Chapter 11 Esme
ESME
The second morning after they’d let Madison come home, we headed in to the hospital for her follow-up appointment at the orthopedic clinic.
They wanted to take X-rays to check her pins and make sure everything was healing properly.
We arrived a few minutes early to get the X-rays and then sat in the lobby waiting to see the doctor.
Madison had woken feeling good, with considerably less pain than the night before.
I’d only given her a mild pain reliever instead of the one they sent us home with.
Next to me, Madison turned pages of an early reader book she’d found on the shelf, the index finger of her good hand tracing the words.
I scrolled through my phone without really seeing it.
I’d hoped for a text from Grady but so far I hadn’t heard from him.
I tried to imagine what it was like for him, confronting the past he’d run from, but came up flat.
It was all too much to fathom. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around this new Grady.
Had I ever known the real man or was it all a facade?
Picturing Grady in a suit, welcoming clients into some fancy office was nearly impossible.
Instead, I saw him how I knew him, dressed in a hoodie and board shorts, salt water drying in his hair.
I glanced at the clock. He’d already been to the attorney meeting if I remembered correctly. What had he learned? Had his father left him anything? If so, would Grady accept it?
“Mom, I’m hungry,” Madison said.
I reached into my bag and pulled out a Ziploc bag with nuts and dried fruit. “Here, eat these. I’ll make you some real lunch when we get home later.”
“Thanks, Mommy.” Madison took the bag from me and reached in for a handful.
“Nuts too, not just the fruit,” I said.
“Okay.”
The door opened, and I hoped it was our turn, but the nurse called another name. We kept waiting.
I texted my friends’ group chat.
Esme
At the hospital with Madison. Follow-up for her arm. Prayers appreciated!
Gillian
Will be praying. Is she still in pain?
Esme
No, she’s back to her usual cheery self. I gave her acetaminophen before we came and that seems to be doing its job.
Delphine
She’s such a sweet little bug. Give her kisses from me.
Lila
I’m so glad she’s feeling better. How’s mama doing?
Esme
Tired.
Seraphina
Any word from Grady?
Esme
Not yet.
Gillian
Let us know how we can help with anything.
Esme
I will. Love you all so much.
The door opened again.
“Madison Taylor?”
“That’s us.” I stood, taking Madison’s hand in mine as we followed the nurse back to the exam room.
Madison climbed onto the table, careful with her cast. The nurse took her vitals, asked the standard questions about pain levels and mobility. “Dr. Mason will be in shortly. He’ll review the X-rays with you.”
“Thank you.”
The door closed. Madison kicked her feet, staring at the anatomical posters on the wall.
“Mommy?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“When’s Grady coming back?”
“Tomorrow, I think. Or the next day.”
“Good. I miss him.”
“Me too.”
“Do you think wishes come true even when it’s not your birthday?” Madison asked.
“I’m not sure. Depends on the wish maybe. What’re you wishing for?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Can you try?” I asked.
She looked down at her pink leggings. “I’m afraid to say it because it might make you mad.”
“Go ahead,” I said. “I won’t be mad unless it’s a wish to harm someone else.”
“Mommy, why would I ever wish that?” Her big blue eyes grew even rounder. “That’s awful.”
“Good. I’m glad we agree. Now, out with it. What’s on your mind?”
“I want Grady to be with us all the time. Like Alex. And Vance.”
She wanted me to marry Grady like Gillian had married Alex and Lila had married Vance. That wasn’t such a complicated wish after all.
Before I could respond, the door opened and Dr. Mason came in, silver hair, white coat and tablet in hand. “Hi, Madison. How’s that arm feeling?”
“Good. It itches, though.”
“That’s normal—and actually good news. Means it’s healing.” He pulled up the X-rays on the screen. “Let’s take a look at these.”
He walked me through them—bones aligned properly, pins in place, everything healing as it should. Six weeks in the cast, then another check-up.
“She’s doing great,” he said. “Any questions?”
“No, I think we’re good,” I said.
“Perfect. See you in six weeks.”
We checked out at the front desk and scheduled the next appointment. Then Madison and I headed toward the exit. As we came to the cafeteria, Madison lifted her chin, sniffing. “What’s that yummy smell? Is it pizza?”
It was nearing noon and it might take a bit to get home. “How about we just eat some lunch here? You can have a slice of pizza.” I’d get one piece and eat her crusts. She never ate the crusts.
“Yay.” She let go of me, skipping toward the pizza counter.
The cafeteria was bustling with doctors in scrubs, visitors, and patients in wheelchairs. I followed Madison and asked for a slice of cheese pizza, hoping the attendant would give us the biggest piece.
“Esme?”
I turned.
