Chapter 16
“T hank you,” Millie said her voice almost a whisper. She accepted the steaming mug from Alfie and cradled it close, a layer of fluffy blanket over her skin taking the edge off the heat. Her voice was hoarse, her throat still stinging from the influx of salt water she had involuntarily consumed a mere hour before. Had it only been an hour? Time seemed to have moved in slow motion from the moment she had felt her tight-clad feet leave the relative safety of the beach and crash into the waves after the girl.
It hadn’t entered her mind who the girl was or why on Earth she’d found herself in that predicament until long after she had left the water. As she slumped at the top of the slope, clinging onto Alfie for dear life and desperately trying to regain her breathing, she could remember seeing a man and a woman with their arms wound around the girl, all three of them sobbing. She had overheard snippets of conversation as Alfie supported her up the bank, saying they were on holiday from Germany, visiting a town further down in Cornwall but had come here for the day for a beach walk gone seriously awry. She struggled to think how the incident could even have happened, or what made them think it was in any way a good idea but decided not to expend too much mental energy on it – it had happened, it was done and thankfully no-one was seriously hurt. The parents had tried to grab her for a thank-you hug but she was just too depleted and continued to stumble in the direction of Alfie’s home.
She really had thought that was it: the end. She had never swum in water like that before and had never felt truly at the mercy of such powerful waves. It would take a long time to go back in after that, she knew. Even sitting here in the warm glow of Alfie’s apartment, seeing and hearing the still-roaring waves made her feel uneasy. She turned her body slightly, so she was facing away. Alfie had sat next to her but not too close, leaving a gap between them and holding his own mug of tea on his knee.
“Are you sure you don’t want something stronger?” he enquired, nodding his head towards the tea. Millie smiled weakly.
“No thank you. My head’s swimming enough already, if you mind the pun, without adding alcohol to it,” she replied, pulling a face. They both took a contemplative sip.
“Are you sure the clothes are comfy enough?” he asked tentatively again, and Millie smiled inwardly. This was the kindest she had ever known Alfie to be, even topping his assistance cleaning up her paint spillage - it was like a complete one-hundred-and-eighty-degree flip from the man she had first met.
“They’re fine, honestly,” she answered. It was strange to be sat in his clothes, let alone on his sofa in his flat. After the incident, she had felt so completely drained and exhausted, and her entire body soaked through that walking the half a mile back up to her house in the driving sheets of rain and wind had seemed an inexplicable thought. It just naturally happened that she found herself back at Alfie’s. He had immediately handed her a pair of his shorts (which hung halfway down her calves), a t-shirt, a soft, grey hoodie which completely swamped her and thick, welly socks. It had felt downright bizarre padding back into the lounge in the attire - particularly because she was hyper aware she had no underwear on underneath - and getting comfy on his sofa. After a steaming hot shower which had brought warmth back into her body and drying her hair roughly with a towel (the hairdryer seemed too much effort) she felt a little more normal, although still very shaken. This is where the hot mug of tea and fluffy blanket had helped to take the edge off even more.
“It’s really howling out there,” Alfie observed quietly, and Millie could hear the waves smashing against the sea wall and the buildings along it. She shuddered slightly at the thought.
“How is it that the clock tower stays up? It looks ancient and it must have taken a battering over the years,” she enquired.
“Ah, that clock tower has withstood all manner of weather, including the great storm of ’88. Made of strong stuff. They don’t make them like that anymore,” he replied, then raised his eyebrows, “or so they all tell me.” They both laughed.
“Besides,” he continued, reaching forwards to set his mug on the coffee table, “there’s every chance it won’t be there for much longer.” She frowned.
“What do you mean? You just said it’s virtually indestructible?”
“I heard some news down in the square a few weeks back now. Some huge property companies are looking to build luxury flats there. The council are behind it all the way of course because they’ll get a hefty sum from the land. Apparently, it’s “dead wood” as it’s not used for enough events. Not listed, apparently, which surprises me. Unless the village hall gets a new lease of life very soon, it’s done for.” He sighed heavily. “Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not a lifelong local like Mr Slee or Ethel, but the village just wouldn’t be right without it. It’s historic.”
“Plus, your apartment would lose its view if luxury flats went up,” Millie added. Alfie’s face darkened.
“Oh yeah! I hadn’t thought of that!” he retorted. “There must be something we can do to save it, if not just for my spoiled sea view.” She could tell he was joking but agreed with him. They both went quiet, as if musing on the subject until Millie couldn’t stifle it any longer and let out an enormous yawn. Alfie turned to her and gave a little laugh.
“Tired?”
She nodded. “Exhausted. But hey, I came here to look at your art,” she answered, shuffling up slightly and rubbing her eyes.
“Another time, maybe?” he replied, taking in her tired voice. “It really doesn’t matter now. Shall we get you home?” She pulled a face at the thrashing sounds of the sea outside, the wind still whirling and the rain battering the window. “Or…” he continued, noticing her hesitation, “you could stay here? I’d be on the sofa, of course,” he clarified quickly, taking in the shock on her face. She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either and Alfie decided to make the decision for her. “Let me show you where everything is. Hopefully by the morning, after a good sleep and when it’s all settled down outside, you can go home safely.” Millie smiled gratefully and gave a small nod.
