5. Jaxon
For the past five minutes, I’ve been watching Lucy intently as she whimpers and grimaces. I know better than to snap her out of her trance. I’ve seen what it can do, and it’s not a pleasant experience. I have to let her ride it out–even if she didn’t want to dive into Ava’s mind in the first place.
Her facial expressions twitch and change almost every second, her lips trembling with what looks like pure fear. My heart pounds in my throat as I wait. Patience is not my friend right now.
After what feels like an eternity, the white film casting over Lucy’s eyes finally dissolves to restore her natural blue. Her lips part to take a huge gulp of air, but it’s not just one breath, it’s multiple. She’s panicking. Never in my twenty-six years of life have I ever witnessed Lucy have a panic attack.
“Hey, hey,” I say softly. I press my hands to her shoulder to remind her she’s safe. “Lucy, slow down your breathing.”
But she doesn’t listen. I don’t even recognise her right now.
Bash, Lucy needs you. I mindlink her mate because she needs their bond to soothe her. Infirmary, now.
“Lucy, you need to take slower breaths.” I move in front of her as those terrified eyes glaze over mine. “You’re hyperventilating. Try to focus on my breathing.”
Nothing I say helps. My hand slips down her shoulder, and I give her arm a soft squeeze to let her know I’m here. “It’s gonna be okay, Luce. I’ve got you, and Sebastian is coming. He’s going to be here any second.”
Tears stream down her face without her even blinking, staining her rosy cheeks. The door pushes open behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to find Sebastian. “What’s going on?” he demands.
He wraps an arm around her protectively and caresses her hair. “It’s okay, Luce. I’m here. Nothing is going to happen to you.”
I watch them for a long moment. Lucy continues to breathe heavily, the sound erupting around the room. Then it suddenly dawns on me—whatever she’s panicking about, is what Ava has been through. I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat as my body freezes.
Lucy’s chest eventually slows, and she grips her mate for comfort and familiarity. “Are you okay?” I lean forward. Sebastian cups her head and brings it towards his chest so she can listen to the beat of his heart.
After a few moments, she nods, wiping stray tears from her cheeks with shaky hands. “What happened?” Sebastian asks, searching her face for answers. “Did you look into her past?”
“Yeah,” she rasps. “I couldn’t stop it. Her entire mind took over my body, and I tried so hard not to see the things I did. I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to panic, it just came over me all of a sudden. Ava must get panic attacks because you know how sometimes, people’s memories can affect me afterwards.”
“You’re safe, sweetheart.” Bash kisses the side of her head delicately.
Lucy sniffles. “I know,” her voice cracks. “But I don’t think she is.”
Goosebumps graze my skin as she beckons her head over to Ava as she sleeps peacefully. “What do you mean?” I dip my head.
Her droopy, red eyes find mine. “S-she had a mate before, Jaxon.” I ignore the pang of something in my chest that I have no right to claim. “And he was an Alpha.”
My brows clench together at her statement. “What happened?”
“I shouldn’t have seen the things I saw.” She blinks harshly, and more tears erupt. “They were private. I tried so hard to control it, but I couldn’t. It was impossible, and I feel so guilty.”
Sebastian whispers something in her ear as he strokes back her hair. My fists tighten at the tremor in her voice. “They abused her?” I ask, but I already know the answer. I think we all do.
Lucy’s eyes find mine again. “You’re going to have to ask her what happened, Jaxon. It’s not fair for us to invade her memories like that. I had no right to do that. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I remind her. “Don’t blame yourself.”
She swallows harshly. “But it’s a pack of men. They don’t care about women. They’re disgusting, vile pigs and deserve nothing but a slow, painful death.”
I close my eyes, trying not to imagine the horrors she’s been through, but it’s proving difficult. Sebastian’s arm continues to run up and down Lucy’s. “It was horrible. She must be scarred for life,” she whispers. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
My heart aches at the pain Ava must be in. Not just physically but mentally. Now, I want nothing more than to slowly torture each and every person who ever touched her, hurt her, or even fucking spoke to her.
“Did you hear what the Alpha’s name was?”
Lucy’s eyes water, flicking between mine slowly. “Lucien.”
My stare hardens. I don’t directly recognise the name, but I sure as hell will find him and make him pay for what he’s done.
“Let’s just say we’ve got a mission to fucking plan.”
We give Ava some privacy,despite my wolf wanting to be in the room with her at all times. It’s not going to help me earn her trust.
She wakes up in the early hours of the morning, and my wolf demands her attention. The hairs on my arm raise as I sit outside her door. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. So instead, I wait until she’s ready—but I soon realise I might be waiting a long time. Lucy joins me later and knocks on the infirmary door.
“Ava? It’s Lucy. Can I come in?”
