Chapter 13
This flight was taking way too long.
Kyle wiped damp hands down his black jeans, his white T-shirt chosen so it wouldn’t show the sweat he could feel trickling down his back.
His seat’s air-conditioning thingy was broken, and he wasn’t about to ask the woman beside him to angle hers his direction.
She’d already acted too interested, forcing him to feign sleep, his baseball cap tugged low over his eyes.
He didn’t want to interact with anyone else. Not when he had a super important conversation with one particular woman to think about.
He’d messaged her earlier. She was off today, and had agreed to meet him at a restaurant for an early dinner. And now he was busy rehearsing all the things he wanted to say.
Things like: I love you. I was wrong to insist we part. I want to be part of your life again.
Mitch’s wedding had only stirred up fresh frustrations, fresh desires.
And yes, Ryan and the others had encouraged him to wait until he knew for sure where Gen stood with God, but he didn’t want to wait.
It had already been too long. And, as Mitch and Britta had declared, life was short.
And what if he missed his second chance with Gen because he was so busy waiting for her to find God?
He didn’t want to miss out on her again. Too much time had already been wasted.
A cough drew his attention to a man striding past, dragons tattooed on his arms. He reminded Kyle of Ryan’s wife Sylvie.
Ryan had admitted that she was the reason he had urged caution, their relationship starting when Ryan had assumed Sylvie was a Christian, only to discover later that she wasn’t following Jesus.
“You don’t want to get entangled with someone who isn’t a believer,” Ryan had said to Kyle, during a quiet moment at the reception.
“It’s too hard when you want different things, and there’s always a push-pull of different motives and values.
She got saved, praise the Lord, but it was only by God’s grace that we were able to get to our wedding unscathed. ”
Well, good for him, but Kyle knew he couldn’t say the same for himself.
And that was another way this was right.
He and Gen had got things wrong, but getting married now would be like finally making things right.
It didn’t have to be a mistake any longer.
Not that they’d known any better, back in the day.
It was normal, what everybody did, except religious types.
But now he could see how messing around physically set up challenges in the future.
Wondering. Imagining. Struggling to control his thoughts.
He exhaled. It would all be a lot simpler if he could just marry her and show her how he really felt.
His arm was nudged by his female seat companion. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He yawned, still feigning weariness.
Which wasn’t exactly faked. He was weary of this push and pull, this need for restraint, for caution.
He wanted things resolved. Now. For Gen to come to her senses and realize she needed Kyle back in her life.
Full time. And they could continue where they’d left things ten years ago.
An internal ping reminded him again of Ryan’s warning.
He ignored it, squashed it down. God wanted Kyle to be happy, right?
And being with Gen would make Kyle happy.
Even if it meant his parents and her mom would not be.
But still, this was his life. His and Gen’s.
And after all they’d gone through, they deserved to be happy.
And God must actually want them together, because why else, after all this time, would God have brought them into each other’s orbits?
See? It was proof that God wanted them together.
He wouldn’t bring them together if it was a no.
Which meant it had to be a yes.
He shifted, folding his arms across his chest, smiling as he thought about Gen.
Smiling at him with tease. Her scent that pulled at all his senses. The first time he’d kissed her. The dreamy look in her eyes and her whispers that made him feel like he was king of the world. The softness of her skin…
His thoughts whirled, tumbling into other places, and again he sensed he should back away. Stirring up memories would only lead to more heartache if things didn’t work out.
But another part of him longed to revisit each memory. To savor the sweetness of regret. To linger in longing, to relive each kiss, and that night—
“Ladies and gentlemen we are beginning our descent. Please stow your trays and belongings and fasten your seatbelts.”
His heart thudded painfully. Not long now. She’d agreed to be friends. Now it was time to see if she was willing to take that next step with him and be more.
“Wow.” He pushed to his feet at the restaurant table as Gen drew close.
The long black dress she wore was simple but effective, gently accentuating her curves.
He was so used to seeing her in scrubs or jeans and a blouse he’d almost forgotten how stunning she could appear when dressed up.
Her hair tumbled down around her shoulders, her long bangs holding reddish-bronze lights. “You look beautiful.”
