19. Jaxon
Aknock at my office door stirs me from the messy paperwork on my desk. I glance up and stare at the wooden panel. “Come in,” I shout.
The door cracks open, and I find Sam stepping inside. “You wanted to see me, Alpha?”
My eyes narrow on him and the way he walks in so casually, as if he hasn’t been trash-talking his future Luna like she’s nothing. I try to keep my face calm, but studying his ignorant stance has my wolf stirring inside me.
“Close the door,” I command and stand.
Sam turns and shuts the door. I step around my desk to take slow strides towards him, tucking my hands behind my back as he follows my every move. “Do you have any idea why I’ve called you here, Sam?”
“Uhhh…I wasn’t doing well in training?”
My lip quirks at him. “Well, I’m relieved one of us finally said it, but no. I haven’t called you here because of your lame attempts during training.”
Sam doesn’t seem pleased by my brash response, but I wasn’t happy with his either when he made Ava feel less than she is. I bet he wouldn’t be able to last a day experiencing the abuse and neglect she suffered.
I pause directly in front of him, the tips of our shoes almost touching. Sam’s eyes flick upwards to look at me, and right now, he seems small enough to squash under my foot.
“Do you know what I don’t like?” I ask smoothly despite the bitterness on my tongue.
Sam seems taken aback by my question. He shakes his head, eyes moving to the left and then to the right as he ponders. “Uhhh…people who are bad at training?”
I laugh, but I’m not entertained. Not whilst he’s still none the wiser of the damage he’s caused. “Wrong.” I flash him a fake smile. “I don’t like people talking shit about my mate, let alone your future Luna, who you will one day bow down to.”
His eyes widen like he’s been caught in a trap. “Alpha, I did–”
My hand raises to silence him, and his voice stops abruptly. “I swear, you say another word, Sam, and I’ll have your head on a fucking stick and your body burning on the stake.”
Sam presses his lips together and manages to nod in understanding.
“I would ask if you have some kind of excuse for talking down to Ava, but I know there isn’t a single one in this world that could explain why you said what you said,” I snarl in his direction.
He flinches from the proximity between us, his eyes closing in fear. I grit my teeth at his reaction. As if closing his eyes is going to make this situation any easier; he’s just dug himself a deeper hole.
“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” I roar across my office to find him snapping his eyes open. He shudders. He fucking shudders. Pathetic.
I turn my nose up at him. “Goddess,” I grumble as I take the collar of his shirt and shove him back into the wall. “You’re a coward. A fucking coward.”
He squirms against me, but his strength is nothing on mine. He knows better than to fight when I lift him off the ground like he weighs a grain of rice.
“Now, if I ever hear you say another fucking word about your future Luna again, I will skin you alive, and I will enjoy every second of it,” I hiss through my teeth. “Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Alpha.”
I lower him for a second before I release my fist straight into his gut. He releases a gurgling sound before hunching over as he gasps for a breath. I’m certain I felt one of his ribs crack beneath my knuckles. “You can enjoy spending a week in the dungeon. Limited food, limited water, and zero sunlight. I hope it was worth it.”
My fists release his collar, and he slumps forward. An arm wraps around his waist as he attempts to straighten, but he can’t. I roll my eyes at his weakness.
Guards, collect my newest prisoner.
On our way, Alpha.
Soon, the door to my office opens, and two of my largest dungeon guards step towards Sam, grabbing him roughly by the arms. “Wait–” he heaves. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset her.”
My jaw aches from clenching so tightly. “It’s a bit late for that. Don’t you think, Sam?”
His eyes flash me a look of regret, but he made his choices. I shake my head once and nudge my head towards the door. “Get him out of my sight before I actually kill him.”
As he’s being dragged away, he attempts to struggle against their grip, but he’s out of his depth. If he keeps this up, I’ll make it two weeks, then he’ll realise he can’t fight his way out of his mistakes. He must learn from them.
After his dramatic exit, I shut the door and sit back at my desk. A long exhale escapes my lips as I lean into my chair, stretching out the muscles in my back. My finger runs along the edge of my hairline in an attempt to help me focus on the work in front of me.
I’ve sent some of my pack’s wolves off to Lucien’s territory to suss out his schedule, exit points, weaknesses—everything. Since I found out his location, I’ve had eyes on him. Now we’ve got a plan, I need to know every last detail of how his pack is run. I will not fuck up this mission. I want Ava to have closure from these monsters who have left physical and invisible marks on her forever.