It was weird, Alfie noted to himself whilst taking her through to his bedroom, that it didn’t feel weird to do this, despite her still being virtually a stranger. Once he’d shown her where everything was that she might need, adding extra blankets to the bed, they paused by his bedroom door.
“I appreciate this,” she said quietly, “thank you.” He exhaled and smiled, glancing down at the floor, so to break the intense eye contact.
“Consider it a peace offering for how foul I’ve been to you,” he replied. She moved closer a step and he could feel the heat coming off her body, catching her delicate scent. She reached down and took his hand gently, the touch passing electricity through their hands. Surely it couldn’t just be him who felt it? She held his gaze as he held his breath and after another second had passed, she pressed her mug into his hand and let go.
“You haven’t been completely foul,” she murmured, a small smile playing on her lips. “Maybe just a little bit of a twat…” Despite the fact she was outright insulting him, the intensity of the moment was palpable. Should he go in? Or stay where he was. It seemed a fine line decision he hadn’t seen himself having to make earlier that evening…
* * *
“You did WHAT?!” Jenny’s face conveyed total shock on the screen. Millie watched her on the screen, a mass of curls scraped back off her face with a bright headscarf. She was feeding Leo who was making cute little noises which made her heart ache.
“I did what I had to do! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same Jen? The girl was drowning .” Millie continued washing out her paintbrushes in a bowl of warm water, as Jenny pulled a face.
“Yeah but, don’t they have lifeguards for that?” she responded, and Millie let out a laugh.
“Not in November, after dark!” Jenny rolled her eyes.
“Sorry. Forgot you’re a Cornwall expert now,” she said but the teasing in her voice showed she was being light-hearted.
“There’s something else as well…” Millie began. Instantly, Jenny sat up.
“Yes…” she encouraged. Millie paused, laying some brushes down on a towel and beginning to pat them dry.
“Afterwards, I stayed in Alfie’s bed.”
“I’m sorry?! Is this Alfie the artist? You stayed in his bed ?!”
“Yes, but don’t get too excited. He was on the sofa.” She took in her friend’s raised eyebrows and knowing expression. “He was, ” she insisted. Jenny sat back again, looking dejected.
“ THAT – quite frankly – is poor gossip. How am I supposed to live my boring sex life vicariously through you when you don’t jump at obvious chances? Come back to me when you know his shoe size, if you know what I mean,” she winked over-exaggeratedly. Millie burst out laughing and Jenny joined.
“I think everyone knows what you mean when you’re around Jen. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I was recovering from my near-death experience!” Jenny rolled her eyes.
“Even heroes are allowed their happily-ever-after Millie. You deserve some goodness in your life. And goodness from hot, creative type men is most certainly encouraged!”
Millie rolled her eyes; her friend was way off the mark. The morning after her traumatic ordeal, she’d woken early, the weather now calm and still. She’d wanted to leave before he woke and, after retrieving her clothes from the dryer and putting them on, had quietly padded through his apartment to leave. She paused to watch him asleep on the sofa; he looked uncomfortable, barely fitting with nothing but a small cushion under his head. She’d felt a stab of guilt having just spent the night in an extremely large, comfortable bed which she’d been far too aware smelt exactly of him. His bedroom had matched the rest of his flat – minimalist yet still warm and inviting. Despite the events of the night before, she’d slept more soundly than she had on any other night since arriving in Cornwall.
Quietly, she’d left without him knowing and they hadn’t spoken for a few days following. She wasn’t sure what to say. Whilst nothing had happened between them, sleeping in his bed had still felt intimate and there was no doubt that they had shared a moment at his bedroom door. Yet, the fact he hadn’t messaged or called by spoke volumes to Millie that he clearly wasn’t interested, in that way. Besides, he was with Dana. God knows what she would say to Millie if she knew she’d slept in his bed. Thank goodness she was away and would never find out.
“Well, you know I know you well Mils and, whilst I believe you, I also think there’s more to this story than you’re letting on,” Jenny said, lifting Leo onto her shoulder and gently patting his back, no doubt encouraging him to burp.
“Whatever you think,” Millie replied, airily.
“I do think,” Jenny answered. “Anyway, have you had any thoughts about coming back to visit us? Leo is desperate to meet his Godmother and I’d love you to meet him before the christening in February.” Millie slowed her cleaning as she articulated a response.
“You know I’d love to come and see you all Jen it’s just…there’s some things I’m still trying to work through. About coming back to London.”
“I haven’t seen Sam around, if that’s what you mean,” Jenny replied bluntly.
“It’s not just that. It’s a whole feeling I have and…I’m working on it,” she replied, wanting to close off the conversation as soon as possible.
She couldn’t keep putting off a return forever, especially as her Godson was there – she had been so honoured to be asked to be his Godmother and he deserved one who made the effort to come and see him. Once again, she felt like she was the problem, letting people down. It was such a difficult feeling to shake.