Chapter 18 Grady
GRADY
At first I’d thought I imagined Esme calling my name but, when I turned around, there she was, wearing a sunflower costume. In her hand, she held a single sunflower. My breath caught in my throat. Did it mean what I thought it meant?
“Hey, Sunflower,” I said.
“Hey, yourself.”
“Nice petals.”
“I made them.”
“I’d expect nothing less.” I smiled, reaching out to touch one, but decided against it. “Any reason you chose to be a sunflower?”
“I thought I might like to try to see myself as you see me,” Esme said. “For tonight anyway.”
“And what did you see when you looked in the mirror?”
“That I look kind of ridiculous.”
I laughed. “You look beautiful. But you don’t need a costume for that.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I was wrong to act like I did.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Do you?”
“I know a little about shame, yes. And I should have been more careful how I told you. It was clumsy. I’m sorry.”
She held out the sunflower in her hand. “This is for you.”
I took it from her, staring down at it for a moment, noting the sturdy stalk and perfect symmetry of the petals. “Thanks, only I don’t have anything for you. Other than this suit.”
“You look handsome in it. But I don’t understand.”
“It’s a symbol,” I said, smiling. “To show you I’m ready to be the man you need.
I ran away from my life, thinking that was what was best for me.
And maybe it was, at the time. I needed to distance myself from my father’s world or lose myself in it forever.
But things are different now. It’s not just the money.
I realized I’ve been punishing myself for the sins of my father, which in hindsight doesn’t make a lot of sense.
You said you’re not my family, but I want you to be.
I want to take care of all of you. Spoil you.
Give you all the lifestyle you deserve. From here on out.
” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you.
I’m in love with you and have been for a long time. ”
“I was wrong to say that. You are our family. We’re lost without you. I love you too.”
I crossed the distance between us in two steps and kissed her.
The sunflower got crushed between us. Her free hand came up to my face, her fingers cold against my jaw.
And she kissed me back, tasting like a mixture of salt and sugar and smelling like the ocean breeze on a summer day.
I pulled her closer, one hand in her hair, the other on the small of her back, and the silly beautiful petals of her costume pressed against my suit.
This is the moment I’ve dreamed of. This is my life.
I pulled back to get a good look at her luminous face in the moonlight. “Do you have any idea how you wreck me—make me forget everything else but you? You’ve had my heart since that first surf lesson.”
“I was in denial about my feelings for you for a long time. But it turns out I can’t live without you. Why did it take you so long to tell me?”
“I haven’t felt worthy. I thought you could do better. Someone who could give you the kind of life your friends have.”
“If you didn’t inherit the money, would you have ever told me?” Esme asked.
“I think so. That night you went out with the doctor, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I sat there with Robbie watching that documentary without hearing a word of it because all I could think about was you. With someone other than me. I’ve never felt as jealous or violent as I did that night.
I’d made up my mind to tell you the truth.
Then you came home, and the news broke about my dad, and my whole world got turned around again. ”
“If you’d told me the truth, I would have said yes. With or without your inheritance. You’re who I want. You’re my one and only. My perfect match.”
“You’ll stay then? With me? Forever?” I kissed her again before she could answer.
“Yes, I’ll stay with you. Forever.”
“Will you marry me?” I blurted out. “Like tomorrow?”
She laughed, making her petals wobble. “That might be a little quick, but, in theory, yes.”
“I’d like to take you home and get you out of this costume.” Just then, I realized our friends and all of the kids were standing at the window watching us. “But apparently that’s going to have to wait. We have an audience.”
She slowly turned, gasping. “Oh no.”
“Cat’s out of the bag now.”
Madison burst through the French doors that led to the patio. “Mommy. Grady. You were kissing!” She ran to us, leaping into my arms. “Does this mean you’ll be my daddy and stay with us?”
“I think it does,” I said. “And are you dressed up as Trevor?”
“Yes. Lila and Gillian laughed and laughed when they saw me.” Madison grinned. “Which is exactly what I wanted.”
Robbie, along with his co-conspirators in Dating-App-Gate, followed behind Madison. Grace, bouncing on her toes, yelled out, “I knew it.”
Mia and Annie came forward, hugging Esme.
“We couldn’t have found anyone better for you, on or off the app,” Mia said to Esme. “My parents are going to be so happy for you.”
“Now we only have two moms to go,” Annie said. “Mine and Tyler’s. They’re proving to be the most difficult.”
“Welcome to the family,” Grace said to me. “We’re glad it’s you.”
Tyler, hanging back, simply gave me a nod.
But it was Robbie who surprised me the most. He walked toward me with his usual measured stride, hands at his sides.
I took in the black T-shirt with the element square on the front, the tie covered in the entire periodic table, the khakis and good sneakers.
It took me a second. Silicon. Atomic number 14.
The foundation of modern computing. I chuckled.
Of course. Only Robbie would come to a Halloween party as a semiconductor material.
“Good costume,” I said.
“You might remember the documentary we watched together,” Robbie asked.
“Sure I do.” We’d watched it last summer when Esme went out with her girlfriends. It had been a long night. But I’d do it again for Robbie. I’d watch every boring documentary ever made if I could be his dad.
