14. Ava
The air tastes so fresh. That might sound like a silly thing to say, but it does. I lift my head up towards the sky and take down a large inhale of oxygen. The cold water of the lake laps around my ankles, and the gentle breeze brushes my skin. This is true freedom. It’s like experiencing nature for the first time.
Jaxon walks ahead of me in the lake. I try not to stare at his impressive back muscles, but I can’t help it—my eyes instinctively gravitate towards him. Before he can get past his knees, he turns back to me.
Those blue eyes sparkle with calmness, despite being splashed seconds ago. I don’t know what came over me; it felt like a natural reaction. It certainly released a burst of amusement through my veins. I can’t remember the last time I laughed. The sound was alien, but it felt good, it felt—liberating.
He holds out his hand gently, flashing his palm. “Come with me,” he says. “You’ll warm up once you’re in.”
I chew on my lip as I focus on the callouses across his fingers. Even though they look rough to touch, they were incredibly soft when I held his hand the other night. Now, I’m faced with the option again. I roll back my shoulders and delicately place my hand in his. He wraps his thumb across my fingers to keep them in place, and a shudder rushes through me.
If I thought I was cold before, I’m wrapped up in a blanket of warmth now.
I glance up to meet Jaxon’s eyes, who gives me an encouraging smile. He doesn’t clutch my hand in a death grip, but just enough to know he’s there. My entire body vibrates at the sensation.
My feet take one step, and before I know it, my knees are under, then my thighs, then my hips. The water doesn’t even phase me—not when he’s holding my hand like it’s the only thing in the world that matters right now.
The hem of my T-shirt dances in the lake as we venture deeper, and soon, I’m treading water. I almost release a whimper when all my limbs start floating like I’m weightless. Jaxon doesn’t let go of my hand, and from where he’s standing, he can still touch the bottom of the lake.
A ray of sunlight casts over his face, accentuating his tan skin and dark sapphire eyes. “Warmer now?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I nod in agreement as the water laps my chin. “Much.”
“How does it feel?”
“Incredible.”
Jaxon’s smile continues to grow. “I love this place. It’s so peaceful.”
“Do you come here much?”
He shakes his head. “Not as much as I should. It’s good for finding your own peace of mind.”
“Yeah,” I exhale and swim a little further. Our hands leave each other, so I use my arms to keep myself afloat. It’s been a while since I last swam, but my muscles are crying at the privilege. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
“About yourself.”
He smiles. “Yes.”
“How long have you been the Alpha of this pack?”
“Almost four years.”
My brows hit my hairline. “Four years?”
“Yeah, it’s flown by.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
My mouth falls open. “You became Alpha at twenty-two?”
“Yeah. I had to. It’s a long story. I won’t bore you with it.”
I blink and shake my head. “I want to know. This world interests me. I don’t really know much about it. I know barely anything.”
“Okay.” Jaxon nods. My feet continue to kick underneath the water, but I struggle to keep my chin above. “Take my hand.”
I watch as his hand raises to the surface. I take it, and he gently tugs me to where I can stand comfortably in the water. The last thing we need is for me to start drowning while he’s telling his story.
The corner of his lip twitches a second later. I tilt my head.
He didn’t hear that, did he? Maybe I said it out loud.
“Around six years ago, there was a disease that started infecting the werewolf species. Wolves were dropping dead left, right, and centre. People who were infected were highly dangerous, and it was a crisis amongst our districts for a while,” he explains, and I watch him intently. “My father was the Alpha of this pack, and my mother was by his side as our Luna. He was a powerful man, and you didn’t want to get on the wrong side of him. But the district loved him because he was loyal.”
I nod slowly and wait for him to continue. “The disease wasn’t going away, and people started to panic. Then rumours started to spread that my father was keeping wolves down in our warehouse basement to torture them. But he wasn’t; he was experimenting on the infected to try and find a cure. The district didn’t want to believe the truth after wolves started going missing and then ended up dead.”
“Oh my God,” I exhale shakily.