Silence.
I sigh. “Ava. We just want to check on you. Then we will leave. Just have some water and food. What do you think?”
A few long minutes later, the door cracks open, and Ava emerges. Lucy smiles at her softly. “Hi, how are you feeling? You must be so thirsty.”
My gaze focuses on her as she stares at the bottle. Her thoughts are loud and clear in my head, it almost makes me lose my balance. She’s sceptical of what’s inside.
“It’s not drugged,” I offer, swiping the bottle out of Lucy’s hands and taking a generous swig. “See?”
Those big brown eyes study me for a moment before her shaky hand reaches out. I extend my arm to pass it quickly. “Have it,” I say with a soft smile.
Her nimble fingers latch onto the bottle before lifting it to her lips. She takes two big gulps before closing her eyes, droplets rolling down her chin.
“Do you want something to eat?” Lucy asks.
She doesn’t answer straight away; instead, she lowers the bottle and glances down at her stomach. Her hands grip the material of clothing to expose the skin and find her wound mostly healed. I clear my throat gently to get her attention. “I had doctors come in to help with your wound. How does it feel now?”
Ava purses her lips and studies her stomach, brushing her fingers across the skin in amazement. “H-how?”
“That doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “What matters is that you feel better.”
She tilts her head to meet my gaze. The fear that was once there slowly washes away, but I feel her reservation. She’s going to need a lot of time to truly heal.
“Let me go make you something to eat,” Lucy says as she throws her thumb over her shoulder. “You must be so hungry.”
Ava begins to violently shake her head, and I frown at her reaction.
“What’s wrong?”
Her fist clenches the bottle, and the plastic cracks. “D-don’t leave me with him.”
“Ava,” Lucy says, moving closer to her. “I promise you, no one here is going to hurt you. You’re safe.”
I nod at her answer. “She”s right. I don’t have to come into the room at all. I can stand out here and wait until Lucy gets back. Would that make you feel better?”
Ava stares at me cautiously, and I step back to make my point clear.
“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” Lucy promises. Ava looks to her for reassurance. “I know you find it hard to trust anyone right now, but we want to help.”
After a few moments, Ava nods, and I move further back to give her space. If she wants to slam the door in my face, fine. I won’t take it personally. But instead of doing so, she stares back at me, holding onto the door with shaky fingers.
“Once you’ve eaten, would you like to shower and get changed into some fresh clothes?” I ask as she fiddles with the hem of her dirty T-shirt.
She doesn’t say anything. She just analyses me.
“I’m sure Lucy can lend you some clean clothes. Get you into something more comfortable and warm,” I suggest.
I don’t expect her to reply, but when I hear, “Please,” I shatter.
Her voice is quiet like a mouse and drained of energy.
“How old are you, Ava?”
Her brows furrow as she thinks. The murderous thoughts in my head worsen. “I-I’m not sure,” she admits through a whisper. “Twenty… maybe.”
“You’re safe here, okay? No one is going to hurt you again.”
“D-do you know him?”
I tilt my head slowly. “Who?”
“Him.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about, Ava.”
Her glassy eyes flick between mine rapidly. “L-Lucien. His name is Lucien.”
“No,” I admit. “I don’t know a Lucien.”
Ava sways, and I lean forward to stabilise her. I shouldn’t touch her, and I hate myself for doing it, but I don’t want her hitting the floor. The electrifying bond shoots down my hand and into my body at the touch of her skin. Guilt rides me like a wave. Her lips part, and she slowly looks up at me with conflicting expressions.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper and guide her to the bed before she hurts herself.
Her eyes search my own for a sense of meaning as her skin tingles against mine. Blood rushes to my ears as zaps of energy erupt around our gentle embrace. I remove my arms from her the next second.
“You could be bad like him.” Her lips quiver. “You could be lying to me.”
I grit my jaw and nod. “I want you to understand that, yes, there are bad people in the world. But not everyone is bad, and I know that’s difficult for you to believe right now. All I want is to make sure that you’re okay.”
I don’t know what rushes past her eyes, but it looks like she’s trying to find hope in my words. “Why are you doing this?” Her voice sounds stronger than before.
Because you’re our mate, my wolf whimpers inside my head.
But I refuse to add fuel to the fire. That should be saved for another day.
“Because you deserve better, and I want you to find your family, your friends.”
She closes her eyes for a brief moment and says nothing more. I take a step back, respecting her space.
Lucy appears at the door with a tray of food. “I’m back,” she declares, and I glance over my shoulder to find her looking at me with pinched brows.
She’s okay, I say through the mindlink.
“Are you hungry, Ava?”
Ava nods timidly and eyes the food on the tray.
My wolf howls at knowing she’s being cared for, although I”m a thousand steps away from earning her trust.