A thousand thoughts cross my mind, but with Lucy and Sebastian’s wedding coming up and Ava slowly but surely opening up to me, I don’t want to jump the gun. It’s already an overwhelming time for her. All she has to know is they’re being watched, and she’s safe. If they ever started moving closer, I’d execute the mission in an instant.
My fists clench, and I can’t hold back the smile as I imagine them covered in their blood. Every single one of them who has touched her. All of them will pay, and I won’t be gentle about it.
A knock at my office door stirs me from my work. I shake my head and glance up. “Come in,” I yell.
The door handle twists, and my gaze collides with my mate as she steps inside. Her brown eyes immediately light up the room, and I shiver subtly at her unexpected entrance. “Everything okay?” I ask as I lean forward.
Ava’s teeth clamp down on her bottom lip as she steps inside, not shutting the door behind her. “Are you busy?”
“For you?” I quirk a brow. “Never.”
Her cheeks spread with a tint of pink, something I always find incredibly adorable. “What are you up to?”
“Alpha duties,” I admit. “Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Oh?”
“Oh.”
A ghost of a smile rests on her pretty little lips. “Where is everyone? The house is so quiet.”
“Half the pack are out on an important duty.” I stand from my desk and straighten out my shirt. “The other half are training with Kayden.”
“You didn’t want to go with them?”
I shake my head. “I’ve been busy with a workload.”
Ava flicks her gaze to mine for a second before she runs her finger along the edge of my dark wooden desk. “You seem to work a lot,” she comments.
“Trying to stay on top of things. It’s literally the least I can do for my pack. They deserve an Alpha who is on the ball, and I’m not falling behind again. I have to be a good role model for them.”
“Did you work a lot before?”
I nod. “Yes, but this feels different now. I’m not letting anyone down again.”
Ava stares at me for a long moment before a wave of anxiety crawls through my sternum, and I frown at the intrusion of her emotions.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just–” she sighs and finds the words. “Being the only human is a little isolating.”
My brows bunch together as I study her for a moment. “Just because you’re human doesn’t mean you’re any different than us.”
“I feel like I am.”
The room falls to silence for a few seconds. Ava’s hand points to the desk where there is an empty spot. “You didn’t get a new frame for the picture I smashed?”
“I never got around to it,” I say, but she eyes me suspiciously.
“Why? Julia was your mate, too. You don’t need to hide her from me if that’s what you’re doing. I know you loved her, and you still do. That’s never going to go away.”
Her name is like an unexpected spear to the chest.
“Yeah,” I rasp. “I guess I haven’t had time to do it.”
“I see.”
My lips press together as Ava’s eyes begin to roam my office, paying attention to a large map on the wall.
“I might still have love for Julia, but she’s not here anymore, and I can’t keep chasing ghosts. I know she’d want me to be happy; she’d want me to find my peace.”
Ava offers me a small smile. “Everyone deserves to find their own peace.”
“Including you.”
“Yes.”
I stare back at her for a long moment. The girl she was when she came here is barely a fraction of who she is now. Pride and warmth burn through my chest like a flickering candle.
“Can I ask you something?” My arms fold over my chest as I lean back against the edge of my desk.
Ava nods.
“Does the name Russell Vale ring a bell for you?”
Her eyelids flutter gently, and she pulls back her head. “Russell Vale?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Does that mean anything?”
She twists to the wall and presses a hand into her hair, spreading it through the strands softly. “I–” she cuts herself off. “Uhh–”
“If it doesn’t, it’s okay,” I reassure her.
I want nothing more than for her to remember herself rather than ambush her with all this information. I don’t want to take this achievement away from her—not when she’s been trying so hard with Gemma in her sessions.
“Maybe,” she exhales with a disorientated expression. “Should it? I can’t find a place for it in my head.”
My heartbeat pounds in my throat. “It’s a popular human town in the north. I was wondering if it meant anything to you. Only a question.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Do you want to go outside and watch their training session?”
Ava nods in agreement. “I’d like that. I need to get out of this house for a bit.”
I walk across my office and beckon my head to the hall. “Let’s go, then.”
We make our way downstairs through my private entrance and into the clearing at the back of the house. “I’ve not seen you train with them in your wolf form before.”
My lips tip to the side. “You”ve been watching me, Ava?”
“Well, when you all leave, there isn’t much else to do.” She covers her embarrassed face with a hand on her cheek. “I’m intrigued.”
I release a soft laugh. “I’m flattered.” I flash her a small wink. “I don’t train with them in my wolf form because since Julia’s death, I haven’t been able to shift.”
