8. Deuce
DEUCE
County was starting to get on my last damn nerve. I had been in this bitch long enough to know every crack in the wall, which deputies liked to run their mouths, and which ones would walk right past you without saying a word. I knew when breakfast came and when they started moving people for court.
I knew when the doors would buzz open and close. Shit had damn near become routine and I hated it. I wasn’t used to a muthafucka telling me what to do. I was my own boss and ain’t shit move unless I said so. All this shit was foreign to me.
The judge had denied bond again, talking about me being a flight risk. A flight risk? Man, where the fuck was I supposed to go? My whole life was in Detroit, my business, my family, everything I had worked for. I wasn’t running nowhere, but the judge wasn’t trying to hear none of that shit.
So here I was still locked up and waiting on somebody to figure out how to get me the hell out. When they brought Rell into visitation, I could tell by his face he wasn’t just coming to check on me, but to let me know what was going on on the outside.
He sat across from me and leaned forward. “Shit getting tight.”
I looked at him.“How tight?”
“The people waiting on that shit ain’t trying to wait no more.”
I already knew who he meant.
“The money and the other shit.”
I nodded. “What they saying?”
“They want what belongs to them.”
I rubbed my jaw. “Tell ‘em it’s being handled.”
“I told ’em that.”
“And?” I asked.
“They ain’t trying to hear it no more.”
I sucked my teeth. “How long?”
“Not long.”
I leaned back. “Keep everybody calm.”
“I’m trying.” Rell glanced around before lowering his voice. “They asked about you too.”
“I’m sitting right here.”
“You know what I mean. They want to know when their shit moving.”
I shook my head. “Tell ‘em I’m working on getting out.”
“They already know you locked up.”
“Then they know why shit ain’t moving.”
Rell nodded. “Yeah.”
I leaned back in the chair. “Anything else?”
He hesitated. “Yeah.”
I looked at him. “What?”
“Alisha ain’t been at the house.”
My face tightened. “What you mean?”
“She ain’t been staying there.”
“How long?”
“About two weeks.”
I stared at him. “Two weeks?”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t say shit for a second. I knew she wasn’t coming to court or she wasn’t answering my calls. But I didn’t know she had stopped staying at the house too. “Where she at?”
Rell shook his head. “That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
I rubbed my jaw. “You don’t know?”
“Nah, I’ve had people checking the house.”
“She ain’t been there.” I leaned back because that shit didn’t sit right with me. “Anybody know where she went?”
“Not yet.”
I nodded slowly. “Brittany?”
“She’s still with her Grandma.”
At least I knew my daughter was good. I looked down at the table.
Every court date, I had looked for Alisha, but she wasn’t there.
Just an empty seat where I kept expecting her to be.
And every time I called her, she didn’t answer.
I had been telling myself she was still mad.
Hell, she had every right to be, but now she wasn’t even staying at home?
That shit was different and out of character for her.
Rell watched me. “You want me to find her?”
I looked up. “Yeah.”
“I’ll see what I can find.”
“Don’t have nobody approaching her.”
“I got you.”
“I just need to know where she at.”
Rell nodded, I leaned forward. “And when you find her, tell her to answer my calls.”
He looked at me. “She probably don’t want to talk.”
“I don’t give a fuck She’s my wife. She can be mad, she can cuss me out, she can tell me to go to hell.” I paused. “But she needs to answer that damn phone.”
Rell nodded. “And if she don’t?”
I looked him dead in his face. “Tell her it’s gonna be a motherfucking problem.”
He gave me a look but didn’t say nothing. I wasn’t asking him to threaten her. I just needed Alisha to stop shutting me out. Rell stood when the guard came over. “I’ll find her.”
I nodded. “And handle the other shit.”
“I got it.” He started walking away.
“Rell.”
He turned around. “Yeah?”
“Don’t come back telling me you couldn’t find her.”
He nodded once. “I won’t.”
The guard walked him out. I sat there staring at the empty chair.
The money situation was bad and the product situation was worse.
The judge had me stuck in the county. But now my wife was somewhere out there, not answering my calls, not coming to court, and apparently not even staying at home.
I didn’t know where the hell she was. And that shit had my mind going a mile a minute.
Because Alisha wasn’t the type to just disappear.
