Chapter 12 #2
No. “I needed a clean shirt after work, and a friend gave it to me.” All true.
“Is this the ‘friend’ whose place you stayed at?” Mom pressed. “I don’t mind if it is, but I don’t want any more surprises arriving in nine months’ time, if you know what I mean.”
“Mom!”
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me. I thought I could trust you, and we all saw what happened.”
How long would Mom hold this against her? “You don’t need to worry. Nothing happened. It’s not like that.”
Mom sniffed. “I’ve heard that before.”
Wonderful.
She ate her yogurt while she completed paperwork. Nobody ever mentioned during medical training just how much of her time would be taken up with paperwork. Approving this, ratifying that, ordering this test, that test and all the other things.
Her phone buzzed and she glanced at the screen.
Miss you. Wish you were here.
“Whoa. Is that a smile I see from the doctor?” Nancy teased.
Her smile instantly fell away. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Come on. I saw it. It wasn’t my imagination.”
“Pretty sure it must’ve been. There’s nothing to see here.”
“Let me guess. It’s your hockey hunk, right?”
“Um, did you have someone for me?”
“Nope. You’re getting nothing from me. Not until I get something from you.”
“Sounds like you’re saying it’s time for me to go home.”
“No way. You don’t get out of another shift this week. Not after last time.”
Yep, there went that guilt strum again. Skipping work on Tuesday had resulted in more than a few anxious queries about her health the next day when she’d showed up as per normal. Even if it was the most rested she’d felt in years. Kyle’s couch really was that comfy.
She ignored the tease a little longer, thankful for the distraction as the ER phone shrilled its warning that another patient was being ambulanced in.
The last hours of her shift passed with cases involving lacerations, chest pains, and a drug-addled schizophrenic patient who needed to be strapped down on the gurney. That was never fun, but neither was being vomited on or punched in the jaw by someone who had lost his sense of reason.
It was much later still when she’d finally finished her paperwork and could drive home.
Home. Her shoulders slumped, remembering Kyle’s insistence on driving her home on Tuesday.
Thank goodness she’d remained strong and refused him, and he’d been gracious enough to let it go.
What would Kyle have said if he knew where she lived?
Would he look down on her? Not that he had before, back in Willow Springs.
But he definitely would once she told him the truth about Bella. She couldn’t keep hoping for a better outcome—for a Cinderella ending—when a secret this big was busting to be brought into the open.
So she’d tell him. Soon. He deserved to know. Especially seeing he’d been so kind to her on their last encounter. Maybe that kindness was strong enough to look past her mistakes and still want to have something to do with her. Even if she didn’t deserve it.
She parked but remained inside the vehicle a moment more. It was too late to contact Kyle now. It’d be nearly two AM there. Still, maybe she could message him. That way he’d know he was in her thoughts.
But what could she say that was honest, yet wouldn’t fuel too much hope in case things—like the bombshell about Bella—didn’t work out? She needed to tread carefully.
Oh, she longed for those days when their friendship meant they could say anything to each other. When they didn’t have secrets. No filters. No guards. Just real.
Now it felt like land mines were waiting to explode if she put a foot wrong.
And if he were to find out about Bella in some way other than what she told him, well, there were no guarantees that this fragile peace between them wouldn’t explode.
So it was best to tread lightly, warily, until everything was finally out in the open.
Until then, she didn’t need Kyle getting excited about a future she had no control over.
She finally tapped out,
Miss you too.
There. That was innocuous enough, wasn’t it? Anybody could miss someone else. It didn’t mean they wanted to be married to them.
She waited, but sure enough, no response came through. See? He probably was asleep. He’d mentioned that he’d be busy, and she should’ve just believed him.
She went inside, patted Betsy, turned off the lights. Mom’s light was off, so hopefully she could get to her room without Mom coming to investigate.
Two minutes later she was in the shower, washing away the stress of the day. Thank goodness for shower caps that meant she didn’t need to wet her hair every night. Blood had a funny habit of often ending up places it really shouldn’t go.
She got back into bed and found a new message. Another message that made her smile.
Good night, Gen. See you in my dreams.
Corny? Maybe, but she didn’t mind. It was enough that others might think there was something going on.
Which there wasn’t. But from the sounds of his comment, there potentially could be.
It all depended on what happened when she finally admitted the truth about Bella.
The darkness closed around her. She shut her eyes, her ears latching onto the outside noises.
The slam of a car door. The distant hum of traffic.
The various sighs and creaks of an old house.
Her mind, busy always, gradually began to relax as she thought about Kyle.
How he’d matured, becoming even kinder than she remembered. More patient too.
Guilt squeezed. She’d tell him next time she saw him. She had to. Especially when he’d been so generous with her. This secret was going to come out.
Please let him be understanding.
Her thoughts, her dreams—she didn’t know what it was—shifted to see a man, dressed in white, beckoning her forward. But her feet refused to move, she knew she was unworthy, yet her heart hungered for that peace that had forever seemed elusive.
And she let herself imagine that she lived in a world where broken things could be set right, where life’s burns could heal without a mark, and a woman who worked so hard trying to prove she wasn’t a bad person, could finally relax and be accepted, scars and all.