21. JESS
Chapter twenty-one
JESS
“Where are you headed, dear?” Gus asks as I bring my suitcase into the hallway.
“Home,” I say solemnly.
“You are home. You just moved here; you can’t go already.” His forehead creases in concern, his eyes droop.
Gus really is the sweetest. Now I feel bad that I never took him up on his scrapple offers over the past few weeks. I should’ve choked some of it down to return his kindness.
I lean in to give him a hug. “I’m going back to Pittsburgh. It’s where I’m from, where my family still lives.”
“Why?” he asks. “I thought you worked for the Hawks; the season hasn’t even started yet. Isn’t the first game tomorrow?”
He’s right. It is. But after Coach caught Jagger and me kissing at the lake, I had to resign. It was either that or Jagger was off the team, and there was no way I was going to let that happen.
I had the chance to stop this situation. Jagger hesitated before he kissed me, and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was giving me a chance to say ‘no,’ to tell him it was too risky.
But I didn’t say ‘no,’ and although that kissing session is permanently seared into my brain—it was a ten plus on the hotness scale, there’s just something about water—it came at too high a cost.
Coach called us both into the office yesterday morning and said Jagger was off the team. I’ve never seen Coach look so serious… or so disappointed. I’ve become close with him too since I arrived. It’s like an instant family around here. All of a sudden, it’s like I have twenty-two extra brothers and a bonus dad.
I’m certainly not close with all the guys, just a handful, really. But the relationships are meaningful, and I want the best for the entire team. Which is why I was working so hard on the TikTok campaign.
I want the rec center standing room only and screaming fans at every game to encourage the guys on their way back to success.
Coach wasn’t thrilled with that first post about Dax. But he’s since told me—especially after seeing the fan base grow every preseason game—what a great job I’ve done. We’ve really bonded over our common goal of success for the team.
So, seeing Coach’s frustration with the two of us was hard. He’s a pretty jovial guy in general, serious when he needs to be, but an overall easy-going man.
But we forced his hand.
I was just as much a part of ignoring the contract as Jagger was, and I couldn’t just sit there and watch Jagger lose everything he’s worked for in that office. So, I quit.
After Jagger went to the locker room to get all his gear together, I went back to see Coach Bradley. I made it clear that it was all me.
I pursued Jagger. He tried to stay away from me and not engage. This isn’t entirely untrue. He did hold back in the beginning, but I was the one who wouldn’t let it go. I went to his apartment; I got too close.
With what happened at the lake, I see now how hard it is for people to resist when they have the kind of connection we do.
I understand why Jagger was ignoring me. It was the only way we were going to stay apart; our pull is just too strong.
Coach Bradley clearly didn’t believe Jagger to be some sort of victim in this whole thing, nor do I think he bought any of my story. And although I know he cares about me, he realizes Jagger’s a whole lot more valuable to this team than I am.
They can hire another social media manager tomorrow. There is no one like Jagger West on the ice. So, he accepted my resignation and agreed that Jagger would continue with the team.
With me gone, there’s no more conflict of interest, he doesn’t need to enforce the contract.
Obviously, he never had to enforce it, but I understand why he did. Relationships affect everything, and if ours went south again, it could affect Coach’s livelihood. It doesn’t look good to the owners if he can’t control his players, be respected in his role, and enforce the guidelines he sets.
Now, no one even needs to know about the contract, about what happened on that shoreline. The only person who knew about our relationship was Tina, and she was not going to tell any of the guys on the team.
So, I’ll head home. Jagger will stay here until he works his way back to Miami. And hopefully this team will be everything I’ve wanted it to be this season.
“It is, Gus. Things just didn’t work out for me here. But I’ve enjoyed being your neighbor, and I’m sorry I never came over for scrapple.” I smile at him weakly, feeling a tug at my heart.
“Oh, that’s ok. What about your things?” he asks.
“I’ll send for them. I don’t really have all that much. I never started decorating, been too busy with my job.”
His eyes light up. “Yes! I’ve heard all about what you’ve done with that Ticky Tak thing. Mabel told me. She’s always on her phone watching videos. She showed me that one fella who likes to show off his abs.”
Dax. I’m going to miss him so much.
I tilt my head at him in question and arch an eyebrow. “Mabel? When did that happen?"
Gus blushes, it’s adorable. “Well,” he begins, as his smile grows larger and larger. “I met her in the elevator one day. She was coming home from Jazzercise. I asked if she was hungry.”
He leans in closer to whisper. “She looked fantastic in all that spandex, if you know what I mean. I’m a sucker for legwarmers, too.”
Wow.
“Anyway, it turns out she loves scrapple. She’s been coming over a few times a week ever since. And trust me, it’s not just about the scrapple— that’s only the appetizer, if you know what I—”
“Yes, yes, I know what you mean,” I cut him off. I don’t need any more details about his scrapple aphrodisiac.
Just then Mabel’s door opens. It’s Jazzercise o’clock. Gus’s eyes widen as she approaches. “Hey there, hot stuff! Going to shake that thing?”
Her eyes twinkle. “You got it. When I’m done, maybe I’ll come over to your place and shake it for you, too,” she teases as she shimmies down the hallway with some extra swing in her hips.
I feel like I’m on some sort of prank show. I just lost my second chance at love but am forced to watch two people in their eighties flirt like they’re teenagers.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for them. They’re both great people, and it’s awesome to see it’s never too late for love or whatever is happening between the two of them.
Gus is grinning like a Chesire cat, so clearly, it’s something good.
“I’ll miss you, Gus. But it looks like you won’t be lonely when I’m gone,” I joke.
He leans in to hug me one more time. “I’ll miss you too, dear. Travel safe.”
I walk to Jagger’s door one last time before I go. He doesn’t even know I’m leaving. I didn’t answer any of his calls last night, just texted him we’d talk later today.
Coach plans on calling him into his office sometime around noon to tell him he’s still on the team. I’ll be long gone by then. It’s for the best, really.
I decided to fly because I can’t keep thinking about everything. It takes four days to drive across the country. I want to be home… now. I’ll send for my car once I get there. I don’t really need one in the city anyway.
Nat’s picking me up at the airport in Pittsburgh, and I’m going to stay with her while I figure out my next move. It isn’t where I thought I’d see her for the first time in a few months. I thought she’d be out here this winter, and we’d both spend a Saturday falling down over and over as we learned how to snowboard.
I’d introduce her to the team, to Tina, to my interesting neighbors. We’d go to dinner with Jagger, talk about all the success the Hawks are having, the way they’ve turned things around. I had a vision for how it was all going to play out.
But life’s unpredictable, especially mine. That “meet, fall in love, get married” fairytale? The easy path to Happily Ever After doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.
There are a few hockey teams in Pennsylvania, so I’ll see if there are any openings to be able to stay close to the family. Coach said he’d give me a great recommendation.
I tape a letter to his door. I don’t want to slide it underneath in case he sees it too early. I don’t want Jagger running to the airport just as I’m about to board the plane like some romcom movie. Not that those sorts of things ever actually happen. It’s so cheesy and unrealistic.
But I need to say goodbye and go back to what worked last time—cutting off all contact. I want to make sure he knows how much he means to me, but that my desire for what’s best for him is stronger than my desire to be together.
Hopefully, he sees this is the only way.
I’ve done my best to convince him of that in my letter. On the plane ride across the country, maybe I can work on convincing myself, too.