Something had changed and I needed to know what it was.
I walked back to my cell with my hands shoved in my pockets, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. Every time I thought I was getting close to figuring this shit out, something else got thrown on my plate. The feds were digging deeper and now Alisha was gone somewhere I couldn’t even find her.
I sat down on that hard ass bunk and leaned my head against the wall.
I should’ve never fucked with Kim. That thought had been eating at me since the agents put them cuffs on me.
If Kim’s daddy wasn't the FBI, I probably would’ve had a whole different situation on my hands.
I would’ve been fighting whatever charges they had and moving on with my life.
Instead, that man had apparently decided to make my ass his personal project.
Now the government wasn’t just looking at one thing.
They were trying to build some RICO type shit.
That meant they weren’t just coming after me.
They were trying to connect everybody around me to whatever the hell they thought I was running. I rubbed my face. “Fuck.”
I had gotten too comfortable, that's what happened. I thought I could control everything. My business, my side shit, my family, my money. I thought I could keep everything separated. Now all that shit was crashing into each other.
Kim was at the center of damn near all of it. I closed my eyes. I didn’t even want to think about her, but somehow, I couldn’t stop. Then I heard the deputy. “Carter.”
I looked up.
“Visitation.” He yelled.
I frowned. Visitation again? For a second, my heart jumped. Maybe Alisha finally came. Maybe she’d gotten tired of ignoring me. I stood up and followed the deputy down the hallway. But when I walked into the visitation room my whole mood changed. Kim was sitting there, I stopped in the doorway.
She stood up slowly. “Deuce…”
I shook my head. “Nah.”
She looked hurt. “I just wanted to see you.”
“You need to leave me the fuck alone.” I spat.
Her face dropped. “Deuce.”
“I said leave me alone, Kim.”
She sat back down, I stayed standing. I wasn’t sitting across from her. I didn’t trust myself to be that close. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “You won’t even talk to me?”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“But—”
“Kim, look around.”
I motioned toward the walls. “I’m sitting in the county because this shit got way bigger than it ever should’ve been.”
She wiped her face. “I never wanted this to happen.”
I laughed. “That’s all you ever say. You didn’t want this or You didn’t want that. You didn’t mean this. But somehow I’m the one sitting in here.”
She looked down, I took a breath. “I’m done.”
Her head snapped up. “What?”
“I’m done with you.”
“Deuce…”
“When these babies get here, you can pick them up.”
She stared at me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying exactly what I said. I don’t want nothing to do with you anymore. And I don’t want no part of whatever you got going on.”
Her eyes filled again. “But the babies…”
“Those babies ain’t the problem.” I paused. “The problem is everything that came with them.”
She looked at me like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You can’t just walk away from us.”
I shook my head. “Watch me.”
“Deuce, those are our children.”
“I know.”
“And you’re just going to abandon them?”
I looked at her. “I ain’t abandoning shit. I’m making a choice.”
She wiped her cheeks. “So you telling me you not going to be a father to our kids…” She hesitated. “…but you’re going to be a father to you and Alisha’s daughter?”
My jaw tightened. “That’s exactly what the fuck I’m saying.”
Kim stared at me. I leaned forward. “I’m not letting none of you motherfuckers tear up my family.”
She didn’t say anything.
“Alisha and Brittany are my family. That's what I’m protecting.”
Kim’s face twisted. “But what about me?”
I shook my head. “I don’t care about you anymore.” That shit sounded cold but I meant it. “I made a mistake fucking with you and I’m paying for it now.”
She sat there looking at me like she was waiting for me to change my mind, I wasn’t. I turned toward the door.
“Deuce…”
I kept walking.
“Deuce, please.”
I didn’t turn around. The deputy opened the door.
I walked through without looking back. For once, I didn’t care if Kim cried.
Didn’t care if she was angry or what she thought.
I had spent too damn long trying to keep everybody happy and look where that shit got me.
Locked up, my marriage hanging by a thread and my business under a microscope.
And the people around me catching hell because of decisions I made.
I couldn’t undo what happened, but I could damn sure decide what happened next.
I made it back to my cell and sat on that bunk with my elbows resting on my knees.
For the first time since I got locked up, I wasn’t thinking about getting out.
