Chapter 13
As Mom had predicted, the days between Sean’s shopping trip and Jace’s birthday vanished in a flurry of activity.
He’d nailed his final interview, and the job was officially his, along with an apartment that he and Jace would soon call home.
The furniture being shipped from Ohio was due to arrive on Monday, and if he said he wasn’t excited about the possibilities on his horizon, he’d be lying.
When Sean’s eyes popped open on Saturday morning, it was the first day in nearly two weeks that his first thoughts were not of Monica. Though that situation was still unresolved, today his thoughts were of his son.
How could Jace be a year old already? The months had flown as he’d watched his son grow from a helpless newborn to a sometimes too independent toddler. Just yesterday, Sean had caught him trying to push a chair to the cabinet where the cookie jar resided.
The pediatrician in Ohio had talked about the milestones that would mark Jace’s development. And even though Sean had lived through every one, he was having a hard time believing they’d actually made it.
He closed his eyes as a second question forced itself into his consciousness.
How had he lived without Brittany for a whole year?
He rubbed at his heart, surprised that the question didn’t sting as much as it had in the past. He’d been doing a lot of thinking since last week’s conversation with his father.
The gulf of misunderstanding still lay between him and Monica like the depths of the Grand Canyon, but maybe there was hope.
Maybe he was growing as much as his son was.
Sean sat up on the side of the bed and took Brittany’s picture off the bedside table.
He stared at it in silence for a few seconds, noting the curve of her delicate cheekbones and the way her light brown hair curled around her shoulders.
His gaze fell to her lips. He’d loved that mouth, sweet and sassy, sarcastic and loving, all at the same time.
She’d known how to get her way where Sean was concerned.
She’d also known how to tell a person to go to a very hot place in the center of the earth with words so sweet that you almost wanted to go.
“I miss you, sweetheart. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, that I don’t long for you.
It’s Jace’s first birthday. You’d be so proud of our little guy.
I see so much of you in him. He has your eyes, and he has your smile.
He’s walking and talking more. I’m still waiting to see if he has your way with words.
” Tears stung the back of his eyes. He gathered his emotions and continued.
“There’s going to be a huge party here today, and when I help Jace blow out the candle on his cake, I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you were here. ”
He heard a noise across the hall and set the picture down.
“That’s our little man now. I need to hurry or Mom will get to him before I do.
I want to be the first one to tell him happy birthday today.
I’ll tell him that Mommy says so too.” Sean kissed a finger and pressed it to the picture behind the glass. “I love you.”
“Da-da!”
The word was loud and full of urgency, and Sean wasted no time in making his way across the hall.
Jace stood in the crib, bouncing on the mattress like it was a trampoline. His brown hair stood up in spikes. The snaps on his pajamas were open to his waist, and he had one arm out.
Sean stood in the door for a moment, staring at the scene. There wasn’t a day that went by that this boy didn’t bring a smile to his face. “There’s my birthday boy. You look like you’re excited to get this day started. You’re already half undressed.”
Jace stopped bouncing and held out his arms. “Up. Up.”
The string of sounds that followed would’ve been impossible for anyone else to understand, but Sean had a pretty good idea what his son was asking for.
Jace woke up hangry nearly every morning.
It was like sleeping depleted all of his excess calories.
Sean’s grumbling stomach reminded him that he and his son had a lot in common. Well, except for the angry part.
Hoping to keep him distracted, he bent at the waist, forming his hands into loose claws. “I’m coming to get you,” he growled. Sean leapt forward, swooped the child out of the crib, and held him high over his head.
Jace’s belly laugh released a stream of baby drool that Sean just barely managed to dodge. “You almost got me, but you’re gonna have to be quicker than that.”
He lowered him and rumbled like a jet engine, swinging the baby around. He landed him gently on the top of the changing table. “Happy first birthday, little man.”
