Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
As Tom counted down the days to Clara’s departure, he considered renting out his property.
He needed to organise something soon but Clara was still noncommittal about him moving to Cambridge.
She had been slightly withdrawn the past week and he was worried it was because she had doubts about their relationship.
He had tried to push down his insecurities and if he hadn’t done so much work on himself during rehab, that self-loathing he had suffered from would have started rearing its ugly head.
Whenever he asked Clara about the move, she wouldn’t give him a straight answer.
He feared that she was planning her new start without him, despite what he hoped.
This seemed even more credible when she invited him over for dinner and told him that ‘they needed to talk’.
Everyone knew what that meant, he told himself.
Still, he needed to hear whatever she was going to say and tried to stay positive, turning up with a box of Clara’s favourite chocolates.
‘After Eights! Oh, you do know how to spoil a girl,’ said Clara, summoning him inside.
‘I do hope you’re not one of those monstrous people who leaves the empty wrappers inside the box for others to find, are you? Is this where I find out something terrible about you?’ teased Tom.
‘Oh no, that would be so uncouth of me, Tom. What sort of person would that make me? Did you know there are whole online debates about this subject?’
‘Quite frankly, I’m not surprised. Evil behaviour. Imagine thinking there’s one After Eight left to discover it’s an empty wrapper.’
‘The horror of it!’ Clara laughed.
As Tom walked past the kitchen, the smell of sausages and onion wafted over to him.
‘Ooh, never mind the chocolates. Something here smells absolutely divine,’ said Tom, sniffing the air.
‘I do hope you like toad in the hole, Tom.’
‘One of my favourites, actually.’
Tom immediately thought how much he would miss Clara’s cooking if he was to be dumped. Of course, he would miss absolutely everything about her. It didn’t bear thinking about.
While she dished out the toad in the hole, making sure Tom had a nice hearty portion, she looked up to see him watching her. She loved the way his eyes twinkled when he looked at her. You could see the chemistry between them from a mile away.
They both sat down together at the dining table, the one thing she hadn’t sold or donated, and when she looked across at Tom, she thought how she would never consider choosing a man over a career; this was something she was very particular about.
Clara would always try to steer students away from making decisions simply because of someone they had met and would tell them that it had to be their decision – what they wanted.
Nobody should ever be influenced by someone else.
So, as she thought about what she was going to say, she knew it was her decision alone and it was exactly what she wanted to do with no persuasion from any outside force.
‘Everything okay?’ said Tom, sensing her tension.
‘Yes, Tom. Everything is more than okay.’
Clara smiled and put her cutlery down. She was going to wait to finish dinner before explaining how she felt, but she couldn’t wait to tell Tom her news any longer.
‘So, about Cambridge.’
‘Yes, I can’t believe how quickly it’s come around. Six more days and counting.’
‘Yeah. Six more days until I need to leave this beautiful city and all my friends . . . and you.’
‘Well, it’s a fine promotion you’re getting. More money, lots of opportunities and a new adventure. I’m sure it’ll be worth the upheaval in the long run.’
Tom wanted Clara to stay more than anything but he could also see what a great posting this was. He would never dream of trying to hold her back.
‘Hmm. Well, that’s the thing. I’m not so sure it will be.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It is a great opportunity and all that but maybe I’d rather stay. I don’t want to leave the place I love and everyone from here. Maybe it’s not worth the promotion.’
Tom sat back and looked at Clara.
‘You’ll make friends soon enough and new memories. Isn’t that worth it for you?’
‘Not really, no. I’ve given it so much thought, Tom. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here in Oxford where I belong, with you.’
‘But hasn’t Lawrence already found someone to replace you?’
‘Yes. He has. Slight problem there. I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I?’
‘No, you haven’t but I don’t know how it works with Stephen being told he’s got your job.’
‘Nor me. But, if the worst comes to the worst, I’ll take some time off. Maybe it’s too late to save my job but I’ve decided that I’m turning down Cambridge. I’ve made my decision and nothing will make me change my mind. I want to be with you.’
‘Oh, Clara. I want to be with you more than anything in the world, but I don’t want you making this decision because of me.’
‘No, it’s not all because of you, I promise; I’ve given it so much thought. I can’t do it. I have everything I could dream of here in Oxford. It’s my home and I have my friends and you are the icing on the cake. I’d be mad to leave all I’ve got.’
‘Goodness. That’s wonderful news for everyone here but what will King’s College say?’
‘I’ll have to deal with it. I’ll explain. It’s not ideal but it’s better that I back out now than a week into the position. They said they had lots of applicants. I’m sure someone will absolutely jump at it.’
‘I would imagine so.’
Now that Clara had made the decision and informed Tom, she knew she was doing the right thing. She had never been more certain of anything in her life. It was just a shame that she had muddled everything up for everyone before she realised what she had.
‘Sometimes you don’t realise how lucky you are until you’re about to lose it all.’
‘You can say that again,’ said Tom, his foot reaching out for Clara’s underneath the table. ‘In fact, it must be my lucky day. Since we’re staying put, I can tell you about some exciting news.’
‘Ooh, sounds good.’
‘It is. I didn’t want to say anything earlier, as I wouldn’t have wanted to influence your decision but when I was in rehab, I was thinking about how much I wanted to give something back to other people after all the help I’ve been given.
Before I found out about your possible move, I looked into doing a psychology and counselling course.
I applied to one in Oxford and this morning found out I’d been accepted.
I was going to turn it down, but now it looks like I might be able to accept it. ’
‘Oh, Tom! That’s wonderful news. Absolutely incredible. You’ll make such a terrific counsellor.’
‘Thanks. It’s different to being an accountant but it’s now or never and this feels a lot more rewarding than helping people fill in their tax returns.’
‘I would think so. I can’t believe you’d consider turning something so wonderful down for me though. That’s very naughty of you.’
‘No, I’d have found a course elsewhere, but right now getting things on track for us is my priority. I wish the same could be said about Josh.’
‘I’ve been thinking about that. I want to help you rekindle things with Josh. If I’m off for a while, I can help trace him. Perhaps I can reach out on your behalf.’
‘You’d do that for me?’
‘Of course. I’d do most things for you, Tom. Nothing illegal though; hopefully that goes without saying.’ Clara laughed.
‘I don’t know what to say. It would make me so happy if he’d speak to me again.’
‘Good, that’s all I want. I can’t promise you anything, so don’t get your hopes up. But I’m not too bad at negotiating peace normally. I’ll do what I can.’
‘How can I ever repay you?’
‘Don’t speak too soon. I haven’t done anything yet. There are some relationships that can’t be fixed. Usually when one party is stubborn, but it’s worth trying. Why don’t you write him a heartfelt letter and I’ll find a way for him to get it?’
‘You are truly amazing. Do you know that?’
‘Well, you have mentioned it a few times,’ said Clara with a big grin.
‘I want you to know that I promise I’ll never let you down. I’ll continue working on myself and our relationship. I want to be the best partner I can possibly be to you. You’re all I’ve ever dreamed of, Clara Bennett. I love you so much.’
Tom’s dining chair toppled over in his rush to embrace Clara. As they kissed, Clara was more certain than ever that she had made the right decision. After all, home is where the heart is, and Clara’s heart well and truly belonged to the wonderful city of Oxford.