20. Ava
Jaxon’s wolf is larger than any other wolf I’ve ever seen. His fur is black and thick, and his yellow luminous eyes glow back at me. The size of one of his paws is bigger than my head. He’s not just big; he’s huge.
I jump down from the boulder on shaky legs, and then press my back into the rock. I’m not scared of him, but I’ve never seen a wolf like his. If I saw him alone in the woods, I’d be running for the hills. But he breathes through his nose softly and takes a step forward.
It’s okay, he reassures me through our mindlink. His soft voice wraps around my brain and sends soothing motions through my spine, for which I’m grateful. I can see the concern in your eyes.
My head shakes. “Just startled,” I admit. “Are Alphas bigger than normal wolves?”
Yes. I’m a lot bigger than I remember. It’s been a while.
“Is he a completely different subconscious to you?”
Yes. I believe so. We have separate minds, separate wants. He lives in my human body whilst I live in his shifted body.
“But you have full control of your wolf?” I ask slowly.
Always. His instincts might be sharper and more determined, but I still own the brain to our bodies. It’s a complicated idea to wrap your head around, but you can trust me. You can trust him.
I swallow gently. “I know. Your eyes are gleaming yellow.”
My parents like to call it a strange mutation, considering I have blue eyes. Lucy’s wolf’s eyes are blue, and my parents’, too. But mine turned out yellow.
“I think it’s to make you look fiercer,” I blurt. “Like you were born to be an Alpha.”
Jaxon’s laughter fills my mind. I close my eyes with satisfaction from the sound. Do you want to come closer?
I blink once and then twice. “Yeah,” I whisper.
His wolf watches me with those pretty eyes and tilts his snout as I stop directly in front of him. Stroke me.
A mini pause runs through my veins as I raise my hand and extend my arm. The tips of my fingers lightly graze the edge of his fur, and as expected, it’s thick but also incredibly soft. He closes his eyes as I glide my hand across his back, lacing my fingers through the strands until I meet skin.
His wolf takes a step closer, nuzzling his snout into my stomach. He inhales my scent deeply as I continue to stroke him. “He’s beautiful, Jax. You are beautiful.”
After a few moments, I sink to the ground, bending my knees to admire his face. I could only imagine how vicious he could turn if he felt threatened.
He rubs his snout against my chin, and I laugh softly when his fur tickles me. I like your laugh—a lot, he whispers.
I gently cup my hands around his face, grazing over his ears and down to the edge of his jaw. “I’m an extremely ticklish being,” I admit with a glint of amusement. “So please don’t test me. I won’t survive.”
His wolf’s tongue darts out and gives my chin a lick this time. I pull back, but there is a smile on my face. “Now, you’re pushing it,” I say with a playful warning. “Does it feel good to be back in this form?”
Yes. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you.
I snort unattractively. “I doubt it.”
Alphas might be strong, but they still need their Lunas at their sides to help with what they cannot achieve themselves. Power comes from emotion, and without them, we might as well be useless.
Luna. Luna. The word is a little alien to me as Lucien’s pack was strictly males. “Not sure if I’m ready to be a Luna yet. The thought is terrifying. I barely know who I am myself—how could I be someone I know nothing about?”
His wolf nods in understanding. I know. I would never rush you. Your memories of the past will come back soon. I promise.
“I want to know who I was, what my life was like before.” My shoulders slump as I pull my hand away from his fur. “But I’m also surprisingly content here, even if I feel like I don’t belong.”
Jaxon nuzzles his snout against my face again. You do belong. But I’m glad you feel content. That’s all I’ve ever wanted you to feel.
My lips curl into a gentle smile. “Me, too,” I say before clearing my throat. “So when you shift back…are you naked because your clothes have shed?”
Yes. So I suggest you turn around and walk back to the house before I shift.
My cheeks bleed with heat as if I’m already seeing him naked, but instead, I’m just thinking about it. Why on earth am I blushing? This is humiliating.
“Right, I’ll do exactly that then.”
I stand and give his wolf a once-over before turning away and walking back to the pack house. I’m certain this won’t be the last time I see his transformation, and I’m still deeply intrigued.