Since Jace’s pajamas were already half open, he bent down and rubbed his beard on his bare belly. Jace seemed to be pulling his laughter up from his toenails, loud and full-throated, while his feet thumped against the thin mattress.
“What in the world is going on in here?”
With one hand on Jace’s chest, Sean turned to his mother in the doorway. He gave her an innocent smile. “What do you mean? Nothing’s going on in here.”
“Uh huh. Well, your nothing is rattling the whole house, so tone it down a little.” Her smile told Sean she was teasing. She stooped over the changing table and dropped a kiss on her grandson’s forehead. “Happy birthday, baby.” She fingered the open snaps. “Dressing or undressing?”
“Neither. I found him like this. He’s learning how snaps work.”
“You know what this means, right?”
Sean frowned. “I guess not. Why should it mean anything?”
“Just giving you a heads up, son, preparing you for the morning when you come in here and find him as naked as the day he was born. If you’re lucky, he won’t have a dirty diaper when he figures it out.”
Sean watched Mom leave the room, disconcerted by her ominous smile. He looked at his son. “You wouldn’t...”
Jace’s response was gibberish, but Sean’s imagination layered it with maniacal undertones. “Great,” he whispered. “Something to look forward to.”
***
MONICA LAID HER CHECKLIST on the counter in the church’s kitchen when she heard the outside door open. She stepped into the nearly dark fellowship hall, waiting a second or two for her eyes to adjust. When they did, she smothered a gasp.
Sean stood in the doorway with Jace balanced on his hip. Sean looked nearly as shocked as Monica felt.
“Um...” she said.
“Hey...”
They looked at each other. Apparently, neither one of them had anything else to say.
For Monica, the sight of the baby she hadn’t seen in nearly two weeks was almost more than she could bear. It took every ounce of her strength not to rush forward and pluck him out of his father’s arms.
Jace held out his hands and yelled, “Ma.”
Monica took one step forward, then stopped and clasped her hands behind her back. “Sorry,” she whispered and pointed over her shoulder. “I’m just going over the checklist for tomorrow’s luncheon. I’ll get back to it.”
But Sean closed the distance and thrust Jace into her arms. “He missed you.”
Monica held Jace tight, nuzzling her face into his neck.
He felt so good, so right in her arms, she nearly cried.
She reveled in the smell and the feel of the little boy who’d stolen her heart.
When she looked up, she found Sean studying her with an odd expression.
She started to hand the baby back, but Jace tightened his grip around her neck.
“Ma,” he whispered into her ear as he lay his head on her shoulder.
Monica closed her eyes, knowing he was saying Monica not Mama. Even so, she almost wished that she didn’t know the difference. She could live like this. As the silence grew awkward Monica met Sean’s eyes. “What are you guys up to?” It was lame, but it was all she could manage in the moment.
He waved toward the kitchen. “Mom’s baking cupcakes for the party this afternoon. She needed a platter she’d forgotten to bring home. She sent us to get it.”
“Don’t tell me, let me guess. A pretty piece of rectangular crystal with a scalloped edge?”
When Sean simply raised his eyebrows, she smiled. “I saw it in the pantry, and I wondered who it belonged to. Must be a fancy party.”
“Fancy enough for a one-year-old, I suppose.” He nodded at the little boy still nestled in Monica’s arms. “Today’s his birthday.”
Monica looked down. “Happy birthday, baby.”
Jace didn’t react. In fact, he was fast asleep against her shoulder.
Monica motioned Sean closer. “Out like a light.”
“Rats.”
“Problem?”
Sean’s sigh echoed in the cavernous room.
“I had one job today. Well, two if you count picking up the platter. I was supposed to keep Jace out of the house and out from under Mom’s feet for a couple of hours.
Since he needed an afternoon nap, I was going to go by the apartment I rented and let him nap in the playpen while I piddled with measurements and stuff.
This kid is the catnap king. If I try to buckle him into the car seat, I’ll only wake him up.