She bit her lip. “I wasn’t sure how dressy this place was. And now I look more dressed up than everyone.”
He wished he’d thought to wear something nicer than his jeans and nice shirt. At least he’d left his ball cap at home. “I think you’ve just made everyone else wish they’d tried a little harder. Not that they could compete. You’re the prettiest by far.”
Her lips curved halfway as she slipped into her seat opposite him at the square marble table. “I didn’t realize this was a competition.”
He chuckled, nodding to a passing waiter. “There’s no competition. You win, every time.” He admired her blush then turned to the waiter. “Could we have two waters, please?”
“Certainly, sir.”
Kyle placed his hand on the table, willing her to hold it, but she shifted hers back to rest in her lap. Okay. So she wasn’t ready for hand-holding in public just yet. “So, how was your day?”
Her hair glinted as she shrugged. “It was okay. Nothing special. When I get Sundays off I play catch-up on all the things I haven’t had a chance to do during the week.”
Again he felt that urge to ask her about God, to see if maybe she’d like to come to church with him sometime. Again he ignored it.
“I’m glad you found the time to have a meal with me.”
“Well, you sounded so needy I thought I’d better.”
He grinned. “We’re getting sassy now, huh?”
“Is it sass when it’s the truth?”
“And you’ve always told the truth, haven’t you?”
Her gaze faltered, and she wet her bottom lip.
And suddenly he couldn’t look away. He wanted—needed—to know her kiss. And if tonight went the way he’d prayed it would, then he’d finally know the feel of her lips on his again.
Their waters arrived, they perused menus, ordered drinks and meals, and chatted about inconsequential things. He wanted to know everything about her, how she’d managed to go from trailer park to Seattle General, and all she kept saying was it was all thanks to hard work and her mom’s sacrifice.
“Do you think your mom will ever come around to liking me again?” Once upon a time she had. Well, accepted things at least. When he’d proved himself to be a faithful friend, her trust had been begrudgingly given. He could understand how she might not wish for that now.
“Maybe. Give her a thousand years and there’s a possibility.”
“That long, huh?”
She forked in a piece of ravioli. Swallowed. “She’s always had trust issues, I’m afraid.”
He nodded. That was fair. After catching them after, ahem, that, he understood why Minnie Rivas would find it hard to trust him again. He must’ve looked like a rich jock befriending the brainiac to take advantage of her. “I’m sorry. If I could go back and do things differently I would.”
She smeared her piece of pasta through the creamy prawn sauce. “What would you do differently?”
“I wouldn’t have decided to go without discussing things properly with you first.”
She shook her head. “You had no choice. What were you going to do? Tell the NHL no?”
Yeah. That wouldn’t have flown. “Still, I hate that you might resent me for not discussing things properly. I’m sorry.”
“It’s done. It’s in the past. We can’t change that.”
“No, but I hope it makes a difference for you to know it’s not been easy for me, that I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. I just didn’t want to be the person who held you back from doing all that you were capable of.”
Her chin dipped. “It’s not been easy, I admit that. But I’m surviving okay. Mom and—” she swallowed, “Mom and I are doing fine.”
“Do I dare ask for you to say hi to your mom from me?”
“No. I haven’t even told her that I’ve met you again.”
“So what did you say about this?”
“I told her I’m meeting a friend.”
A friend. That was all? Still, he sensed this was his moment. He reached across and gently grasped her hand. “You know, one day, when you’re ready, I’d really like to be more than friends with you, Gen.”
She drew in a breath, her gaze sliding up again to not quite meet his. “I’d like that too, but—”
“You would?”
She nodded. “But Kyle—”
“No, don’t give me a ‘but’. Let me just savor this moment. I thought you’d hate me forever so this feels like a miracle.”
He brushed the back of her hand with his thumb, and she finally met his gaze. Twin pools of dark uncertainty met him. He smiled, saw her lips curve, the way her shoulders eased down, the intensity as she held his gaze and attraction throbbed between them.
Their waiter approached and asked if they’d like the dessert menu, and he glanced at Gen who shook her head.
“Thanks but I think we’re both full.” And Gen’s comment about wanting to be more than friends suggested that she might not be opposed to finding out if their lips remembered what to do.