15. Jaxon
Since our trip to the lake a few days ago, the pack house has been fairly quiet, which is a relief as I’ve wanted to stay home and spend time with Ava. She’s been making herself known at breakfast and dinner in my private kitchen, even helping Lucy out with a few things to keep herself busy.
I don’t want to put all my faith in the bond because I want to give Ava all the credit for how hard she’s been trying to settle—despite this not being her true home—but I know the bond between us is helping her realise she can learn to trust me. I want nothing more than for it to be authentic, but I can’t physically slow the bond. It’s inevitable.
That’s why I’m making sure she knows exactly what the bond is doing between us because I want to be honest. The ball is always in her court; I’ve made that clear from the start.
Ava is currently in the living room reading a book with a hot chocolate and a blanket. I decide to leave her to it, to give her some time alone if that’s what she needs.
Lucy meets me in the kitchen and offers me a smile. “So,” she drawls. “Has Ava remembered any of her past yet?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Gemma is trying to help, but she’s struggling.”
Lucy frowns. “Has she thought about Googling herself?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I haven’t asked. I don’t want to meddle in her business. If she wants to come to me, she can come to me.”
“Maybe we should.”
I stare at my sister in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“It’s public knowledge. It might help. We might be able to figure out where she lived before. It could jolt her memory,” Lucy suggests. “I’m not saying to do a full background check, but if she went missing, then there might be an article online or something.”
I run my teeth over my bottom lip. “I don’t know, Luce.”
“If we find anything of worth, we could show her to see if it helps.”
My eyes close for a brief second. I might have done some questionable things in my life, but this settles awkwardly in my stomach. This isn’t how I want her to figure out her past, but at the same time, it might bring her closer to being with her family.
“Fine,” I grumble. “But if we don’t find anything, we leave it, alright?”
Lucy holds up her hands before reaching into her pocket to pull out her phone. I watch the screen as she types in the search bar, “Ava missing girl England”.
A bunch of results show on her phone, but she scrolls and scrolls, and none of them contain anything about Ava. “Not a single thing?” I raise a brow.
“What’s her surname?”
“White.”
Lucy tries again and scrolls with her thumb. I turn away because this is ridiculous. There isn’t a single article, and we shouldn’t be doing this anyway. This isn’t how I want to earn Ava’s trust.
“I found something.”
I dip my head beside my sister’s and glance at the screen. “What?”
She draws up a social media page, where I immediately recognise Ava’s face in the profile picture. There’s a bright white smile beaming at the camera, eyes full of life and light. Happiness. My heart twinges when my wolf realises how broken she seems now, but I know deep down, she’s not broken—she’s lost her way and in desperate need of love and affection.
“Oh my Goddess,” Lucy murmurs. “Jaxon, look.”
I spot the post and frown. “People still use this site?”
“Humans. I don’t know.”
Posted 2 years ago
I just wanted everyone to know I have decided to leave Russell Vale and travel around the world. I wanted to keep this quiet because I didn”t want to say goodbye to my friends and family. This is something I have always wanted to do, and I am so happy I am finally free. Don”t try to contact me. I want to start fresh with my life and make new memories. Ava x
“What the fuck?” I curse.
If that doesn’t sound suspicious, I don’t know what does.
I glance down to find hundreds of comments. “Click on them.”
Lucy scrolls until I tell her to stop. I press my finger to the phone and pause on a comment that stands out.
Kayleigh:How could you leave without even saying goodbye? I thought we were best friends! How could you leave me, reply to my text now!!!!
“Well, we know she’s from Russell Vale,” Lucy comments.
“Which is miles from here.”
She hums softly. “Lucien must have done this.”
“But why? I doubt he cared about having to erase his footsteps. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yeah.” She nods in agreement. “Maybe because she’s human. People might have been looking for her, and this gives the police a reason not to search.”
I stare at the screen for a moment more.
“Are you going to say something to her?”
“She has the right to see this and to connect with her friends and family. But I want her to be ready to see this. I’m worried it might trigger her if she still can’t remember.”
“Maybe.” Lucy lowers her phone. “But it might help.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. “I want to see how her sessions with Gemma are going and see if she’s making any progress first.”
