. I decided I would be good at hunting down killers, so that’s what I did.
What a perfect place to hide, after all.
No one would suspect me. And then I got called back to Stormwatch Landing.
” He throws his head back and laughs. “It was too perfect, really. Especially when I saw you standing there. Even more beautiful. And I just knew this was my second chance to get to know you. To have what I still craved even after all those years. Nothing satisfied. No other woman did for me what you did, and we’d never even met. ”
Bitter bile burns my throat. “You knew who I was even when we met?” I kissed this man. We went on dates. Laughed together. Held hands.
And the entire time, he was the one who killed Violet. Hands I held were tainted with her blood.
He was the subject of every nightmare I ever had, and I didn’t even know it.
“Of course I did. But even then, you were surrounded by protection. Men who would see right through me if I didn’t play my cards right.
Especially Sawyer. He watched you like a hawk.
But he was a fool, too. Blinded by his own jealousy.
Still, I was patient. I played the good guy.
I helped. And eventually, I got that taste I wanted.
Part of it, anyway.” He reaches forward and runs his thumb over my lip.
That bile rises again.
“But then you went and ruined it.” He grips my face with such force I cry out.
“You threw me aside for that SEAL. You know, I do love you. I would have given you a good life. You could have been my wife. We could have had children. You didn’t have to die like she did. But you need to be punished now.”
“You disgust me,” I spit out. “The very idea that I ever cared for you makes me want to vomit!”
His hand cracks across my cheek. “You will pay for every dismissal. And then, I’m going back for your SEAL. By now, they’ll know it was me. So they can’t live. None of them can.”
“They will kill you before you can even set foot back on dry land.”
He stands. “I’m a patient man, Anastasia. I waited eighteen years for you. I can wait just long enough that they’ll no longer see me coming. But first, you and I have some business to tend to.” He withdraws a knife, and I fight the bindings holding me.
He brings it down and slices the bindings at my ankles, then the ones at my wrists. I waste no time. Ignoring the pain in my side, I slam my face into his. Stars explode behind my eyes, white-hot pain spreading through me.
But he stumbles backward. I jump up and reach for the door. I yank it open and rush out onto the deck.
Salty sea air sprays me, and I slip on the wet deck, going down with a hard thud.
“Anastasia!” Jack bellows. He steps out onto the deck with me, the knife in his hand. “You keep making all the wrong choices. You have nowhere to run!”
“I think I made the right ones!” Rain cascades down on us as the thrashing waves pound into the boat. “Especially if they kept me from marrying a monster!”
I’m knocked to the side when a wave hammers the boat, and it’s a fight to get back on my feet.
Lord, please. Please, God.
The waters are black. The sky overhead is black.