7. Malik
MALIK
Isat in the middle of my new living room staring at the damn wall.
This was supposed to be a happy time for me.
I had just bought this house for me and Shante.
A whole damn house, I was supposed to surprise her with it after the babies came.
Tell her it was ours, our fresh start. Now I was sitting in that same house by myself trying to wrap my head around how the hell I got here.
I looked around, everything was brand new.
Upstairs was the nursery with two cribs sitting side by side.
I hand picked that shit out myself. I spent nights putting that shit together thinking I was preparing for my kids.
I leaned forward and rubbed my hands over my face, the shit still didn’t feel real. Shante had been lying to me for months.
I shook my head. “Man, fuck Deuce.” I already didn’t like that nigga, never did.
But this shit took it to another level. Somehow he got his own sister mixed up in his bullshit.
I couldn’t even begin to understand it. Then I thought about Shante agreeing to betray the people who fucked with her the most, that’s what kept eating at me.
She could’ve told me what she was doing instead of trying to be on some sneaky shit.
I mean I know I wouldn’t have agreed to allowing her to carry another man’s baby.
I don’t give a damn who Deuce is to her!
That’s some weird ass shit! I could see if she was carrying for Deuce and Alisha and even then I would have said no.
Instead, she let me believe I was about to be a father.
There was a knock at the door, I sat there for a second, then whoever it was knocked again. “Malik.” My best friend Dre yelled. I got up and opened the door, Dre stood there holding a couple food containers. “You ate?” He asked.
“Nah.” I replied.
“I figured.” He said. He walked inside without waiting for an invitation. He looked around the house then back at me. “Is this the house you were telling me about?”
“Yeah.” I said while looking around too.
He nodded slowly. “Nice.”
I closed the door and we walked into the living room and sat down. Dre put the food on the table. “I brought you some steak bites from Starters.”
“I’m not really hungry, but good looking.” I replied.
“Eat anyway.” Dre frowned.
I opened the container and neither one of us said anything for a minute. Dre finally looked at me. “You alright?”
I laughed. “Do I look alright?” I picked at the food.
“I still can’t believe that shit.” Dre nodded.
“Yeah, I really thought those were my babies.” He didn’t interrupt. “I had everything planned and I bought this house. I was getting the nursery together. I was thinking about names.” I shook my head. “Whole time, she was fucking lying.”
Dre looked down. “That’s fucked up.”
“Yeah.” I leaned back. “I don’t even know how to feel. Am I mad? Hell yeah. Hurt?” I looked toward the stairs. “I feel betrayed. Shante played in my face. You know what I do to muthafuckas who play in my face! But I can’t do shit because I loved her ass, and still do.” I spat.
Dre nodded. “I get that.” I sat there for a second.
Then he asked, “Does Alisha know?”
I looked at him. “Nah.”
His eyebrows lifted. “She don’t know?”
“No.” I replied disgustedly.
“She still thinks Shante’s pregnant by you?” Dre asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
He leaned back. “Man…That’s fucked up too.” He rubbed his jaw. “You think Shante’s gone tell her?”
I shook my head. “Probably not.”
“You think Deuce gone , tell her?”
I laughed. “That nigga? Hell nah.”
Dre nodded. “Then somebody gotta tell her.”
I looked at him.“I don’t want to be in the middle of that shit, I ain’t no messy ass nigga.”
“Yeah I feel you, but she deserves to know. Just like you deserved to know. These niggas know they know how to fuck up a good thing. I know I’m the biggest hoe in Detroit, but that’s because I haven’t found my person.
Shit you thought Shante was your person and look how that turned out!
” Dre said while shaking his head. “I’m not telling you to go start no shit.
I’m just saying, if it was me, I’d want to know. ”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
He grabbed another piece of food. “And don’t worry about her being alone.”
I looked at him. “What you mean?”
He shrugged. “She got people.”
I stared at him. “Man, you trying to get at Alisha?”