Lucy sighs. “Your call.”
The hairs on my arm stand before I hear my mate”s voice. “What are you guys up to?”
I whip my head to Ava, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Not much,” Lucy says. “Just chatting.”
My eyes roam over Ava, wearing a mint-green jumper and a pair of grey leggings. Her dark hair is placed in a high ponytail with wispy bits falling around her face. “You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She gives me a small smile. “Are you ready to go, Lucy?”
Lucy hums and jumps up. “Of course.”
I frown. “Where are you guys going?”
“We’re going into town to get a dress for Ava for the wedding,” she says as she picks up her keys from the counter. “I asked Ava if she wanted to have a girly day out, and she said yes.”
Ava looks at me timidly. “I hope that’s okay.”
“You can do what you want. Enjoy yourselves,” I say before tucking my hand into my trouser pocket and removing my credit card. “Take this.”
Lucy swipes it from my hand. “Wow, you never give me this thing.”
“It’s for Ava.” I shoot her a glare. “Buy whatever you want.”
“Really?” Ava’s cheeks redden.
“Really.”
“Let me grab my jacket,” Lucy excuses herself from the kitchen.
Ava takes a step towards me. “Thank you.”
We stare at each other for a second, and I’d kill for a moment to give her a hug or a small embrace. But I don’t—even though I can see slight hesitation in her eyes. “Bye, Jax.”
A shiver runs down my spine at the nickname. “Bye, Ava. Have fun.”
I walk them both to the front door before offering a wave.
During the threehours Ava is gone, I have security reports sent to my desk, work around my plan to attack Lucien’s pack, and have Kayden lead a hunting session. Three hours. Yet, the house feels cold.
I run a hand down my face in defeat. My wolf howls inside me the second they step through the front door. I stand from my desk and head downstairs to find them walking into the kitchen with a thousand shopping bags.
Oh, boy.
Lucy’s head twists, and she exhales an exasperated sigh. “Good, you’re here.” She grins. “You can take these.”
I walk towards Ava to take the bags from her hands to find red marks across her palms. “I’ll take those.”
Ava’s big eyes sag with relief. “Thank you.”
“Uh. What about me?”
“Am I your housekeeper?”
Lucy rolls her eyes and leaves them at the door to the kitchen.
But my gaze stays firmly on my mate. Her scent is stronger now. The soft smell of vanilla and chestnut hits me right in the sternum. It’s like instant medicine for any ache or pain.
“How was dress shopping?” I ask Ava.
She hums gently, the sound vibrating my ears. “Yeah, it went well. We found a dress.”
“Yeah?”
Lucy’s eyes explode. “She looks absolutely gorgeous in it!”
Ava looks a little overwhelmed with her rosy cheeks and sharpened breath. “Come,” I beckon my head to her as we walk into the kitchen. “Sit.”
She perches on the stool by the counter as I grab her a glass of water. “Thank you,” she says gratefully before taking a couple of large sips.
I watch her intently, and her eyes flick to mine. They move from my face to the counter and back again. “What?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re back.”
“Awww,” Lucy chimes behind me. “Miss her already?”
“Yeah, I did.”
Ava’s cheeks bleed even darker as she covers her lips with the glass once more.
“So.” I clear my throat to take the attention away from my statement. “Are you going to show me what you got for the wedding?”
“Nope,” Lucy says when Ava opens her mouth. “It’s going to be a surprise.”
Even the thought of seeing Ava in a dress makes my bones chill in excitement. You would think I had never seen a woman in a dress before. She’s beautiful in a jumper and lounge pants—I am not denying that—but I’m dying to see Ava dressed up.
“Well…” I shrug. “I look forward to it.”
“You should.” Lucy wags her eyebrows at me.
“What are you doing tonight, Luce?”
“Bash is taking me out for dinner.”
I nod. “Nice.”
“What about you guys?”
My eyes wander over to Ava, who is already staring at me. “I was hoping to cook this one a nice dinner. What do you say?”
The corners of her lips curl subtly, and she nods with bright eyes. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
“Cute.” Lucy gives me a wink. “Well, you guys enjoy. I need to start getting ready.”
When my sister is gone, I focus on Ava again. “Is there anything in particular you’d like for dinner?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip for a long moment. “Surprise me.”