Jaxon nods. “Yeah. People even started to believe he was the one who created the disease. All he wanted to do was help. I understand that taking wolves and doing your own medical experiments isn’t seen as humane, but as a district, we were desperate. I didn’t know about the experiments, but I believed him when he told me.”
“But no one believed his true intentions?”
“No. Things got out of hand. They tried to push us out of the district. They wanted revenge. They wanted to hurt us.” Jaxon’s eyes harden. “My father tried to make a deal with the district, but they wanted him dead. They wanted his blood. We had no choice but to move the entire pack to a new district with vacant land before they slaughtered us for his revenge. It was a difficult time.”
My mouth parts. “What…you had to move?”
“Yes. But news travelled fast, and my father and mother were ordered to leave our new district to keep the peace. None of us wanted them to go, but they left to guarantee us our safety and security. My father handed down the title of Alpha to me and said to start a new life as best as we can. I haven’t seen them in years, and I have no idea if they’re alive,” he admits.
“I’m so sorry.” My lips part, and I shake my head. “What about your safety?”
“The past four years have been hard. We’ve had a few security scares, and we’ve been training non-stop. I know they can find us, but a part of me thinks they’re looking for my parents instead. They can kill us, but what’s that going to do? My father might not even be around to witness it.”
I tilt my head away from the sun. “And when your pack moved here, the district accepted you?”
He nods. “We got lucky. I have no idea how. But we’ve caused no issues in the last few years. We’ve helped out in the district where we can and have created good allies. I feared becoming an Alpha because I didn’t know if I could do a good job of leading after moving from our home. I thought no one would trust us, and I didn’t even know if I trusted myself to get us through that mess.”
“And each of these districts…” I trail off. “They’re big?”
“Huge,” he clarifies. “We’re talking over a hundred thousand people.”
My mouth falls open. “And you know everyone in the district?”
“No. There’s no way we’d be able to know everyone, but I try.”
“Oh–” I pause, wondering if I’m asking too many questions. A few more can’t hurt, hopefully. He seems to absentmindedly nod at me, so I carry on. “Did it take you a long time to settle into becoming Alpha?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation. “It was hard. It took a good couple of years before I had a grasp on things. I didn’t know how I was going to live up to my father. Everyone adored him. I was thrown into it and felt extremely out of my depth. But I had to push through. I had an entire pack behind me, and I refused to let them down. I was definitely a little too rough on them at the start, and I’m still finding my feet today. It’s a continuous journey.”
I frown softly. “Do you still struggle?”
“Yes,” he admits easily. “Every day is a new learning curve. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best. I owe my pack a lot after their patience with me. The Goddess knows that I probably don’t deserve it.”
“I’m sure you do amazing.” I smile at him. “So, what about the disease?”
The water around him ripples as he swipes a hand through his hair. “The disease came from a cursed territory. It started infecting rogues, and then it spread to districts, and it took years for it to stop. But then it became eradicated, thank the Goddess.”
“Is that what happened to Julia?”
Jaxon’s eyes flare with sadness, and I sink into the stones beneath my feet. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not my place to probe him when he hasn’t done the same to me.
“I’m sorry.” I scrunch up my face in frustration for myself. “I shouldn’t have brought her up.”
“Is what, what happened?”
I stare into his eyes, and his expression twists to a look of pain. My mouth opens, and I shut it again, rethinking my wording before I say something out of touch. “You said she was murdered; was it by them?”
His lashes brush his cheekbone as he looks down. “No,” he whispers. “It was by rogues on our land. They caught us off-guard. I lost sense of everything, and I wasn’t thinking logically. At first, I questioned if it was revenge, but there was no evidence to prove it.”
“I’m sorry,” I say gently. “I can’t imagine how much you miss her.”
He flashes me a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I do. But I have a family I need to be there for, a pack to run, and now, you’re a priority to me.”
My heart beats out of time at his declaration. “You care about them a lot.”
“I care about you, too, Ava.”