She places a hand over her heart and frowns. “He’s not there anymore?”
“He wasn’t there at all for a while. I couldn’t feel him. I couldn’t hear him. It was like he was dead when Julia passed,” I say slowly before the words become muddled in my mouth. “But when I found you, it woke him up again. I heard and felt him for the first time in nine months.”
Ava’s mouth falls open in shock. “Because of me?”
“Yeah, because of you.”
“But you can’t shift into that form?”
“No.”
We inch closer into our territory, where Kayden has my wolves running at lightning speed. They’re playing one of our favourite training games that involves a lot of defence and ample amounts of competition.
I help Ava up onto one of the boulders so she has a better advantage point. She immediately drops her hands into her lap and glances around at the wolves as they pass. “So, how do you get your wolf back?” she asks curiously.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I feel the closest to him when I’m around you.”
She blinks in surprise. “When specifically?”
“When I held you. I felt incredibly close to him, then.”
Ava’s eyes roam my face, and I take in her pure beauty. I adore the way her natural complexion has been restored with a healthy glow and how her eyes seem brighter than when I first met her—like life is blossoming. Even when she smiles, I find myself doing the same, like a goofy idiot who has just learnt to smile for the first time. I can’t help it. It’s an instinctive reflex I don’t want to stop. Her smile is contagious.
“Shall we try it again?” she suggests.
Goddess, she’s breathtaking.
She’s not looking at me. She’s beaming at me with hopefulness in her eyes. She wants to help me get my wolf back, and I can sense him running circles inside me at the thought alone.
“Only if you’re okay with it,” I say gently. “Don’t do it for me.”
“Well, you’ve done a lot for me,” she shrugs. “I want to do something for you, too. If it helps. I know you want your wolf back; it’s obviously something that makes you, you.”
My jaw tightens at her selfless statement. I merely nod. She opens her arms, slides them around my back, and buries her face into my chest. I hear her inhale deeply, and I can only presume my scent somewhat reassures her. My hand rests on the back of her head as I keep her close to me. The wideness of my body drowns her. My other arm wraps around her back in an embrace that could tilt the axis of this planet.
I drop my forehead to her crown and listen to the way our hearts thump over and over. She grabs my shirt, and I listen to her soft breathing, making my skin tingle.
My wolf is scratching at the edges to get out. He’s there, but it’s not enough to break this emotional and mental block I’ve caused. I let my fingers run through the back of Ava’s hair and she releases a shuddering whimper.
I sigh in satisfaction and think about my precious mate between my arms. She’s safe here. For a moment, I can’t control the thought of her pain, tears, or sadness as it etches its way into my mind.
My wolf growls deep inside me at the agonising thoughts. No one hurts her. No one will ever hurt her again. I promise myself and my wolf that. If anyone lays a single finger on her, I’ll kill them without hesitation.
Then, when I least expect it, Ava’s smooth, tranquilising voice echoes through my head. Is it working? Do we need to try something else? This feels good to me.
My hand wraps around her back, and I tug her to me. I lower my head so my nose runs along the edge of her neck.
It does. I groan softly. So much.
A giggle erupts in my brain that comes out of nowhere, but it makes me short-circuit for a moment. My wolf doesn’t just claw at my insides; his whole paw practically rips through my skin—or that’s what it feels like.
Our bond, it’s…beautiful, she whispers in my mind. I want to see your wolf. Show him to me. Let me see all of you.
I pull away from Ava and pant heavily. Her eyes search mine as she grips my shoulders. “Is it working?”
“Yes,” I heave, but deep-red pain soars through me.
It’s been a long damn time since I last shifted, and I can only imagine how my bones have become used to my human form. I jump down from the boulder and grip my hair as heat tears me from the inside out.
“Jax–” Ava’s voice calls from behind me.
Stay back, I warn her.
My back arches with a loud crack at the same time my clothes begin to tear. I heave out shaky breaths as every single bone grows and snaps into a thousand uncomfortable positions. A growl forms at the top of my lungs as fur bursts from my skin and my paws hit the ground.
I take a moment to control my breathing. I turn around to face Ava through my yellow eyes. She’s still sitting on top of the boulder, a hand covering her lips.
“Holy–” she cuts herself off.
My paws grind into the dirt, and I exhale through my snout. I can smell every single thing, including Ava’s earth-shattering scent. I thought it was powerful before, but now, it’s like she’s been laced through my veins and is here to stay.
You’re back, I say to my wolf as he stretches out every limb.
He vibrates in response, and I already know what he thinks.
This is all thanks to our mate.