My brows raise at her suggestion. “Okay. Surprise it is.”
“How was town today?”I ask as we dig into our dinner.
Ava nods and covers her mouth as she chews. “Busy. A little overwhelming, but it felt good to get out. I can’t remember the last time I went shopping.”
“I’m glad you had a good time.”
Her brown eyes lay on mine for a moment. “Is there always a man at the market singing really badly and playing that instrument that has a keyboard and harmonica in one?”
I bark out a laugh, almost choking on a piece of pasta. “Yeah, he’s kind of a legend around here.”
“Legend?” She chuckles with tinted cheeks. “It was a lot to take in.”
“You get used to him and the sound of his voice.”
Ava hides her smile. “Maybe it was just me. He did have a lot of coins in his case.”
“He works hard and definitely brightens people”s day.”
“This is amazing.” Ava releases a satisfied sigh as she places her knife and fork together. She’s practically licked the spinach and ricotta ravioli off the plate. “Thank you, Jax.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
I stand from the table to take the plates, but she rushes to do the same. “I can do that,” she says.
“Sit down,” I say gently. “I can clear up.”
I wander over to the sink to rinse off the plates. “Well, at least let me dry up?” she offers as she appears by my side in a flash.
My eyes flick down to her pleading expression. “Okay.”
I clean the plates and utensils before handing them to her. Our arms brush every now and then, and I bite down on my jaw to suppress the instant warmth that rushes over my body. I know she feels it, too, because she gasped the first time.
“Thank you,” I say as I hand her the last plate to dry.
Her dainty fingers use the tea towel to remove the droplets before placing it on the counter. “No.” She shakes her head. “Thank you for tonight. It was wonderful. It was normal.” She beams at me with all her undivided attention. “No one has ever cooked me dinner like that.”
“Well, get used to it.” I flash her a confident smile.
Ava’s throat tenses when her eyes roam my face. Her scent intensifies and wraps around my lungs like a crushing blow. It’s intoxicating and beautiful.
My hand raises slowly by default, and her lips part when I rest my fingers against her jaw, tilting it ever so carefully. A sound falls from her chest—somewhere between a sigh of relief and a groan.
My nostrils flare at the sound as I step into her, the lower part of her back hitting the counter. My finger trails across her skin softly, over her jawbone and up the pad of her cheek.
All the heat from my body transfers into hers—a live wire between us. Bright colours spiral in my mind at the gentle connection. I can’t stop. Her skin is like silk beneath my fingers.
Her heart pounds. I can hear it roar in my ears. I step closer again, testing the waters, and her eyes flutter shut when I flick my thumb over her chin. It’s a soft caress, nothing more, but it’s euphoric. My blood hums in my veins.
Our chests graze by a millimetre, but I don’t move any closer. Her breathing becomes louder and less controlled. I flick my gaze across her face to find her brows pinching together as if she’s in pain.
Before I can drop my hand, she shoves at my chest, but I don’t move an inch. Instead, she slips from beneath me and moves as far away from me as possible before burying her head in her hands.
An influx of emotions hit me square in the chest, then followed by thoughts that are muddled and inaudible. “Ava–”
“Do not touch me.”
I blink at the rawness of her voice. “I’m sorry,” I heave loudly. “I shouldn’t have touched you without your permission. I’m so sorry.”
The back of her head lowers at the same time her shoulders begin to vibrate. Bile rises in my throat. This is the last thing I wanted. I pushed her too far. I didn’t think rationally about how she would have felt.
Stupid fucking idiot.
Her entire body trembles. I stay back.
“Ava, please talk to me.”
But instead, she shakes her head. “Do not touch me.”
“I’m not going to touch you, okay?”
“Don’t ever do that to me again.”
My heart constricts as if someone has wrapped a hand around it and squeezed.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I promise, I won’t do that again.”
Ava sniffles, and it shatters every part of me. She takes one step forward on shaky legs before she leaves the kitchen without looking back. I know better than to chase her. She needs the space.
But now, I fear I’ve triggered something, and I don’t know how I can comfort her without scaring her. I drop my head into my hands and release a sigh.
Goddess, why do I fuck everything up?