He laughed. “Man, I’m just saying she is fine as hell.”
“You ain’t shit.” I laughed.
Dre shook his head. “Look, on some real shit. Don’t let what they did turn you into somebody you ain’t.”
I looked down because part of me wanted to go off, part of me wanted to tear shit up, part of me wanted to make Deuce feel everything I was feeling. But none of that was going to fix shit.
Dre stood up and grabbed his jacket. “I’m about to get up out of here. I know you ain’t really in the mood to be entertaining. Just hit me up if you need me, you know I ain’t never far away.”
I nodded. “Aight.”
He stopped at the door then looked back. “And eat that food.”
I laughed. “Aight, man.”
He walked out and I locked the door behind him and stood there for a second. The house was quiet again. I looked around and I just couldn’t believe I bought this house for Shante because I loved her, now I didn’t even know what the hell I was going to do with it.
I sat back down on the couch, my phone was sitting beside me.
I didn’t touch it for once, I didn’t want to hear anybody’s voice.
I just wanted to sit with the truth. I needed to figure this shit out, because I wasn’t the type of nigga that was going to sit around and pout about getting played.
Yeah my heart was broken but I wasn’t weak.
If I could survive losing my Mama, then I know I could get through this shit.
Alisha was still walking around believing a lie, and that was fucked up.
I wondered how long Deuce and Shante were gone keep going with the lie, she deserved the truth.
Tired of thinking about it I got up and put the food away.
I didn’t feel like doing shit so I stripped down, climbed into the bed, and stared at the ceiling.
Everything in this room was brand new, but somehow I still felt like I was laying in somebody else’s life. I rolled over and closed my eyes and the phone started ringing.
I didn’t look, I already knew it was Shante. I let it ring and it stopped. A few seconds later, it started again. I grabbed the phone and turned it facedown on the nightstand. “Man, leave me the fuck alone.” It finally stopped, I exhaled and closed my eyes again.
Five minutes later…
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
I snatched the phone up. “Goddamn!” I looked at the screen and it was Shante again. I declined it, then she called right back. I stared at that shit until I couldn’t take it anymore. I answered, “What, Shante?”
She was quiet for a second then I heard her sniffle. “I just wanted to tell you something.”
I rubbed my eyes. “What?”
“I’m not leaving you.” She mumbled
I sat up. “What?”
“I’m giving you space.” She took a breath. “But I’m not giving up on us.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I know you’re hurt and I know you don’t trust me right now and I know I fucked up. But I love you and I just wanted you to know I’m not going anywhere.”
I stared at the wall that shit might have made me happy before, but tonight it just made me tired. She started talking again. “I’m going to give you the time you need. You don’t have to worry about me blowing your phone up. I’m just…she paused. “I want you to know I’m still here.”
I didn’t have nothing to say, because if I opened my mouth, I might say something I couldn’t take back so I just hung up.
I tossed the phone on the bed and I laid back down.
The room went quiet again but my mind didn’t.
Trust, that shit meant everything to me.
I wasn’t one of those people who could hear an apology and forget everything happened.
If I gave you my word, I meant it. If you gave me yours, I expected the same.
That’s how I had always been. Once I trusted you, I trusted you completely.
I didn’t second guess what you said. I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I expected you to give me the same respect. Shante had that and she knew it.
That’s why this shit hurts so bad. She didn’t just lie, she made me build a whole future around a lie.
I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness.
I rolled onto my side. “Trust don’t come with an undo button.
” Once it’s gone, you can’t just put that shit back where it was.
You can apologize, you can cry, you can swear you changed.
The person who trusted you before gone remember exactly what it felt like to find out you were lying.
And I wasn’t built to love somebody I couldn’t trust. That’s why I knew giving Shante space wasn’t just about cooling off. I needed to figure out if there was even a version of us left worth fighting for. Because I could forgive a lot but betrayal that shit changed everything.