30. Ava
Lucy and Sebastian have been home from their honeymoon for an entire day before Jaxon drags Sebastian away to train. I take a walk with Lucy through the town for a change of scenery. Every last detail of their honeymoon? I hear about it.
I swear this woman doesn’t have a filter, but I appreciate her willingness to share. It makes me feel like I’ve been here all along. I smile listening to her; it’s nice to hear happy stories and exciting memories being made.
“Anyway.” She waves a hand in her face. “Enough about me. How was it whilst we were away?”
A soft hum vibrates off my lips. “Yeah. It’s been good. Jaxon’s back to training everyone until they bleed internally.”
Lucy snorts. “Sounds like my brother.”
We fall into a comfortable silence for the first time since we stepped out of the house, and I let my boots kick the leaves that have fallen on the path.
My head tilts towards Lucy, who is smiling up at the blue sky. I part my lips, the question on the tip of my tongue. She’s the only person I feel comfortable enough to have this discussion with—apart from Gemma, but I’d like to get a friend”s opinion.
“Lucy,” I say. “I wanted to ask you about something.”
Her eyes light up. “Yeah, go ahead. What’s up?”
A knot twists in my gut, but it’s been playing on my mind for the last few days, and if I don’t talk about it, I’ll start overthinking. “I know this is a bit awkward because I’m mates with Jaxon. But recently, my body has been getting all hot and flustered, especially when I’m around him. I’ve never felt anything like it before, and I don’t know if it’s normal or if I need to get checked out at the infirmary. It’s like I’m being sizzled from the inside out.”
We pause at the entrance of a spacious field. Lucy shakes her head. “It is normal, Ava. It’s called heat.”
“What?”
“Heat,” she states again, and I stare at her dumbfounded. “It’s what we go through when we find our mate. It’s the bond’s way of getting us to mate quicker.”
I frown at her words. “But I’m not a wolf.”
“Maybe it’s because Jaxon is an Alpha. It makes the bond stronger and the urge more prominent,” she offers simply.
I’m quiet for a few moments, taking in her words. “And the mating process…”
“You know about it?”
“Briefly,” I confess. “Jaxon has explained what it means and so has Gemma. I asked her to give me a breakdown of what’s expected of the Luna, but she didn’t mention the heat side of things.”
Lucy nods, and we start walking again. “She might not have expected you to experience heat. I mean, I’m not entirely sure what would happen if Jaxon marked you anyway. I don’t know what a mark could do to a human. He would never want to hurt you.”
My mouth turns bone-dry at this conversation. I already know I’m incredibly out of my depth. I take a sharp breath, and Lucy links her arms with mine as if registering my sudden distress.
“Don’t overthink it now, Ava,” she says softly. “You don’t have to think of mating, marking, or any of the intimate stuff if you’re not ready. Jaxon would certainly not pressure you, and everything else will make more sense as time goes on. What’s most important is that you feel safe and comfortable. There is no rush, so don’t pressure yourself.”
I nod and swallow back the lump in my throat. “And the heat?”
“If it becomes unbearable, a pack doctor might be able to give you medicine to help calm you down. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It intensifies emotions you already feel. It’s similar to a period. Some women’s sexual desire peaks when it’s their time of the month. Heat is similar, and it doesn’t last forever. It comes and goes, but medicines can help.”
I knew I found Jaxon attractive before, that’s a given. Now, when I see him—especially with his T-shirt off—my entire mind goes on a journey, one I thought I would be afraid of, but I’m slowly accepting that being turned on is okay. I’m still safe in my bubble, and that’s what matters.
“Thanks, Luce,” I tell her gratefully. “For being the kindest person.”
She releases a laugh. “Sebastian wouldn’t think so, not after the dramas I caused at the wedding. But I appreciate it, Ava. And I’m always here if you want to ask me anything. Always.”
Today is Jaxon’s birthday.I slightly despise him for not telling me, making me find out through Lucy only a couple of days before. His reasoning being he didn’t want me to feel stressed.
So we decided to throw him a party at the pack house. Considering I don’t have a single penny in my pocket, this was the least I could do to let him know that I’m thinking of him. I’ll have to make it up to him another time.
“Do you think this dress is too much?” I ask Lucy as I push down the red hem.
She stares at me in the reflection of the mirror with clenched brows. “No, you look incredible. It’s a party, Ava. Everyone is going to be dressed up. Let’s go. We’re already late.”
Crap. I gather my things, which include a lip gloss and a pair of heels.
“Jaxon is probably wondering where the hell you are,” she says as she holds the door open for me. I follow her out into the hall, tucking my feet into the heels and stabilising my balance before heading downstairs.
The noise from the kitchen is loud, with a choir of chatting and booming music blaring throughout the room. Now I think about it, I can’t imagine Jaxon enjoying a party. I suppose it’s the thought that counts, right? Everyone agreed to help clean up early tomorrow morning before Jax sees the damage.
I reach the doors to the kitchen. People are flowing in and out of the room. I take a moment to pause and steady my breath.
Lucy stops beside me. “You good?”
My eyes float over the sea of people. A strain of anxiety crawls up my throat at the sight. “Yeah.” I nod. “Just a bit overwhelmed.”