An influx of heat spreads across my sternum as Jaxon’s gaze moves over my face slowly, taking in every little detail. I release a breath that is clutching my chest. His entire expression softens. Even though we’re not touching, I can feel the bond.
How?
“I want to try something, but I don’t want to freak you out,” he says.
“What do you mean?”
Jaxon closes his eyes and takes down a large gulp of air. A tingling sensation taps around the edge of my head, and I raise my hand to itch it away, except it doesn’t go anywhere. The pressure increases, but it’s not uncomfortable; it’s light and reassuring in ways I don’t understand.
Instead of pushing against the sensation, I let it in.
That’s when I hear, Hello. Can you hear my voice?
I startle. What was that?
Jaxon’s lips didn’t move an inch, but I heard every rounded syllable of his voice. It wrapped around my brain like a scarf. My mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out.
“Ava?”
“W-what the hell?” I blurt. “What was that?”
Jaxon’s lips curl to the side. “So it did work.”
“Did work, what?”
I think I’m going crazy. I’m definitely going crazy.
This. It did work.
There is his voice again. In. My. Head.
I shudder at the wave of fulfilment that rushes down my spine. I’ve heard his voice a bunch of times, but why does it sound so much clearer and intimate when it’s in my mind?
No. This must be a joke. It’s impossible.
“Are you playing some kind of trick on me?” I flash him a concerned look.
Jaxon releases a deep laugh. No. It’s called a mindlink. I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to hear me because you’re a human. It’s something werewolves can do between mates, family members, and their pack. It’s an efficient way of communication.
I stare back at him, dumbfounded. “At least your phone bills will be low.”
That smile spreads, flashing off all of his impressive white teeth. “You’re taking this surprisingly well…” he trails off.
“I mean.” I scratch my head again. “I don’t entirely get it, but your world is full of surprises. It’s just strange to hear you…up here.”
“Try it on me,” he says, giving me a look of encouragement.
My head tilts to the side in confusion. “How? I don’t even know where to start.”
Jaxon’s large arms fold over his chest as he studies me for a long moment. “Just close your eyes,” he starts. “Think of directing a message to my head. Think the words loudly and imagine them being sent off into the sphere between us. Aim straight for my mind—nowhere else.”
I furrow my brows at his instructions. That sounds like a lot of work for a message. What if I send it to the wrong person?
“Okay,” I murmur before closing my eyes.
At first, I imagine his mind, but that’s because he’s standing right in front of me. I know where he is and how far away he’s standing. My eyes squeeze tighter, and I focus on him and nothing else.
“That’s it,” he praises. “I can feel you. But tell me something. Speak to me.”
My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip. Hello?
God. This is stupid. Who am I kid–
Hello, Ava.
I snap my eyes open to meet his impressed gaze. “Y-you heard me?” I stutter. He nods with a smile that looks like it’ll never disappear—pride shines in his eyes. I’m doing a basic skill they probably use every day. Why does it feel so incredible?
It’s amazing, isn’t it?
A soft sigh falls from my chest when I hear him again. I resist the urge to close my eyes at the way it drifts over my body like a feather caressing my every last nerve.
“Why do I feel so good hearing you?” I ask out of pure curiosity.
“It’s the bond. I told you it doesn’t always have to be strengthened by touching. It can come from connecting through talking or being around each other.”
A strange sensation suddenly dawns on me. Am I really accepting all of this like it’s normal? My life has changed too many times over the past few years. A part of me doesn’t even know what I’m doing anymore.
It would help if I could remember a damn thing. But it’s like that part of me has been cut off, and I will never access it again.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I guess this is a lot to process.”
“I know.” He nods in agreement. “But nothing has to go faster than you want it to. Everything will be on your terms. I realise how intimidating this all seems.”
“Yeah,” I rasp. “A lot.”
“Guys!” Lucy’s voice booms across the lake. “Come use the swing!”
I glance at her across the lake on a large rock. I tell myself not to dwell on these feelings and to just enjoy today. I’m out. I’m breathing fresh air. I’m swimming in calming water. I’m free.
That’s what I need to remind myself. I am free.