He won’t go back to sleep, and he’ll be Mr. Crabby when it’s party time. ”
Monica took a few seconds to assess the situation. “You have the playpen with you?”
“In the trunk.”
“Go get it,” she whispered, nodding to the back of the room. “Set it up in that dark corner and we’ll lay him down. You can either stay here with me or go about your business. Either way, he gets his nap and you don’t have to go home to Alex in shame”.
***
SEAN STOOD NEXT TO Monica and held his breath as Jace rooted around on the thin mattress of the playpen before settling back into his nap. His eyes remained closed and his breathing evened out. Mom might not kill him after all. “Thanks,” he whispered.
“Not a problem. I’ll be in the kitchen, so I’ll hear him when he wakes up if you want to go.”
“I didn’t have anything important to do. I was just trying to kill some time.” Sean looked at Monica and felt two weeks’ worth of tension evaporate. How could he have ever thought that cutting this beautiful woman out of his life was the right thing? “The feeling was mutual, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Missing you,” Sean clarified. “Jace wasn’t the only one who’s suffered the last couple of weeks.”
Monica looked away, but not quick enough that Sean missed the moisture that filled her eyes.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her gently back into the kitchen, where they wouldn’t have to whisper.
“Look, I’m an idiot. I overreacted, and I’m sorry.
I’ve wanted to tell you that for days, but I wasn’t sure that you wanted to hear it.
” He left the subject of the restaurant kiss alone.
Every time he thought of it, shame and longing formed a toxic stew in his gut, leaving him with more indecision than direction.
Restoring their friendship would have to be enough for today.
Monica dabbed at her eyes. “I have just as much to apologize for. Calling you a jerk was out of line, but after—”
“How’s the fundraising going?” Sean settled onto one of the barstools at the counter. If she was headed to their time at the restaurant, he needed to derail her before she got there.
Monica blinked but she recovered quickly enough.
“Really great. I’ve got one more fundraiser next Saturday that should put me over the top.
I can honestly say with a great deal of relief that Matthew Wright is a sure thing for our January event.
” She stopped and tilted her head. “Why do you do that?”
He had a feeling he knew what she meant. He’d tried not to wince at the name, but apparently, he’d failed. Even so, he asked, “Do what?”
“Every time I mention Matthew’s name, you get this weird look on your face, like you just walked into a room and smelled roasted roadkill.”
Sean lowered his gaze to the counter. He’d wanted to redirect her conversation but he wasn’t sure that this was any better.
Matthew Wright was just the first step in a long series of mishaps that had led him home to Garfield to raise his son alone.
He didn’t know if sharing the story would heal him or hurt him, but he knew that, after the last two weeks of missing Monica’s company, if he brushed her questions aside now, he might not get another chance to talk to her.
He looked around the room and saw a Keurig next to the stove with a carousel of pods beside it. “I could use a cup of coffee, how about you?”
“Sure, tell me what kind you like.”
Sean got to his feet. The story rumbled in his mind and he wasn’t sure that a cup of coffee would help the indigestion roiling in his stomach but he needed something for his hands to do while he sorted it out. “I’ll get it.”
Monica sat on a second bar stool and leaned her back and elbows against the counter. “I’ll take the triple chocolate. The cups are in the cupboard right above you.”
Sean flashed her a grin. “Grace Community was my second home when I was growing up. I could find my way around this kitchen blindfolded.” He brewed two cups of coffee, which didn’t take nearly long enough. Sean’s steps were slow as he returned to the bar with a cup in each hand.
He set a cup in front of Monica. “M’lady.” He sat again and looked through the window that separated the kitchen from the fellowship hall.
“He’s fine,” Monica said.
Sean took a cautious sip of his coffee. He wasn’t surprised that Monica had mistaken his gaze into the fellowship hall as checking on his son when, in reality, he was about to begin a story with an ending that beat out any horror movie he’d ever seen. “It all started when I was fourteen.”