Robbie stepped closer, and I expected a handshake, or one of his analytical observations, or maybe a brag about how he had predicted this with his compatibility model.
Instead, he put his arms around me and hugged me. And he held on.
“Thank you,” he said, his face pressed against my chest. “For choosing us. I can’t imagine we’re anything but a proverbial handful.”
I put my arms around him and closed my eyes. Over his head, I saw Esme. She had her hand over her mouth, her eyes glassy.
I pulled away slightly, placing my hands around his thin shoulders. “Robbie, choosing you and Madison and your mom is the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“How do you know?” He looked up at me with earnest eyes. “It’s not the future yet.”
“Sometimes a man just knows. No spreadsheet or pie chart needed.”
Robbie leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “I wish you could adopt us.”
“A piece of paper’s not going to make any difference about how I feel about you and your sister. We don’t need a judge to make us a family.”
Robbie’s eyes lit up. “I could put together a document for the four of us. We can sign it, promising to always be a family, no matter what.”
“I love that idea,” I said.
Robbie turned to his mother. “This was the most logical outcome, but I wasn’t sure either of you would figure it out before it was too late.”
Esme placed a hand on his cheek. “Thanks for hanging in there with me. And guess what? Grady’s going to send you to the STEM program this summer.”
He whipped around to look at me. “Grady, you don’t have to. It’s very generous, but not needed. All I’ve wanted was for my mom to be happy.”
“You’re going to USC this summer,” I said firmly. “No discussion required. Eight kids selected out of 400, and you were one of them. Think about how phenomenal that is. I’m proud of you.”
Robbie dropped his chin, staring at the floor of the patio for a moment before looking up at me. He blinked rapidly, his voice steady but barely. “Some people look at you and see what’s missing. Others look at you and see what’s there. Maybe that’s how you know who to love with your whole heart.”
“I see you, bud. And it’s pretty magnificent,” I said.
“I see you too, Grady. And ditto,” Robbie said.
The rest of the gang were making their way out to us. Soon, our friends had surrounded us, giving hugs and congratulations.
“About time,” Seraphina said.
“No kidding,” Delphine said.
Alex popped open a bottle of champagne and poured glasses for the adults. Gillian poured cider for herself and the kids.
Vance raised his glass first. “To Grady and Esme. Who took the scenic route, but got there in the end.”
“The very scenic route,” Hunter said.
“The longest scenic route in the history of scenic routes,” Seraphina added.
Everyone laughed. Esme leaned into me, the crushed sunflower still in my hand, her petals brushing against the shoulders of my suit. I put my arm around her and pulled her close.
The party went on around us after that. The kids disappeared back into the haunted hallway, with Madison leading the charge in her Trevor costume, barking orders that she’d apparently decided were part of the character.
Robbie went inside with the rest of the kids, his periodic table tie slightly askew from the hug, though he didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he didn’t mind.
The adults drifted back inside, refilling drinks, finding the dance floor, settling into the easy warmth of people who’d chosen each other as family.
At one point I looked through the French doors and saw Hunter leaning against the bar, watching Seraphina dance.
He had an expression on his face that made me think it was impossible for him to look anywhere but at her.
I knew the feeling well. I made a mental note to ask him why he didn’t just ask her out already. As if I could give advice in that area.
Gillian caught my eye through the window and pressed her hand to her heart. I nodded. She nodded back. That was enough.
Esme and I stayed on the deck. The music was muffled through the glass, the ocean steady beyond the railing, the moon painting silver across the water. She leaned against me, her head on my shoulder, the sunflower petals slightly bent and worse for wear.
“Grady?”
“Yeah?”
“Take me home.”
I kissed her forehead. “What about the kids?”
“Gillian already offered to keep them tonight. She whispered it to me when you weren’t looking.”
“How kind of her.”
“The kindest, smartest women I know are all in that house. I’m lucky to have them.”
“You are. Thank you for bringing them into my life,” I said.
I looked out at the ocean one last time. Then back at Esme, her sunflower hat framing her pretty face. I’d not thought this moment would be possible but, now that it was here, I knew it was exactly how our story should end. Or begin, depending on how one looked at it.
“Let’s go home,” I said.
She took my hand. We walked back through the party, saying our goodnights, collecting hugs and knowing smiles. Madison waved from inside her Trevor costume, deep in a game of Twister with Grace. Robbie, standing by the snack table, watched us leave.
“Goodnight, Mother. Goodnight, Grady.” He paused. “The statistical probability of long-term relationship success increases significantly when both parties have been friends first.”
“Goodnight, Robbie,” Esme said.
“Sleep well, kid,” I said.
“I always do.”
We stepped out into the night. The air was cold and clean, salt and woodsmoke and the last of autumn. Esme still had my hand. I still had the sunflower she’d brought to me. Crushed, bent, missing a petal, and absolutely perfect. Just like us.
We walked to the car without saying anything.
We didn’t need to right then. There had been so much said already.
All those late-night discussions. Every text and phone call.
All of it leading us to this moment. Yet, there would always be more to say to my Esme.
More conversations. More kisses and hand holding and laughter.
More plans for the future and memories to make. Together.