I was thinking about what the hell was waiting for me if I did.
I had spent years making sure my family was good.
Making sure Brittany had whatever she needed and making sure Alisha never had to worry about shit.
I pulled my hands over my face. I fucked up there wasn’t no way around that.
Kim’s father made damn sure of that. That nigga wasn’t just coming after me because his daughter was hurt he was building a case.
If they connected everything they were looking at, I wasn’t just fighting to get home.
I could be fighting to stay out of prison for a long damn time.
The thought made my stomach turn. I thought about Brittany, my little girl didn’t deserve none of this shit.
As far as she knew, Daddy was supposed to come home.
She probably didn’t understand why I wasn’t there.
Then I thought about Alisha. I didn’t know where the hell she was.
And for once, I couldn’t blame her. I had given her every reason to walk away.
But the thought of her actually doing it, that shit scared me.
Losing Kim I could live with that, but losing Alisha was different.
That was my wife, The woman who had been standing beside me long before Kim ever came around.
I leaned my head against the wall. “Fuck.” I had spent so much time thinking I could have everything.
Now I was sitting in the county realizing you can’t keep building shit on lies and expect it not to eventually collapse. A deputy walked past my cell. For a second, I thought about calling Alisha again then I remembered she wasn’t answering.
I dropped my head. Maybe she was finally done. Maybe she had finally realized what everybody else already knew. I wasn’t untouchable, I wasn’t in control. I was just a man sitting in a damn cell watching everything he loved slip right through his fingers.
And now I couldn’t stop thinking about Shante.
I needed to know how she was doing, so when the next phone period started, I got in line and waited for my turn.
Once I got to the phone, I punched in Shante’s number.
The automated voice came on first, reminding us the call was from the county and could be recorded. I waited until Shante answered.
“Hello?”
I leaned against the wall. “You good?”
“I’m okay.”
“How are the babies?”
“They’re good.”
I nodded.
“Good.” For a second, neither of us said anything.
Then Shante sighed. “Deuce…”
“What?”
“Malik knows.”
I straightened up. “Know what?”
“The truth.” She replied.
My face tightened. “He knows about the surrogacy?”
“Yeah.”
“How the fuck he find out?”
“At the hospital.”
I frowned. “What happened?”
“The nurse was talking to me about it. Malik walked in while she was talking.”
My jaw tightened. “And heard everything?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fuck.” I rubbed my forehead, that explained some shit.
Malik knew which meant Alisha could be next. “Alisha know?”
“No.”
I paused. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you know?”
“She just left my house.”
I sat there for a second. “She was at your house?”
“Yeah.”
“What for?” I asked.
“She brought more gifts for the babies.”
I closed my eyes and shit hit me weird. My wife was still buying gifts for babies she thought belonged to Shante and Malik. Still supporting her best friend and still completely clueless. “Does she say anything about me?”
“No.”
“Ask about me?”
“Not really.”
I sucked my teeth then something else crossed my mind. “Where is Malik at?”
“He moved out.”
I leaned back against the wall. “Good.”
Shante went quiet.
“He really hurt, Deuce. He feels betrayed.”
“I said I know.”
“He loved me.”
I shook my head. “He’ll get over it.”
I wasn’t about to sit on a county phone feeling sorry for Malik. I had enough shit on my plate. But I couldn’t lie to myself either, I understood why he left. If somebody played me like that, I’d be gone too. I just wasn’t about to make his feelings my problem.
“So Alisha still doesn't know?”
“No.”
“She left thinking everything was good?”
“Pretty much.”
I rubbed my jaw. “Good.”
“Deuce, this isn’t good.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“You sure?”
I looked around the county hallway. Hell no, I wasn’t sure but I wasn’t about to tell her that.
“Just don’t say shit don’t tell Alisha nothing.”
Shante didn’t answer.
“You hear me?”
“Yeah.”
I heard somebody behind me telling the next person to hurry up. I glanced over my shoulder. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
I hung up and stood there with the receiver still in my hand for a second.
Malik knew but Alisha didn’t. And somehow, that gave me a little relief.
Not because I gave a damn what Malik thought.
That nigga could stay mad. The crazy part was, my whole life was falling apart around me, and I was still thinking about how to keep Alisha from walking away.