Mark approached, in his white doctor coat, holding a tray with a salad. “Esme, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, Mark,” I said. “We had an appointment. Do you work here at the hospital?”
Madison stared up at him, clearly curious.
“Sometimes.” He glanced down at Madison. “And is this the famous Madison? With a broken arm?”
“Yes, it’s me. I fell off the monkey bars. How do you know my name?”
“I’m a … an acquaintance of your mom’s,” Mark said.
Acquaintance? Okay, that was fair. We’d been on one date.
“She broke her arm in two places,” I said. “And had to have surgery.”
“Yeah, I had to go under the knife,” Madison said, making a slicing motion at her neck. “It was very serious.”
“You must have been a very brave girl,” Mark said.
“I was. Even though I don’t remember it. Grady told me I was brave, though.”
“We’re just here for the follow up,” I said, hoping he didn’t ask who Grady was. “Everything’s healing fine, but it was a bit of a scare.”
“I’m sure it was.” Mark seemed about to say something further, but Madison interrupted.
“Do you want to sign my cast? I have eleven so far.”
“Sure. If it’s okay with your mom.”
I nodded. “Go ahead.”
Mark pulled a pen from his coat pocket and signed carefully above Madison’s wrist. Get well soon! Dr. Mark.
“Thank you. I never had a doctor sign it before.” Madison beamed. “Robbie will be impressed. He loves doctors.”
“He does?” Mark asked, glancing over at me.
“Anything with science,” I said.
“I was just about to sit and eat lunch,” Mark said. “You guys want to join me?”
Madison was already pulling on my hand. “Can we, Mom?”
“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”
“I see you’re having a slice of pizza, Miss Madison, but what’s your mother going to eat?”
“Oh, I’m not really hungry,” I said, just as my stomach growled to give me away.
“Let me treat you both to lunch,” Mark said. “The sandwiches are really good here.”
I relented. “Thank you. That would be lovely.”
I grabbed a sandwich from the deli case while Mark took Madison over to a refrigerator stocked with juices.
“Can I have juice, Mommy?” Madison yelled out from across the room. Several people turned to look at her.
I nodded, putting my finger to my lips to remind her not to shout.
Mark paid for our lunch, and then we found a table by the windows overlooking the courtyard and dug into our food.
I realized how hungry I had been when my sandwich quickly disappeared.
Mark, on the other hand, ate his salad slowly and methodically, every bite exactly the same size as the last. He even cut his cherry tomatoes in half. It reminded me of Robbie.
“When did Madison have her accident?” Mark asked.
“Yesterday,” I said. “I got a call from school. They’d already sent her to the hospital in the ambulance, so I met her here.”
“Mommy was scared,” Madison said. “But she pretended like she wasn’t.”
“I bet she’s good at that,” Mark said, glancing at me.
“Grady says she’s good at everything,” Madison said.
“Who’s Grady?” Mark asked, a little too casually.
“Mommy’s friend. He’s my friend too. And Robbie’s.”
“Yes, he’s a close friend of mine,” I said.
Mark nodded, his expression shifting slightly. “I see.”
Did he? From the look in his eyes, I guessed he probably did. Mark was such a good guy. Smart and attractive, with a great job. Why couldn’t I fall for him instead of my confused best friend Grady?
Madison finished her pizza and asked if she could go look at the fish tank across the cafeteria. I told her yes but to stay where I could see her. She skipped off, cast swinging.
Mark watched her go, then turned back to me. “She’s adorable.”
“Thanks. I think so too.”
He set down his fork and looked at me. “So the way I see it, there are two reasons you didn’t reply to my text.”
I held my breath.
“The first is that Madison broke her arm and you’ve been overwhelmed with it all. The second is this friend of yours. Grady, right?”
“Grady, yes. What about him?” Play dumb, I told myself.
“Ah, okay. So it is Grady.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Sure.” He smiled kindly.
“We are. But, yes, we’re close.”
“He spends a lot of time with you and the kids?”
“He does, yes.” I poked at a stray piece of lettuce with a fork, moving it around the plate in circles.
“What are you doing on a dating app when you’re clearly in love with someone else?” Mark asked, without malice or hostility. Instead, he sounded merely curious.
“Robbie put me on there,” I blurted out.
Across the cafeteria, Madison was pressing her face against the fish tank, watching the goldfish swim in slow circles.
“What?” Mark asked.
“The kids had this wacky idea.” I quickly told him about how our teenagers had taken it upon themselves to add our profiles to the dating app, Second Chance.
“And we matched,” Mark said. “But your heart is elsewhere.”
I didn’t say anything, pretending to suddenly be very thirsty for my water.
“It’s okay,” Mark said. “I understand, actually.”
“You do?” I looked at him.