She takes my hand and gives me a supportive smile. “You’ve got this. Come on. Let’s go.”
“Okay.” I nod as she tugs me towards the kitchen.
I immediately start panning around the room, my eyes settling on people I haven’t met before. Lucy was in charge of the guest list. I merely helped with decorations and food orders.
My head stops turning when it lands on Jaxon. His back is towards me, but he’s facing a woman who I’ve never seen before. Her hair is cut into a short bob, and she has gleaming eyes. She rests her hand on his forearm, but he pulls away as soon as she makes contact.
My stomach churns, and I don’t know why. Lucy seems to sense the tension in my body. “Hey, it’s nothing. They’re just talking,” she says softly.
Exactly, they’re just talking. So why the hell do I feel like this?
I learnt my lesson before. I have to control my emotions.
The last thing we need is a catfight at a birthday party.
I turn and force a smile in her direction. “I know.”
“Just go over. He’s dying to see you, Ava. Knock him dead.” She winks.
She gives my hand a squeeze before dropping it, and I straighten my spine for fake confidence. I make a beeline towards them.
Just put on a brave face, I tell myself.
“Hey,” I call when I appear beside him.
Jaxon’s eyes flick to mine, and he takes a moment to analyse my face before they move down my body. “Holy fuck,” he whispers to himself.
My cheeks burn so painfully at those two words. His eyes literally turn black as he looks over me again, in which he takes his sweet time, devouring me with his intense gaze.
“Ava, you look incredible.”
He places a hand delicately on my warm cheek and brings our lips together in a featherlight kiss. Oh, goodness. This is everything I need right now. I’m flooded with reassurance.
We pull away, but he keeps us close as he beams at me. I smile back when a set of unwanted eyes lands on us. The girl he was talking to is watching us like a hawk.
I’m convinced she’s trying to hide the daggers she’s aiming at me, but her expression is all over the place. I move away from Jax and hold out my hand. “Hi, I’m Jax’s mate, Ava. And you are?”
I didn’t know something so sickly sweet could come out of my mouth. She glances down at my hand and shakes it sloppily. “Maddy.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, twisting my head.
She drops my hand and flashes us both a tight smile. “Have a good night.”
We watch her walk away, and I shoot imaginary lasers into the back of her head. Jaxon stares back at me with a knowing smirk. “Who are you, and what the hell have you done with my Ava?” he says teasingly.
“I just wanted to say hi.” I let my lashes brush my cheekbone in an innocent gesture. “I thought it would go down better than what I made Rachel endure. I’d like to keep my eyeballs. Did you see the length of her fingernails?”
Jaxon barks out a laugh and cups my cheek again. “If I knew better, I’d think you were jealous.”
“Not jealous, just staking my claim,” I admit.
His eyes blow up in flames. “Goddess,” he hisses and dips his head to mine. “Is it bad that seeing you like this turns me on?”
My whole body betrays me by jolting at his words. The heat between my legs spreads, and I whimper silently. Goddamn this heat. I can barely survive this torture.
Instead of responding, I clear my throat and attempt a covering smile. “Happy birthday again. We promise to tidy up in the morning. It’s going to be a mess.”
He grunts and runs his lips over mine. “Couldn’t give a shit about the mess when I’ve got the best birthday present ever.”
All night,I try my best to mingle at the party, but realistically, I just want to be by Jaxon’s side. I remind myself it’s his birthday and everyone here wants to speak to him. I have to learn to share.
“How’s it going?” Lucy pops up beside me with Sebastian on her arm.
My lips curl at their presence. “Good. How about you guys?”
“Oh, you’ll never guess who turned up,” Lucy begins to ramble, but I zone out when my eyes rest on Jaxon across the kitchen. He’s standing with Kayden and a few other wolves from the pack.
My eyes study him intently, occasionally humming towards Lucy so it sounds like I’m listening. His dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows, thick forearms on full display. My parted lips close in case I start drooling. He looks ridiculously good. More than good—divine.
I focus on his face and watch as he laughs towards the group, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. He reaches up to swipe his thumb across his bottom lip. Ugh. Why is he so attractive? I wonder if he knows what sort of power he possesses in a room like this. I shake my head. Of course, he does. He’s an Alpha.
Stop eye-fucking me, baby. Jaxon’s voice is loud and clear through the mindlink. He’s laughing away with his pack—I didn’t think he noticed me.
How does he know I’m checking him out?
Unless you want me to do something about it, then I suggest you stop.
I blush furiously and look down to my feet. Sorry, I say timidly.
My chest can barely keep up. I wait for my anxiety to hit me, but it doesn’t. Instead, it does something weird to my insides. Lucy is somehow still talking. “S-sorry, Lucy,” I murmur to her. “If you’ll excuse me.”
I quickly push my way out of the kitchen. Lucy calls after me, but I don’t turn back. My skin is about to melt off the bone. I climb the stairs faster than I’ve ever moved before stepping into my bedroom and running to the en-suite.
I bend over the sink and splash my face with cold water, but it doesn’t help. I’m burning up. Sizzling. I look at myself in the mirror. God, I am beyond flustered. I barely recognise myself with pink-tinted cheeks and dilated pupils.
I curl my fingers around the basin and grip, taking steady inhales until I calm down.
Or don’t.